Author: C-chan96 PM
No matter what anyone says, the heart and the mind aren’t always connected. You can’t communicate with your emotions. You can’t climb yourself out of love once you’ve fallen hard…or at least I can’t.Rated: Fiction K+ - English - Angst/Romance - Chapters: 5 - Words: 7,590 - Reviews: 40 - Favs: 5 - Follows: 1 - Updated: 04-05-05 - Published: 02-14-05 - id: 2265057
|A+ A- Full 3/4 1/2 Expand Tighten|
Fweee…umm…yeah. This chapter is dedicated to Meme because I miss our OTP and will never let them die. It's quite short though…I apologize, but oh well. It needed to be. :nods:
If only you knew.
Looking around my dorm room, I see that Banks is sitting at his desk working intently like the good little cake-eater that he is. I don't know if he even realizes I'm standing two feet away from him.
I turn back around and open the door, and Banks looks up from his paper. "Oh, hey Conway."
"Uh, hey Banksie." Man, I suddenly didn't feel like being here. Having Banks there completely ruined my chance of angsting in loneliness. Thanks a lot, buddy. "I think I'm gonna head out for awhile."
"But you just-" he started before shaking his head. "Nevermind. Go on," he said with a smirk. "And you call me weird."
"You are weird," I insist, "Who in their right mind does homework voluntarily on a Saturday?"
"Someone who doesn't want to fail, that's who," he responds with a small grin. We've had this conversation before.
"And I repeat, you're weird," I say with a slight grin of my own before slipping out the door. "Catch ya later, Banksie." I hear his laugh and response as I close the door.
I let out another sigh as the grin fades. I shove my hands into my pocket and start for the quad…I decide to go the long way considering I have no real purpose or aim; it's not like I'm in a rush to get there. Then I'd have to go through the trouble of thinking of another location to mindlessly walk too…and that contradicts the "mindless" part of the deal.
I pass by Guy and Averman's dorm and wonder if you're in there. Shaking my head and realizing there's no way you could already be there unless you went directly to his dorm after talking to me, I push the thought from my mind. There's no need to bother thinking about that anyway…can't be healthy.
I step out into the quad and sigh, wishing I could just switch off something in my mind…turn off the part of me that wants nothing more than you to feel the same about me as I do for you…the part that just once wants to see my emotions mirrored in your eyes. The part that wants to hurl anytime you and Guy do anything even remotely "coupley"…which is about every 5. 6 seconds, on average. I spend a lot of time wanting to hurl these days.
I glance to my side, at first seeing nothing too odd. Upon a double-take, however, I could swear I see Guy and some other girl on a bench. He looks at her as intently as I wish I could look at you. She giggles and throws her arms around him, and he stares back with a grin and kisses her timidly, causing a light blush to them both.
Something swells inside me – anger and horror on your behalf. How could he betray you? How could he not realize what a great thing he has?
I want so badly just to walk over and slug him. To tell him I saw him and couldn't believe he would do something like that to you.
But I don't.
Instead I decide that my sudden urge to avoid you isn't a top priority. Before the object of my affection, you're still my best friend…you deserve to know. If Guy was going to treat you that way, he didn't deserve you. It just didn't make sense…but unless I'm sudden going crazy, I know what I saw. The hard part will be trying to tell you without you thinking I'm lying…
I don't even know where to start looking for you. You could be anywhere…well, not anywhere, I guess. I saw you less than an hour ago, so you couldn't have gone far, but that still doesn't narrow it down much.
Trying very hard not to look at Guy as I try to evaluate where you could have gone. Your dorm? Maybe.
I debate walking that way, but Guy starts to turn in my direction, so I panic and dash back into the boys' dorms. Not sure why, but it felt like the thing to do.
After briefly chastising myself for not casually walking to your dorm, pretending nothing was wrong, I start back for my room. Maybe Banksie would be gone and I would finally get the room to myself.
…Yeah right. Maybe when pigs fly…Banksie doesn't exactly have a thriving social life when it competes with school.
I purse my lips and round the corner when I bump into something, or rather someone, shaking me from my thoughts.
Meme- Hehehe. Yes, I was kind enough to break up Connie and Guy first this time. XD I figured we didn't need another druggie Guy on our hands. :giggles: Hehehe…though I must admit the RP is precious nonetheless. XD They just caused a dramatic uproar…heh. I miss them desperately, and yes, I know it's my fault. :nods: They're lucky I was nice to them here. Lol. Yes, Charlie, listen to Meme. XD Thanks for the review! ;)
Banksiesbabe99- :feels so happy after reading that review: XD I'm glad you liked Connie and Guy's nice breakup. The thought to make it angsty flitted through my mind, but then I decided to go against the norm and make it be mutual for once. Lol. Me, choosing nice over angsty…;) Hehehe…I think many people are guilty of writing Connie and Guy's angsty breakup. :dances for Charlie and Connie: Yay! Hehehe…I'm so glad to hear (read?) that it put you in a good mood! That puts ME into a good mood:) Lol…"subtly" "subtlety"…same difference. Actually, I just typed them both into Microsoft Word in order to write this reply, and both of them registered as correct, so maybe it has two spellings and you were right afterall! XD Thanks again for your never-ending support!
Stef- I'm so glad you liked their breakup. :) I felt that they needed a nice breakup since in the RPG, it was such a trainwreck. Lol. I'm glad you found it plausible. CHARLIE AND CONNIE TOTALLY DO ROCK THE WORLD! ;) Lol. Yay! I'm happy that you will be around. Lol. Rah for the poison!
NoLaBeLs- Thanks! I'm glad you enjoyed it:)
Katie- Hehe, you aren't COMPLETELY floored with surprise? ;) We are only addicted because Charlie and Connie is the OTP and they deserve to be loved. Lol. :giggles: I'm glad you liked it. And I'm glad you are amused! ;) Charlie and Connie's minds are interesting places. :P Thanks for the review, hon!
Tiff- Thanks! I'm glad you like it so far. :)
B- Thank you. :) Yep, now they can get down to business. Lol.
Punkteacher- Thank you; I'm glad that's an acceptable reason for them to break up. Lol.