Disclaimer: Must I define fanfiction? Samurai Deeper Kyo is not mine!

Starlight Lingers

Sakuya's Prayer

---

I gaze up at the stars, because their flickering light is the only connection I have left to you, my love. They are brighter tonight, closer than they have been in a long time, because there is no moon to outshine their fragile radiance. It reminds me of that other moonless night, when the starlight frosted the sakura petals…

Sayonara…

If you hate me, I will not blame you. I deserve all of your hate and none of your love - where can love exist, once it has been betrayed and cast aside? And betray you I did, turning my back on you and walking away, leaving you in the darkness. You might have believed I was angry with you. That can be no further from the truth. I smiled as I bid you farewell forever, but I only cried when you could not longer see. That is the truth, my love.

Sayonara…

Truth. So simple a word, and yet who can define it beyond all shadow of doubt? In truth, my love, I was afraid. I was afraid of what you had become, because now I was torn, and I did not know how to reach for you as I once did. I did not know how deeply you had hated yourself, and how much you only wanted to be free. And I was afraid, because I thought (knew) I was not strong enough to help you, too weak to break the chains that had settled around your very soul. You were in pain, and for all of my supposed, vaunted power, I did not have the strength to heal you.

Sayonara…

And so here I sit, looking up at the moonless sky, watching your star, helpless once more. I can only watch. I can only wait. I can only pray that one day you will find what you seek, and then… and what then? Do I hope against hope that some day we will be able to move past that moment, to forget that it ever happened? Will we be able to embrace the desperate, fleeting happiness we shared, only to have it wither and fade away? The past is dead, my love, and neither you nor I can reclaim it, no matter how vigilantly I watch, no matter how long I wait, no matter the number of prayers I whisper with tears burning tracks down my cheeks.

Sayonara…

My one, single word was my one, single betrayal, and yet it was enough to destroy everything we had, or could have had. I am sorry, I am sorry, and yet I know you can never forgive me, for I can never forgive myself. I offer my prayers, my hopes, my insignificant powers for you, my love, that someday, you will find your happiness.

Sayonara…

Memories linger like starlight on sakura, before they fade away.

---

Narrator here. I have been impressed with the quality of responses to my challenge so far - my hat's off to nekozuki1776, luna-magic-2005, and foxmagicfor their fics. Read them if you haven't already.

As for this fic... erm, I've never tried to write from Sakuya's point of view, mainly because her character was so flat (by comparison) in the anime, and she hasn't been in the manga nearly enough for me to get a feel for her character. She seems interesting enough, so I hope there's so real chracter development on her part further down the road!

Salute!