By: Bomb-O-Maniac

Disclaimer: I don't own yu yu hakusho -

'Now you see me, now you don't! Tee hee!'

'Peek-a-boo! Where'd he go!'

'Ahh! What a cute little boy!' -cuddle cuddle-

Is that what you see me as?

A cute little boy?

Something to be cuddled and cajoled? Something so delicate and fragile that you feel the need to protect me always?

God, who the hell do you think you are woman? My mother? My mother died thousands of years ago! Get your dirty filthy ninjen hands off me!

Ah, for cryin' out loud - I'M A REALLY BIG BAD AND MEAN DEMON YOU BAKA OONA! CAN'T YOU SEE THAT I'M GOING TO EAT YOU SOMEDAY RELATIVLY SOON!

Granted that that day may come in about 10-11 years give or take a few…

BUT I'M STILL GUNNA EAT YOUR SORRY HUMAN ASS!

"Hmm hmm humm…"

What are you doing now? Hey, get that away from me - stop! NO! IT BURNS! DAMN YOU EVIL PURPLE FEIND!

-bop-squeak-

"Hmm… I guess he doesn't seem to like barney much, I thought all kids loved him…"

DAMN WOMAN! ARE YOU TRYING TO KILL ME!

Scratch that… You ARE trying to kill me aren't you? I mean, you stick this goopy icky green mush in my mouth, feed me this disgustingly disgusting pale… GOOP, for lack of better word that I, the great Youko Kurama, can't think of at the moment…

…

What are you doing? Just what the hell are you doing?

… are you…

Burping Me?

"BUUUUUUUUUUUURP!"

Hey, that felt Goooooooood… If I could purr - that would be a purr-able thing to purr to.

Eh ?

WHAT THEY HELL AM I SAYING! ANYTHING YOU PUNY HUMAN CAN SAY OR DO CAN MAKE ME PUR !

Purr? The hell ! I'm not a fucking cat! DAMN HUMAN! YOU'RE SCREWING WITH MY GRAPS ON REALITY! STOOOOP IIIIT!

"My, my, what a big stink… I wonder where that came from…"

-sniff sniff-

Are you some kind of DOG oona! You don't sniff there!

"Oh dear, looks like someone needs a change! Tee hee!"

What the!

ARGH! GOD DAMN IT OONA! DON'T DO THAT! THAT'S UNCALLED FO-

STOOOOOOOOOP! STOP THIS! I COMMAND YOU! THIS IS COMPLETELY UNCALLED FOR! CHILD MOLESTOR! OH THE INJUSTICE OF IT ALL!

…Not that I don't enjoy the touch of a good woman -

BUT THIS IS JUST WRONG!

"Do be a good boy and hold still, please Shuichi."

I REFUSE! YOU CAN'T TELL ME WHAT TO DO WENCH!

I'M THE GREAT YOUKO KURAMA! YOU CAN'T TOUCH ME LIKE THIS - THIS IS SO WRONG! WRONG WRONG WRONG - and did I mention WRONG!

I swear, over my tails, that if you don't stop touching me - you're gunna get it! I can't stop it! You've been warned!

"Wow, what a big mess you made…"

-twitch-

What the hell is wrong with you! AREN'T YOU AWARE OF YOUR IMPENDING DOOM? ESPECIALLY WHEN YOU'RE MESSING WITH IT!

"-sigh- I wish you would hold still…"

Heh, you have been warned puny human! My weapon is here! PREPARE FOR YOUR -

"SHUICHI! That was uncalled for! You just don't go around peeing on people!" SIGH "Though, I guess you're a bit young… you have no control…"

Touché -

BUT I WAS INCONTROL OF THAT ONE! HAHAHAHAHAHAAA !

Eh!

WHY THE HELL ARE YOU STILL FONDLING ME WOMAN! DON'T MAKE ME USE MY SECRET AND MOST ULTIMATE WEAPON ON YOU!

You'd think someone in a position such as yours would heed my warning! What are you! DEAF!

"Laa di daa…"

FINE! DON'T SAY I DIDN'T WARN YOU!

It was a fine and sunny afternoon in the suburbs of Mushiyori city. The home of many peaceful people, plants, and animals. It was the closest thing to a modern paradise as you could get on this vile and twisted planet we homo sapiens call earth.

"!"

Or at least, it was…

Authors Notes: BWAHAHAAA!

I love this fic… XDDDDD This is the result of wanting to write a serious story but getting something completely random instead. OH WELL!

If you couldn't guess, it was Youko Kurama's view on being a baby in Shiori's hands… Obviously not a very happy little bugger ain't he? MWAH!

Sayonara,

Bomb-O-Maniac