Finding the Truth, a Psi Factor fanfic

Lindsay looked at sleeping Connor. The girl's dark hair shone in the dark and a tear fell on Lindsay's cheek. In few hours, her little girl, who wasn't so little anymore will be going to Russia. Lindsay tried to talk her out of it, but Connor who was fascinated by a dangerous parasite that her father contracted while visiting there, wouldn't listen to her. Since she heard about her father's death, she wanted to research it. No matter how many times Lindsay told her that it was dangerous and unnecessary, Connor insisted that she needed to solve the mystery that surrounded her father's death.

It was early in the morning when Connor's plane landed in a small airport next to Archangelsk. A group of Russian scientists already waited for her. Most of them couldn't speak English; therefore Connor couldn't understand what they said. Although she couldn't really communicate with them and that made them extremely not useful, she enjoyed being with them and exploring the Russian culture. One of them, Mishinka seemed to be attracted to her, but she ignored him. She didn't come to Russia to look for a husband, but to find out more about her father's death. As a child, she heard stories about Connor Doyle from her mother. And she was fascinated by those stories. When her mother told her about the creatures that killed him, she couldn't think of him as anything else but a hero. She never knew him, but she was proud to be his daughter. She hoped that one day she'll make him as proud as he made her. Now, she looked at the dark sky and knew that wherever her father was, he was watching her and loving her.

"Daddy," She whispered. "Let me make you proud of me. I want to be like you." A snowflake fell to the ground, followed by millions of others. In few minutes, snow covered the earth completely. "Is this a sign from you, daddy? Is this a sign that you miss me? That you wish you were here to see me grow up?" A tear fell on her face. Then she heard a loud noise and Mishinka came running and dropped her to the ground.

"You'll get cold!" he laughed. By the smell of his breath, she knew he was drunk.

"Mishinka, I want to be alone. Can you please go somewhere else?" She asked. He threw a snowball at her. The snowball hit her face and she felt the cool snow falling from her face to her neck and wetting her shirt as it melted.

"You cannot be alone in such a beautiful night. Come dance with me!" He pulled her over and held her tight to his body. She tried to push him away, but he was stronger than her. "You know… I've been chasing you like crazy. You are very attractive girl." He whispered into her ear.

"Mishinka, please let go of me. I don't think it's appropriate." She said.

"Let go of you? Why would I do such thing?" She felt his hand touching her right breast.

"Mishinka, I don't feel good. Please leave me alone." She tried to push him away again, not successfully.

"Mishinka will make you feel good. You trust Mishinka, right?"

"Not really. Please let me go." She said. His hand quickly slipped under her shirt and did its way to her breast once again. A scary thought went through her mind and she pushed him away and started running away from there.

"You'll be mine, bitch! I'll have you!" She heard his voice and started running even faster. Tears streamed down her face and snow wetted her shirt completely. She ran until she couldn't breathe anymore and had to stop. Everything around her was covered with snow and she had no idea where she was and for how long she ran.

She felt someone carrying her away from where she was lying, but she was so tired and her body was frozen that she didn't care. She heard voices and felt warm water on her skin, but couldn't react.

When she could finally open her eyes, she found herself in a room she didn't recognize. It was dark and she couldn't see or hear anything. Where was she? Is she far from Mishinka? She got up and went out of the room. It was dark everywhere and she bumped into an open door and yelled in pain. She heard a noise behind her and turned around. A young woman who didn't look much older than her stood there. She said something in Russian that Connor didn't understand and then an older woman appeared.

"Who are you? Where am I?" Connor asked.

"You are safe. We won't hurt you." The young woman said. "I am Alexandra and this is my mother, Olga."

"I am Connor. Can you please tell me where I am?"

"You're in our house. We found you on our back yard few days ago, you were almost frozen." Alexandra said. "We brought you here and took are of you."

"Thank you. I'm sorry I acted so rudely. I was scared." Connor felt guilty. Those women probably took a good care of her and she yelled at them this way. She felt so ashamed. Alexandra smiled.

"Are you hungry?" Alexandra asked. Connor nodded. "Come with me. I'll give you some soup. My mother made it. She's a good cook." Alexandra led her to the kitchen and put a bowl full of hot soup in front of her. Connor ate it quickly.

"How can I thank you? You saved my life."

"Don't thank us. God is the one who saved you." Connor smiled. She didn't believe in God, but nodded.

"I'll pray tonight and thank him for everything." It seemed that Alexandra was satisfied with Connor's answer. They talked some more and Connor told her about her father.

"I heard about this. It happened 18 years ago. I was just a baby then, but I read about that in a newspaper. There's a rumor that says that the man who died in the explosion isn't really dead. The rumor says that the police arrested him and he's still in jail." Alexandra said.

"Do you know where this jail is?" Connor asked.

"No one really knows. It's a rumor, but the closest jail is in Archangelsk. You can go and look for him there."

"Will you come with me and show me where it is?" Connor asked. Alexandra nodded. Don't worry, daddy. I'll find you soon. She thought.

"There is no Connor Doyle in this jail." Connor was told at the Archangelsk jail. She didn't really expect him to be there. She needed some more information about the rumor. Alexandra was obviously too young and had more important things to do than caring about some American scientist that disappeared or died in an explosion 18 years ago. But where could she find more information? She needed to leave Archangelsk and go to the plant where her father died. There she'll be able to find more information.

"Be careful." Alexandra said on the next morning when they stood in the train station.

"I will. And I promise to come and visit you before I go back to America." Connor said. Alexandra hugged her.

"You are very nice, Connor." She said. Connor smiled at her and went on the train. She found her seat and then opened the window and waved Alexandra.

She tried to read a book as the train did its way out of Archangelsk, but the book was boring. She looked at an old man sat next to her and read an English newspaper. His eyes were blue his hair was gray and white. His face was wrinkled and he was very concentrated in the news. Suddenly he looked at her and said something in Russian.

"I'm sorry. I don't speak Russian." Connor replied.

"Ah, you're American!" The man looked excited. Connor Nodded.

"I'm Connor Doyle." She shook his hand. He looked at her for few seconds and then back at the newspaper.

"I'm David Rosemount." He said. "I'm American too, even though I haven't been there for almost 18 years."

"Why?" Connor couldn't help but asking that.

"I was sent here during my work at a private organization… I loved it here and I left my job and stayed. I married a woman and I have three children. The oldest is 17. What a young woman like you doing here on her own?"

"I came to look for information about my father. He was a scientist who died in a huge explosion in a plant next to Archangelsk." David nodded as if he knew the story.

"I heard about it. Actually I am going there too. I'm working in that plant." He said.

"You are?" Connor looked at him with shock. What could be better now than a man who worked in the plant where her father died and knew English? "Will you be able to get me the history of that plant?"

"I can try. Where are you staying?" His eyes were soft and he reminded her of her mother's colleague, Anton Hendricks, who died five years earlier.

"I don't know yet." Connor said.

"Listen, why don't you come to my house? Be my guest." Connor nodded.

The information David gave her was valuable. Most of the information was destroyed in the explosion, therefore most of the information started with the explosion and the searching for her father's body. She found out that a dead creature was found there, but no human bones or bodies. Could it be that her father was alive? Was it possible that he was saved somehow? Could he be living somewhere in Russia? Could David Rosemount be her father? After all her father was sent to Russia 18 years ago and never came back to America, just like David. He also had blue eyes and spoke Russian and English. But if he was her father, wouldn't he tell her? Wouldn't he come back to her mother? Could it be that her father cheated her mother and married a Russian woman? But why? Why would such a hero do that to her beautiful and talented mother? The mother that left her workplace so Connor would have a stable life… The sweetest person she has ever known. All the day long she wanted to find answers, but couldn't ask David. He was so nice to her, how could she ask him such hurtful questions? What if it wasn't true and her father did die? She couldn't do that to David. Maybe she should go back to America. Maybe the truth was too tough for her to deal with. But why did she come all this way? She wanted to find the truth. She couldn't let go now. Her father needed her to uncover the truth, to reveal what remained a secret until now, to remember him and know him better. Fascinating as her mother stories could be, the truth is the only thing that could help her know him better. Who are you Connor Doyle, who is your father? That was why she came all this way. That was the reason.

David's wife and kids accepted her very nicely. The oldest, Boris, was fascinated with her stories about America and wanted to go and study there when he finishes school. The second, Maria, was 12 years old told her about her friends in school and about the teachers. The youngest, Anna, was 6 years old and wanted Connor to tell her stories about princesses and knights that saved them from huge and scary dragons. David's wife, Sophia also seemed to like her, even though she didn't speak English and couldn't tell Connor that. The only thing that seemed to be wrong was David, who tried to ignore her all the time.

"I need to talk with you." She said to him one evening. He looked at her strangely, but nodded. "Well… it's kinda hard to say… but have you ever heard about my father?" David seemed to be thinking about something for few seconds.

"I did, for a matter of fact." He replied.

"You know more about him than you tell, don't you?" Connor felt like a character from a movie when she said that, but she had to ask it. He nodded. "Are you my father? Are you Connor Doyle?"

"I was afraid you might think this way." He said. "But I'm not your father. I was his colleague from the O.S.I.R. I was sent here after your father died to investigate his death."

"Why didn't you tell me that?" Connor was shocked.

"I just didn't know how. You see, I believe that your father may be living somewhere in Russia. His body was never found and he may have escaped the plant before it exploded."

"That's what I thought, but where can he be?"

"I have every reason to believe that he's in jail." David said.

"Why is that?" Connor asked. Could the rumor be true?

"The Russian authorities worked with the O.S.I.R. at the same time. The man that supervised your father, Frank Elsinger, was corrupted and he must have got lots of money from the Russian government if he succeeded to kill the creature without anyone knowing. Your father's team was one of the best teams the O.S.I.R. has. When your father realized that Elsinger didn't tell him all of the details of the case he got angry and Elsinger must have made an arrangement with the Russian government and they arrested your father and said that he was dead."

"So if my father is not really dead, where is he?" Connor asked.

"That's the problem. For 18 years I traveled all over the country and tried to get information about the government most secure prisons." David said. "There are two prisons where he could be; one is fourteen kilometers away from Archangelsk, that's why I'm here."

"And what about the other?"

"I've tried the other one. For seven years I've been a prisoner there and haven't seen him once. He must be in the other one."

"Can I help you?" Connor asked.

"I'm sorry, Connor. This is too dangerous. You can stay here and I'll give you all the information needed. You'll have to continue looking for information about the jail. I've heard that you're a smart girl. I know you can do it successfully. Just like your parents."

"How did you hear about me, if I may ask?" Connor asked.

"Elsinger was crazy and your mother knew it. Connor's team was very good and the smartest people worked there. After your father disappeared, they all knew that Elsinger was behind it, therefore when your mother decided to quit, we had to make sure that the two of you are safe. The O.S.I.R. followed you everywhere you went and they learned a lot about you."

"Did my mother know about it?" David nodded.

"She wanted to do anything to make sure that you were safe, that Elsinger doesn't follow you anywhere and tries to kill you."

"Are they still following me?" Connor grinned.

"I don't think so. Elsinger died four years ago." David was serious. "I was told that you're brilliant, a good student, an active girl and very popular. Am I right?" Connor nodded. "Your father would be proud of you, for sure. Maybe he'll even have a chance to tell you that."

"I wish…" Connor stared at the wall. "How long do you think it may take until you'll find him?"

"I don't know. It can take me few months or in the worst case, another seven years." David said. "But I'll find him for you, Connor. You deserve to have a father like him and he deserves to have a daughter like you."

"One last thing," Connor said. "You knew I was coming here, right? When you met me, you knew who I am." David laughed and nodded.

"You are smart, I can see. One day you'll be famous." He caressed her hair. "Go to sleep now. Tomorrow I'll teach you everything you need to know."

The first sunrays woke Connor up. She got up and went to take a shower. She needed to wait for the mailman, like she did every morning. It has been seven months since David became a prisoner and he wrote to her everyday about the life there. He gave her some information about the people that could be her father and she had to look for information and send it back to him. Sophia, who wasn't really David's wife, but a local woman who rented rooms in her house so she can feed her children and was paid extra money if she pretended to be his wife, was still asleep. Connor slept in Maria's room and therefore didn't need to pay. She did help Sophia with the house works, so she could pay her phone calls to the states and the connection to the internet. Most of the time, she was working for Sophia and for David, but when she wasn't, she enjoyed painting and writing. She had planned on taking the day off, so she can go and visit David, but needed to wait for his letter. If he decided that it wasn't safe for her, she'd have to stay at Sophia's home and help her with the house works and the kids. Now she stood outside the house and waited for Vladimir, the mailman, like she did every morning. The air was cold and the sky was bright. The snow on the ground started to melt and some birds sat on a tree and sang. Spring was coming and with it, her 19th birthday. The mailman walked down the road where Connor was standing.

"Good morning." She said to him. He smiled and replied in Russian. He gave her the mail and she smiled and thanked him as he started going away. He turned around and smiled back at her. She laughed. He wasn't much older than her and already working for living, but seemed to like what he did. She looked over the mail. Two envelopes were for her and four others for Sophia. She came back into the house and opened the first envelope. It was a letter from her mother and she sent her a birthday card. Connor smiled while reading it. Her mother was so far away from her, but somehow, she still knew how Connor felt about being alone in her birthday and how to make her feel better. 'Soon you'll be here again, Connor, and until then, I'll think of you every night and hope that you're safe.' That was the last line in Lindsay's card. Her mother must have been so lonely while she was gone and Connor felt sad for her. Then she opened the second letter.

“Dear Connor,

It is very hard for me to tell you what I have to say. No words can describe what I felt when I heard that I have a daughter and that you’re here, in Russia. For years, I've been sitting in prison and wondering if Lindsay was safe and if she was happy. I couldn't write or call, because I was afraid that if I will, it may put her in a great danger. Many years ago, I contracted a deadly virus during a mission in a power plant near Archangelsk. When I realized that I wasn’t going to get out of the plant alive, I sent my team outside. I exploded the plant and blacked out. When I woke up, three days later, I found out that I was in a hospital and that somehow, the doctors were able to kill the virus and that I'm about to go to jail for few months. Only that the months became years and I was told not to contact your mother or else the she will be killed. I was so afraid for her, so I did what they told me. When David came here, I was told that he didn’t know Russian and that I needed to help him and he told me all I needed to know. He told me about you and said that you are smart and beautiful. Even though we've never met, I feel like I know you for years. I wish we could see each other soon, but you cannot come here. It is not safe right now. David and I talked and decided that it would be the best if you came back to the States. I promise you that in few months I'll be out of here and I'll come back. Tell your mother about this letter and tell her that after all of these years, I still love her. I'm glad to know that you are safe. I love you, Connor Doyle and I'm proud to be your father. Please wait until David comes back and then go back to the States.

Love,

Your father, Connor Doyle”'

Tears rolled on Connor's face as she read the letter. Her father was alive. After all these years, she has found him.

"Daddy," She whispered. "I love you too."

Lindsay waited at the airport. She didn't know why Connor sounded so weird on the phone, but she had a good feeling about it. After all, her daughter was coming back after eight months they haven't seen each other. When a voice announced that Connor's flight had landed, Lindsay wanted to cry. A long time ago, another Connor went to Russia and never came back. This time it was different. She looked around her nervously and then she saw Connor coming over.

"Mom," Connor hugged her mother. "I missed you so much." She cried. Lindsay couldn't react. She was too excited and happy.

"Connor," was all she could say. They stood there for an hour and couldn't move away from each other until Connor pulled away from Lindsay and took her hand.

"Come on, Mom. Let's go home. There's a lot I need to tell you." Connor drove home, since her mother didn't seem capable of doing it at that time. All the way, her mother stared at her and looked lost in thoughts and Connor decided not to bother her until they arrive. She knew that her mother was thinking about her father and Connor was thinking about him too. Did he have enough clothes? Was he getting enough food? Was he healthy? Did he think about her too? In few weeks, he'll be back with them and everything will be okay again. They'll make the happiest family ever existed and they'll never be parted again. She's never seen him, but she could imagine how he looked. He was 57, which meant that he surely didn't look like he did 19 years ago, but somehow she felt that he didn't change much. She pulled in the driveway and they went out of the car. They entered the house and she could immediately see that it was renovated. She smiled, knowing that her room was probably the same as it was before she left. "Mom, we need to talk." Connor took Lindsay's hand and led her to the living room. They sat down and Connor told her everything that happened in Russia. To her surprise, Lindsay sat there and listened without crying and when Connor finished telling her everything, she hugged her.

"You're a good girl, Connor. I'm sure he's proud of you and so am I." Lindsay whispered in her ear. "Thank you. I'll never be able to tell you how much I appreciate what you've done for me and him and I'm sure that he feels the same way." Connor smiled. If her mother was happy, it made her happy. It made her even happier to know that she was the cause of it.

The next few weeks passed very slowly and were very busy for Connor who started studying in university had a lot of work to do. She decided to learn Art, even though Lindsay thought that she should have taken a useful subject. Connor refused. She knew that her mother wanted her to become a part of the O.S.I.R., but Connor had enough of it in Russia. She wanted to stay in one place and open a gallery where she could present her work and maybe some day even to become a famous artist. She was also writing a book that she planned on publishing. In the end of these few weeks, Connor came back home from school for the weekend. She wanted to meet her father, who was arriving from Russia. In the beginning, she didn't recognize him. He looked too young to be her father and she would expect him to look even older after what he's been through, but he didn't look old at all. He had blue eyes, just like hers and his hair was black and gray. He was tall and thin and looked very muscular. When he hugged her, she couldn't move her hands to hug him back. He was so different than she imagined and it scared her. Her mother behaved as if they never parted and they talked freely about the old times when they just married and about their friends at the time. Connor looked at them and wanted to cry. Couldn't they see that they weren't young anymore and that what happened 19 years ago couldn't be brought back? But what right did she have to criticize them? And what right did she have to feel this way? Did she know anything about him? About them? After all, she's never had a father before. In the end of the weekend, she packed her things and went back to school with the intention of staying there until Christmas. She didn't reply their emails and didn't answer their calls and tried to pretend that she didn't have parents at all. She started dating Harry, a young chemistry student who was very popular. She thought that maybe this way, it would be easier to forget, but it made it even harder when Harry kept asking her about her family and wanted to know if he could meet her father one day. She broke up with him and decided not to date any future scientist again. One day her parents called and asked her to come home as soon as she could because they had something to tell her. She tried to tell them that she was in the middle of exams, which was a lie and that she won't be able to come back until Christmas, but the insisted that they had a very important thing to tell her and she agreed to come home for the weekend.

"We know it is hard for you to accept the new situation. We can't even imagine what it feels like to live without a father for 19 years and suddenly he comes back." Lindsay said. "We don't want you to feel this way, Connor. Tell us how to make it better for you."

"Nothing. I'm fine and I have no idea what you're talking about. I love you, but I really need to go back to school. I have so much to do…" She couldn't tell them the truth. She had never lied to her mother before, but now it was necessary. If they were happy, she needed to be happy too and if she couldn't be, she needed to pretend she's happy. She had no right to judge them or tell them what to do.

"Connor," Her father looked at her.

"We can't help you if you don't want to tell us how." Lindsay said.

"Jesus! You talk like I'm a drug addict! Everything is okay with me and all I need is some time to finish my work!" Connor yelled.

"Then why are you yelling at us if everything is so good?" Lindsay asked.

"I'm going back. Please don't call me or write to me until you're normal." With these words she went out of the house and drove away from there. For few weeks she felt guilty. She didn't mean to yell at them and act so rudely, but she couldn't be with them. She envied that they had such a great love and that she wasn't a part of it. But after her mother sacrificed everything she had just to give her good and stable life, did she have a right to act like that? She loved her mother, but as much as she tried to love her father, it was too hard. He wasn't hers. He belonged to Lindsay and she had no room in this relationship. He claimed to love her and be proud of her, but could it be that he felt the same way she felt? She tried to remember the time when he was her hero. She admired him so much as a kid and as a teenager, but now he was a stranger that took her mother away from her in the time she needed her the most.

Christmas was very lonely for her. Lindsay and Connor sent her gifts and said that she could come home anytime if she wanted, but she gave her presents to a poor family that could use whatever they sent her better than she could. She was the only student who stayed in school during the winter and the only thing she could do in her free time was painting. She painted her anger and disappointment and sent the painting to her parents as a Christmas present. She hoped that they were having miserable time, like she was having and knew that her painting would tell them that she wasn't ready to come back home and face the situation. She sat in her room and tried to read an extremely boring book when the phone rang. She picked it up.

"Connor?" She heard Lindsay's voice. She didn't reply. "Connor, are you there?" Connor felt tears rolling down her face, but still didn't say anything. "Connor, if you're even listening, I just wanted to tell you that I love you and miss you and want you to come back home for the holiday. I know you have the next two weeks off and… we got your painting." Lindsay's voice was soft. "It was great. You'll be a great artist one day. Connor, if you're still there, please say something."

"I have nothing to say. Look at the painting. Everything that has to be said is in it." Connor hanged up the phone. Again, she felt sorry for her rudeness, but it was too late to be sorry. She went to sleep. That was the only thing that could make her forget.

When school reopened, Connor was too busy for everything, including friends. She was at the top of her classes and worked hard to stay there. Her parents didn't call her again and didn't send her letters. When spring came, they sent her a birthday present which she burned. She kept writing and painting and published a short story in the newspaper and they liked it so much that they gave her a weekly column. They paid her good money for that, which she decided to save for the gallery she wanted to open. She was glad that her dream was coming true and she wished she could share it with her mother. One night she decided to call her and tell her, but they weren't at home and she reached the answer machine. She dialed again.

"You reached the Doyle family. Please leave us a message and we'll contact you as soon as possible…" It was her own voice and she was glad to know that her parents didn't change it. She hanged up the phone. Maybe it was better that no one answered. But she still felt like sharing it with her mother and in the following night, she called again. This time her mother answered.

"Hello," Connor was glad to hear her voice but couldn't reply. "Who is it?" Connor hanged up. She called again on the following night. Her mother answered again. It took Connor few minutes to reply.

"Mom,"

"Connor, is everything okay?" Lindsay could hear Connor's cry. "Connor, honey, are you okay? Why are you crying?"

"I'm fine… It's nothing…" Connor replied. "I just wanted to say hi."

"Are you sure everything okay?" Lindsay asked.

"I'm fine, mom. I'm just… I wanted to say I'm sorry. I acted very badly and I was mean to you. Please forgive me."

"No, Connor, that's okay. Don't cry because of this. We understand what you feel and we respect it." Lindsay said.

"I was rude and I hurt you. I had no right to do that." Connor said.

"Listen, Connor, why don't you come home? We'll talk about it then?" Lindsay suggested.

"Well, I can't… I have a lot of work and… I've also got a job. I'm a writer for the local newspaper." Connor wasn't sure how her mother was going to react.

"I'm proud of you, Connor. Have a good luck and call us when you can, okay?" Lindsay asked. "I love you."

"I love you too, mommy." Connor said and hanged up the phone. It felt better now. She felt better. She wasn't angry anymore and she promised herself to come home on her first vacation.

The party was a great success and everyone seemed to enjoy. Connor looked at her parents who looked so glamorous together and smiled. They were happy together and she was happy for them.

"Hello, girl." Martin, her boyfriend came over with two glasses full of champagne and handed one to her. She kissed him and then took a sip of her champagne. "Did I ever tell you how beautiful you are?" He wrapped his arm around her waist and pulled her closer to him. She laughed.

"Every day since the day we met." She replied.

"Well, one more time can't hurt." Martin smiled. Connor nodded.

"Connor, I think it's time for you to say few words to the guests." James, her publisher said. Connor nodded and Martin unwillingly let go of her. "Connor would like to say few words." James announced and everyone turned around and looked at her.

"First, I want to welcome all of you. It is great to see that so many people here liked my book and were impressed of my writing." Connor started. "I want to read you the dedication in this book." James handed her the book and she opened it. "To my father, Connor Doyle, who inspired me in the writing of this book and my mother who did her best to give me everything she could. I'm proud of you and adore you. This book will tell the future generations our story long after we all be gone." She smiled at her parents. "My parents and I came a long way, but we've made it. I want to thank them about everything they've done for me. Mom, Dad, I love you." Everyone clapped and Connor looked at her parents and smiled. They came over and hugged her.

"We're so proud of you, Connor." Her father said. "You are the best daughter I could ask for." She smiled. They had a lot to deal with in the past, but it was all gone now. Connor accepted them and they accepted her. She was happy for their happiness and proud of them. After all, they were a family and that's what families are supposed to do. Isn't it?

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