Disclaimer: I only own my plot and character but nothing of J.K Rowling's is mine.

A/N: For you, steph! changed last name for security obviously lol. ANother chap on it's way a lil after this. I already have a plan for chap 3.

Make A Baby

So utterly fabuloso! Draco, my main squeeze, and I have been assigned the Greatest Project on the Face of the Earth! For Defense Against the Dark Arts, we have to take a little egg, draw a face on it, and protect it from all evil... We have to pretend the egg is our baby!

Double droolness...

I'm not sure I understand why we have to do this project, or what it has to do with Defense Class, but I'm as happy as ...well, me!

"Let's name her Theresa.." I held the egg in my hand.

Draco looked at it with disgust, "I hate eggs.."

"It is not an egg!" I yelled, "It's a baby!"

"Well," Draco smiled, "Stop yelling around the baby."

I gave the egg a kiss on it's forehead...Or what you could consider a forehead.

"You're going to get salmonella if you keep putting your mouth all over that egg."

Laughing, I blurted, "But putting my mouth all over you won't."

Draco's eyes shot open in shock. Perfect. He asked, "Will you ever behave?"

"Not as long as I am who I am."

Gilderoy sockbrain walked around the room to check on our status. We had just finished wrapping a small blanket around the lower part of the egg when he reached us. At first, he said nothing and just watched us make a mini bed out of cardboard.

Then Lockhart finally spoke up, "You can use magic, you know."

I flashed an overly-happy smile at him, "We know that. We choose to do it our own way, thank you very much."

God, I hated that moronic teacher. After he walked away, I sneaked a kiss on Draco's cheek. We were such a perfect couple. Far better than that stupid Weasley and Granger. See, Draco and I were very intimate. Unafraid to show our public affection. He loved me for me, despite my tiny flaw of insanity. I loved him as well, even though he apparently didn't love our egg baby.

Next class was Potions with none other than Snippy Snape. I sat next to Draco and Goyle, with a few other friends behind us. Our egg baby was doing well, for she was sleeping. Little Theresa with her kind blue eyes...Well, I would imagine they were blue since Draco and I both had blue, and the only ways they would be different are from either a genetic thing or if I slept with another man. But that wouldn't happen considering I am not a slu-

"Ms. Franklin," Snape caught my attention, "Have you been paying attention at all?"

I suddenly gave an attitude, knowing I could get away with it. "Professor, I would appreciate it if you called me by my new last name. My baby, Theresa, should be raised knowing her father and I are very committed."

"Very well then," Snape sneered and asked, "What is your new last name?"

Draco shot me an odd glance, but then smiled.

I replied, "Malfoy."

"Alright," correcting himself, Snape said, "Ms. Malfoy, will you please pay more attention. I understand you have an egg to take care of, which is in my opinion, very rediculous, but it's time for Potions."

And Stephanie gets away with Snape once again. In total of this year, that leaves: Stephanie 10, Snape 1.

Being Slytherin is very awesome. End subject.

Draco and I decided that he would take the baby first as we parted. I had a flying class while he had to attend Charms. My day was progressing quite positively. The egg project was going well, and hopefully it would stay this way for the whole week. Now, if we had a real baby, things wouldn't be so peachy. A crying, hungry, wet, dirty, tired...cute, adorable, sweet, perfect, angelic, clean, sparkling baby is just what we needed! If we were only older, I would be begging Draco to make a baby with me. Hmm.. This gave me an idea. Perhaps I could talk Draco into 'adopting' a first year with me. We could teach the little bugger how this school runs, and make sure they don't get trampled by older people. Or, we could make sure they aren't brainwashed by Potter and his crew. Brilliant!

After my class, I met Draco in front of the Arithmancy classroom. He seemed very worried... And was eggless!

"Draco Cornelius Malfoy," I began outraged, "you had better tell me where our child is or I will break you!"

He raised an eyebrow, "My middle name isn't Cornelius."

"I know.." I said sweetly, "It just sounded nice." My outrageous-ness came back, "Now where's our baby?"

Draco frowned, "Someone took it. I was talking to Goyle and then the egg was gone, cardboard box and all."

"Ugh! You are a horrible father." I folded my arms and looked around. "So...what do we do now?"

Draco was suddenly laughing. He stared at something behind me. I turned around to see Goyle holding our baby.

"Oh!" I grunted and took Theresa from his hold, "You guys planned this! Horrible people. Goyle," I pushed on his shoulder, "you were going to be the Godfather."

"Sorry honey," sweetly, Draco appologized, "but you needed to be scared. This is a project to see what would happen if we had a real baby. What if it was kidnapped? You never know, so that's why we did it."

"Yeah right." A smile gradually formed on my face, "I still love you."

Goyle playfully slapped Draco on the back and entered the classroom. The bell rang, but I still gazed at my beloved boyfriend. He closed in on me and gave me a kiss. And without warning, he leaned over and kissed our egg baby on it's forehead.

As cute as it was, that didn't stop me from mumbling, "Bloody hypocrite."