|I Hate You, But I Love You
Author: Eternal Silence PM
There is a thin line between Love and Hate. In fact its so thin that at times one can not see it and resides on the line itself. And when that happens, well you can only imagine...Rated: Fiction K - English - Angst - Vicki - Words: 1,713 - Reviews: 8 - Favs: 6 - Follows: 1 - Published: 02-27-05 - Status: Complete - id: 2284537
|A+ A- Full 3/4 1/2 Expand Tighten|
Note: This story came to me when I thought of how Vicky acts like she hates Chip Skylark, yet she has all these posters in her room of him. Oh yeah, when I went to the mall on Friday, I went in this store called Icing and they played this song that reminded me so much of my story! Just thought I'd say that.
(Added Note: 4-29-05) Dang, now I gotta take out the lyrics Chip sings to Vicky! Well if any one reads this after the date above, where Chip says he'd never do such a thing he acually (in the origanal version) sung Vicky the bridge to "Obssesion" By Frankie J.
Dedication: To all that love the pairing of Vicky and Chip! So far I know of only Amanda/Artiste and Red Satin Black Silk. So it's dedicated to you two!
I Hate You, But I Love You
I toss and turn constantly in my bed, trying to find a comfortable position. It's no use though; I've been trying since 11:00. Insomnia just loved to mess with me.
Sighing heavily, I let my eyes open, and I take in the darkness around me. Raising my head, I shoot a glance at the alarm clock. The numbers 4:07 glow back at me in a neon green. I bare my teeth at it, as if I expect that to make the clock go faster.
I allow myself to fall back upon my pink pillows, as I sigh heavily. "Its four in the morning, and I still can't sleep." I mutter softly, and I believe I hear the song "Obsession" by Frankie J. How ironic for that song to be on now. It would make since though, since Tootie seems to be bothered by Insomnia as well. She says music helps her sleep.
Gradually the volume increases, and "Obsession" ends. Another song begins, and I almost want to scream. It's Chip Skylark. I grit my teeth, I hate the sound of his voice. It makes my blood boil. I clench my hands into fists as I look up at the ceiling. Chip's smiling face looks back at me.
'You'll make a great Mrs. Skylark, Mrs. Skylark.' Those horrid words enter my mind. That jerk lied to me, acted like he'd love to marry me. Than at the last minute the stupid guy from Chip's record company turns up and dumps all of Chip's bills on me. This angered me. I know Chip set the whole thing up. It was all just his idea of a sick practical joke.
I glare up at his face in my poster of him. Slowly, my frown fades away. He's so dreamy. Oh Chip, why do you have to be so fine? Why do you have to be so perfect and flawless? Wait, what am I saying? You're not perfect. You're not flawless. You're a jerk and I hate you.
I narrow my rose-colored eyes. "I hate you." I whisper fiercely as if the real Chip Skylark will hear me. He should know though, even though I highly doubt he cares. He hates me too.
I know because he wrote that stupid song, "Icky Vicky". He sung it at his stupid concert and humiliated me in front of millions of people. Breaking my heart just wasn't enough for him, I guess, he needed to step all over it too. He needed to give everyone something else to call me behind my back, something else to laugh at me about.
"You happy Chip? You succeeded in making my life even more miserable. You succeeded in being the very first guy to make Icky Vicky cry." I whisper, recalling the night of Chip's concert. The minute I'd gotten home, I'd ran up to my room and cried in till I drifted off to sleep.
The very next day my sister accidentally addressed me by Icky Vicky. However, instead of chasing her and making her pay, I burst into tears. It'd hurt so bad to recall the events of that previous night.
And the worst part of it all was that Chip didn't even know me. I mean it wouldn't have been so bad if someone like the Twerp a.k.a. Timmy Turner did it. Well technically, he doesn't know me either, but that's not the point. The point is that Chip Skylark's a jerk. He didn't know a thing about me and still he got up and said I was the lowest, meanest piece of trash on this planet.
He's such a jerk. Maybe he is a broke loser, but his record company probably spoils him rotten. And they allow him go around breaking the hearts of those who are most crazy about him.
I hate Chip Skylark with a passion, yet I still keep all my Chip merchandise. Posters with his face still hang from my walls and my ceiling. My "I Love Chip" shirt is still in my closet. I still have every CD the guy has ever made (exempting the latest one with "Icky Vicky" on it), and I still believe that he is the finest guy on the planet.
My Mom tells me I'm still in love with him, but why would I be in love with him? He broke my heart, he humiliated me in the worst kind of way, and he's a jerk. I'm not like my naïve little sister who likes guys who treat her like dirt. I can't love Chip, I just can't.
Yet, no matter how hard I try, I just can't get over that heartbreak. I was able to get over Winston Dunsworth in about a week, and with Ricky it took me a little longer, but I'm still over him. And I might've followed Ga! to his home country of Norwegia, but he no longer matters to me. However, to this day I am still very hurt by what Chip did to me.
Okay, maybe I am like Tootie. Crazy, naïve, and still in love with a guy who couldn't care less about me. Yeah, I admit it. I really do think I may be in love with Chip. It's so pathetic, but it's the truth. No matter what he did to me, no matter how much of a jerk he is, I still love him.
Slowly my vision begins to blur and I blink allowing the tears to roll down my cheeks. I sit myself up, not bothering to wipe the tears from my eyes, and I hug my legs to my chest.
I don't want to love him; I don't even want to like him. He hurt me so bad. He stole my heart and tore it apart, than he threw it upon the ground and stomped on it. Chip hates me, I know he does, and I just wish I could return that feeling.
Why can't I just hate him? What's wrong with me? Why must Tootie and I be cursed to love those who despise us? Why is Cupid playing with my heart, making me fall in love with all the wrong people?
I put my head in my hands as tears begin to rapidly pour from my eyes. Every time I take in a breath, my body shakes and I can't stop the tears from coming.
I don't want to love Chip Skylark anymore! I scream in my head. I don't want to think about him, and hurt because of it! I wish I could just hate him!
"Vicky?" A voice suddenly asks.
I jerk my head upwards. A dark figure stands in the doorway, and I can just barely make out their features. No way, it's him.
"What're you doing here?" I say fiercely. "How the hec did you get in?"
"I knocked and your mom answered the door. She was only half awake, so she let me in." Chip answered, entering the room.
"Get out of here!" I scream.
"No, I hate you!" I sob, my hands clenched into fists.
"Please Vicky, just let me explain." He tries, walking towards my bed.
"No!" I rise so that I may attack him, however, before I can move, Chip rushes over and grabs me into a tight embrace, pinning my arms to my side.
"Vicky just listen to me." He almost whispers. "I was thinking about you. I felt really bad about the whole Icky Vicky thing." Anger rises like fire in my chest at those vile words.
"No." I sob. "Get away from me!"
"I'm sorry Vicky." He says softly. His lips are pressed lightly on my ear, sending a tingle through my body. "I felt so guilty, I couldn't sleep. I had to come here and apologize." I let his words sink in, could he be telling the truth? "Has anyone ever told you Vicky, that you are a very pretty girl?"
Those words render me speechless. No one has ever told me that.
"I want to start over again Vicky. I want to forget about what happened before."
"No." I whisper, another tear rolling down my cheek. "Guys don't care about me. Besides, all I've ever gotten out of a relationship is a broken heart. And I don't want to hurt anymore."
"Its okay Vicky, you don't have to hurt anymore." Gently, Chip caresses my cheek with his hand. "I would never do such a thing."
Slowly I raise my head so that I may look into his eyes. They say they are the windows to the soul. I stare deep into those sky blue orbs and wonder, is this really the same jerk that broke my heart and humiliated me before millions? His eyes hold nothing more than remorse, pain, and honesty.
Though still afraid, I lay my head against his chest. We just stand there quietly, as he holds me gently.
And I wouldn't have it any other way.