(A/N: so anyway, it's kinda ridiculous how slowly I move. I wrote this chapter last year, but only finished revising it two days ago. Man, the back of my mind must be a scary place - hardly ever venture in there. Note to self: must not let stories fall back in the back of my mind once more. Well... there should be 2 or 3 chapters left in this story. I want to thank reviewers who've stayed faithful since the beginning and thanks to MaKira, ice-dwine, and Pollux Unbound for reviewing. Keeps me up D Especially since I've been busy. Growing up is a chore.

Chapter 7. Knowing

I was one lucky bastard. The guy who well… got the guy. Rukawa might be the most frigid ice block in the whole school, but no one could deny that he was also the hottest piece of ass.

After me, of course.

He opened up an unprecedented world for me – brand new possibilities that my being shit out of luck couldn’t ruin. Was it fate’s propensity to allow people a glimpse, a taste, a fleeting second of a dream? If so, then I’ve had my eyeful.

I wanted him and he wanted me, and what could be better than that? I was a walking cliché for all those damned chick flicks, but even that couldn’t wipe that self-satisfied smile off my angelic mug. While I could have any girl I wanted – they flocked and crawled towards me like pesky ants sniffing out a jar of honey – I was more than content with the prince that I’ve been gifted with.

Maybe I was tired of waking up next to some nameless bitch, her inky lashes splayed out like broken spider legs. Tired of another unimpressive and forgettable night.

(I want to add that fate had a funny way with things, but, years later, I’m still not laughing.

It’s so easy to blame it all on destiny, to justify what I’ve done as a human flaw, fetid, abominable, yet completely excusable. After all, didn’t Adam, the paradigm for all sinners, still receive mercy at the hands of God?)

“You have a habit of breaking free from reality, Sempai,” Rukawa once commented, supine and languid, as I ran my greedy fingers all over his hair and face. The grass tickled our bare legs, as the quiet solitude of the park offered shade and safety.

He paused and pursed those tempting lips, looking absolutely thoughtful and tempting.

“What goes on in your head?”

Leaning over mischievously, I lapped at the side of his face with intricate enamor and whispered in his ear.

“Sordid thoughts.”

He shivered, and I delighted in feeling him alive.

“About what?” His voice was husky.

“About this guy with the longest, sexiest legs ever on a human being…”

I felt him flushing, his pale skin heating against mine. Surprise, surprise: Rukawa was as shy as a chaste virgin.

Laughing loudly, I assured him I was only teasing. After all, I can’t exactly let him know what sordid thoughts I did let fester in my mind every time I saw an unexpected flash of skin, when I saw those blue eyes cooled down and heated, or when I felt his body, all hard muscle against mine.

“Hn.”

Drawing my height, I pulled him towards me and closed our distance.

“This is insane,” he half-heartedly protested. “We’re in public.”

“Fuck them.” So I kissed him. Deeply. Reveled in the insanity and submerged deeper and deeper, unable to stop.

I wished that time could have stood still forever.

“I suppose that there’s a lot of reason to celebrate, isn’t there?”

Kogure smiled at me the familiar and disarming smile of an old friend.

“Yeah. Who could’ve thought he’d start walking again?”

“It’s a good thing, right?”

I frowned. The way that he asked that question made my blood run cold. Like I would ever - -

Turning around, I tried to focus on something else. Sakuragi blowing hot air out of that shithole he calls a mouth, attempting to rile Rukawa. My fox ignoring him, just like the good boy that he way, making a point to stab Sakuragi’s toes with his crutches as he hobbled away. Akagi’s veins growing alarmingly pronounced. Several brave, new fangirls, their obsessive passions reignited, venturing back into the gym, straying along the doors and bleachers.

Rukawa caught me staring at him and gave me a wary smile.

My lips curled indulgently.

“My, my… would you look at that?”

Kogure talking again. Except I didn’t want to listen to him anymore. Lately, he’d switch back and forth from being the forthcoming and placating friend I knew him to be to a virtual stranger who implied more shit that I could stand.

Was I being paranoid? Kogure was Kogure. He wasn’t saying anything wrong, but each time he talked I felt that he was implicating me of something. It was an uncomfortable sensation.

Maybe Kogure was just bipolar.

Smiling quickly became a task. “Isn’t it a sight? Who knows… maybe one day he’ll be well enough to start playing basketball again.”

“Well…” Kogure appeared absorbed in his thoughts. “Rukawa is awfully resilient.”

“Damn right.”

(Ridiculous how I had been unable to keep a smidge of pride from trickling into my voice.)

“Though I’m not entirely sure you’d want him well enough to do that.”

He said it so quietly, so suddenly, so unrepentantly that I thought I had imagined it.

I was careful to keep my voice low. “What do you mean?”

He shrugged and bent down to pick up his equipment. Nodding goodbye, he left the gym and headed for the lockers.

Felt drums pounding as a wave of near-pain and near-relief assaulted me. How could he – how dare he - ?

I realized that I was tasting the bitter tang of bile.

I ran after him. When he came in sight, I forcedly grabbed his arm and pushed him into a locker. The loud clang of his flesh pounding against the metal door echoed ominously.

“How could you say that I don’t want Rukawa to play again? Basketball it’s – it’s his life! Do you think I have it in me to kill him? I would never – I would never – “

I could hardly pull the words out: I was so furious.

Kogure’s gaze met mine, frighteningly lucid. I felt sinful and naked under his eyes.

“Kill him?” he echoed, his voice thick and far-away sounding. “I don’t remember saying that you had any intention of killing him. Killing him? Why that’s utterly preposterous.”

“But you just accused me of - -“

“ – accuse you? Me? I’m your friend, Mitsui! I could never accuse you of anything.” For a moment Kogure sounded hysterical, then his voice turned into a soft and gentle murmur. “I would never do that. Not to you.”

“I don’t understand what you’re saying.”

“Ignore me.” He laughed weakly. “Sometimes I know too much, and sometimes I know too little. What do I know anyway? I never know enough. Besides, people never really expect me to say anything about it. I’m a friend. I keep secrets,” he babbled.

“Kogure?” I was worried. He sounded so somber and helpless.

He looked at me with frightened eyes before his knees buckled, sending him sinking into the floor.

“I’m not saying anything,” and turning away from me, a shadow fell upon his profile.

“I know you never mean to hurt anyone, Hisashi. You never mean to do it.”

He clutched hard unto my biceps, his fingernails digging painfuilly into my skin. “But have you realized just how capable you are?”

And then I understood.

Kogure knew.

(A/N: I wanted a holy crap moment - did I succeed? Anyway, if you read this, a review would be very gladly appreciated. I like knowing what readers think. How's it going so far?