Just so you guys know, there won’t be any swearing in here. Sorry, but I prefer not to swear. And there’ll be OOC-ness.

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The Black Knight was humming a little song while he laid in the forest. He survived by rolling around and eating bugs, birds, or people’s feet. You could tell from the amount of blood in the area. He sighed. “I can’t go on like…” He spat out a stinger. “…this!”

For some reason, Galahad walked by. “I’m not sure how I came back from the dead, but I’m happy!” He grinned and skipped over to the Black Knight. “Hi, Mr. Stump! I’m a pretty little girl! Will you play with me?”

The Black Knight just grinned evilly.

… … …

After a few moments of limb-tearing violence, the Black Knight was sporting Galahad’s limbs. “YES! FINALLY!” His legs jerked. “What?” The legs started skipping on their own. “STOP, YOU BLOODY LEGS!”

Galahad laughed like a little girl. “My legs are happy, Mr. Stump!” He then went on to hum a song he learned from a Bratz commercial.

“SHUT UP!” The Black Knight called. He took a sword and cut his limbs off. Both he and Galahad were again stumps. “How can you stand those things?” he asked.

“Silly Mr. Stump! They’re my happy-skippy-leg-friends!” Galahad giggled insanely and rolled away.

Next, Zoot walked by, not at all disturbed by Galahad’s arm-less, leg-less, body rolling off. She kicked the Black Knight. “Hey, punk, you got some gold?”

“Uh…”

“Hey, shaddup, yo!” She picked him up and shook him. Several gold pieces fell out of his pockets. Zoot was still shaking him, her arms not too far from the Black Knight’s face. He used this to his advantage.

… … …

Zoot’s limbs were of no more use than Galahad’s. The angry stump that was Zoot had her detached arms punching the Black Knight in the gut and she was kicking his butt. Plus, the layer of blood on the white nurse clothes were sickening to look at. He screamed. “WHY ARE YOU PUNCHING ME!”

“You took my limbs, yo!”

“WHY ARE YOU TALKING LIKE THAT!”

Zoot fell silent. “Um…YOU NEVER SAW ME!” She also rolled away, just in time to miss the violent act of the Black Knight cutting his new limbs off.

Finally, the French soldier appeared. He glanced at the Black Knight. “Well, ‘ello, English kniiiiiggit! ELECTRIC DONKEY BOTTOM-BITER!”

You have to know what happens next.

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Nobody’s really sure what happened after the Black Knight took the French soldier’s limbs. Some say that the Frenchman clamped onto the Black Knight’s head, and he tripped over the stumps of Galahad and Zoot. Some say the French knight cut the cheese, so the Black Knight ran away, and didn’t watch where ‘away’ was. Whatever happened, it’s certain that the Black Knight fell off a cliff.

He may have survived, but most think that after his limbs were cut, replaced, and cut again sixteen times, he didn’t have enough blood to survive the fall. Plus, the French army and Zoot’s friends attacked him once he reached the bottom of the cliff. Both Galahad and Zoot were taken to therapists. Now, they rest in insane asylums. They cracked up for no apparent reason, screaming about limbs. To stop them, they were given magnified Barbie doll limbs.

Now, they have tea parties with Napoleon and Elvis on February 42nd each year. And don’t get me started about the screeching monkey in Galahad’s shirt. It likes tuna. Where does it get tuna? Who knows.

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Boy, that last part was really insane. Please review!