The knife gleamed in the sunlight; bright and menacing. Tilting her head from side to side Sara tried to focus on the blade, but was finding it hard to because of the tears blurring her vision. Her face was red and blotchy, it was evident she had been crying for a long time. She straightened up pulling the knife towards herself.

"Do it" she whispered "just do it". She drew a deep breath in, all the time trying to push herself on. Grasping the knife in her right hand, before she could think properly, she brought it down onto her wrist pressing the blade down. She did not let herself exclaim aloud but kept it inside, only allowing herself to wince in pain. Slowly she pulled the blade off and examined her wrist; the knife had left nothing but a red mark. Screwing her face in annoyance, frustration and anger at herself she laid the sharp edge onto her skin once again, harder and harder. She pulled the knife upward to find what she had wanted; blood. Placing a finger on the cut she traced it, making it sting and hurt even more. She sat sniffling softly but made the mistake of glancing to her left; there lying on the table sat a pregnancy test with the simple word positive marked on it.

As she sat there confused and upset Grissom walked through the door. His alert CSI mind taking in the scene in one glance. He walked over to Sara and gently put his arms around her.

---

Two Months Earlier

Sara turned around, glancing at herself in the mirror, smiling in agreement at what she saw. 'I look good' she thought to herself. Her first date with a man who she had wanted to go out with for such a long time deserved a special outfit. So what if her 'special outfit' consisted of black tight fitting trousers, a purple blouse and black heeled boots. 'Catherine wouldn't think this very special, but then again Grissom wouldn't go for too dressy.' she smiled as she applied her makeup: lipstick, eyeshadow and mascarra. 'Not too much but just enough to look better than usual' she thought happily. Grissom was taking her too the Starlight Casino restaurant for their first date.

Half an hour later Sara was outside of the Starlight, she took a few nervous breaths before walking in through the doors.

"Reservation?" Asked the smartly dressed man at the counter.

Sara smiled "Gil Grissom".

The man looked down at his computer, "Second table on the right".

Sara thanked him and made her way to the table, looking up only in time to realize that Grissom was not alone but sitting at a table of forensic workers, including Sofia who happened to be seated next to him. Sara's smile faltered abruptly, she walked over to where Grissom was seated. 'What's going on' she found herself hopelessly thinking.

"Sara" Grissom said warmly pulling out a chair and waiting for her to sit down. Sara merely glanced down before saying as confidently as she could

"Grissom, could I talk to you?" He nodded "Privately!". Grissom gave her a curious look but said nothing as he got up and followed Sara outside. "What are they doing here?" she asked as soon as his shoes had touched the pavement. Grissom looked at her quizzically but said nothing. "Is this our date?" she persisted. The dawn of recognition passed over him as she said this.

"Oh Sara, I'm sorry but you must have misunderstood me. I invited you to a business lunch for all of the CSI lecturers. Since you have lectured, I thought you should come along."

Sara's expression quickly turned from anger, to disbelief then to anguish. How could she have been so stupid? He asked her if she wanted to go to lunch, not on a date. He probably was filling her in on the reason while she was daydreaming about the event. She had waited for this day for so many years, but instead it had never happened; it just wasn't supposed to be.

---

Sara had spent the last two days crying over her mistake. Locked up in her room and on 'sick' leave. She had to go to work today, she had to face Grissom and get over it. The nightshift went by in a haze, all that she knew was that every time Grissom looked at her, she looked away. She tried to avoid him, and for the first time in her life volunteered to do lab-work.

At two o'clock in the morning the lab was almost empty, the only one there was Greg preparing to leave for the crime-scene. He stopped at the lab door,

"Hey Sara, Grissom wants to see you in his office."

Sara looked up abruptly "Is Grissom still here?" she enquired the young CSI

"Yeah just came back from the scene" Greg turned to leave "Oh and better be careful he's not in a good mood."

"Why?" she asked

"For some strange reason he wasn't very happy with the fact that I was listening to my Discman while he was inside questioning the suspect."

Sara rolled her eyes "I wonder why?".

---

As Sara made her way to Grissom's office thoughts ran continually through her head, she had never known the walk to his office to be so long. 'Don't let him win' she told herself 'be defiant' Finally she reached the door with Gil Grissom written on it in bronze. Sara knocked.

"Come in" called Grissom's voice. Sara entered. The room was dark, only lit by a single lamp, Grissom stood up behind his desk. "Sara we need to talk". Before she could stop herself she began to speak.

"Grissom, I'm sorry, I thought you invited me as a date. It wasn't your fault I shouldn't have got carried away. It's just that I've always…liked….you". Grissom moved from behind his desk.

"I've been stupid Sara, I denied you till you looked me right in the face and told me. Deep down I always knew but chose to pretend I didn't." He moved closer "You were so happy three days ago, until you walked in and saw us." He was now a meter away "Three days ago was the first time I've seen you smile in along time" he touched her face "You're a nice girl Sara Sidle."

---

The kiss was one that she would remember forever, it was one of the most loving, and beautiful things she had ever received. She would never forget the realization of when she remembered who he was, and where they were; on the floor in his office. It was a whole two months later when they actually acknowledged what happened that day in his office.

---

Grissom held her as she sat crying. He didn't ask any questions for now, he decided he would wait till she was ready to talk. As calmly as he could, he took her hand and held it, careful not to touch the bloodied cuts. Sara put her head on his shoulder, leaking wet tears onto his polo shirt. He glanced around the room as she continued to sob, he glanced at the positive pregnancy test; his heart jolted in his chest. Without thinking he said aloud,

"This means that I'm the father." To his question came a quiet answer.

"Yes Grissom, yes you are."