Ghost Stories

By: Bomb-O-Maniac

Disclaimer: I don't own Naruto - I own their kids… this plot… and Hyou and everything else... AND MOONY-CHAN!
Genre: General, Humor, Angst, Mystery, Action/Adventure… I dunno
Rating: PG13

Summary: Iruka gets a new house. It's pretty cool (and old) - apart from the fact that it just so happens to be haunted. Not to mention that it attracts spooky things, boogie-men, and stalkers.

Brrrrrrrng.

Brrrrrrrng.

Brrrrrrrng.

Brrrrrrrng.

The knob for the water in the shower squeaked as it was turned. The water stopped running and a males voice was heard.

"Hold on a second!"

The bathroom door creaked open and a towel clad dolphin sensei raced towards the phone, nearly tripping over his cat in the process. Said cat meowed indignantly and jumped onto the back of a lone, lumpy couch in the middle of the living room.

Brrrrrrrng.

"Gotchya!" He cried as he dove for the phone and picked up the receiver.

"Hello?" he asked.

"Hello, Please buy our stuff. I live in a box. ... God I'm lonely…"

"…"

Iruka shook his head and hung the phone up. Readjusting the towel around his waist, he made his way back towards the shower.

Brrrrrrrng.

(HA! I lied...)With a sigh, the brown skinned man made his way back to the phone and picked it up.

"Hello?"

Nothing.

"Hell-?"

"AAAAAAAAHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH!"

"ACK!" Iruka jerked the phone away from his ear and slammed the receiver down to it's proper place. He stared wide eyed down at the phone.

"…!"

Moony-Chan (Irukas pet silver and black tom-cat) took this moment to jump onto his masters shoulder, careful not to sink his claws into the humans skin, and drape himself around his neck. Absently, Iruka reached up a hand to scratch the tom-cats ears to help calm himself. He was still staring at the phone. Finally, after a few more moments of silence, he slowly began to back away, turn around, and march towards the bathroom-

Brrrrrrrng.

"ARGH!"

Iruka (and his cat) stomped back over towards the phone. He picked up the phone.

"Hello?"

Nothing.

"Hellooooo?"

Nothing.

"Hell-"

"Help me." a small voice asked. Iruka couldn't tell what gender it was.

"Help me!" the small voice asked again. This time more urgently.

"Excuse me?"

"Help me!" the voice repeated. "Quickly! Before-!"

The line went dead. Slowly, confusedly, Iruka hung up the phone once again. He stared at it, deep in thought. Well, not really deep in thought… more along the lines of -

"Moony-Chan... what the hell was that…?"

Moony-Chan meowed a rather dramatic 'meow' in response to his question.

"You're absolutely right Moony-Chan… I should go finish my shower and then go to bed - completely ignoring everything that just went on…" Iruka answered the cat as he continued to stare at the phone as if it had just told him some sort of lame joke. He turned and began to make his way towards the bathroom.

Then, quite abruptly, he turned back around andpurposley walkedtowards the phone jack. Reaching down, he yanked the cord out of the wall and let it drop. He smiled to himself.

"All better!" he chirped. Standing up and straitening his towel once more - Iruka left to go finish his shower.

(Next Morning)-

"Who the hell are you calling a bitch! I am not a bitch!" yelled the peeved voice of the amazing Anko. "IRUKA! Tells this jerk that I'm not a bitch!"

Iruka, who had just trudged through the office door, turned to face his oldest friend. He gave her a tired, drowsy eyed stare.

"Anko," he said in a deadpan voice "You always have been, still are, and always will be a bitch." With that said, Iruka turned back the way he was previously facing, and began to trudge off towards the wondrous Mr. Coffee.

Anko stuck her tongue out and shot him the bird behind his back.

"Heh heh, Glad to know you caaaare!" she yelled after him. Iruka waved his hand lazily with out deterring from his course.

"You're welcome, Anko, oh dearest and bitchiest friend of mine." Anko grinned sadistically. She loved it when her friend was half asleep when he came to work. Though, below all that, the purple haired woman was worried when her dolphin friend didn't get enough sleep - or caffeine for his coffee addiction. If someone else hadn't noticed his out of character behavior when she did - she'd be making her way over to the dolphin just like his ex-student was right now.

"You all right sensei?" asked the blond jounin.

"I'm fine Naruto." Iruka yawned. "Just a bit sleepy is all."

"Rough night?"

"Yes…" Iruka muttered before gulping down a steaming cup of coffee. Then he saw the Kyuubi's look. Hechoked out his coffee. "You idiot! Not like that!" The dolphin smacked Naruto upside the head and glared at him.

"Then what did you mean sensei?" Naruto grinned widely and wiggling his eyebrows suggestivly. Iruka opened his mouth to say something but stopped. Instead, he gave Naruto his most condesending glare.

"You're getting the lowest ranking mission I can find today." He announced.

Naruto's jaw dropped to the ground.

"WHAT!"

"You heard me."

"BUT! You've got to me kidding me!"

"I kid you not."

"…"

"…"

"Damn you!" Naruto cried out. "I didn't do anything! Just because you're PMSing doesn't mean you have- OW! WATCH WERE YOU THROW THAT THING DAMN IT! OW! HEY!"

Iruka threw another kunai at Naruto.

"Fine - OW! - I'm leaving already old man - OW!" Naruto dived out the nearest window. Iruka looked out the window after him.

"I hope he hits his head on the ground…" he muttered and then gave a face splitting yawn.

Oh yes, Anko enjoyed it immensely when her friend was half asleep in the mornings.

Well, that was random and entertaining And i didn't even make it to a thousand words... damn... I wonder if I can think of a second chapter to this -bashes head-

MOONY-CHAN! -grin- so kawaii!

Reveiw and tell me what you think - and help me with idea's... and pairings... Just... reveiw if you want them O.o My throat hurts... damn...

Oh well, I'm off to work on another random story that I'll only be able to get the first chapter done before I get distracted by something else... Wow... alot of me stories seem to be Iruka-based to a ceratin degree... sheesh... Iruka whumping is so much fun XDDD

Bomb-O-Maniac