i keep your photograph i know it serves me well…

'cause i'm broken when i'm lonesome
and i don't feel light when you're gone away

-Seether

---

Try to Wish

Chapter Three : Broken

The mage must have been a strange sight, standing in a corridor far from his own bedroom, wearing nothing but his nightshirt and dressing gown. His hand lightly on the latch of a door he vaguely remembered enchanting to recognize him for late night visits to this room. The door gave way under the lightest of touches, opening silently into the room. The gentle scent of fabric soap drifted toward him as he stepped into the room. Moonlight shifted through the window and fell across the small photograph collection on the bedside table.

Clef picked up the nearest gilt frame and sank back onto the mattress. The photo Umi was shooting death glare at the photo him over the open book she was holding, all the while the photo him seemed to be fighting back laughter. Everyone else just stood looking completely confused. He never realized that she had kept this photograph. Then again it was taken only shortly before Umi had taken up almost permanent residence in his quarters. Thankfully Hikaru had wanted the water knight to open her gift next so the questions never came, and they were save in there secret life for the time being. It had been a rather innocent gift originally. The mage had come up with the idea around the time the magic knights had just begun to visit at regular intervals. He would gather the simple customs of Cephiro and Umi's favorite faerie stories and compile them into a book for her. The project was more time consuming than he originally thought. The requests of Japanese and Kanji dictionaries had made the water knight curious but by some odd stroke of luck it did not intrigue her enough to pursue it or else she would have know his task before he had accomplished it. As the mage was no match for the way those eyes could look at him.

He was nearly finished with the project by the time he and Umi had become more intimately involved. Its completion coincided quite closely with the first of two pregnancy scares. Thus is why he had asininely inscribed on the inside cover.

To My Son, Huki

With Love from Your Father

Doushi Clef

He had never meant to leave it in there. But then he thought he might do it just to get a rise out of his lover as she seemed to enjoy doing that quite frequently herself. For some insane reason he thought she looked even more beautiful when she wanted to beat him to a pulp. And to give her a book with that inscription for her birthday definitely got him one of those "classic" looks.

Clef set the photograph back exactly where it had been even making a few final adjustments until he was sure it was back where it had been. If he was bad about people touching his things, he knew Umi was definitely worse. He sank back into the mattress, gathering the pillow into his arms. It was most likely a figment of his imagination, but underneath the soft smell of the fabric soap he could barely make out Umi's scent. Her "shampoo" had always enamored him with its fragrance. The past few weeks had seen his own muddled scent of books and herbs mask the soft flowery perfume that had once invaded his bed. He never thought he would miss something so much as he did one simple smell.

Hugging the pillow to his chest, Clef collapsed onto the bed, breathing in the memory. It had been so long since he had slept in this room. The water knight had only occupied it until her completion of "high school". And from then on, she had only kept the rooms more fore show than anything else. Taking in a long breath, he slowly drifted off into a troubled sleep.

The mattress shifting roused the mage from his slumber. Umi smiled down at him through a curtain of hair as she reached across him for her cell phone lying on the bedside table. She picked it up only long enough to look at the time and then settled back against her bedmate, resting her cheek on his bared chest. Clef pulled her closer and gently stroked her arm as they lay together in this rare silence. He felt her sigh deeply under his touch.

"What's wrong?"

The water knight mumbled something to the negative. Clef knew it was better not to push her, she would tell him in her own time. Pushing for an answer was just asking for a fight.

"Clef?"

"Hmm?"

"Would you really want children?"

His hand froze mid-stroke. This was out of character for her. If one actually believed the stories the water knight told him, which he didn't not even for a moment, one would have thought that it was impossible for her to even become pregnant without wanting the child first. But the mage knew it was only a matter of time, but had that time come so quickly? He hesitantly rubbed her shoulder.

"I don't know." The word has slipped out of his mouth before he thought about them. His lover tensed underneath his touch. Damn. That time had come, and much sooner than he thought. "What I mean is, it has been so long since I last cared for an infant."

Umi cringed away from him more. It still hurt her to hear about the princess, even so indirectly. For she knew the stories by heart even though she had only heard them a handful of times, thus she knew exactly who he was referring to. But she relaxed slowly as Clef pulled her tightly to him, kissing her lightly on the forehead. She settled back into his arms and traced small circles on his chest. "I'm late." She whispered so quietly that Clef could barely say he heard it. The mage rubbed her back in a reassuring fashion as he whispered into her hair telling her that everything would be alright.

"But what about the council? The laws say…"

"One thing at a time." He pulled her closer to him, and both settle back into the soft blankets of her bed.

Umi slowly drifted back to sleep only to be rudely awaked by the chiming of her cell phone's alarm. Groggy, she fumbled on her table to find the cursed thing, and switched it off, flopping back into her pillows. Wait pillows? She reached out her right hand and only felt the end of the mattress. She reached out with her left hand. Same thing. Come to think of it, the light was coming from the wrong direction. Her eyes shot open. This was not the castle of Cephiro. This was her bedroom in her parents' house. Why did these dreams have to feel so real that she was so disoriented by them? Her hand drifted down the distended line of her belly. Why couldn't other things be the dreams? Why did she have to dream about a time when her only worry was finishing high school? When getting pregnant was not too terrible an idea with graduation so close on the horizon. Only she and Clef knew about that particular conversation, just as she and he were the only ones who knew about the subsequent miscarriage. The knight couldn't even bring herself to tell her mother. But then again, this was before they truly even knew about Clef.

Climbing out of bed, she pulled off her night gown and began the arduous process of getting dressed. It was almost impossible to find anything in her wardrobe that did not accentuate the growing line of her stomach. Finally she settled on a simple skirt and blouse set. Pulling her hair up into a knot, she stopped to look at herself in the mirror. How much she wished her lover could see her like this. There was no way he could seriously quip his "undeveloped" line at her. The way her body had readjusted itself around this life in her womb, would have merely wrapped him all the tighter around her finger. Even the dense Mr. Shelby, did notice this one change in his assistant. She was not blind to the looks he gave her when he thought he mind was somewhere else. At the very least, he had stopped with the "Umi-chan" bit. This was most likely thanks to Mr. Jarndyce.

Grabbing the papers from her desk, Umi shoved them into her bag as she rushed downstairs. Waving to her mother, she slipped on her shoes before flying out the door. She had spent too much time in front of her mirror. And if she didn't quicken her pace, she would miss her train, and be late for the first time. This was one of the things she missed about Cephiro. Everything was on a rather lax schedule. And she could sleep in without worry that anything would happen aside from Clef's lectures of time management, but then again, he was pretty bad about waking up recently as well. Shortly before her departure from Cephiro, it was more common for her to wake up to him dozing lightly beside her than to wake to a recently vacated bed. She forced the thoughts out of her head as she hurried into the train station, only to watch the back end of the train she needed disappear. This was just going to be one of those days wasn't it?

---

Clef groaned as the voices in the corridor woke him. That was the one problem with a sound charm. It only worked one way. His chambers were quiet either way, because of their location, but Umi's were right off of the Knights' common room, which always had frequent visitors. And it was Caldina's laughter that had disturbed him this morning. That was one of the main reasons he didn't venture down to these rooms as often as he once had. And with Umi taking up residence in his rooms, there was no need to. Although when he had spent nights here and was so rudely awakened in the morning, the water knight would just laugh at his frustration and remind him that it was not the best idea to inform them of his feelings given that he should not even have been in her room over-night, but who cared any more. He climbed out of the bed, and staggered over to the door. He had no idea what he would say to them, but he wanted nothing more than to sleep, and they were keeping him from it.

He may have opened the door with a bit more force than he meant to, given that it crashed against the wall a little harder than he had intended. Caldina, Presea, and the two other knights looked up at him in surprise. He grumbled incoherently at them before fuming back into the room and throwing himself at the bed. With a few muffled whispers, the girls vacated the common room and disappeared back down the hall way. It wouldn't be until later that he would get hell for his actions as well as a number of pointed questions from those who had no idea of how involved his and Umi's relationship was.

---

Umi adjusted her shopping bag over her shoulder as she stopped to look at the most recent issue of her favorite fashion magazine. She was still angry with herself for being late to work this morning, but everything was alright other wise. Tonight she was supposed to make dinner for her family. It would be her first time to man the kitchen on her own. Truthfully, if this separation from Cephiro had never happened, she would never have even attempted to cook an actual meal. Sweets had always been her specialty, but if she was going to be running a house hold—for she planned to move out of her parents house, when she could, after the baby was born, much to their great disappointment, and disapproval—she would need to know how to cook a few meals. One could not live on cakes alone, not to mention her distain for sweets.

She flipped through the magazine. One of her favorite artists was releasing a new CD, but she didn't have the money to spare on it. All of her funds were going toward her savings for an apartment of her own. With all of the fees involved, she wasn't sure how long it would take to save up that amount. But as she had agreed to stay at her parents until the baby slept through the night, she had a good portion of a year to save.

"Umi-san?"

The water knight's head shot up. That was a voice she hadn't heard in a while. Her heart lifted for a moment, as she turned to look at the elder sister of her best friend. "Kuu?"

The blond girl smiled. It had been forever since they had seen one another. The last time was shortly before the girls moved to Cephiro. More than a year had past since then. Her heart sank as she realized what she would eventually have to tell her. That she may never see her sister again.

"How are you, Umi-san?"

Umi put the magazine back on the news stand, and shifted her bag again. She wasn't quite sure what to say. How was she? As alright as girl who was pregnant and forcibly separated from her lover could be. "I'm fine. And yourself?"

"Oh I'm quite well. But you know what 'fine' means, Umi-san." She winked at her friend.

Umi laughed in spite of herself. "I know. Why don't we go somewhere to talk? There is a nice café up the road a bit."

After the knight had finished her recap of the past few months, Kuu sank back into her seat. "You mean you are stuck here?"

Umi nodded, and sipped at her coffee. It was still too hot to drink, why didn't she get a nice cool drink like her friend?

"And they are there. And you're… That is terrible." She reached across the table and took Umi's hand. "If you ever need anyone to talk to…"

The water knight smiled, as whole heartily as she could, but she didn't feel it. She had never realized that Kuu would bee more upset over her predicament than she was over her separation from her sister. This mad Umi feel even worse. Why did fate have to play with her life like this? What had she ever done?

She and Kuu didn't talk nearly as long as she would have liked, for she had to be finishing her errands and getting home to cook dinner. While the blond needed to be at the library studying for her approaching university exams. But she was happy to have seen her. It had never occurred to her that she still had her small network of friends here on earth. All she could think about was her home in Cephiro. None of her thoughts had ever ventured to the people she has known only in her time spent on earth. Maybe now was a good time to begin rebuilding those friendships. It wasn't like she planned to go anywhere for a while. The gentle flutter in her belly brought her back from her thoughts. She smiled with an unfounded hope.

"Don't worry. Someday, we will see your father again."

---

"We will see your father again…"

Clef's eyes shot open. He looked frantically around the vacant room. The was Umi's voice. He knew it in his very soul. What was she talking about. Who would see whose father again? His heart pounding in his chest, he lay back into the pillows. It must have just been a dream. He had been seeing her so much in his sleep, that he must be slowly forgetting his reality. Tomorrow, he would force himself back into his old schedule. The way he lived before The water knight had become such a fixture of his life. And maybe life would begin to get back to normal.

To be continued…..

Author's note: Sorry the chapters stay so damn short. They just naturally end at these points. I know this did not answer some of the questions raised but the last chapter, but I will tell you… Yes, Umi's parents knew about her and Clef. I might get more into that in later chapters. The fine comment of Kuu's is from something my gran always says to me. Fine Fucked up, irritable, nerotic, and emotional.

If you all want more info about anything that I have posted here, or any other comments that you don't wish to post in a review, please feel free to e-mail me or contact me via AIM, MorgannaProject. And if you wish to just hang out with other rayearth fans, feel free to join us in Cephiro at cephiro (dot) psynos (dot) net .

Reviews Love thank you .