My mother taught me two things - always go out in clean underwear and never take sweets from a stranger. The clean underwear was in case I got run over by a bus. I'm not sure why. Maybe the NHS won't treat you if you have dirty knickers. And how exactly my mother envisaged me being run over by a bus when I went and came back from work in rush hour, I didn't know. Nor did I ask, preferring not to know.

If you think that's bad, the reason being the not taking of sweets is worse. Could be a rapist, enticing me. This was not concern for my well being however. After all, can't have someone taking what could be sold. Nice, huh?

I love my mum, really I do. I just don't like her at times. But she's had a hard time of it – bringing me up on her own. I was a real tearaway as a child as well - always skipping school or giving cheek to my teachers. I dropped out of college because of a boy. That scared her. She was so worried I'd become a teenage mum. But I learned that lesson well – I had no intention of being a single mother on a London housing estate.

She'd kill me if she could see me now. Never take sweets off a stranger. Or get into their car. Well I suppose I could argue it's not a car.