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Author of 43 Stories |
First ToS fanfic, and hopefully, not the last. It's too great of a game to resist. Apologies for the pathetic title...
This contains major spoilers for... pretty much every major plot point of the game. Be warned.
Relativity
by Griffinkhan
"You just have two fathers. Just think of yourself as being lucky
for having more than most people do."
-Lloyd Irving
"So, Lloyd..." Dirk said, clearing his throat. The tiny boy who sat picking at his food and drowning in one of the dwarf's old shirts looked up, staring blankly across the table. It was two days since Dirk had found the child at the base of the cliff beside the human ranch, sobbing pitifully over his dying mother. The boy's initial fear and crying fits had subsided, reverting instead into a dull silence.
Dirk searched his mind for a topic of conversation. He did not have much experience with small children, most especially not with small human children. Inventing and discarding a hundred ideas within a few seconds, he finally settled on the practical. "Why don't you tell me about your father?" he suggested, putting his tea mug down on the table. "So I can recognize him when he comes to get you."
Lloyd's face brightened hopefully. "You think he will?"
"Of course," Dirk assured him.
The boy smiled, his first real smile in the short time the dwarf had known him. "Daddy's really tall," he proclaimed proudly. "Taller than Mommy and you, even." Dirk couldn't help chuckling at this. To a three-year-old, even a dwarf must seem gigantic.
"He's really strong, too," Lloyd continued. "He's got a huge sword. I tried to lift it but I couldn't."
So his father is a swordsman, then, Dirk thought. A soldier, maybe, or perhaps a mercenary. That gave the man a bit more hope for survival.
"What does he look like?" the dwarf pressed, hoping to gain some more concrete information from the child.
"Umm..." Lloyd tilted his head to the side as he thought. "He has red hair, an' eyes like mine. Mommy says he needs a haircut." He paused for a moment. Then his eyes lit up and he added, "And he has wings."
"Wings?" Dirk asked, confused.
"Uhuh. Mommy says that he's an angel." The boy beamed.
"I see..." The dwarf replied, smiling. Lloyd must have heard his mother calling her husband by a pet name and interpreted it as fact.
Lloyd suddenly went quiet. "You're sure he's coming to get me?"
"I'm positive, lad." Dirk assured him. "I know I'd be searching night and day if I were in his place."
"I bet he's lonely," the boy whispered, staring at a knothole in the table. "I'm lonely..."
The dwarf shook his head. "Don't you worry. I'll take care of you until your father comes. You won't ever be alone."
"Me an' Noishy too?" Lloyd questioned.
"And Noishe too. Both of you will be just fine. I promised your mother, after all."
The boy looked a little more cheerful. Dirk decided it was time to change the subject.
"Here, Lloyd, how about after dinner I start teaching you the Dwarven Vows?" he suggested.
Lloyd considered it for a second. "All right. But first can we go outside and look at the stars?"
"Certainly, but why?" Dirk asked, curiously.
"Me an' Daddy always look at the stars together," Lloyd explained sagely. "Mommy says stars are dead people looking down on us. Daddy says that's silly and they're big balls of gas, far far away. I just think they're pretty."
Dirk chuckled. "All right, then Lloyd, let's go look."
He helped the boy down from the chair and the two headed outside, letting the fire burn down behind them. Lloyd clung to the dwarf's hand and ran in front of him, leading him out into the blackness of the Iselia woods.
They walked across the forest floor, leaves crunching under Dirk's boots and Lloyd's bare feet. The dwarf wished he had stopped to make Lloyd put on some shoes and a coat, but it was too late now, and anyway he didn't have anything that would fit the little boy. He would have to work on making him some outfits tomorrow-
Dirk's train of thought halted abruptly. Why was he thinking of making clothing? Lloyd would not be staying long enough for it to become an issue. His father would show up within a few days, and that would be the end of it. It was obvious that Lloyd missed his family very much, and being reunited with his surviving parent would be for the best... wouldn't it? Dirk could not understand why the thought of the little boy leaving filled him with dread.
"Look, Mr. Irving!" Lloyd chirped suddenly, halting and tugging at the dwarf's sleeves. He bounced up and down on the balls of his feet as he pointed upwards excitedly. Dirk followed his arm and saw that they had emerged from the trees onto a small rise, which looked out over the whole forest. Dirk could clearly see the Iselia cliffs in the distance, the lights of the ranch glinting menacingly at the top.
"The stars are so pretty tonight!" Lloyd said, still bouncing. The skies around Iselia were not the clearest in the world, due to emissions from the machinery at the ranch. Tonight, though, was particularly calm, revealing millions upon millions of stars shining down on them.
"Yes, they are..." Dirk replied, looking up. He had never particularly liked stargazing. The empty blackness of the sky always made him feel uneasy, as though gravity would suddenly reverse itself and he would go flying off into the abyss. He would rather have a good roof of solid stone and earth over his head any day... but of course, that was no longer an option for him. He had chosen to leave the underground for the world of endless skies, and he would have to live with that decision, whether those skies disturbed him or not.
"Stars make me feel safe," Lloyd murmured as though answering his unspoken statement, his tiny eyes wide and reflecting the cosmos. Dirk blinked and looked down at him. "I think Mommy was right... they are people watching us. They feel nice like that." He turned to meet Dirk's gaze. "Do you think Mommy is watching us too?"
"Probably, Lloyd."
Lloyd smiled. "I know she is. She's watching me an' Daddy an' Noishy an' even you, Mr. Irving! I think you are a nice person and I think Mommy thought so too so I'm sure she's watching you."
And it was then, while Lloyd chattered away ceaselessly about the night and the stars and the infinite sky, that Dirk came to the disturbing realization that he didn't want the boy's father to return. Something in his heart that he hadn't known he'd lacked had been restored, and he didn't want to lose that again.
He found the bed's wayward occupant on the back porch, gazing up at the inky sky. He was shivering slightly, as the thin oversized shirt and baggy pants he wore as pajamas did little to halt the wind.
"Lloyd, you should be in bed, it's past midnight," Dirk said in a low tone.
The eleven-year-old turned, looking surprised to see the dwarf standing behind him. "Oh hey..." he said, running a hand through his untidy brown hair. "I just couldn't sleep for some reason, so I came out here."
"I see..." Dirk turned to look up at the sky along with his adopted son. Silence fell over the tiny porch, broken only by the night insects and the restless stirring of Noishe in the pen below. Finally, Dirk glanced over at the boy beside him and asked, "Are you... thinking about your father?"
"...Yeah," Lloyd answered after a moment, eyes fixated on a bright star, twinkling high above the tree line in the direction of the Holy Ground of Kharlan. "I wish... I could remember him..." he sighed, turning again to look down at his dwarven parent, whom he had already outgrown by several feet. "You never met him, did you? I guess you wouldn't know anything about him..."
"Only what you told me," Dirk replied. When Lloyd raised an eyebrow, he continued, "He was a swordsman, tall, with red hair and brown eyes... And," he added, smiling slightly, "He was an angel."
"An angel?" Lloyd asked.
"That's what you called him."
"I must've been one weird kid," Lloyd said, returning his gaze to the heavens.
"You still are."
"What's that supposed to mean?" the boy demanded. Dirk chuckled.
"Nothing, Lloyd."
Lloyd eyed him accusingly, then shook his head and promptly seemed to forget about the jibe. "An angel..." he murmured. "I wonder what I meant by that? Had he... already died, even before Mom?"
"I don't think so," Dirk replied. "You talked as though he were still alive, anyway. ...As did your mother." The dwarf hung his head, suddenly feeling ashamed to look at the boy he had raised for so long. "Her last words were asking me to look after you until your father came to get you. I promised her I would. I... wasn't able to keep that promise."
"No, you did!" Lloyd said, in a rather louder voice than necessary. It echoed out across the empty woods, resonating against trees before slowly dying away. Lloyd cringed slightly, then continued in a much lower tone, "You did. Even if you didn't keep it in the way she intended, you did look after me until my father came, because you are a father to me."
Dirk looked up into the boy's face, seeing nothing but truth reflected there.
"For once, you're right, Lloyd," he sighed, his mouth curling into a smile. "Thank you."
"But I didn't do anything," Lloyd answered, perplexed.
"Never you mind." Dirk reached up and patted his son on the shoulder. "Now, you'd better go to bed. You've got a long day at school tomorrow."
Lloyd made a face. "School... ugh. Do I really have to go, Dad?"
"Yes, you do," Dirk answered sternly. "Maybe the new teacher will be able to beat some sense into that head of yours."
Lloyd rolled his eyes. "Sure, Dad."
"One can only hope," Dirk laughed. He then ushered the young swordsman inside. Lloyd climbed into bed, allowing the dwarf to tuck him in.
"Goodnight, Lloyd," Dirk said, as he smoothed down the covers.
"Goodnight, Dad. I love you," the boy replied sleepily.
Dirk smiled softly. "I love you too. Sleep well." Then he blew out the candle and softly left the room, as behind him Lloyd closed his eyes and dreamt of angels.
"You knew."
The dwarf said nothing, merely peering back at the mercenary-turned-traitor-turned-father. Kratos shook his head. "You knew this whole time, and never said anything to him."
"Of course," Dirk replied. "It was rather obvious, even from what little I've seen of you. You kept giving him funny looks, asking odd questions. I heard you two talking by her grave the first night you came here. Noishe was practically bursting to get out of his pen and see you. And besides, you matched the description."
"Description?"
"You didn't think Lloyd forgot about you overnight, did you? You were all he talked about for a long time."
Kratos shook his head again. "I... he..."
"You don't believe me?" Kratos was silent. Dirk took that as an affirmative and walked over to a shelf below the stairs, pulling out a wooden box. He blew on it to remove a thin layer of dust and carried it back over to the table. Setting it down with a dull thud, he pulled off the lid. Inside, the papers beginning to yellow and curl with age, were dozens of drawings by a child's hand. The once bright colors were now fading to pastel hues.
Kratos stared at the box, then reached out tentatively and picked up the first picture. It showed a man, crudely drawn but still recognizable as human, bedecked in purple and carrying a sticklike sword. Fluorescent blue wings protruded from his back as he brandished the weapon against an unseen foe. In the background were three smaller figures, a brown haired woman, a small child in red, and a misshapen lump of white and green.
Kratos began to flip through the drawings, his eyes widening as the next illustration, and the next, featured representations of himself. He looked up at Dirk, who smiled.
"I saved everything Lloyd drew in here," he explained. "I'm not really sure why, but I'm glad I did."
Kratos nodded absently and turned back to the papers. The subject and quality of the pictures began to change as the stack went on. Now they showed Dirk and Colette, Genis and Raine, even a few of Frank and Phaidra and the other citizens of Iselia. But there were pictures of angels, as well- almost always sword-wielding, purple clad, and with bright blue wings.
The last picture in the box no longer resembled Kratos at all, showing simply a man carrying a sword. But the wings were still there, blue and brilliant against the page. The date scrawled across the bottom showed that it was from just a few months earlier.
"He never stopped loving you," Dirk said softly, as Kratos placed the illustrations back into their box. "You two must have been very close."
Kratos didn't reply, his fingers lingering over the first drawing before firmly replacing the lid. He moved away, standing with his back to the container, staring listlessly out over the room. Dirk paused for a few moments, then took the box and replaced it on his shelf.
"Now, you'd best be going or they'll leave you behind," he said, turning back to Kratos and folding his arms.
The angel was visibly startled. "What? I cannot-"
Dirk's eyes narrowed. "That wound of yours is not nearly as grave as you're making it seem. You're just using it as an excuse to run away."
Kratos blinked, surprised about getting lectured by a man a fraction of his height and age. "No! I'm not... He's fine without me." Dirk stared at him, and he quickly added, "I... I mean, his sword skills have improved tremendously and he won't need my assistance to defeat Mithos-"
"You weren't talking about defeating Mithos."
Kratos froze, then looked away, futilely trying to hide a face filled with the most emotion Dirk had ever seen him show. "He doesn't need me forcing myself in on his life."
"But you aren't forcing."
"He already has a father," Kratos said quietly, still not meeting Dirk's eyes.
"That doesn't mean he can't have another." Kratos finally looked up, as the dwarf continued in a softer tone. "I can't say I wasn't afraid when I first figured out who you were. I thought you might replace me in Lloyd's heart. But I know now that he isn't like that. He has enough love for you and me and the entire world. He needs both his fathers, Kratos. Not just one."
"...You are right," Kratos admitted, after a moment. "I apologize for my behavior."
"Lloyd's the one you need to be apologizing to," Dirk replied. "He wanted you to come, and it hurt him when you didn't."
"It did?" Kratos looked rather stricken at this statement.
Dirk smiled. "If you hurry, you can fix that." Kratos hesitated.
"But..."
"Go on. Our son needs you."
The angel nodded, and moved towards the door. "Thank you, Dirk... for everything."
"I'm the one who should be thanking you, Kratos. Take care."
The door closed. Dirk sighed and slumped into a chair. He hadn't been lying to Kratos. Every word he had said was true. Lloyd needed both of them, and he would never abandon one in favor of the other. And yet...
Dirk buried his head in his hands. He knew this was for the best... but the tears just wouldn't stop.
-end.