The Upside

Chapter 11

When he entered the tent, she was nervous. He had known to expect that, yet still it stung a little; after all his efforts to gain her trust he had hoped not to see her hands flutter restlessly as they did now. He had left her some time in his - their - tent to wash and change in private, and when the soft sounds stilled he'd found her sitting on the sleeping mats, knees drawn up so that only her toes peeked out from under her long nightgown.

Her hair was loose around her shoulders, and he remembered when he had tended to it for her, in the deserted city where they had dealt with her attackers. How despite the pain and the fear about her new situation, she'd all but basked in the feeling of his touch. It was the first time that he had wondered if she might be amenable to a marriage, and staying with the Medjai. It felt like a very long time ago.

He undressed to the loose drawstring trousers and sat down next to her. She pinked prettily at the sight of his bare torso, eyes drawn to the tattoos yet not quite brazen enough to look outright. He reached over to a pile of blankets and gave her one, smiling at her surprise - as if she only now realised that she was cold.

It was awkward, this - she was nervous and he wasn't completely sure of what he had expected to happen, either.

"You would think that since this is our second wedding night, we would feel more at ease with it, would you not?" he said, and a sudden smile curved her lips. He felt himself answer it, heart rising at her reaction.

He washed quickly, wiping dust and sweat from his chest and neck. She watched, growing bolder in her looks, more at ease. When he was finished he put the things away and joined her on the wedding bed, a mat covered by a thick cover and many pillows.

She gave him a shy smile, and he reached out to cup her cheek, letting the pad of his thumb trace those soft lips. His other hand trailed down her dark hair, its curls smoothed to waves from having been rolled up all day.

Her eyes drifted shut, and he shifted to sit closer, gently cradling her head between his hands, making small circles on her temples. She let out a deep, trembling breath, and then relaxed into his hands. It made him warm inside that he could do this, that his hands held this power. He spent some time massaging her scalp, and then moved on to finger-combing her hair. She had sagged a little, lightly leaning against his chest.

"Do you like that?" he murmured into her ear.

She made a soft sound of content, and he smiled into her hair.

"Shall I braid it for you?"

"Yes please," she murmured drowsily. She felt around next to the sleeping mat until she found a hairbrush made of horsehair, and handed it to him.

He ran it over her hair, liking the feel of it, and the soothing repetitiveness of caring for her hair. She might not be ready to consummate the marriage, but she liked it when he touched her, and was at ease with it. That, by his measure, was a very good start.

Finally he began to feel sleepy himself, lulled by the feeling of her and the gentle calm of the moment. He divided her hair into three parts, and made a neat, loose braid, tying it off with a leather cord she gave to him.

"All done." He pressed a gentle kiss just behind her ear. She shivered a little.

He lay on his side, propped up on an arm, and gestured for her to lay back also. After a moment of hesitation she did, shuffling until she was comfortable. He remembered that her fall was just days ago; she would certainly still be sore from her hard landing.

"Are you comfortable?" he asked softly, drawing her blanket up over her. The sun was still under; it would not be warming up for a few hours. She nodded, laying on her back, head tilted toward him. He moved a little closer and, moving slowly, pressed a gentle kiss to her forehead. Her face scrunched up a little at the touch of his beard, and they both chuckled, the tense atmosphere gone now. Seeing her smile he ghosted a kiss against the fine curve of her lips, an undemanding request.

She tilted her head a little to make the contact, and he let out a long breath as he caressed her full lips with his own. She returned the kiss, tentative and inexperienced, but it made his heart sing with joy. He stroked her face with a free hand, fingertips along her cheek and hair, and the quiet moment seemed to last a very long time. When he broke the kiss she let out a long breath of relaxation, and he smiled, pressing a soft kiss to the bridge of her nose.

He laid down and wrapped his blanket closer around him. He made a little space between their bodies, so that she would feel comfortable moving around. For the same reason he'd given her her own blanket. He didn't want to force her to chose between being cold and being too close for comfort.

Her face was still tilted toward him, quite close, and he thought he saw something of surprise there, as if she had not expected him to leave things at a kiss. That was good. He never wanted to push her beyond what she found comfortable.

"How do you feel about leaving the Races?"

"I will miss some of my family, I think..."

"We can go to the Races again every few years," he promised. He knew that might be important to her, and had already decided it could be arranged.

"But I am glad to be away now... I like the silence when I sleep."

He smiled, hearing his own sentiment. The Races had been interesting just for the novelty of having all those breeders and merchants together... a paradise of goods the Medjai normally didn't have access to. However now he was away he missed it not a second, was only glad to be in the calm, harsh beauty of the desert once again.

"What did you think of the Races?" she asked.

"It was quite unlike anything I've seen before," he said. "Not even at a gathering of all the tribes of the Medjai is there such a press of people. I enjoyed the chance to see the marketwares and craftsmen. And I've made Nassar a very happy man."

"As well he should be – he traded well," she said, and he grinned because she knew what she was talking about.

"I've also made myself a happy man," he whispered, stroking her loose braid with his fingertips. "And I hope I will make you a happy woman."

She smiled, and moved to kiss the side of his hand, but said nothing, and he wondered what she was thinking. Did she think happiness was possible, or had she simply chosen for the best options that was offered to her? Could she become not just his wife, but the wife of the Medjai leader – who was a leader in her own right? Would his people accept her like he hoped they would?

Her breathing had changed to a slow, regular rhythm, and she curled up on her side, arms around one of the pillows. It made him smile again. He idly wondered if he'd ever smiled this often before.

..ooOoo..

He'd wondered about this moment, about waking up. About how he would find her. Worried that she would be afraid of his touch, disturbed by his proximity, too uneasy to sleep. That he would find her curled up as far away as possible.

However he woke up to find her not only asleep, but also quite close. He had made sure there were blankets for the both of them, so that she would not feel forced to be closer than she were comfortable with. Now, her body wrapped loosely in the dark blue cover, her forehead rested lightly against the top of his arm. Her soft breath stroked his skin in the slow rhythm of sleep.

He felt a wash of warm elation. Had she needed more time to get this comfortable it would not have bothered him; it would take time, and he was ready to give her what she needed to become comfortable with being his wife.

This chaste touch spoke of a blooming trust, of growing confidence and affection.

Of hope.

He resisted the urge to put his arm about her. Tempting though it was to hold her as he had longed to do, he did not wish to startle her awake.

Outside a camel groaned, a drawn out complaint against some heavy task it dreamt of. Judging by the angle of the light it was nearing noon, and they would not set out again until the evening. They had time to linger. Ardeth reached out to open a tent flap a little further for ventilation. He stretched lazily and turned his head to look at her sleeping face.

Al-Musawwir, I love her. With her by my side, hopefully in time children..

He pictured the family he'd always hoped to have, and that was now perhaps within reach, and allowed himself to drift back to sleep with a smile.

..ooOoo..

It was pitch black around him, with a musty coolness on the air. He was tired, so very tired and his legs felt like they were filled with lead. His side was wet and sticky, and he knew that it was blood, recognised the slickness of it on his fingers. He drew in a laboured breath and knew he was in Nendjbaendjed, in the cellars under the abandoned city. That underground maze was the last refuge of the raiders they had eradicated. That meant there should not be any of them now, he thought. Hoped. He couldn't go on, his knees refused duty, made him stumble sideways against a wall. He wasn't sure if he'd be able to get up again if he sat down, but there was no choice now. He tried to control his descent to the ground. He'd just sit.. here... and.. rest...

A soft touch to his shoulder yanked him back to full awareness, and he reflexively grabbed at whatever touched him. A soft gasp yanked his sleep-addled mind back to the here and now. In his tent.

In the tent he shared with his wife.

She was looking at him with wide, startled eyes. He immediately loosened his grip on her wrist.

"Hells, I am sorry," he forced out. His voice sounded dry and hoarse. He let go of her and pushed himself to a sit, trying to push the tendrils of that vivid dream from his mind. When he'd mastered himself, he lay back down and reached for her.

She hesitated for the fraction of a second, and then came to him, settling in the circle of his arms. He stroked her hair until her breath calmed.

"Show me your wrist?"

She did. It was red where his hand had closed around it. That would be a bruise.

He grimaced.
"I'm so very sorry. The dream... I didn't know what I was doing."

"Should I not have woken you?" she finally asked in a soft voice.

"I am grateful that you did," he answered, "But I worry for your safety. Calling my name might be better."

He felt her nod.

"I dreamed of being in the cellar system underneath that abandoned city, only this time you were not there. And I think I was dying."

Her arm tightened around his waist for a moment.

"Do you remember anything from that day?"

"Just flashes, I think," she said. "Lots of masked faces. A sandstorm. And I think you talked to me, in the tunnels."

He kissed the top of her head.
"I wasn't sure if you were aware of me," he said softly. "You only cried."

"I think I didn't know if I was with you or.. or with the raiders, until you started speaking to me," she whispered.

He pulled her closer against his chest, her head tucked under his chin. Marvelled at how good that felt, how right.

Great Allah, I love her. Thank you for bringing her onto my path.

..ooOoo..

As the evening fell, they were back underway, riding knee to knee at the head of the long train of camels. He'd given her the invitation to ask questions about him and the Medjai, and she had gone quiet for the space of a long moment, giving it some serious thought. Then she had asked about the power dynamics in the group of warriors at the time that they rescued her.

"Not long before that time there were Westeners at the sacred city we guard. My father was the leader of the Medjai at that time, and I was at his command. His wish was that I should kill them so they could not spread tales of the City," he explained. "In my reluctance to do so, some of the men saw weakness."

"For not having them killed immediately?"

"Later, I allied with a small group of the westerners, and together managed to defeat the Cursed One. Some felt that though my end result had been good, they did not approve of my methods. It has taken some time to convince some of the older warriors that I am worth following now that I am the leader. In many ways I am completely different from my father."

"Am I correct in thinking that the situation has improved since I.. since I travelled with you, before?"

"Oh, certainly. In fact it was in part that we encountered you, and what that meeting led to, that helped me establish myself. The Council of Elders approved of my handling of the situation, and many of the men did too."

Her eyes grew wide in surprise.
"Truly? I often thought they wished that you had left me in that oasis."

"It was a difficult situation. It is not proper for an unrelated woman to travel alone with a group of men, and your presence made some of the men uncomfortable, for they did not know how to regard you. Many of them chose to ignore your presence as much as possible to hide their discomfort. However, they all knew that we could no more ignore whom Allah had put upon our path than we could ignore our sacred duties. "

..ooOoo..

"So Hamanuptra is safe under the ground?" She asked a few hours later.

"For now, yes," Ardeth said, steering his camel a little closer to hers. He didn't like speaking about this at full volume, even though they were alone in the desert.

"However the curiosity of foreigners is very great, and we must stay vigilant so that the Cursed remains safe under the ground."

"That is the main task the Medjai warriors have?"

They were several hours into the night's ride, and he had deemed it time to explain her more about the Medjai and the history of his people.

"There are several smaller locations that must be protected, and we police the desert land around it against…" he trailed off, remembering that she knew very well what kind of people they patrolled for.

She just nodded, seeming just as glad to gloss it over.

"I intend to reorganise the way we guard the ancient sites, so that less of the men are away from base camp at any one time. When we arrive in camp, the other tribes will already be on their way to join us for a celebration."

"Ah yes, the celebration. What will be expected of me?"

"If you mean during the wedding ceremony, I think my mother will be a better source of information. She will help you and prepare you. In general - we will present ourselves to the tribes, and the leaders of each will meet with us first in a feast, and later in private."

She nodded, as if she'd been expecting that.

..ooOoo..

Sometime over the past day of riding he had forgotten his worries about her motives, Ardeth realised as he set up their tent for the night. They had spent most of the day talking about their lives and what the future was going to be like. He'd given her full insight into the sacred duties of the Medjai, wanting her to understand why it was necessary for him to ride out.

Finally they'd ridden in companionable silence, riding knee to knee. He'd caught her looking at him a few times, but she'd just smiled, and she no longer seemed as tense or nervous.

He glanced over at where she was, seated on one of the camel packs. She was feeding the fledgling hawk and talking softly to it. He couldn't help smiling. She would be a great mother.

He lost himself in thoughts for a moment, picturing her with their children. He knew he was supposed to wish for sons, but his mind's eye drew a girl first, a fiery little girl with Ester's eyes. She was riding in front of him on Athir, and Ester rode next to them, heavily pregnant with their second child.

"What do you see?" she drew his attention back to the present, and he realised he'd been staring into the dark. She was standing in front of him, the hood of her riding coat drawn up against the chill of the night.

"Our future," he said.

"You were smiling," she sounded pleased.

..ooOoo..

They both startled awake when a camel lowed close to the tent, and Ardeth was pleased to see the disorientation in her eyes give way to comfort when she realised where she was. In sleep they had shifted closer together, he half on his side, his nose against the dark curls that were caught in a loose braid. Her body angled away from him a little, but her face was snuggled against his shoulder, her lips lightly against his skin. They moved a little as she woke, and he felt heat radiate from that place through his entire body.

"Good morning."

She gave him a small smile in answer. He couldn't resist, and pressed a gentle kiss to those smiling lips.

"Good morning, husband," she said. He noticed that she looked pleased at how that word sounded from her lips. He smiled a little. He liked it too.

"I liked our second wedding night better than the first," he said. "And the third one was even better. Practise DOES make perfect."

She chuckled and pressed a kiss to his shoulder. His breath caught for a moment. Even the barest touch from her could set his blood on fire - her lips to his bare skin was a whole new chapter in the book of self control. If she knew what she did to his body he knew that she might shy back, so for now he worked to contain his physical reactions. The step from loving to passionate touches was something she would need to work up to.

He used a strand of her hair to draw delicate patterns on her face, smiling when she twitched ticklishly. When he stopped, she returned the action, tickling first his face with her hair and then down his throat to his collarbone. She lingered on the tattoos at the front of his shoulder, and gently fingered his amulet, taking her time to study it. Omar had added the engravings that signified 'married' to it before they left the Spring Races. Ester leant in and feathered a kiss against his throat.

Ardeth groaned softly.

"Stop?"

"Allah, no," he whispered. It was one of the first times that she took the initiative to touch him, really explore his body, and he loved it.

She smiled a little and traced the tattoo on his sternum, fingertips trailing along the arc of his ribs. It tickled a little.

"Will I be expected to get one, too?" she asked idly, leaning over to study the deep blue inking. Her curls trailed over his chest, making him take a deep breath.

"Most of the women have one on their back," he rested his hand between her shoulder blades, and was pleased when she leant into the touch a little, "and one here." he indicated a place high on his abdomen. "One when they come of age, and one when they marry."

They were protective symbols, the one on the back representing powerful protective spells over the heart, the one on her abdomen protecting any child she might bear.

"When do I get them?"

He was surprised at her easy acceptance of the idea of tattooing. As a rule only desert dwellers had it as a practice - it was not at all common in the Nile Valley, where Islam was followed more to the letter. Koran forbade tattooing, but the various desert peoples were only influenced by the Koran to a certain degree. The Medjai were muslim, but their culture was shot through with the rituals and practices of their ancient duty.

"When you feel ready," he shrugged. She was not expected to embrace all Medjai ritual from the first day. "Though if you became with child, it would be preferable to have them."

She nodded, bending down to study the symbol just under his navel, tracing it with her fingertip. The muscles in his stomach contracted, and he took hold of her hand and drew it to his lips. Her tentative touches set his blood on fire, and he needed something to concentrate on.

She watched him with wide eyes as he caressed the back of her hand with his lips, first with soft, chaste kisses and when she did not pull away, with his lips slightly open. He turned her hand to place a lingering, wet kiss in the palm of her hand, and she took a shivery breath.

"Stop?"

Her eyes widened a fraction at that question, transfixed on his own, an after a moment she gave a tiny shake of her head. He smiled inwardly and moved his ministrations to the inside of her wrist, feeling the rapid beating of her pulse against his tongue. He laced his fingers through hers and sat up to kiss her. She welcomed his lips on hers. It was slow and gentle, and he let his other hand roam her shoulders and neck, dig into her hair, massage the base of her skull. She made a low, soft sound of pleasure and her hand squeezed his.

He shifted a little to improve the angle, and her free hand went around to his back, trailing up and down his spine now with her fingertips, now with her nails. It was so light that he involuntarily arched away from her hand, closer against her, so that his chest pressed against hers. He took a deep breath at the feel of her round breasts pushing against him, shielded only by the thin cotton of her nightdress. Her hand flattened between his shoulder blades, warm pressure indicating that she approved of this new development.

He teased her lips with the tip of his tongue, and she opened up to him on a sigh. His head spun, and he found himself fighting the urge to push her down onto the mat and show her how good he could make her feel. Too much, too soon.

She made a happy little purr in her throat and he could feel her smile into the kiss. Ardeth drew his fingertips down the sides of her back, and she shivered, shoulders pulled up, head tilting back a little. Amused, he did it again, drawing forth a quiet squeak this time.

"That was an interesting sound..." he mused under his breath, doing it again. The thin linen was smooth under his fingers, and he grinned at the way she squirmed in his arms.

Outside it was getting warm. They had time to linger. After all, everybody was already assuming they would take their time during this journey. It was the first time since he was a small child when there was no pressure to go anywhere or do any duty; all he needed to do was be with her, and make enough progress toward the camp that they would not run out of supplies. He found he was enjoying the break from his duties. It was a good start, he thought, to spend this time together, to learn about each other, before they got subjected to the pressures and politics of the Medjai wedding.

..ooOoo..

The day's ride was short, which seemed to fluster her a little until he explained that their stop for the evening was too pleasant to pass up - their journey took them along the bottom of a steep cliff, and there were caves there. Ardeth took Amar into the deepest one to teach the young man the route through the maze of tunnels and chambers, to where a small trickle of water filled a basin. The next hour was filled with carrying water out for the camels while Abdul-Rahim built a fire and prepared food together with Ester.

..ooOoo..

Like the nights before he gave her some time to wash and change, and then joined her. She was much more comfortable with him now, he was pleased to note. Perhaps the leisurly pace they were taking together had reassured her that nothing was going to happen that she didn't want to.

When she watched him openly while he washed, he reach out to hand over her sketchbook. The laughter in her eyes made him take a deep breath.

"You indulge me."

He just grinned as he resumed wiping down his torso. The sound of charcoal scratching on paper, occasionally softened by her finger or the side of her hand, gave him goosebumps as surely as if she were touching him instead of the paper.

"Of course," he said after a few minutes, putting the cloth away. "You are my wife."

He moved to slide under the covers of their bed, noting that she'd drawn his shoulders and collarbones, careful attention to the planes of muscle and bone, and his tattoos.

She put the sketchbook away and lay down next to him, snuggling into the circle of his arms.

"Yes," she finally said.

He smiled, his nose buried in her hair. He hadn't expected a reply.

"And that pleases you?"

He could feel her breath even out as she started to slide toward sleep, and smiled ruefully. Perhaps not the best moment to ask such a question.

"...yes..." she whispered against his shoulder, and drifted off into sleep.

Thank you, Al-Musawwir, for bringing her onto my path twice over, he prayed silently. With your help I will avoid treading in the footsteps of my father. I will be the leader my people need and the husband and father my family deserves. With your help I will keep Hamanuptra safe and protect the people from the monster.

His eyes slid over the pouch where Horus the hawk slept after a last feeding, and drifted off, feeling a hope for the future he hadn't ever had before.

The End

Notes: this is not really how I wanted to end this story, but it's what I've got and I don't think it's going to be any more than this. So there you go, the last chapter I held out for so long. Sorry about that! Thank you for hanging on for so long :-)

Al-Musawwir - The Shaper of Beauty