|The Owner's Guide and Maintenance Manual: CAGALLI
Author: mumyou nanashi PM
This is the NEW and IMPROVED Version of the CAGALLI unit. Thanks to CTown Chica and to mangamaniac for the infoRated: Fiction T - English - Humor/Parody - Cagalli Y. A. - Words: 2,030 - Reviews: 43 - Favs: 46 - Follows: 5 - Published: 04-20-05 - Status: Complete - id: 2360185
|A+ A- Full 3/4 1/2 Expand Tighten|
DISCLAIMER: I do not own Gundam SEED. Heck, I don't even own this idea! This idea came from Theresa Green and was inspired by Hikari-Hrair-Rah's series. I have asked both of their permissions to use their respective ideas for this fan fiction.
AUTHOR'S NOTES: Yeah! Thanks to all the encouraging reviews! I decided to make this a series and try to make one for all the main characters. Hope you enjoy this!
MANUFACTURER'S NOTES: We would like to thank one of our dear patrons, C-Town Chica, for letting us know that we forgot to include the interactions with the ANDREW WALTFELD unit. We would also like to thank mangamaniac for correcting our mistake regarding the CAGALLI YULA ATHHA unit's height. We sincerely apologize for an inconvenience these might have caused you.
To mangamaniac, no, we are not the manufacturers of the MAKIMACHI MISAO unit. It is from Hikari-Hrair-Rah, a brilliant and inspiring author – er – manufacturer.
Thank you for your continued patronage. Please watch out for more units to come.
CAGALLI YULA ATHHA: The Owner's Guide and Maintenance Manual
Congratulations! You are now the proud owner of a fully-automated CAGALLI YULA ATHHA unit. To insure that you get the full use and benefits of your Princess of Orb, please pay close attention to the following instructions:
Name: CAGALLI YULA ATHHA (a.k.a. Cagalli, Kagari)
Date of Manufacture: 18 May C.E. 55
Place of Manufacture: Orb, Royalty Division
Genetic Type: Natural
Height: Same height as Ensign Yamato (as unit would like to think)
Weight: Unit does not allow itself to be weighed
Your CAGALLI YULA ATHHA will come with the following accessories:
One (1) Custom Made Pilot Uniform (Pink)
Two (2) Green and White Orb Princess™ Dresses
One (1) Cap, Coat, and Pants Ensemble®
One (1) Vest and Pants Combo®
One (1) Handgun
One (1) COL. LEDONIR KISAKA unit (Offer good while supplies last)
Please note that there are no food rations for the CAGALLI YULA ATHHA unit. However, worry not. The ATHRUN ZALA unit will gladly share its food with her. Please be reminded that even though we have taken the liberty of providing your CAGALLI YULA ATHHA unit with some clothes, this doesn't mean that CAGALLI YULA ATHHA is a typical Orb Princess™ which you can dress up. But if you can't resist dressing her up, be our guest. Note: We are not responsible for any damages unit might cause. To gain access to the MBF-02 Strike Rouge, please contact Chief Erika Simmons at Morgenroete.
The CAGALLI YULA ATHHA unit may not be the most versatile units around, but with the right motivation, she will willingly serve in as many different modes as possible:
RICH BENEFACTOR: Planning to re-take over your town but haven't got the moolah to make it possible? Worry not! CAGALLI YULA ATHHA is a certified princess. Just explain your goals to her and she'll take care of your supplies. Guns, food, bodyguards…name it; she has it (except for Mobile Suits).
PILOT: Who says girls can't be pilots? With proper training and motivation, this unit will give even his younger twin brother a run for his money! Just let her play arcade games similar to what you want her to pilot, and within just a few tries, she'll get the hang of it. Hire her out to a local airline or to the military and wait for the cash to roll in!
FIRST-AID: This unit is an expert when it comes to dressing wounds (especially wounds in the stomach which she caused). Earn easy money by hiring her out to the military.
SPY: This unit is an expert at hiding her true identity. Refer her to the military or to the police for all those secret missions and get rich fast!
PSYCHOLOGIST: Does your friend have an ATHRUN ZALA unit who seems to be stuck in Angst-y mode? Itching to buy that YZAK JOULE unit but haven't got the money? This is the answer! Open up a clinic for those psychologically incapacitated individuals with your CAGALLI YULA ATHHA unit as the shrink! Ask a minimal (or high – your choice!) fee and after just a few days, that YZAK JOULE will be yours! (Note: Please do not admit any RAU LE CREUSET units in your clinic if you don't want to be sued. That unit is un-treatable! He's just loony from reading too many Char Aznable fanfics!)
Your CAGALLI YULA ATHHA has six (6) different modes:
Kind and Compassionate
Angst-y and Gloomy
Mindless Pawn (as seen on Gundam SEED Destiny!)
Please take note that there are no Angry and Irritated Modes in this unit. The reason for this is because these modes are incorporated in the Tomboyish mode. Lady-like Mode is on Level 1 lock and will only be activated upon contact with a 'dress'. Please be reminded that forcing the CAGALLI YULA ATHHA unit to wear a dress will need immense physical strength and may sometimes cause the unit to retaliate. SEED mode is characterized by a glazed look in the eyes and will increase the strength of the unit. We are not responsible for any damages unit might cause when in SEED mode.
Relations with other units:
Your CAGALLI YULA ATHHA is a Tomboy-by-nature and is therefore brash and outspoken. Please be reminded that she may hurt other unit's emotion chips and might cause a change of attitude. However, with continued interaction, your CAGALLI YULA ATHHA will be friendlier (especially to ATHRUN units).
KIRA YAMATO: First interactions with this unit may prove to be traumatic for both, resulting in never-ending flashbacks and the like. At first, it might seem that your CAGALLI YULA ATHHA unit is attracted (romantically) to the KIRA YAMATO unit. Get it out of your head! These two units are twins, in case you don't know. They might very well commit incest if you don't make the CAGALLI YULA ATHHA meet up (accidentally) with an ATHRUN ZALA unit.
ATHRUN ZALA: Now this! This unit is the CAGALLI YULA ATHHA's suggested mate, er, partner. Even though first and second meetings with this unit might prove to be anything less than friendly, things should be fine by the third and fourth tries. Continued interaction with this unit might even result to a friendly hug or a kiss or two.
COL. LEDONIR KISAKA: This unit is the CAGALLI YULA ATHHA's bodyguard. We have taken the liberty of including him to your purchase. Think of it as a buy one, take one deal.
FLAY ALLSTER: The FLAY ALLSTER unit is a devious and cunning vixen. Interactions with this unit must always be supervised if you don't want your CAGALLI YULA ATHHA unit to die from the daggers coming from the FLAY ALLSTER unit's eyes.
REP. UZUMI NARA ATHHA: This is the adoptive father of your CAGALLI YULA ATHHA unit. He may sometimes be a stern parent, but he is very protective of his daughter. If you do not wish for your CAGALLI YULA ATHHA unit to lose her Princess Pedigree, we suggest you shut up and never tell anyone of her true identity.
Other unit interactions:
M1 PILOTS: Interactions with these units are filled with unintentional taunts and criticisms. Fortunately, there is no need to be worried, these are perfectly normal and the Astray girls know better than to mess with an Orb Princess™
COMMANDER MWU LA FLLAGA: This unit will serve as a guide to your CAGALLI YULA ATHHA. Although it will stubbornly refuse to call your CAGALLI YULA ATHHA by name, it is just because he is fond of torturing those younger than himself.
CHIEF ERIKA SIMMONS: This is sort of like the older sister that your CAGALLI YULA ATHHA unit never had. She is kind of like the female counterpart of Kisaka.
ANDREW WALTFELD: Interactions with this unit should always be supervised by a KIRA YAMATO unit to ensure the CAGALLI YULA ATHHA unit's safety. Please remove anything associated with a kebab, chili sauce or yogurt sauce within the vicinity when units are interacting. The ANDREW WALTFELD unit, aside from pouring yogurt sauce on unsuspecting units' kebabs, also enjoys dressing other people up with his accomplice, the AISHA unit.
Your CAGALLI YULA ATHHA, even if she is an Orb Princess™ will sometimes forget to clean herself. If you do not wish to burden yourself with reminding her to clean herself, buy a MANA unit now. We would like to reiterate that the inclusion of dresses with the CAGALLI YULA ATHHA unit does not mean that she is a Barbie doll.
If you would like to clean her yourself, please be reminded of the following: do not tumble unit dry; do not hang unit in the line to dry.
Your CAGALLI YULA ATHHA unit is a growing teenager and she needs proper diet and nutrition. If you cannot provide her with Gourmet dishes, it is quite alright as she is used to living with rebels/terrorists and traitors.
Frequently Asked Questions:
Q: I'm a die-hard Kira/Cagalli fan. But with the not-so-recent revelations that they are in fact siblings, I'm at a loss. What do I do?
A: We suggest calling a Licensed FanFiction Author/Authoress about this. If you need one, contact fanfiction dot net for your local listings.
Q: Instead of a CAGALLI YULA ATHHA unit, I got some girl named FUUKO KIRISAWA? She has purple hair and green eyes! She is Tomboyish, heck I almost got ripped apart by some wind-summoning device? What gives?
A: We apologize for the inconvenience this might have brought you. That was our Tomboyish Fuujin wielder from the FLAME OF RECCA line. Please ship it back to us and we'll replace you the proper unit ASAP.
Q: My CAGALLI YULA ATHHA had a fight with a FLAY ALLSTER unit over a KIRA YAMATO unit. Now, she's been missing for days and I miss her terribly!
A: FLAY ALLSTER, huh? Have you tried looking at the nearest morgue?
Problem: Your CAGALLI YULA ATHHA has been missing for days. She didn't have a fight with a FLAY ALLSTER unit, you've looked in the morgue, and still no unit.
Solution: Look for her at the nearest Deserted Island® near you. Chances are, she's there spending her nights and days with a certain ZGMT-09A JUSTICE Pilot. Or maybe, just maybe, she decided to join the Desert Dawn.
Problem: Your CAGALLI YULA ATHHA is being constantly thought of as a boy.
Solution: First, go to the doctor to see if your unit is in fact a she. After confirming her gender, dress her up as a girl with the help of a MANA unit. The sight will cause any remaining doubt in other people's heads.
With proper care and maintenance, your CAGALLI YULA ATHHA will live to see SEED Destiny, put up with a SHINN ASUKA unit's taunts, escape from an unwanted marriage with a YUUNA ROMA SEYLAN unit, and hopefully get married to an ATHRUN ZALA unit.
END NOTES: So, what do you think? I thought about this for… (thinks)…2-3 days and I started writing this yesterday. I think it's quite good enough, but a second (or third, or fourth, or many!) opinion would be nice! Let me know! I am now accepting anonymous reviews! I didn't want to enable that feature before because I was scared of flames (hmm… I don't want my ego to be fried). But now, I though, what the heck! Flames are nice. Flames are indications that there is room for improvement.
Stay tuned to this series okay! And please check out my other fic, SEED Weekly! To those who are waiting for 'Halcyon' updates…I'm terribly sorry! I'm stuck in a slump and I don't know how to get on with it. Any ideas? Thanks!