The Price of Freedom

Kagura was astonished at the irony. And she was majorly ticked off.

That malevolent whore! How dare she? How could she?

Damn them all

Here she was drowning in who knows where, and she’d just gotten her heart back.

And she’d been played. Like a pawn. Like the slave she was, and the slave she died as. Can’t I for once, just once, not be used?

It had all started out so simply. Naraku was dead and she was she wasn’t. And he wasn’t dead.

All he wanted was to lure out that bitch Kaguya and toy with Kagura’s mind a bit. He’d given her a taste of freedom and snatched it away enjoying ripping the false sense of security she’d gotten.

She’d wasted her freedom too. All caught up in that scum’s moon magic.

Bitch.

Damn she was losing her vision. Kagura choked. This wouldn’t be like with Naraku. Now she actually had her heart.

Now she could die.

I should be thankful to be rid of this world, but now all I feel is regret. Why?

She sneered at herself her waning energy dying. It was so cold down here.

Why? Feh. That cursed word describes my life.

Oh Damn. She couldn’t breathe.

I can’t even move. Gods. Someone. Help.

Please.

She was dying. Oh fuck. Not so soon. Not before she killed mouth clogged with water as she tried to scream one last time.

Kagura’s eyes began to water and she closed them. There was enough salt in the sea. It was so dark down here. Just like the basement. Dizziness and nausea enclosed on her. So cold…

She wanted to die where the wind blew.

Everything was so quiet and still in the ocean. She was going under and sinking so slowly. If only she could reach her fan.

It wouldn’t have worked though. There was no wind in the ocean. There was nothing except for the everlasting silence.

Even if that bitch hadn’t paralyzed her and Kanna, Kagura wouldn’t have been able to survive.

Gods this hurts…

Fuck, fuck, fuck.

Darkness closed over her as she struggled in futile. Not again.

Suddenly Kagura felt something. Or rather someone. Holding her…

And then it was over.

Bliss surrounded her as they broke the surface. Kagura took in several deep breaths getting air in her lungs. She choked again spewing water from her mouth.

What the-?

Her mind was in a state of frenzy.

He was here.

It was amazing. It was astonishing. It was he.

In the back of her mind she registered tiredly that she was in his arms.

That was a first.

“Sesshoumaru...” She breathed letting her head loll on his shoulder. They were flying. She was in the mighty Sesshoumaru-sama’s arms and she was content.

She’d just survived a near death encounter. Nothing new in her line of work, no the special thing was, how she’d survived.

She’d been saved.

“Kagura.” There it was. Just a word from him and her heartbeat quickened.

Jeez. What was she? Some goose girl who fainted over every noble’s sexy, deep voice? Huh?

“Are you well?”

Yes. She was.

This Sesshoumaru despises Naraku, Kagura.”

“We’ve established that teensy fact, Sesshoumaru.” She drawled sleepily, boldly using his name. She could almost see him frowning. You know if she wasn’t being currently embraced by him and all that.

Sigh.

Her life was perfect. Aside from the being a slave to Naraku and knowing she could die any second.

Kagura felt herself become drowsy as they lowered to the ground. She was so tired, it felt as though Kaguya had ripped away her life force.

Ugh. Wouldn’t put it past her.

After all Kaguya was exactly like Naraku, except female. And pretty. Well not that Naraku wasn’t pretty but….

Oh Gods she was babbling to herself.

How…wrong.

Her, the wind itself, first lowered to a demon’s status, then humiliated repeatedly by a worthless half-demon, and then prattling on nonsensically to herself to cover up the embarrassment she was feeling in a man’s arms for the first time.

She really didn’t want to die.

Instead she wanted to stay in Sesshoumaru’s arms. Just like this. And pretend for a while, just a little while that they were something. That would be nice she supposed, if she didn’t know better.

“Kagura. Are you listening to this Sesshoumaru?”

“No.” she snapped waspishly leaning into him tiredly. Bastard. Can’t he tell I’m tired? Or is it he just doesn’t care?

It took her a moment to decipher he was sitting on a rock. Fuck, she really was out of it. Hey, wait a minute, if he’s sitting on a rock, then where am I sitting?

Oh. On his lap...

Trying not to blush she looked up at his golden stare. He was gazing at her a little to intently and she was getting kind of antsy.

“What?” she asked finally.

His stare lessened and he averted his eyes gazing at a the sky. “I wish to know what transpired between Naraku and Inuyasha over the last few days.”

Oh.

“So that’s why you rescued me.” She said softly, more to herself then him. She should have thought of it before. In fact she was stupid not to have thought of it at all.

Because all he was to him was his informant. Nothing more.

No need to get angry she reminded herself at the first sparks of fury. After all, her life was not her own to call. She must remember she was forever at the beck and call of Naraku.

Heh. She was a fool.

Ignoring the stirrings deep within her she replied. “Basically he was killed by Inuyasha. Then some other Naraku like moon bitch came along and Inuyasha killed her. Then Naraku returned. The end.”

She stood up fully intending to leave when his hand came over her shoulder.

“Kagura.”

Her eyes flickered to him briefly before she asked. “What know? Want a description of the moon witch?”

“You are a fool.” She flinched as he pulled her back to him. He hadn’t expected her to struggle though and that was how they tumbled to the ground.

Damn him. She thought, as his single arm came to brace her. What the hell does he want from me? Kagura beat her fists at him, unable to reach her fan.

“Let me go!”

“No.” Came the ever-cold voice.

She fought against him valiantly, but it was all for naught. For who could hope to prevail against the mighty Taiyoukai lord?

Slowly her anger and fury died and her blows upon him ceased. Sesshoumaru hadn’t said anything the whole time except to move himself into and upright position leaning on a tree nearby.

Kagura sagged against him breathing heavily. “I hate you.” She muttered gasping for breath. It seemed she still hadn’t got her strength back.

Sesshoumaru glanced at her in amusement. “You do?” He questioned raising his eyebrows.

She glared at him. “Yes!”

He didn’t reply so she closed her eyes letting herself relax against him. Listening to the steady heartbeat of his chest and soothing warmth that emitted from his body was comforting no matter how much she wanted to deny it.

“I didn’t rescue you solely for information.” He said finally running his long smooth fingers through her dark hair that had come undone.

Her heart was beginning to pound.

This was nice she thought hazily. Her red eyes widened slightly as she understood what he was saying.

He didn’t just save me for information? There were other reasons?

“Then,” She inquired carefully, “Why did you rescue me? We both know you don’t usually act that way, saving random people, so don’t try to pull that shit on me, Sesshoumaru.” She added as he opened his mouth.

Sesshoumaru was silent for a minute.

“I…do not quite know yet. It puzzles me. You puzzle me.”

Kagura lifted her head up from where it was rested and stared at him. “I puzzle you?” She repeated.

This was too much. She raised her hand over her mouth and covered her smile. She didn’t like to smile. For instance, what if Naraku ever found out she cared for this lord. Then he might also want to see the expression on her face while she hurt the person she cared for very badly.

And people wondered while she was so bitchy.

She didn’t like being his puppet. She didn’t like watching her own hands betray her. And she didn’t like the fact that Sesshoumaru was removing her hand from her mouth and looking at her smile.

“Why do you not smile more often?” He asked wiping away a tear that had escaped her eye with the pad of his thumb.

“My smile is not my own, if it were…” She let the sentence hang there knowing there were two outcomes that could come in his response.

He pulled her closer then, tipping her chin up so she could face him.

“If it were?” He challenged his golden eyes now pools of hot magma.

Kagura swallowed.

“If it were, I would smile for you every single minute of every single hour of every single day.” She answered honestly, cursing herself for revealing her secret.

Sesshoumaru quirked his perfectly sculpted lips up in a small smile.

And they lay there smiling at each other until Sesshoumaru characteristically averted his eyes. Kagura smirked as she realized he was blushing a bit.

“I have to go.” She said finally.

“Wash before you leave, or he will scent me on you.”

She should be terrified of the punishment that surely awaited her.

Wasn’t she?

Nope, what she focused on was the good profile she was getting of the coldly handsome lord. “He probably already knows, you know.” She muttered as he stood gazing down impeccably at her

“It is not of my concern."

Kagura grit her teeth looking away.

I knew it. He doesn’t care. I knew it. Then why can’t I believe it?

Sesshoumaru pulled her up pressing her to his chest. She didn’t say a word, but held onto him with a ferociousness she didn’t know she possessed.

She wanted him to kiss her. She wanted him to take way all her sorrows. She wanted for it all to just stop. Stop. Right there.

“I don’t want to go.” She whispered softly, tears making her eyes sting.

He kissed her warmly making her gasp aloud. Gods...

“I know.”

“I don’t want to serve him.”

He nipped her ear. “I know.”

“I want to be free.”

“I know.” He replied holding her tightly in a one armed embrace.

“I want to stay…I want to be with you!" She cried burying her face in his neck. Her boldness sometimes astounded her. But he didn't push her away.

He stroked her hair calming her. “You shall.”

She pulled away from him tears making their way down her cheeks. I don't want to believe him...It's too good to be true...

“When?” She questioned hopefully.

“Soon.” He replied, pulling her back into his arms.

Kagura tried to make herself believe that he was lying. That he was just using her. He cared nothing for her. She shouldn’t trust him. She couldn’t trust anyone in this miserable world she was accustomed too. Yet…him she trusted for no other reason that let her trust him

Kagura gasped as she realized the truth. The reason why she kept coming back to him. The reason she warned him before Naraku tried something. The reason she spent long hours at night thinking about him.

Sesshoumaru held her close as he whispered the inevitable,

“I. Know.”

Kagura turned her head slightly facing him. He knew too. He knew why. And he felt the same.

She was silent for once.

“No remarks? No comments?” He asked amusement lacing his voice smoothly.

“I…love you.” She whispered, more to herself than him. Gods. She loved him. There always was a price for freedom. But this price was too high. She could not pay it. She could not lose him. Not now. Not after everything.

It would break her.

She didn’t realize she was chanting aloud ‘till she saw his stony expression. Oh, he thought….

“No! Wait!”

He glanced back at her briefly before looking away. “It does not please you wind mistress, to love this Sesshoumaru?” He asked evenly. He was hurt.

That hurt her.

Kagura shook holding his hand in hers. “ He’ll make me kill you. He’ll make me hurt you. He himself will kill you. He’ll target everything you hold dear, your lands, your title, even that little girl you travel with.” She whispered half-crazed eyes meeting his surprised ones.

He didn’t respond and she let out a bitter laugh. “You see Sesshoumaru, If I’m not allowed to live, how can I possibly be allowed to love?”

She felt him stand up and cold air rushed to meet her.

Until he wrapped his arms around her and pulled her up from the rock she was sitting on. Furious hot golden eyes met hers and she saw a shadow of the powerful inu-youkai he was.

“You say you fear my life. You think you or that filth has the power to defeat me? I was right Kagura, you are a fool.” He snapped heatedly.

Kagura gasped fear invading her.

She was a fool. He was right of course. How stupid of her. Who could hope to defeat him?

Sesshoumaru glared at her. “My lands and companions are no more touchable than I myself. Understood?”

She did.

He let out a sigh pulling her to his body once again. She felt familiar flutters in her stomach as he nipped at her neck, seeking submission.

“When he is dead, you will come with me.”

She stifled a gasp daring to look at him. He held her gaze seriously. He wished her to become his. Could she do that? Could she give up herself to him?

And than she realized she already had.

Weren’t those her fingers entwined with his? Was it not her head that rested on his shoulder giving her neck to him? Was it not her heart that beat so wildly under his smoldering golden gaze?

Damn him, why is he always right? Tears came to her eyes and she hastily rubbed them away. I have to be strong...

Kagura met his eyes. “You belong to me.” She challenged. Sesshoumaru arched his eyebrows at her.

“Is it not the other way around?”

“No,” She smirked kissing his lips soundly as he frowned, “The wind belongs to no one…save you.”

Sesshoumaru embraced her, pulling her down to the ground with the heavens looking down at them indulgently.

Kagura wondered faintly, that night, if she was dying. She'd never felt this way before...

It was only until after Sesshoumaru had showed her, guided her, loved her that she realized she wasn't dead.

He'd given her life.

Naraku you bungled it, she thought drowsily after the first rays of dawn hit her and Sesshoumaru. He loved her. She loved him. They were together…

At long last…

I’m free.

fin-

-sniff- So much angst. So much darkness. And so much love! Damn I’ve been watching too many Charmed episodes!

LOVE WILL CONQUER ALL!