Here we go, round 2 in an attempt to make a good FMA fic. More royai. I apologize for any spelling mistakes, I used wordpad. I hope this doesn't suck too bad, eh?

Disclaimer: Ed's cape is red, Roy's suit is blue. I don't own FMA so please don't sue.

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Riza Hawkeye sighed deeply as she stared down at the pile of paperwork on her desk. She took a sip of her tea and willed her eyes to focus on the paper. This was harder than it should have been, Riza decided. It looked like the letters were swimming around the paper, and her head hurt something awful, and the tea was the only medication available for her at the moment, no matter how nasty it tasted. She blinked rapidly, then stared at the paper again. It was still blurry and impossible to focus on. She stood up out of her chair and left the room, gaining her some stares from her fellow subordinates, as well as the taisa himself.

Once in the safety and privacy of the women's bathroom, Riza let down her hair and stared at herself in the mirror. She could see the bags beginning to form under her eyes from the lack of sleep she'd been having as of late. Recently, she had been plagued with nightmares of her days in Ishbal. It seemed like every time she closed her eyes she would see blood, fire, the faces of terrified children, the smoking rubble. Every time there was silence she could hear gunshots, screams, and explosions. She had begun to sleep with the radio on, and that had helped for the first day or so. But then the nightmares got worse, and Riza became afraid to fall asleep, for fear of waking up crying and screaming from the horrifying reality of the past. So she would lay awake in her bed at night, listening to the dull mumble of the radio beside her, and try not to fall asleep. It appeared to finally be taking its toll on her body, after almost a week of this.

Riza wasn't sure when the nightmares had started. Of course she'd always had nightmares since the war, but they were never this frequent or terrifying. She couldn't think of anything that would have triggered the nightmares, either. Could she?

Yes, she could. It hadn't come to her immediately, but she vaguely remembered hearing a child scream after a gunshot in town the week before. It hadn't been anything serious, and she hadn't really thought anything of it at the time. Armed robberies in this city weren't so rare, after all. But the scream of the child... For a second she had felt herself back in the Ishbalan cities, amid the crying children searching aimlessly for their dead and wounded parents.

That was it, she decided. That was what had triggered it. But now how would she get rid of it?

I'll ignore it, that's it, Riza told herself. I'll ignore the nightmares. They'll go away sooner or later, right?

After splashing her face with icy cold water, Riza dried her face and walked back up to the office, her composure perfect.

"Something wrong, Hawkeye" Colonel Mustang asked.

"No, sir. Just a bathroom break," Riza answered calmly. Roy stared at her for a minute, evalutating her, but decided to let it go. The rest of the day passed without incident.

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"Go away!" Screamed the little girl, clutching a stuffed animal in her tiny hands. "Leave my mommy alone!" Tears streaked her face as she stood protectively in front of her dead mother. Riza stared stonily at the child, then at her mother. The woman was lying in a pool of blood, a bullet hole in her haid. Riza returned her gaze to the crying child, who had abandoned yelling at Riza to kneel over her mother. "Mommy?" She whispered. "Mommy? Mommy!" The girl was yelling now, salty tears falling from her face to mix with the blood on the ground. "Mommy, wake up! Wake up! I'm scared, mommy! Wake up!"

There was the brief explosion of a gunshot, and then the girl was lying atop her mother. Another soldier walked calmly toward her, lightly resting a comforting hand on her shoulder.

"C'mon, Riza. Let's go."

Riza didn't move. Her eyes were closed in an effort to stop the tears from falling. She could feel herself shaking.

"I'm sorry, Riza. But this is a war. And things like this have to be done in a war."

"But why? Why do we have to kill innocent children!" Riza demanded, suddenly angry. Angry at herself.

"Because those are our orders, Riza. Let's go."

Riza woke up in a cold sweat, feeling like she was about to cry. She peeked at the clock. 11:53pm. She wasn't going to be getting much more sleep tonight, that was for sure.

And for the life of her, Riza Hawkeye couldn't remember who the man in her dream was.

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"Hawkeye, is something the matter?" Roy asked the next morning as she was delivering him his daily mail. "Are you ill?"

"No, sir. Just a bit tired, that's all," Riza answered, mentally scolding herself for being so readable.

"You should think about getting some sleep, Riza. It'd be good for you."

"Yes, sir." Riza saluted him and walked back over to her desk. She opened her first piece of mail, and read it without any trouble. It was just a short memo about a meeting this week. The next was a report about... Riza groaned. The words and letters looked like fish again. She shook her head violently and tried again. No dice.

"Coffee," she mumbled to herself. "Some coffee and I'll be all better..."

"Did you say something, Hawkeye?" Roy asked lightly. He frowned as he saw Riza's expression. She appeared to be dazed, and she was blinking a lot. She wasn't walking with her usual grace about her, but instead she looked slightly drunk. She looked a bit lost, to put it shortly. He got up from his desk to walk over to her, see if anything was wrong. "Riza?"

"Coffee..." She mumbled, her eyes fluttering shut as she collapsed. Roy moved just fast enough to catch her, his arms wrapping around her slender form just before she hit the floor.

"Riza? Riza! Hey!" Fury poked his head in from behind the door. "Fury, get a nurse, fast!"

"Yes, sir!" Fury practically yelled in panic, racing off to find the nearest girl in a white suit.

"Riza..." Roy lifted her up--she was heavier than she looked, he noted-- and sat her down in his big comfy chair, the closest thing he had to a bed. It wasn't much, but Riza didn't seem to mind. She was unconcious, after all. Seconds later, Fury returned with a disheveled-looking nurse. Roy presumed that Fury had probably near-dragged the woman here. His subordinates were like family, really. They really cared about one another, and this was just another example that proved it. Roy smiled.

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"Don't worry, sir. She isn't ill. She was just tired. She looks like she hasn't slept in days, you know. As her commanding officer, I expect you to find out what's wrong and send her straight to me if it's something serious, got that?" The nurse said seriously as she left the room. It didn't take long for Riza to wake up, and Roy didn't want to waste any time finding out what was bothering Riza. He'd never seen her look so vulnerable and messed up since the Ishbal War. This must be serious.

"Riza, are you awake?" He asked gently. Riza rubbed her eyes and let out a sleepy moan.

"What happened?" She mumbled almost incoherently. Roy motioned for Fury and the others to leave, and they complied by shutting the door as they went out, but the worried expressions never left their faces.

"You passed out. Riza, what's going on? This hasn't happened before." Riza began to tell him that nothing was wrong, but was quickly cut off by Roy's fingers on her lips. "Riza, as your commanding officer and your friend, I order you to tell me what's wrong."

Riza sighed. "I told you, Roy. I haven't been sleeping well." Roy's dark eyes were still trained on her expectantly, waiting for her to go on. "I keep having nightmares again. About Ishbal. About those kids, and then I hear the screaming and the explosions and I can see the fires and the dead people everywhere and I hate it!" She burst out, her eyes filling with tears. She cursed herself for those tears, but even Riza Hawkeye was susceptible to the fact that tired, sleepy eyes were more prone to tears than well-rested ones. She gave in to the urge and started crying.

"Kami..." Roy whispered, gently hugging her as she buried her face in his chest. He held her close and listened to her cry, stroking her hair in comfort.

"All those children! How could we have done those things, Roy? How could we..." Riza shook harder.

"Shh, it's okay," Roy whispered.

"No! It's not okay!" She glared at him. "It's not okay at all!"

"No," Roy sighed. "You're right. It's not okay that we did those things, whether or not they were orders. But what's done is done. We can't change that. All we can do is hope that somehow, someday we'll be forgiven."

They sat like that for awhile, arms wrapped around each other as they cried softly together. When they had finally calmed down and wiped their wet eyes, they smiled at each other.

"Thanks, Roy," she said thankfully, kissing him gently. "I needed that."

"I know, Riza. I think I did too."

And that night, Riza Hawkeye slept quite soundly.

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Don't forget to review, please! It makes me happy!

Isn't royai lovely? We need more of it. Yup yup.

Ashuton-chan