Disclaimer: The characters and places in this fanfic belong to those lucky bastards at Square Enix who don't want to a FFVII remake. In other words, not mine. I'm broke, for the love of Cloud, don't sue me!

A/N: I am honored, and extremely grateful for your support. Thank you so much for being patient and loyal to this crazy fanfic. As I mentioned before, and I know you probably don't remember because I take forever to update… -.-;; … this is a flashback that continues from chapter nine. In addition, notice that Cloud's speech to AVALANCHE is taken directly from the FFVII script, I decided to use it because it works in favor of this fanfic and basically points out a few things between CloTi. Also, I can finally use my FAVORITE FFVII quote... try to guess which one it is, I think its obvious aye?

"All life on this planet, indeed the very life of this planet is in our hands..." - Red XIII

Chapter X: A reason to Fight

He was scared. What had he and Tifa done? What will happen now? Now that none of their lives were safe? He couldn't stop thinking about Tifa and the moment they shared, it was replaying itself over and over in his head. He was feeling guilty and maybe some regret, was it regret? Regret that he didn't pursue it sooner? Their friendship will never be the same, and if it ends, he doesn't think he'll be able to handle it.

As the group walked with him to the Highwind, he looked to the northeast where what might look like a shooting star to the rest of the world, but was in fact a world ending phenomenon headed straight towards the planet. How was Holy going to stop it? Was Sephiroth that powerful? How could they hope to defeat such a being? That kind of power was beyond him. Questions, questions…

If Aeris would have been with them, she could explain things better to him. Her absence was missed and it was filled by awkward silences…she would always bring up the most unexpected things with no signs of embarrassment. In their short journey together they were raided by a group of poisonous beasts which left everyone in the group dozing with sleepiness, when they had finally killed the monsters, Aeris said "look on the bright side, we could finally get some sleep." Everybody had been so shocked and tired that everyone looked at her in disbelief, Aeris of course simply shrugged and smiled as she started to cure them all…laughter from the whole group soon followed.

Cloud was smiling at the memory as they stopped on the bridge of the Highwind. All his comrades stood there looking at him…the leader. He didn't think he was a good one, but they were following him and he was determined to do what he felt was right; this was after all, his fight. He understood why he was fighting, but he wanted the group to make sure they were fighting for not necessarily the right reasons but at least reasons of their own.

"Shinra's…finished" said Cait Sith sadly. No one knew what to say, because it was true. News that Rufus Shinra had died traveled fast, so Shinra employees were technically done for.

Cloud turned the huge bay window. He had to keep them on track. "Meteor's gonna fall in about…" he turned looking at Red XIII who looked down in sadness as he shook his head.

"Seven more days. That's what grandfather said."

"Red XIII…You want to see everyone in Cosmo Canyon again?" asked Cloud in a serious manner. Red XIII nodded, his head still lowered but glaring at the blond as he continued more excitedly…

Cloud turned to Barrett who was looking at the horizons outside the windows as if in a daze…

"You want to see Marlene, right?" Cloud asked.

"Don't ask me that"…trailed Barrett.

"We'll beat Sephiroth...then, if we don't release the power of Holy in seven days there won't be a planet left to protect." Added Cloud as the group slowly started looking at him seriously.

"If we can't beat Sephiroth...It's as good as death for us. We'll just go a few days sooner than the rest who'll die from Meteor." said Cloud.

At those words Barrett let his temper get the best of him. Why is Cloud always talking like that he thought? "Don't be thinkin' you're gonna lose before ya even fight!" he said. Cloud really knew how to irritate him.

"No! What I meant was…" said Cloud as he turned to the rest of the group. "What are we all fighting for? I want us all to understand that. Save the planet...for the future of the planet... Sure, that's all fine but really, is that really how it is?" he took a few steps forward while looking at Tifa from the corner of his eyes. She was looking at him with awe, he could tell that his words were having impact on not only her, but the rest of AVALANCHE as well.

"For me, this is a personal feud. I want to beat Sephiroth. And settle my past; saving the planet just happens to be a part of that. I've been thinking…" Cloud added more to himself than anyone… "I think we all are fighting for ourselves. For ourselves... and that someone... something... whatever it is, that's important to us. That's what we're fighting for. That's why we keep up this battle for the planet."

It was quiet for about 10 second until Barrett finally spoke.

"You're right...It sounds cool sayin' it's to save the planet, but I was the one who blew up that Mako reactor, lookin' back on it now, I can see that wasn't the right way to do things. I made a lot of friends and innocent bystanders suffer..."

The group could tell it was hard for Barrett to give voice to his feelings. "At first, it was for revenge against Shinra for attackin' my town. But now...yeah, I'm fightin' for Marlene. For Marlene...for Marlene's future…I guess I want to save the planet for Marlene's sake..." he finished as he patted Cloud's shoulder.

"Go and see her. Make sure you're right, and come back." said Cloud, shocking everyone. This is where he wanted to tell them. "All of you. Get off the ship and find out your reasons for yourselves. I want you to make sure. Then I want you to come back."

"Maybe ain't none of us'll come back. Meteor's just gonna kill us all anyway. Let's just forget any useless struggling!" said Cid.

Somehow, Cloud knew the foul mouthed man was going to say that. He nodded and once again tried to get the group to understand.

"I know why I'm fighting. I'm fighting to save the planet, and that's that. But besides that there's something personal too...a very personal memory that I have.

"What about you all? I want all of you to find that something within yourselves. If you don't find it, then that's okay too. You can't fight without a reason, right? So, I won't hold it against you if you don't come back." finished Cloud. Everybody understood what he was trying to get across, somehow they all knew what he was saying was true, but having to actually face that particular truth was terrifying. They all nodded as each and everyone of the group members exited the Highwind to find their reasons… all except two childhood friends.

With everyone gone, the silence that followed was inevitable. Cloud found Tifa gazing out of those large windows, as pensive as he'd been moments ago. He didn't know what to say, she looked so distant and unreachable… and the thought that they were alone on such a huge ship was distracting. He decided it wasn't time to think about those things and began talking to her.

"What are you going to do, Tifa?""

She turned to him very stiffly and thought a few moments before answering…

"Did you forget? I'm... all alone. I don't have anywhere to go."

What the hell was he supposed to say to that? It was true though he sadly thought… "Hey Tifa, come down with me…" Cloud asked as he gestured for her hand. She gently placed her hand in his and was pulled as Cloud lead the way.

They were down on a beautiful green hill. Tifa was still very deep in thought as she watched the sunset approach. She couldn't believe they were alone… it was a very eerie feeling… she stated it aloud to further convince herself.

"Everyone's gone..."

"Yeah, we don't have anywhere or anyone to go home to." said Cloud.

"You're right..." paused Tifa…"But... I'm sure someday... they'll come back, don't you think?" she said half laughing and half hoping it would be in seven days.

Cloud shrugged as he crossed his arms on his chest, "Hmm... I wonder...everyone has an irreplaceable something they're holding on to…but this time, our opponent..."

He paused as the sounds of the wind halted for a brief moment.

"Hmm... But that's all right, even if no one comes back. As long as I'm with you...as long as you're by my side...I won't give up even if I'm scared." she said, shocking him.

Hearing her say that, with such intensity made him stare at her and uncross his arms. She was serious too, looking at him with no shyness or embarrassment like the night before.

"Tifa…"

She put her arms over her head. The emotions continued to boil up inside her, she couldn't understand what was going on, but she needed to let it out. "No matter how close we were... We were far apart... before this, but when we were in the Lifestream surrounded by all those screams of anguish, I thought I heard your voice..."

She closed her eyes, tears filling her eyes. Her arms fell to her sides and she bowed her head and sniffles escaped her. "You probably don't remember this...but deep in my heart I heard you calling my name...or at least I thought I did..."

Of course he remembered, if it wouldn't been for her voice he would have stayed in that stage, vegetable like or maybe dead. "Yeah... At that time I heard you calling me. You were calling me back in from the stream of consciousness in the Lifestream."

Cloud lowered his head nodding, remembering the few things he could. "After all, I promised. That if anything were to ever happen to you, I would come to help."

"Cloud...? Do you think the stars can hear us?" said Tifa, gazing out at the millions of stars quickly becoming visible. "Do you think they see how hard we're fighting for them?"

Cloud followed her gaze and then looked at her as the wind blew her hair in easy motions, she had such long hair, such wonderful hair… "I dunno...but…whether they are or not, we still have to do what we can. And believe in ourselves...someday we'll find the answer. Right, Tifa? That's what I learned from you when I was in the Lifestream."

Tifa couldn't help but grin and look at him. He seemed to always say the right things just when she needed to hear them. "Yeah...that's right..."

Cloud stared off into the distance just like she was. He turned away from her slightly and lowered his head. He wanted to say so many things…like always. He just could never say them. He wanted to talk about what happened earlier…what they shared and what it meant for their "future" if there was any…

Cloud remembered admiring her like that as a kid. How much he liked her back then; she was the only kid in Neibelheim to even look at him with a smile. When they were fourteen they had developed a very quiet relationship, he wanted to ask her to wait for him that night at the well, but as always it was always never when it came to Tifa Lockhart… and he would always chicken out. "Hey, Tifa…I…" maybe this is his chance to..." there are a lot of things I wanted to talk to you about." He said shaking his head slowly. "But now that we're together like this, I don't know what I really wanted to say...I guess nothing's changed at all...kind of makes you want to laugh..." Even after all this time, he can't admit to Tifa Lockhart, that he likes her.

Tifa thought she knew what he was trying to say, she was nervous because they still hadn't really talked about what had happened the day before, but honestly, did they really need to talk about what had happened? Sometimes things are not meant to be said because there is always a type of understanding between people.

"Cloud... Words aren't the only things that tell people what you're thinking..."

Cloud looked at her but she continued to stare into space. She straightened her hair again with one hand and kept cool. How could she just say the most amazing thing anyone has ever said to him and stay still like that?

"…"

He wanted to kiss her. But the courage that alcohol gave him was not in his system this evening…and afterall, this was Tifa Lockhart.

Spending seven days together was not what he expected. Tifa was very distant but he couldn't blame her because so was he. In actuality his predicament had started to unfold more clearly because he had so much alone time to think about it. The more he thought about it the more depressed he became.

He could have saved so many people…he could have saved Aeris, maybe even...no. He decided not to even go there. Even after everything that had happened to him, and AVALANCHE, since that day his thoughts were always drawn to that moment. Her death and the impact that it had on all of them was incredibly overwhelming. It was funny how he knew her for such a short period of time, but her memory is implanted as if he had known her for years.

The days passed in the blink of an eye and through it all, Tifa and he still weren't talking. He could lie and say it wasn't driving him insane but only lunatics lied to themselves. Tomorrow would be the day when everyone "will" come back… at least that was the plan. Who would come back he asked himself? He was hoping with all his might they would all reunite once more, God knew he was terrified and he also knew that he couldn't face the world's enemy alone. He was distracted as Tifa passed by him down to the Highwind's meeting lounge.

He needed everyone back. As he saw her fix a drink with her skilled hands he got even more terrified. Could he protect her alone? He couldn't deal with letting anybody else die… especially not her, not now. That would be the end of him… he would personally punish himself if he let a scratch get on her skin. His eyes were drawn to her questioning stare, which screamed what are you staring at.

"What?" she asked a bit apprehensively. He just shook his head in response but still did not take his gaze away from her. She brushed a few strands on the back of her right ears as a small blush began to redden her cheeks. Were they ever going to talk about what happened? These preceding days had been hell for her. Especially since she barely slept, she always found herself thinking about him and the way she wanted him to touch her again, to freely kiss him again just like she had on that night… to have him – she quickly shook her head to rid herself of unwanted thoughts, especially because he was gazing at her as if he could read her mind. She really did get embarrassed and the little blush quickly turned into a full force one.

Tifa needed to get away from him and… her thoughts; and she had the perfect idea how. She had found a sleeping bag in Cid's closet and decided to sleep outside that night and enjoy the stars, at least one more time if they were to be destroyed by meteor… or him.

Tomorrow is judgment day for them, was the rest of AVALANCHE going to return? Or would Cloud and she have to face Sephiroth alone, and would it be enough to ignite Holy?

"Teef-"

She stopped as she was heading down the rope stairs carrying the big backpack on her back, desperately trying to get away from him and not meet his gorgeous blue orbs, she answered in a slight turn of her head not exactly meeting his eyes.

"Yes Cloud?"

"Do you need help with that?"

"No. I can manage thanks" she answered and started going down again. In the speed of light that she felt the bag easily be removed from her back and onto Clouds hands.

"It's ok, I'll get it for you."

Women! She's crazy if he was going to let her take this huge bag down, it was pretty heavy. Or maybe he just didn't want to be alone and at least have her company for at least a bit longer.

When they reached the bottom of the hill it was silent and the air became still with awkwardness. What did this mean? Was their friendship over? This time it was Cloud who sighed and inhaled the fresh air coming from North Corel.

"So…where do you want this?" He asked, breaking their uncomfortable silence.

"Right here is fine" she answered motioning aside where she was standing.

Walking beside her and dropping the backpack he was curious on what was actually in the bag. "What's in here anyway?"

"A sleeping bag, I'm going to sleep out here tonight" she said happily. As soon as she met his gaze her smile vanished, she also go irritated at the fact that he stopped himself from releasing the bag as he was placing it where she indicated.

"Are you crazy? What about monsters, weapons, or creatures that can give you weariness"? he said while looking around angrily.

"I can handle it. Thanks. Now you can drop the bag right here or right there where you're at, I'm not worried"

"Tifa, I'm not letting you stay here by yourself! Either I stay with you or you come back with me to the Highwind."

The words had come out the wrong way. He did not mean to sound so controlling. These thoughts crossed Cloud as he saw Tifa's face of disbelief. She pouted first and then squinted her eye brows in an angry look. Even though he was mad, her face expressions were the cutest he has ever seen on her. Who was he kidding? Tifa didn't say anything else to him; she simply crossed her arms to her chest and patted her foot on the soil as she waited for him to drop the bag.

"I'll go get another sleeping bag then…"

"There aren't anymore and you really don't need to sleep here. I mean I know you don't think I can handle a few monsters…but I honestly can. Trust me."

Trust her? If only she knew! "Tifa it's not that I don't think you can handle it, but – I…I worry about you too you know" he said defeated.

She grabbed the bag from him and undid it as he watched her in disbelief. Didn't she hear a word he said? He just said he worries about her! That is something were to happen to her while she's under his care he would literally go insane! Why couldn't she see that? She just simply fixed the sleeping bag, removed her boots and sat down looking at him. She just started back at him with a cross smile as he looked back with confusion.

"Well? Are you coming or not?" she said.

He looked sideways in confusion and shrugged his eyes in question. His expression cleared when Tifa patted the space next to her inviting him to sit next to her. That was very dangerous, being so close to her and his thoughts running wild, remembering that night. His face turned serious as he started moving towards her. As soon as he got close enough, her jasmine scent filled his senses just like they always do. He swore she must always carry a bottle with her, just to purposely drive him crazy.

It was silent for a while and the only thing heard was the soft breeze blowing. He didn't know if it was just the proximity but he noticed the slightest things about her. He noticed her nails which were short and clean but were feminine and tiny, but big enough to punch the crap out of anybody who messed with her. She has a very small beauty mark between her collar bone and neck. He noticed how her hair is completely straight but oddly curves on its end. He noticed her eyes, how they were milk chocolate but when hit by sunlight they become an almost burning ruby red…how her cheeks…how her cheeks are extremely red! Did she have a fever?

He raised his hand and felt her temperature on her forehead. "Tifa are you ok? Your face is flushed but I don't feel abnormal temperature…"

Tifa angrily removed his hand from her forehead. "It's because you're looking at me like that!" she said embarrassingly looking away. What was wrong with him anyway? All these days acting like he doesn't even remember what happened…but then she catches him constantly giving her those gazes!

"…."

"You regret it don't you?" he said looking away.

Her face spun around in disbelief. "Is that what you think? I thought…" she trailed, but looked at him who was waiting for her to continue… "I made it clear to you that I have none. N-no, regrets that is…"

"….."

"Cloud…"

Just when he thought the woman before him couldn't give anymore surprises… "Yes…?"

"Can I kiss you?"

She will surely be the end of him. He's wanted to kiss since he last stopped kissing her. And here she was asking him if she could kiss him instead? This wasn't right…but he'll be dammed if denied her what she was asking. He couldn't really speak from shock but managed a nod as an answer.

It was Tifa who initiated the kiss this time. She stood up on her knees and bent them enough to be facing him on the same height. He is so handsome, she thought as placed her hands on the side of his ears almost behind his head. Her fingers smoothed over his surprisingly soft spikes as her face slowly met his and lips met lips. If she was going to die, she will have this moment. She will kiss him like this, how she wanted. She felt his hands on her waist as they pulled her closer to him causing her to deepen her tongue in his mouth. She wanted to die like this, she would die happy...like this...

As their kiss intensified Cloud lost balance and the kiss was abruptly broken as he fell back. He was intoxicated and was breathing hard, praying for some type of control of the situation. He knew this would be dangerous…he started getting up but Tifa laughed and saddled him in position. He raised himself up with his elbows and smiled back at her. She looked nice as she was he though…laughing…on top of him like that. He prayed for control again and hoped to Gaia that she wouldn't get freaked out if she feels his…predicament. Tifa grabbed her white shirt and pulled it over her head, revealing her white cotton bra and her four pack abs. Yes, she really must have just felt that thought Cloud. This was insane and exhilarating at the same time. Control went to hell.

He pulled her to him and she obliged. Their kissing went on for what seemed like forever…Clouds hands were itching to touch but he refused to touch her in all the places he wanted. His hands started trembling as she planted small trails of his kisses on his neck and shoulders. As if on cue Tifa softly whispered on his ears that it was okay to touch her…

"I want you to"

She wants to kiss him, she wants him to touch her. She wants to KILL HIM is more like it!

"Tifa…" he groaned as she took off his shirt, more quickly than he meant. The cool air hit his bare back and made him suck in more air which intoxicated him jasmine and roses…with Tifa. He cursed in frustration and was about to grab her waist to switch positions but was slammed back in place by the woman who was driving him crazy. He was shocked for about a second until Tifa smiled and winked at him as a sign to keep stay in place.

She undid his pants slowly, just for extra affect. Cloud was very impatient and must be taught some self control thought Tifa as she noticed him mesmerized with her hands and how they loosened his Zipper. With a look like that, even her self control went to hell, he noticed and took the opportunity to yank for the second time her skirt over her head. He kissed her slowly though and maneuvered his hand to the back of her bra. He had imagined taking off her bra so many times already it came off as if it was second nature to him. One day he'll tell that, he'll tell her everything he's wanted to say…but not now as he kissed her where he imagined, daydreamed, dreamed, fantasized, hoped to kiss her…this time he'll be slow with her. No matter how crazy or insane she'll drive him.

It was unreal. There under billions of stars, feeling Cloud inside her, her heart was somersaulting, so many different feelings and waves of pleasure. It was so different this time, it was slow, beautiful and almost fantasy like.

He started shaking and breathing harder as she rose to meet him, never in his life will he forget this. He's invincible, the woman under him thought so too, and as he heighten her climax and his own, hearing her crying out his name…he swore that he will make sure that what she thinks of him, becomes reality.

The breeze was perfect. The temperature was perfect. The woman sleeping next to him with his shirt wrapped around her surprisingly small body was…perfect. He can't die, if he dies, he fails, and she will follow, he couldn't have that. She needs to live and laugh and have beautiful children that look like her. That's why he won't fail; he has plenty of reasons to not let himself fail.

He knew she couldn't hear him, but it was more to himself he was promising, "Tifa…I wont lose…I promise" said Cloud Strife as he dozed off to a peaceful sleep, finally.

Cloud always wakes up before dawn, that morning was no different. His Mako eyes shot open and quickly took in all his surroundings, he stirred and looked down at Tifa who was shivering a bit from the cold. He took her shirt and was able to put it on her without waking her up. He had learned that she was a very heavy sleeper compared to himself who would wake up with a drop of a needle.

He dressed himself and managed to find courage in putting Tifa's clothes on as well. It was one of the single most embarrassing things to do…but she was freezing! He had to do something, and waking her up was out of the question. When he was done he still found a piece of clothing which belonged to Tifa. There was no way in hell he was going to put this stuff on her; one thing was imagining taking it off but putting her bra ON was something he never fantasized about. He raised her up putting his hand around her waist and shoulders which made her head lay softly on his shoulder. After he felt her shivering die a bit, he was able to relax and actually dozed off again. He woke up and the first rays of sun light could be seen from the horizon.

"It's almost dawn…"

"H-huh…" said a groggy Tifa not opening her eyes.

"Sorry, did I wake you? It's almost dawn, Tifa"…said Cloud while looking at her, still a bit groggy himself.

She lifted her head from his shoulder and also took a look at her surroundings…then looked back at him "Umm... good morning Cloud. Give me a little longer... Just a little bit longer..." and plops her head back to his shoulders. "This day will never come again... So let me have this moment..."

Whatever you want Tifa he thought as he nodded and let her sleep for a while longer…"This is probably the last time we'll have together..." he said more to himself than her, she was after all, Tifa Lockhart… the only girl he will always be shy around, the girl that everybody boy wanted back in Neibelheim, the girl he was too weak for, and the one he could never have all to himself. He understood all of that, that's why he will always have that moment as well...

End Flashback….

"You're still such a gaddam fuckin' weirdo Spike!" said Cid as he punched Cloud on his right arm. "Still spacin' out like a moron! I'd think you'd grow out of that already, you damn well still piss me off!"

Rubbing his now hurt arm, Cloud gave Cid a killer look which Cid didn't even flinch to. Bastard, thought Cloud as he reminded himself to never again leave without his buster sword, no matter how friendly the environment might be.

"You's guys should tell the girls is three AM. I bet they don't know what time it is." Said Barrett with a loud yawn. "Eitha way, I'm out fo' the night, this vacation ain't what I though it was gonna be."

"Wow! So that was your first time? Gosh I had no ide-"

"Sshhhhh! Yuffie! Can you say it louder? I don't think Cosmo Canyon heard you." said an angry Tifa.

"I'm so sorry. It's just that It's so surprising to me."

"But Tifa, what happened afterwards…Cloud and you just separated?" asked Shera a bit concerned.

"After Holy and Meteor and- well all of that…we just…yeah we just went our separate ways." Explained Tifa with a painful look. "I mean, maybe Cloud and I, I mean, maybe what went on with us was a spur of the moment thing…maybe what he needed to get his mind of the whole situation…I…I mean maybe I did help him with his turmoil…" continued Tifa more to herself.

"How can you say that?" said Yuffie! "Cloud would never use you like that! I can't believe you actually would think such bullshit!"

"Yuffie!" said Shera in an almost Maternal way. "Don't talk like that! Especially to Tifa…she's sharing what happened is she not?"

"I know Shera, but Cloud is crazy about her. He always is, even back then. Yeah he's a pain in the ass and can never have his stuff together but that's who he is, is it not?" Said Yuffie looking at Tifa.

Tifa was blushing and was sort of speechless. "I don't know Yuffie, I thought I knew who Cloud was and how to understand him, but back then, after everything…everything took its toll on me too…I honestly wasn't even thinking of seeing him again…and now it's so hard to stop looking at him" said Tifa, emotions rooming on her face... "I don't know what to do..."

"Tell him you're in love with him" said Shera sternly. Both Yuffie and even a tearing Tifa looked at her in disbelief. "I'm serious, why not? How do you think I got Cid to ask me out? You think I waited for that slow idiot to come to realization? No ser-ry…when it comes to certain men we have to make the first move."

"I think Cid was right, you really are crazy" said Tifa cleaning off her tears while composing herself.

A/N II: Yes. I'm alive and kickin' and still in love with FFVII. It took almost two years to update this, there is no excuse for being so late so I wont bore you with the 'whys'. I can only ask that you take me back with this update. I have the next chapter, needs editing but very much completed. This site has changed so much huh? Now with BETA readers and all that good stuff. I like. Change is always good. And thank yous are even better, so THANK YOU bows for keeping up with me after all this time... Gracias, Arigato, Danke, Mercy... thank you.

PS: One more thing: are there any FFVII BETA readers out there that can help a sistah out? Let me know... ja!

PPS: Thank you lozarus for giving me the extra kick I needed, and to Ben... for encouraging me with my writing, no matter how much I think I suck. Arigato.