Author: burningnightmare 59 PM
This is a suggestive title. Take it wherever you want.--- Kalas goes on a hunt for the Lost Ocean. But that's the easy part...Rated: Fiction K+ - English - Parody/Humor - Chapters: 2 - Words: 1,504 - Reviews: 41 - Favs: 3 - Updated: 05-07-05 - Published: 04-27-05 - id: 2370251
|A+ A- Full 3/4 1/2 Expand Tighten|
I don't own Baten Kaitos. Deal with it. And review.Chapter 2: Friends and Family
Kalas returned to his home, unsure of where to go from here. He pulled out his player's guide. But then he remembered that they had never made one.
His house was finally put out. The local Fire Deprivation Squad was just riding over the distant hill, playing their theme song on kazoos. The house was a total mess of smoke and ash: the planks were charred, the new upholstery was ruined, and a pillar of smoke rose from the concaved roof. Kalas went inside to sit down and read the paper.
With the day's paper (QUEEN CORELLIA'S BABY HAS WHAT?) safely tucked under his arm, he swept away some smoke, and nearly gagged at what was sitting in his chair.
It was absolutely hideous. A weird, mask-like thing seemed to be covering its face. The strange clothing it wore could only mean one thing…
"Hi! I'm Lyude! I'm not evil!" it said.
"Nice place you have here. Of course, not as fancy as what I'm used to, being in the Imperial Ranks."
"Aren't the Imperials fascist, left-wing dictators who would like nothing better than to watch all of us squirm in pain?" Kalas asked.
"Of course not! They're not evil! What ever gave you that idea?" Lyude answered.
Kalas caught sight of another man, whacking things with a paddle, which squirted water. Standing in a corner staring at the wall was a woman with a green, skintight suit. She didn't seem to be moving or breathing.
"What are you all doing!" roared Kalas.
"I thought it was pretty obvious," said the man, continuing to whack things.
"There has been a disturbance," said the woman.
"No, no! Who are you people?" Kalas yelled back, frustrated.
"I'm Gibari. That's Savyna, there in the corner. And, you've already met Lyude, who is not evil, by the way," the man said calmly, moving on from whacking the fireplace to the coffee table.
"We must be cautious of ourselves if we are to be living," Savyna mumbled into the wall.
"What's up with her?" Kalas questioned.
"She got lost in translation," Gibari replied calmly, whacking Kalas over the head with the paddle. Then, Gibari became bored with that paddle and preceded to switch to a flaming paddle.
As he got up from the floor, Kalas saw two other characters across the room, throwing cards at each other. A stranger looking one was hovering in the air, while the other was flying a few feet above the ground on pink wings.
"Fire Burst!" yelled the girl, tossing a card at the hovering midget. The card flew into a hole in the smaller one's mask where it exploded.
"Hi, Kalas!" said the girl as the other in the mask flittered to the ground. As its lifeless body hit the ground, it was taken into a dimension hole and disappeared. "I'm Xella. I think I just killed Mizuti."
"What are you all doing here?" Kalas sighed, exasperated.
They stared at him for a moment. Gibari even stopped whacking things. "Well," he said, "the player's guide said to come here."
"They never made a player's guide," said Kalas.
"Oh. Oops," replied Gibari, knocking Xella upside the head.
Then, music began drifting through the windows. It sounded familiar…Everyone looked at Gibari. His flaming paddle had started the fire again.
"Oh, no! It's the FDS's kazoos! Scatter!" shouted Xella.
"Why? What's so bad about the-" Then, a torrent of water streamed in through the windows, knocking Kalas back into the wall.
"Ugh, the second time today!" scoffed Lyude, who is not evil.
"Hey, Kalas!" said Xella. "I found a letter for you."
"What? Where?" Kalas asked.
"It was stuffed in the player's guide," she answered.
"But there was no- ugh…what does it say?"
"It's from the High Supreme Lord Rulers of the World Council."
"Oh? What do they want?"
"'Dear Kalas: We have just been informed that a giant nuclear missile has been launched toward the world…whatever this world is called. Anyway, it would be really really great if you and your friends would go and find out where it came from because the player's guide says so. Thanks, The High Supreme Lord Rulers of the World Council,'" Xella read to them.
"Well, okay, everyone. If you won't go away, I guess you can come with me," Kalas said.
"Yaay!" said Xella.
"All right!" said Gibari raising his paddle.
"Yes!" said Lyude.
"It is satisfying to think of the eight of us traveling as one group," said Savyna.
Yaay! I finished the second chapter! Now, the least you can do is review it!