Just What We All Need

Jack was steering the Black Pearl all the way from Port Royal. They had been sailing for two days, and they were day away from the small island of Tortuga. All of the sudden a WHOOSH! followed by a large THUD! sound and a gasp coming from the crew.

"Cap'n," Mr. Gibbs said, walking over to the poop deck. "some girl came from the sky and fell on the deck."

Jack looked up from his compass just in time to see Maralina Suella.

"What's your name, missy? And where the bloody 'ell are you from?"

Maralina's emerald green eyes flashed.

"Me? Why I'm Maralina Suella Harkinian - I mean, Turner, and I come from Hyrule, er, Port Royal. Most people call me-"

"Mary Sue? Not another one," Jack said, rubbing his temple. "Why are you on my ship?"

Mary Sue looked at him. "Well, Jackie, I've come to marry you, considering I'm your best friend, Will Turner's, sister-"

Jack cut her off again. "What part of 'that is the son of Bootstrap Bill Turner - his only child. Savvy?' Did you not understand? Men," he eyed Anamaria. "and woman, get me some rope, tie it from one end of the ship to the other making sure the rope goes under the ship; we're going to torture her."

Anamaria tied the rope from behind the poop deck. "How?"

Jack smiled his famous smile. "Keelhaul. Throw her in. I want her screaming bloody murder."

And so Maralina Suella Whatever-the-hell-her-last-name-was was not found again.

That is until she reincarnated as another sue.

"JACK!"

"DADDY!"

"He's mine."

"Sweet Mary of God. Get 'em off a me! Gibbs! Anamaria! Do something!"

A not-so-happy-ending to this story.

This is done. YAY!

... And yes, I did not write Jack's accent phonetically; I do it horribly and would not wish for you to see that. So, since I'm sure you've seen the movie, you know how he sounds.

... Even though while I was writing this at work, I did say all his dialouge in his accent.

I'm still not sure.

If something's wrong please, please, please tell me.

Review!