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Chapter 6: Wu Zi Mu

Wu Zi Mu, leader of the Mountain Cloud Boys of the Chinese Triad was blind. After that moronic Red Gecko had been showing off his sword as Woozie walked by, he had been left wearing sunglasses the rest of his life. He was sitting in a casino, The Four Dragons, in Las Venturas, and was talking to Su Zi Mu when there was a crash, and something landed on his desk. Hard.

"Boss!' Suzie yelled, and Woozie heard Suzie pull out his .45 handgun, "are you all right?".

"Of course," Woozie said. "What happened?". He felt around the table, feeling warm flesh. "A cop crashed through the window," Suzie said.

What Woozie did not see was the cyborg outside killing more cops.

5 minutes later

Woozie was explaining to the cops what had happened. Or, more appropriatly, Suzie was explaining. Woozie was trying to explain, but his hatred for the law and lack of knowledge of what happened due to his blindness required Suzie to help his boss understand everything and make sure Woozie didn't kill the cops in fear.

Suzie was in the middle of explaing what he saw outside when the cop's head suddenly fell off his shoulders. Woozie stood behind him, holding a sword.

"Boss! What the hell are you doing?" Suzie asked. "The cop was suspicious of our illegal operations," Woozie said. "I had no choice". Woozie was obviously going a little nuts. There was even a thin line of saliva dripping from his mouth.

The other cops pulled their 9mms. "FREEZE!" they shouted. Woozie turned. "YOU WANT SOME TOO?" he charged, katana at the ready.

As the bullets sped toward him, Woozie waved his sword like crazy, the shots pinging off the blade. One bullet went through an officer's cheek, sending blood squirting from his mouth.

Woozie ducked, spun, and swung his sword upward, slicing a cop's face half off. He continued his spin, stabbing another in the heart. Woozie swung his sword to the left, nearly slicing him in half and stabbed another cop through the mouth. Two more officers, in their attempts to stop the crazed, blind Chinaman, accidently shot each other point blank in the face.

The last cop dropped his gun and ran, screaming like a girl all the way.

Suzie walked over to his blood-stained boss. "Boss, we have to get the hell out of here before more cops come!". Woozie sheathed his sword. "Yes. We will go now," he said.

They were almost to their dark green Admiral when a police car and two FBI Ranchers sped into the parking lot.

The cops and FBI agents had barely cleared their vehicles when Suzie drew two MAC-11 submachine guns. He aimed at the congregration of police and government agents and fired. The cop car burst into flames from a number of bullets to it's engine, while the FBI agents shook like they had live wires stuffed up their asses from the hail of metal.

Suzie ran out of ammo, and the only sound was the crackling of flames and the clink of bullet casings on the cement. With this done, he led Woozie to the Admiral.

5 minutes later

The Admiral turned off the highway and onto the Gant Bridge. Barely onto the huge, red bridge spanning the harbor, an Enforcer drove over the median and behind them.

"Shit, we have the SWAT Team on us," Suzie said. Woozie picked up an M16 from the floor of the car. "I'll take care of them," he growled.

Woozie and Suzie ducked as bullets shattered their rear window. A SWAT officer was leaning out the window, firing an MP5. Woozie pointed the rifle out of the shattered window and fired in the general direction of the Enforcer. The bullets were grossly inaccurate, but one managed to hit the officer in the middle of his forehead. He dropped his gun and slumped over the door. The body's hand moved the door handle, opening the door and sending him rolling down the bridge.

The Enforcer moved closer to the Admiral and bumped it from behind. The 4-door swerved all over the road, almost smashing into a Euros sports car.

Woozie searched the floor for more weapons and put his hand on a grenade. He found the pin and tossed it out the remains of the rear window. The grenade rolled under and behind the Enforcer before exploding. The truck was jarred from the explosion and turned into the other lane. It hit a Manana head on, sending the tiny car flying into the bay. As the driver managed to right the Enforcer, he noticed a Linerunner heading straight toward him.

A huge fireball rose on the bridge as the two large trucks hit head on. The Admiral continued on it's way into San Fiero.

30 seconds later

The Admiral was driving by Jizzy's club when 4 cop cars drove up behind it.

"Boss, you may want to put on your seatbelt," Suzie said. Before Woozie could question his subordinate, Suzie jerked the wheel to the right and into the parking lot at Jizzy's. Woozie barely managed to hang on and grab his seatbelt. The 4 police cruisers followed.

What followed was a deadly ballet. Suzie barely avoided a Hermes pulling out of the parking lot and spun his car 180 degrees. The cop cars surrounded his car. Suzie picked up an MP5-K and did a full 360 degree turn, firing his submachine gun out the window. The bullets hit the hoods of the cop cars, creating a shower of sparks. Suzie drove at full speed toward one of the cars, causing it to quickly back away.

He finally stopped on the edge of the parking lot. Not to be outdone, the police car suddenly pulled the same manuever. Suzie turned right, putting the cop car in front of him. He drove forward and slammed into the police officer, sandwiching it between the Admiral and a support of the Gant Bridge. He then drove backwards at full speed, spinning 180 degrees and pulling away from the building, into the road.

A dump truck swerved out of the way of the crazy 4-door and hit a cop car that tried to follow the Chinamen. The cop car flipped end-over-end before stopping on it's side on the grass.

Suzie slammed on the brakes and drove away from Jizzy's and toward the airport. The other two cop cars followed.

The chase was rather quiet until Suzie made it to the airport gates. Out of nowhere, an FBI Rancher drove in front of them. Suzie stopped to avoid hitting the huge black truck. Several FBI Agents exited the vehicle, pointing AKS-74U rifles at them. One of them was holding a Ruger Redhawk revolver, and shouted through a bullhorn.

"Enough is enough, chinks!" he shouted, his voice magnified. "Step out of the car, drop your weapons, and lie flat on the ground with your hands over your head, or we will open fire!"

Suzie turned to his boss. "Do as they say, sir. There are too many." Woozie nodded, and they stepped out of the car.

They began dropping there weapons. After about a minute, five Glock 17s, thirteen small revolvers, two M4 assault rifles, a sawn-off M79 grenade launcher, and an M2 machine gun were in a pile on the ground. The FBI agents lowered their weapons, a look of awe on their face. Suzie suddenly said "Oh wait, guys. I have some more in the trunk." He went to the back of the car, but heard bullhorn man cock his revolver. "Not so fast, man. Jerry, go with him and make sure he doesn't try anything funny."

One of the agents walked up and poked Suzie in the back with his rifle. "Walk, chink," he growled. Suzie walked to the trunk at gunpoint and opened it.

In the blink of an eye, Jerry was on the ground, blood streaming from his shattered nose. Suzie reached into the trunk and pulled out a huge 6-barreled Gatling Gun. The FBI agents tried to raise their rifles, but Suzie held down the trigger. A thick stream of metal shot into the Fed's general area. Within seconds, all of the FBI agents dissapeared in a red mist, and their truck instantly exploded in a geyser of flame. Suzie swung around and fired on the cops, simultaneously incinerating and slicing them and their car to bits.

He dropped the smoking gun and both he and Woozie lept into their car. They broke straight through the metal fence and drove onto the tarmac. "Boss, I have a helicopter fueled and ready. It's just around the-"

He stopped. Four Barracks flatbed trucks, loaded to the brim with soldiers drugged up on amphetimines, were rumbling down the tarmac, followed by a tank, two Hunter choppers, and even a crazy hobo in a shopping cart waving a Colt Peacemaker around.

"Holy...shiiitake mushrooms."

Suzie didn't even bother warning his boss. He simply stopped the car, throwing Wu Zi Mu to the floor, and drove backwards, straight at the approaching army.

He spun the wheel about fifty feet away from the trucks and did a 540 spin right between the middle two. The trucks slammed on their brakes and spun around even as the troops lept from the back, a sharp snap resonating as forty safties were clicked off of M-4 carbines. The Admiral stopped in front of the Rhino tank, and as Suzie reversed he drew a Tec-9 from the glove compartment and began firing into the open driver's port. The tank pilot screamed, but was cut short as one of the shells pierced his throat. The bullets that shattered his face bounced throughout the compartment, wounding the crew. One bullet ricocheted up and into the gunner's solar plexus, causing him to fall back. As he fell, he grabbed the gun, hoping to catch himself, but pulled the trigger instead. The 120mm cannon round flew straight into one of the trucks, causing a huge fireball and knocking a quarter of the army to the ground.

The dead pilot's foot on the accelerator, the tank screamed along the airport tarmac at fifty miles per hour, rumbling straight over the second middle truck, smashing the soldiers into red streaks, and continuing on into a Shamal jet, sending up an even bigger fireball that was seen all the way from Mount Chiliad.

Suzie spun the car back and began circling the two remaining trucks, firing out the window with a special magazine. It was loaded with incendiary dum-dum bullets, which smashed into the soldiers, splintering, and lighting the subsequent wound on fire. The troops barely screamed under the drugs, but still fell just as fast. Suzie sprayed the closest truck's engine block, setting it aflame and soon causing it to blow up. The last truck, driven by a very scared and very soiled private, immediatly turned and ran, only to colide with the wreckage of the truck that took the cannon round and flip.

The Admiral easily smashed through the crazy hobo, who never even got off a shot due to the old gunpowder, and continued on toward a white and blue Maverick chopper. Suzie quickly led his blind boss into the helicopter, while he himself climbed into the cockpit and, without and preflight checks, hit the throttle and sent them up.

The two Hunters, piloted by the bravest pilots in San Andreas, only watched, waiting for their Sidewinder missiles to lock onto the tiny civilian helicopter. One of them grinned as the panel lit up, and he hit the button on his stick, letting an air-to-air missile fly. Without warning, the chopper suddenly turned perpendicular to him, presenting it's open side to the missile. The warhead passed harmlessly through the open air, dropping sparks and exhaust into the copter and impacting on a hillside a mile away.

Even scarier then the obviously skilled pilot was what appeared in the open space: A blind Chinaman wielding a Stinger missile launcher. He watched the Triad boss smile as a Stinger flew from his shoulder and straight towards him. The Hunter pilot tried to turn, but the missile landed square on his ordanence rack, completely vaporizing the helicopter. The other Hunter pilot screamed in rage and pulled the red trigger on his joystick, firing his 20mm chaingun. In his rage, however, he never bothered to aim properly, and the rain of tracers simply drifted off to the side.

Suzie simply moved the chopper to the side, dodging another stream of shells, and drew his only remaining weapon: A Colt Python with a dragon carved into the barrel. He opened up the door, aiming the powerful handgun, and fired.

The .357 armor-piercing bullet screamed through the wind and easily penetrated the glass canopy of the Hunter. The interior of the cockpit filled with red as the pilot's head opened up like a blood-filled egg, and the helicopter slowly drifted down into the bay.

Suzie closed the door, realizing that it was finally over. Woozie entered the cockpit and sat in the copilot's seat. "So," he said, "who's up for Chinese?"

Suzie simply grinned, turning the helicopter toward Liberty City. He knew a guy, someone named "Roman Belic". He thought that the guy could use a little hand running the taxi place. It was, after all, a Triad gift.