Deal

Summary: In life, everyone is dealt a hand and they play. They play by the rules or they don’t. They raise, call or fold on instinct. We’ve seen Sydney play one way, but what if she did it differently? What if she called a bluff, cheated, changed her cards or gave up because of the odds? Here is one way her life could have gone.

Disclaimer: Alias belongs to JJ Abrams, Bad Robot and… the channels that play it, damn you Channel Seven, Damn you!

A/N: This one is set in the Pilot, a little while after Danny was killed.

One

“You asked to see me?”

Professor Carter looked up to see Sydney Bristow standing in the door of his office. “Ah, yes, please, come in,” he said kindly. Sydney complied, coming to sit down opposite him. He sighed, taking off his glasses, “I realize what a… hard time this has been for you, what with the… passing, of your fiancé,” he began. She just looked at him. “I understand the pressure you’re under, with the funeral, and your job-”

“With all due respect, sir, you called me in for a reason,” interrupted Sydney. “I would appreciate it if you told me what that reason was.” She smiled softly. “You don’t have to treat me like I’m made of glass. Please, just tell me.”

He looked her straight in the eye. “You’re failing, Sydney,” he said bluntly. Her expression was, understandably, shocked. He sighed as he handed her the last essay she had written. She stared at it numbly. “Now, because of the circumstances, we’re willing to allow you to write the essay again, and submit it for assessment…” He faltered at the look on her face. “Miss Bristow, are you alright?”

“I think…” she whispered, breathing heavily, “I think I’m going to be sick.” She handed the failed essay back quickly and rushed out of the office.

“Miss Bristow!” Professor Carter called, walking hurriedly after her, catching up just in time to see her throw up into a trash can. “Miss Bristow,” he said more quietly, once she was finished. She looked up at him and smiled apologetically, tears in her eyes.

“Sorry, I think I ate a bad sandwich,” she explained, picking up her coat and backpack from where she had dropped them.

“No need to apologise,” he replied kindly. “Why don’t you come back to my office, I’ll get you a glass of water and we’ll talk some more about resubmitting your essay.”

She smiled, “Thanks for the offer but I have somewhere I really need to be. Could I see you after class on Thursday?” He nodded and she walked off hurriedly.

…

“Syd? Come on you’ve been in there for, like, a half hour!” Francie called. “We’re going to miss the movie!” She put her bag down on the table and walked over to the bathroom. “Will’s meeting us at the movie theatre and you know he hates buying tickets to Ben Affleck movies by himself!” She tapped on the door. “Syd? Is something-” the lock clicking cut her off. The door opened onto Sydney’s tearstained face. “Oh my God, Syd, what’s wrong?” She just shook her head, unable to speak. Francie stared in concern, before putting her arms around her. “Shh, shh,” she whispered comfortingly. “It’s all right, it’s gonna be all right.”

Sydney sniffled. “But, the movie-” she choked.

“Ah, so we ditch Will,” Francie said nonchalantly. “It’s not like he’s never gone to a chick flick by himself before. Who knows, maybe he’ll meet a really hot guy?”

Sydney laughed into her shoulder. “Oh, Fran, what would I do without you?”

“Wither and die under mountains of paperwork, I’m sure,” Francie reassured her. “Or maybe get fat from eating all that coffee ice cream. I still don’t get why you like that stuff.”

Sydney laughed again before raising her head and pulling back a little. “I don’t get your irrational fear of Barney, but I don’t judge.”

“It’s a purple tyrannosaurus rex that sings about loving families, that doesn’t scare you?” Francie exclaimed, joining in the laughter. She smiled. “You wanna go sit on the couch with a big bowl of your disgusting ice cream and talk about it?”

Sydney wiped her eyes and nodded. “It’s not disgusting!” she called half heartedly.

“Yeah, yeah,” Francie called back, opening the freezer. “Chocolate Mudcake, that’s what I’m talking about!” She slammed the door closed and went over to the cutlery drawer. “You wanna say yet, or do your hands need to be frozen?” she asked, grabbing two spoons.

Sydney sighed. “Makes no difference.”

Francie winced. “That bad, huh?” She handed Sydney the ice cream and spoon and sat down opposite her.

Sydney stared down and fiddled with her ice cream. “Yeah, well, no, actually. It’s good. Sort of. I don’t know.” She took a deep breath. “It’s- I’m, I’m… pregnant.”

Francie choked and coughed. “Ack, I inhaled my ice cream” she rasped. “Syd, I’m sorry, but did you just say that you’re pregnant?”

Sydney nodded, tears filling her eyes again.

“How? What… who? Is it… Danny’s?” Francie whispered incredulously.

“It has to be, oh Fran, I’m so scared!” Sydney wailed. “Wh- How did this happen? What am I going to do? I, I-” she started sobbing almost too hard to speak, “I mean, th-this sounds like s-some bad TV drama, a-and I-I just don’t know what to do!”

Francie shifted over and put her arms around her. “Oh my God, Syd, I don’t know what to say,” she said honestly. “I wish I could help more.” She started to cry. “You do know I’ll be here for you?”

Sydney nodded vigorously, and they both burst into fresh sobs.

They were still like that, hugging and crying, when Will stomped in angrily, yelling, “‘Hey Will, wanna go see that new romantic comedy with Ben Affleck in it?’ ‘Oh, gee, guys, I dunno, will it be like that time where I waited for you for half an hour, went in to save you seats then ended up sitting next to a homosexual couple who asked me whether I knew of any good gay clubs, left, then couldn’t even get my money back because the movie had already started, only to find you guys downstairs looking at shoes?’ ‘Oh, no Will-” He came across the two women on the couch, crying and laughing with discarded tissues and melting ice cream surrounding them, “Hey, what’s wrong?”

Sydney shot Francie a look then smiled up at Will. “I’m gonna go wash my face,” she announced, leaving Francie to deal with telling Will. It was selfish, yes, but she couldn’t face that right now, and Will wouldn’t have taken ‘Later’ for an answer.

“…pregnant-”

“Pregnant!”

“Shh! And yes…”

“Who… it Danny’s?”

“…else could it be…”

She sighed and turned on the tap hard, trying to drown out the reality that threatened to suffocate her. It was futile; the questions just kept on coming. How was this going to work? Not just in regard to her skills as a mother, or the lack of father, but with her life? Sloane had given her the month off, but she couldn’t go back. She had decided that before she knew about the baby and this only strengthened her resolve. She couldn’t work for Danny’s killers, especially not when she was carrying his child. A wave of nausea hit her and she sat down heavily on the edge of the bath. What was she going to do?

A/N: Want more? You're in luck then! The next chapter will be posted tomorrow.