"I tell you Amber, I'm going to help you find a job today," Richie said as they came down the back stairs.

"Save your breath," Amber said, "I've done all the looking I could, I applied…now I'm waiting, every place that I applied to said they'd call within a few days, and let me know if I get it."

"What kind of jobs did you apply for?"

"Oh…caretaker…bodyguard…nanny…bartender…that sort of stuff."

"Nanny?" Duncan repeated, "you mean someone would actually trust you with their kids?"

"Weird, ain't it?" Amber asked.

"So how was it last night?" Duncan asked.

"What?" they asked.

"Well…did Joanne say yes or no?"

"No…man…Richie didn't tell you what happened? She tried to hit Jason, instead she hit me and it knocked me out."

"Ouch…"

"Yeah…"

"So what're you going to do today?"

"I'm going to see Shane, I haven't seen him in a while," Amber said.

"Would he still be at the cemetery?"

"No, by now he's probably at work…"

"What's he do?" Duncan asked.

"Demolition…he tears down old buildings and condemned houses so new ones that be put up," Amber said, "it's really amazing seeing him take whole places apart with a crowbar and a sledgehammer."

"Why don't you try out for a job there?" Duncan asked.

"You think I haven't thought of that already? They're full up…unless someone screws up, or dies…they don't have room for anyone else…"

Amber headed out the back door and left for the cemetery.

"Nanny…caretaker…can you believe that?" Richie asked.

"No…but at least she is looking for work…you know, Richie…it wouldn't hurt if you got a job over the summer as well…"

"Mac…don't start."

"Fine…but do something, don't waste the summer away…"

---

"You killed two Watchers?" Amber asked.

"Yes…"

"Oh boy…what did they look like?"

"Well…they were both young, and tall…one had short red hair, the other had long blonde hair…and they were both wielding swords…"

"They came after you?" Amber asked.

"Yes…."

"Then they deserved to die…what did you do with the bodies?" Amber asked.

"I didn't do anything…after a while, other Watchers came…they put the bodies in a dumpster and took it away…"

"Boy oh boy…are you sure they were Watchers? You saw their tattoos?"

"Yes, not very easily, but I saw them."

"Well…I don't think you have anything to worry about, they're not anyone we know, and if they tried to kill you, then you just did what you had to do."

"So you're not mad?"

"I'm mad, allright…at the damn Watchers, you would think after losing 50-some of their men because of Immortals, that they would've learned their lesson by now."

---

Amanda and Amber sat at the kitchen table with a thick layer of notebook sheets in between them, a few had already been discarded, Amanda had one in her hand.

"Wanted…antique shop manager requires young worker to unload trucks and set up displays…"

"Instant hernia," Amber said, "moving on…"

"Wanted…nanny…employers, married couple…seven children…15…13…11… 9…8…6 and 4…"

"They don't need a nanny…they need Superman…"

"Allright…wanted…female bartender, must be at least 18, and have a nice…never mind that one…"

"Sounds like my last job…"

"Wanted: Caretaker for old house, 3 floors and basement, 67 rooms, all windows have bars in them, only one door leading out, no electricity, no phone…"

"No way," Amber added, "moving on…"

"Wanted, private work after 10 o' clock…" Amanda crumbled up the note and threw it away, "…wanted, escort for young woman…"

"How young are we talking? I mean, am I escorting her to a job or to kindergarten?" Amber asked.

"Says she's 18…"

"Why's she need an escort?"

"Some sort of tradition in her family…"

"Forget it…family traditions are always bad when it comes to a job…"

"Okay…wanted waitress for graveyard shift…must be friendly, sociable, and…"

"Ain't gonna happen," Amber said.

Duncan had overheard them and came into the kitchen, "what's going on?"

"Oh…we're trying to decide on a suiting job for Amber," Amanda said.

"Yeah, but so far…nothing…"

"How about this? Wanted, bouncer…must be at least 18, tolerant to violence, bloodshed, disturbing behavior…and 200 pound drunks…"

"You're making that up," Duncan said.

"Nope," Amanda replied.

"Do they say how much?" Amber asked.

"Eight bucks an hour."

"Eight bucks an hour?" Amber repeated, "that's unbelievable, usually the only kind of job that pays that kind of money is something more like you'd find in the personals column of the newspaper."

---

"Let's see…eight bucks an hour…five hours a night…five nights a week…so, I should have enough to get that car in…another lifetime…"

"Why are they paying you so much to work here?" Shelby asked.

"Cuz I'm always on my feet, at this place, there's always at least 3 guys drunk out of their minds and looking for trouble," Amber explained.

"And Richie doesn't mind you working here?"

"He wouldn't have much time to notice anyway, he's got a job himself…but he won't tell me what it is."

"Maybe it's better you don't know, maybe it's one of those 'can't tell ya or I gotta kill ya' jobs."

"I seriously doubt it, Richie's not intelligent enough to get a job like that…"

Little did Amber know that Richie's job wasn't too far off, in fact, he was working right across the street from the bar she was a bouncer for. The place was Club Xtacy, a strip club that had many dancers of both genders, Richie had gotten a job as a dancer, his stage name was the Shadow, and already he'd become notorious for getting down to wearing nothing but a black silk mask and tight black shorts. The women went crazy when he came out on stage, they were tossing money at him from every direction, a few women tried to get on the stage to touch him.

Richie decided to stop teasing them momentarily, so he made his way down to the tables and did an amateur bump and grind for their viewing pleasure, then he gave some a lap dance. Some of the women he was sure were going to faint, you'd think they'd never seen a man before. Richie had the misfortune of seeing some of the other male dancers, some were a bit leaner than he was, some had extremely skimpy outfits which went fine with their Brazilian waxes, some of them had bigger breasts than the women…all the same, he couldn't figure why the women were going crazy over him, but he liked it. It was a sure sign of returning customers, and the money was good.

Speaking of which, several of the women stuffed hundred dollar bills into his shorts as he stood up again.

"You're going home already?" Shelby asked.

"Why not? I'm through for the night…in fact it's a miracle I didn't get fired," Amber said.

"Come on…let's go across the street first."

"Why?"

"I want to see what kind of men they have in there…"

"You know what kind of men they have in there…strippers."

"Amber…"

"Forget it, Shelby…I'm going home…you want to go look at naked baboons, that's your own business…goodnight."

"Amber, please…I don't like the idea of going in there alone…"

"Why not? You afraid one of the employees will take his job too seriously?"

"Amber, please…"

"Allright, but let's get going soon, I want to get some sleep before the sun comes up."

They headed across the street, they got in and got a table near the stage. Shelby watched some of the male dancers while Amber booed and heckled them…instead of throwing money at them, she threw eggs. They quickly disappeared off the stage, and some different ones came on. While Shelby watched, Amber was about to drift off when she felt the presence of another Immortal, she opened her eyes and saw the next act come out on the stage.

"It's Richie!" she screamed.

"What?" Shelby asked, "are you sure?"

"I'm positive!"

Amber got out of her seat and headed for the stage, but a man caught her and stopped her. She turned around and acted like she was going to leave…but she was going to get to Richie…one way or another…

---

Richie's act had ended for the night, he went back to the dressing room to empty out his shorts and count his profits for the night. As he went back there, he felt the presence of another Immortal and found Amber had been hiding out in the room, along with Shelby.

"What're you guys doing here?" he asked.

"We came to see you," Amber said.

"What? How'd you find out I was working here?" Richie asked.

"Well…Shelby brought me here because she didn't want to come in alone, and she came because she wanted to see some of the men who work here…and surprise-surprise, out came you," Amber explained.

"We tried to get to you before, but security wouldn't let us," Shelby said, "so…now that we're here, I can give you a little tip."

Shelby pulled a 50 out of her pocket and slipped it beneath the waistband of his shorts, giggling the entire time she did it.

"Now if you'll excuse me, I think I'll head home now," she said.

She made her way out of the room and they figured out of the club entirely, leaving the two of them in semi-privacy.

"Richie…why're you working here?" Amber asked.

"It's no big deal…I do a little dance, I take off a few clothes, I entertain a few older women…"

"Yeah well it may be that now, but what happens when one of these days, a woman wants more than just a peep show and a lap dance?" Amber asked, "Richie, you could get yourself hurt in this business, you know that?"

"And what? Being a bouncer is safer?" Richie asked.

"Maybe…at least when I get into a fight with someone, it's cuz they're drunk and they don't want to be thrown out…here, you don't know what's going to happen."

"You don't know what could happen at your job either…"

"At least my job isn't entertaining people who want sex with me…"

"Amber…it doesn't get that bad…"

"Oh really?"

"Yeah…most of the guys working here, they never even get down to being completely naked…this isn't as bad as some of those real raunchy places…this is more like a…a…"

"A what?"

"Well you know how they call topless bars 'gentlemen clubs'?"

"Yeah."

"Think of this one as being for both genders."

"I still don't like it, Richie…"

"You don't have to…you just have to stop trying to ruin it for me…look, I'm not going to do this thing for long, I'll do it a few weeks, maybe a month or so, then it'll be over."

"Really?"

"Yes."

"Richie…I'm not going to say a word, but if Mac finds out about this, you know your ass is in the fire, right?"

"He's not going to find out."

"Are you sure?"

"Who's going to tell him?"

---

"You know Amber…if you weren't out until 3 in the morning at this new job, you wouldn't feel so bad when you wake up five hours later," Amanda told her.

"Well I gotta work…besides, Amanda…when it comes to me and sleep, there is no middle, it's either I sleep too much or not enough, which would you prefer?"

"So how is this new job?" Amanda asked.

"Fine…fine…it keeps me on my feet…every time you turn around, there's someone else who needs to leave…unfortunately they might be docking my paycheck to replace the window I threw a guy out of…"

"Amber, why'd you do that?"

"It was easier than the door…besides, after the first guy went out, every time I had to throw someone out, I just threw them out the hole in the wall where the window used to be."

"It's a wonder you didn't get fired…"

"Na, my boss likes it, in fact I suggested to save time and money, we just keep the hole there, we just cover it up with a large board until the place opens up and then we throw the drunks out through it."

Amber got up from the table and strapped an old camera case over her shoulder, it had a long strap to it, so she wore it low on the side. She'd been using it to carry things around in…not so much like a purse, more like a handy suitcase, she kept in it her cigarettes, some loose money, a switchblade, a camera, and any other small things she might pick up during the day.

"I don't believe you," Amanda laughed.

"No? Then why don't you come down tonight and see for yourself?"

"Maybe I will…"

"Good…"

"Fine."

"Fine."

"Good."

"Fine!" Amber said, "what're we talking about?"

"Amanda!" Duncan called from the front door, "there's a farm out here!"

"What?" Amanda asked.

"What?" Amber asked.

They went over to the front door, passing Methos on the way.

"Who?" he asked.

They got out on the front porch beside Duncan and saw chickens, roosters, geese, cats, dogs, mice, a potbellied pig, baby chicks, ducks, cranes, even a young ostrich, all running around the front yard.

"Oh my Lord," Amanda said.

"Richie get out here!" Amber called, "it's roundup time!"

"What?" Richie came running out and almost slipped off the porch, "whoa!"

"Whoa is right, come on, let's get them," Amber said.

"Hold on!" Duncan said, "you're not going anywhere just yet."

"What?" they asked.

"Who do all these animals belong to?" Amanda asked.

"They belong to Maureen Widen up at the corner across the street," Methos said.

"Her?" Duncan asked, "she's over 60 years old, what's she doing with a bunch of barnyard animals?"

"Hey, you got your hobbies," Amanda said, "she's got hers…"

"Come on Richie, let's get them back there before something happens."

Richie and Amber jumped off the porch and went straight at them. First, Amber gathered up all the mice and baby chicks into her camera case and she took them home…Richie tried to pick up the cats but he wound up unintentionally swinging them by their tails and throwing them across the street. Next he tried to move one of the dogs, he grabbed it by its collar and jerked, but the dog wouldn't move. The next thing Richie knew, he was on the back of the potbelly pig who was running wild with him as a passenger.

Duncan, Amanda and Methos watched the show from the porch and laughed, it was turning into quite a show. Just then, Connor came out wondering what all the noise was about, he got his answer when he saw Richie getting thrown around but staying on the pig, like someone riding a wild bull.

"Well…looks like Richie's found someone to play with," Connor said.

After a bit of a bumpy travel, somehow the pig threw Richie off and he rolled onto the ground, hitting his mouth against a rock hidden in the grass. Richie got up, wiped his mouth and looked at the pig, "come here you…I'm going to make fried bacon out of you."

Richie started chasing after the pig, but he just went in the other direction and Richie couldn't catch him. Out of nowhere, the ostrich came up and banged its head against Richie's groin, knocking him on the ground with his crossed eyes rolling back in his head.

Amber had returned and saw Richie lying on the ground, so she went over to him and helped him up. Their next problem was getting the remaining animals back across the street, so they tried the dogs again, but again, the dogs wouldn't move, while they tried to think of a way to get them to move, the pig came back around and swept up Richie back onto its back again. This time the pig headed out of the yard, across the street, and up to Maureen's front yard, where once again, the pig somehow threw Richie off, but this time he landed in the hedges.

Amber had had enough of the dogs acting like lawn jockeys, so she picked one up and carried it like a baby over to Maureen's house and dropped it off in the yard. That one was a mixture Shitzu and sheepdog, and only about 20 pounds, so it was easy to carry, then Amber went back and got another one, a rat terrier, she carried it under her arm like a salami and took it back. Then she came back for another one, it was a fat Dachshund-terrier, it had a big stomach and back, and it looked like two butts. But he was still small enough for Amber to put under her arm like a salami and she took him back too…

Methos jumped off the porch and got the cranes and the ostrich and took them back home. Amber came back for another dog to carry, but the surprise was on her, the next dog was a Great Dane who jumped on her and knocked her to the ground and licked her face. Richie had gotten out of the hedges and gotten back, he helped Amber up and they tried to grab the birds. Richie got his hands on a goose who pecked on his nose with its beak, Amber grabbed up a rooster after ripping off his tail feathers, he was squawking up a storm because of it. Methos came back and got his hands on a duck that tried to fly away, but it got its wings stuck inside of his coat, so basically he had a duck hanging in front of him. He decided it was good enough and took it home.

They came back and managed to get the rest of the ducks and the geese and the roosters, but they couldn't grab the chickens. Every time they tried, a chicken would bite them and go away. Shane came up and saw the ruckus and he went after the chickens and he grabbed them one by one and took them home. They clucked and squawked and made a lot of noise, and Shane spanked them as he took them home.

"Bad chicken, bad, bad, bad chicken," he called them.

Finally, all the animals were taken back over to Maureen's house where they were her problem once again.

"Thanks for getting rid of them, Shane," Amber said.

"No problem…I've done it before…"

"You have?" Amanda asked.

"Oh yes, her animals get out all the time," Shane explained, "especially her chickens…so I have to take them home to her."

"Amazing," Amanda said.

"Not really…"

"I mean, that woman has all those animals, and the board of health doesn't say anything," Amanda said.

"You think that's something, you should've known her when she had a pair of mules who slept under her bed."

"Shane," Duncan said, "I don't think those were the same kinds of mules that you're thinking about."

"Sure they are, I saw them with my own eyes," Shane said, "two full-grown asses."

Everyone looked at each other in disbelief.

"I just don't believe the things you're saying," Amanda said.

"It's true…"

"I believe that, but I still can't believe it…it's all very confusing…I'm confused just saying it."

---

"You see, Amanda? I got a good job…the boss isn't an ass, and the pay's actually decent," Amber said.

"So I see," Amanda said.

"Well…now I think I'll go to the Black and White All Night Theater," Amber said, "they're showing 'Peck's Bad Boy' tonight, and I want to see it."

"Wait a minute Amber, have you ever been over there?" Amanda pointed to Club Xtacy.

"Uh…yeah, a couple of times…"

"What's it like over there? Do they have good looking men?"

"Aren't you supposed to be a married woman?" Amber asked.

"Like it's ever stopped me before, huh?" Amanda asked, "so tell me, what kind of men do they have over there?"

"Oh you wouldn't like them," Amber told her, "they're very skinny, and very pale, and it is grotesque watching them…it's like watching a bunch of Methos' strip."

"You've got to be kidding."

"No, not really…besides, the majority of the acts are all women, and I don't think you want to see them," Amber said.

"Not unless Duncan's coming here."

"He doesn't…you know that, you're with him every night…now come on, let's go."

Amber tugged on Amanda's wrist until she finally agreed, and they headed over to the theater. Amber sighed in relief, she had kept Richie from being found out, and he still had his job, but this was going to be a weird summer, already she could tell.