Vampire: The Masquerade is owned by White Wolf Publishing. My use is in no way meant to challenge their copyrights. This piece is not intended for any profit on the part of the writer, nor is it meant to detract from the commercial viability of the aforementioned (or any other) copyright. Any similarity to any events or persons, either real or fictional, is unintended.

So the thing with Panama City is that it's completely built around the goal of pleasing thousands of drunken, horny college students. Have I mentioned that before? Anyway, I know I've touched on the issue a slight bit, but being in Panama City allowed me to figure out something rather surprising.

See, maybe you've heard about vampires drinking the blood of drunken or stoned humans. The result is that the vampire feels the effects of whatever chemical enhancements his meal had previously enjoyed. Well, human hormones are, essentially, chemicals. So drinking from drunken, horny college students produces drunken, horny kindred. Sorta does a lot to explain Uiko's ice cube show during Truth or Dare, and the absolute rush of the girls to partake in a wet t-shirt contest. I guess it also explains me banging away on a bunch of college girls right before I fed on them. So maybe the anarchs aren't really as dim as I generally figure they are.

Whether they are or not, though, I'm certainly gonna be putting Spring Break on my 'to do' list for the next hundred years or so. It's amazing to actually feel alive again after so long. It's kind of like… I don't know. See, it's not like being kindred is analogous to being dead or anything. I have a grand old time (when I'm not working, of course). I have lots of friends, and I have a kick-ass job that allows me to travel. I have a sense of purpose that I never had as a mortal, and I get to share a blood-bond, which is far more intimate than anything a mortal can experience. But at the same time, though, there's just something missing.

Maybe it's as simple as being out of sunlight for all eternity. Humans are pretty much diurnal animals, and suddenly being forced to become nocturnal certainly takes something away from one's existence. I think the real thing, though, is that humans just don't function quite the same without all of the chemicals we're used to having flowing through our brains. As I've said countless times, we don't feel passion anymore, at least not like mortals do. We don't feel intense, physical desire. I no longer go to a wet t-shirt contest and get that aching, burning feeling in my gut that I had when I was still alive. It's that primal instinct for procreation, I guess. Kindred can't mate, so our brains no longer produce the chemicals that once fueled our mortal libidos. So now, while we're certainly still alive and in many ways better than we once were, we also lack one of the most basic aspects of what we used to be. It's that inner drive that I felt come back to me in Panama City. It made me feel so alive. That's why I'll keep coming back.

Anyway, I walked out of my bedroom the night after the robbery and saw Sara doing her aerobics in the living room. The first thing I noticed was that she's got a great ass. The second thing I noticed was that I must have still had lots of hormones floating around in my bloodstream, left over from the bars we hit the night before. I don't know if I can say enough times that it felt wonderful. I continued through the living room and headed straight for the rec room, planning on shooting a few games of pool against myself before I had to do anything serious.

When I reached the rec room I saw Michelle and Melissa shooting a game of 9-ball. Not surprising, since Michelle loves the game. It seemed that Mel was winning, though, and that did startle me a bit. Seemed I actually had the good luck to adopt a child that must have grown up in a pool hall.

"What's the plan for tonight?" Mel asked as I walked in. She was looking at me the way I figured I must have looked at Sara. Can't say that won't be something I'll look forward to next year.

"We're packing our bags," I announced. "Sorry to say that new orders just came in. Shore leave's been canceled."

"You're kidding," Michelle grumbled. "We only just got the prince's little chore done, and now we have to ship out again? What the shit is that?"

"I didn't exactly tell Siras about the favor we did for the prince," I answered. "He's under the impression that we've been down here screwing around for the past week."

"Well, it's not like we were all about the work," Uiko commented as she joined us. "We unwound a little."

"A little," Mel complained. She's probably the one I felt worst for. She actually didn't have much fun at all, especially not after that little battle royal we forced her into. That probably was a little less than cool, especially from her point of view.

"Like it or not, we have a job to do," I said sternly. It seemed I was gonna have to lay down the law; I hated to do, but it had to be done. So I abandoned the personality of 'Johnny Yashida, Party Guy,' and switched into 'Drill Sergeant' mode. "You're a soldier now, Mel. Don't forget it. And Michelle, you're welcome to stay behind if you want; I have no authority over you. But if you decide to join us, I expect you to keep your comments under wraps."

"Of course," she said quickly, apologetically. The look on her face made me sorry for having spoken to her that way. She looked… petulant. Yeah, that's the word. And there's nothing like a petulant, nubile cutey.

"So, uhh… how about this," I offered. "Why don't you all go on and enjoy one last night?" I took a wad of cash out of my pocket and tossed it over onto the pool table."

"Really?" Mel asked. I nodded. "Cool!"

"So where are we going?" Michelle asked me as Mel and Uiko left to tell everyone the good news.

"Nowhere," I said with a sly grin.

"But I thought you said…" Her voice trailed off as she caught my meaning. Yup, I'm a clever one. Give the kiddies some money to go out and play while Michelle and I enjoy a night alone. God, I so love having raging hormones again!

"So this is it, huh?" The look on Erica's face was almost pitiable as she spoke. I knew she didn't want to go off on her own yet, and truth be told, I almost offered her the chance to hang with us a bit longer. In New Orleans I discovered what I'd suspected for awhile – that K.T. was, in fact, the closest thing to a friend I'm likely to get outside my clan. But also in New Orleans I saw what's making Erica hesitant to go back to him. It's that dark side that all the Gangrel seem to have. Michelle's got it goin' on, too, whenever she gets all pissy about something I do. They're really not like the rest of us – they're close to the beast inside, and I think that scares Erica.

K.T. was taking it to extremes, though. He was a few steps beyond the edge back in the Big Easy, and it doesn't take a genius realize that Erica got majorly freaked out. And so yes, I almost offered her an open-ended invitation into the life of my crew. But then I remembered all the times she'd made me squirm in the past few days, and I thankfully resisted the temptation to make a stupid decision. Besides, she'll never work things out with K.T. if she doesn't go back to him. I'm not a security blanket, and neither are any of my childer. Maybe we'll invite her next year for Spring Break, though. Well, as long as she promises to bring K.T. along, that is. I think that could be a really fun time. After all, what's the worst that could possibly happen?

Fin