|Boogie on the Bridge
Author: Linwe Ringeril PM
Q v. Chakotay! They're fighting for Janeway's love and there's only one way to do it... a dance-off! They compete for Janeway's honor, using all kinds of dancing; from Ballet to Break-dancing! It gets crazy. JC.Rated: Fiction K+ - English - Humor/Romance - K. Janeway & Chakotay - Words: 3,693 - Reviews: 16 - Favs: 4 - Follows: 2 - Published: 05-08-05 - id: 2385931
|A+ A- Full 3/4 1/2 Expand Tighten|
Disclaimer: I do not own Star Trek Voyager or the characters, nor do I own any songs by any bands, or songs from any games that I mention here, just the story.
Boogie on the Bridge
It was a normal day on the starship Voyager. Captain Kathryn Janeway was sitting in her command chair, trying to stealthily remake her butt-mold that Commander Chakotay had so carelessly ruined by taking the night shift in her chair, while trying to make it look like she was reading some ensign's report for Engineering about the warp coils. Yes, it was truly a day like any other, and no one on the Bridge was expecting what was about to happen.
"Stop following me! I told you, I'm not going to tell you what kind of bubble bath she likes, and that's final!" Chakotay's voice boomed from the direction of the turbolift. The sudden noise had startled everyone on the Bridge, especially Kathryn. All heads turned in the Commander's direction, and Kathryn spotted Tuvok pulling out a phaser.
"Oh, come now, Chuckles! I promise I won't do anything inappropriate with the information!" It was Q.
"Like Hell you won't!" Chakotay said, turning to face the omnipotent being that had stepped off the turbolift right after him.
"Excuse me!" Kathryn said in her most command-like voice. Both men turned to face her, as if noticing her for the first time. "What is going on here? Why are you on my ship, Q? Don't you ever tire of bothering us?"
"Oh, Kathy, how could I ever tire of you?" he asked, suavely, a bouquet of red roses appearing in his hands. He reached out to hand them to her, but she ignored him.
"Commander, what is going on?" she asked sternly, putting her hands on her hips.
"Captain," he said gruffly. "Q here keeps bothering me because he knows you like me better." He sneered to Q.
"What? That's not true! I was just asking him what kind of things you like-"
"So he can vainly attempt to win you over, even though he knows that we're involved already, Kathryn."
"Vainly Attempt? What kind of phrasing is that, biped?" Q shouted. Kathryn's cheeks burned. No one was supposed to know about her relationship with Chakotay, and now the whole Bridge crew knew. She had to stop this before it became even more embarrassing or even bloody.
"Gentlemen!" She shouted above them both. They froze, startled. "You tow need to settle this, right here and right now."
"Fine! I challenge you to a…" he smiled evilly, "a dance-off!" Q shouted.
That was it.
Q stared viciously at Chakotay, who held his gaze with equal intensity and determination. They were ready, and now that it had begun, there was no turning back.
"Do you accept this, Commander?" Janeway asked, eyeing them with fierce seriousness on her face.
"On one condition. You win, Q, then I back off. I win, you leave the ship forever." Q nodded quickly, agreeing.
"All right, then, let's get this started!" Janeway waved her arm in the air dramatically, but kept an expression of firm resolve on her features all the while.
Q and Chakotay circled around each other as though they were about to fight. Every eye in the room was on them, and Tom Paris had even bet Harry five replicator rations on who would win. Janeway hoped this wouldn't get too intense.
With one motion, Chakotay swept off the jacket of his uniform to reveal a gray shirt that dangerously showed his muscles. Q did likewise. They kept circling.
"Computer, music! Chakotay alpha 6!" Chakotay cried to the computer. Suddenly, "Yeah" by Usher came on, and Chakotay was on the floor. He spun around skillfully on his head and then jumped up, his body looking as lithe and supple as a slithering snake.
"Isn't this that Usher guy from the 21st century?" Tom whispered to Harry.
"I think so…" Harry couldn't remember.
Chakotay was now full-out moon walking and started doing the robot with a skill that stunned Janeway. He kept it up for about another minute, leaving everyone there breathless with excitement. He ended with a smooth turn. Applause erupted around him, and he smiled at Kathryn. But his joy was short lived.
"Computer, play Kim beta 3!" Q yelled, glaring at Chakotay, who stopped smiling. He knew something big was coming.
"Hey, that's my coded music!" Harry piped up. Q didn't hear him though, because he was too busy snapping his fingers. All at once, the Bridge completely transformed into a large mirror-walled room with a hardwood floor.
"Where are we?" Janeway looked around frantically.
"Don't worry, Kathy, we're still on the Bridge." Q answered, snapping himself into shiny black pants and a bell-bottom sleeved silk, black shirt that was open in the front. He wore shoes that Kathryn recognized to be for Irish dancing, and the music that he had ordered was indeed a fast, Irish-sounding violin song.
"Good God…" Kathryn muttered to herself. She could tell this was going to be interesting. This was an all out dance-till-you-drop, and she could tell that it wasn't going to end soon or easily. She watched both men. Chakotay was tense, waiting for Q to begin his counter dance-attack. Q was standing in a position with his right foot in front of his left, in a starting position, waiting for the music to hit a certain spot. Then he began.
He was off, stomping rhythmically across the wooden floor, making very loud sounds, and using the small, but hard heel of his shoe. He never moved his arms from his sides, not even for balance when he would make a quick jump in the air, usually kicking one foot first, followed by the other, but landing flawlessly. He even added little turns here and there, stomping in complicated patterns all the while, never stumbling on the slippery wood surface. His every step seemed to mock Chakotay, because he'd come straight up to him and then divert his course, narrowly missing the distraught Commander.
Kathryn Janeway hated to admit it, but Q's Irish dance was more impressive than Chakotay break-dancing. And when he stomped past her, smiling, she couldn't help a blush that came to her cheeks. It didn't matter, though; she wasn't judging this dance-off. It was whoever dropped first was the loser. There were no other rules.
After about five minutes of dancing, Q finally stopped, ending his dance with a turn in the air, landing it flawlessly, as he had all the other tricks he'd tried. And he was finished.
"So, Kathy, what did you think of that?"
"Impressive…" Q grinned smugly at Chakotay, who scowled. "But this isn't nearly over, Q. I do believe the Commander isn't dropping from exhaustion." She said, eyebrow raised in her most captain-like manner.
"Yet, that is. There's no way he's going to win this." Q sneered.
"We'll see about that, Q." Chakotay declared. "I still have a few tricks up my sleeve." And he did. What came next, Kathryn Janeway knew she would never forget.
He swiftly kicked off his shoes and spoke a command to the computer. In a second, "The Nutcracker" started playing, and he was on his toes doing arabesques and little turns, looking extremely graceful. All he needed was tights.
Kathryn watched, not sure whether she was more amazed at her ballet-dancing first officer or the Irish dancing Q. She continued watching him as he gracefully waved his arms over his head while stepping back and forth in a "balence." He held his arms over his head after the balences, framing his face, in fifth position and took very small, quick, sideways steps until he turned and did a complete in-the-air, "torjete." He landed perfectly on his right foot after he kicked it in the air and spun, switching feet, while bringing his hands over his head in the fifth position. Then, he was done, looking a bit more tired than he had when he'd begun his advanced ballet. Q seemed to notice, Janeway saw, because his amazed expression had turned into deviousness and it didn't seem a but worried.
"Already tiring, biped?" Q asked the panting Chakotay. "You know it was very foolish to try and challenge me to a dance off. I, being Q, know every dance that exists. You seem ready for a nap and I'm just getting started. Why don't you just give up?" He leaned closer to Chakotay and whispered, "You know Kathy will fall for me anyway, it's just a matter of time. She'll undoubtedly tire of your imperfection and lack of omniscience and/or omnipotence."
Everyone in the Bridge crew was looking on curiously at Q, who whispered something that made Chakotay's eyebrows shoot up half in anger, half in sarcasm.
"I know it's your personality, Q, but don't be too cocky. We're not finished yet, and I'm not going to back down." He said out loud, not really caring that the whole Bridge crew heard.
"Ah, well you may, Commander, after you see my next dance." He snapped his fingers. The outfit he'd been wearing was suddenly replaced with loose, sparkly, blue pants and a black button-down shirt, topped off with a silver, glittery top hat. He wore tap shoes on his feet and it didn't take a genius to guess what kind of dance he was going to do next.
"Computer, play track 7, oldies file delta 3." He stood, waiting, with his arms behind his back and his knees slightly bent. When the beginning of "Hit the Road Jack" by Ray Charles came on, he immediately started moving. First he did a "grape vine," stepping sideways, one foot in back and then in front of the other, to the beat of the music.
It started to get faster. "Hit the road Jack, and don't you come back, no more, no more, no more, no more…" he stepped into a triple time step. Stamp, leap, switch feet, falap ball-change, twice until he did three double triples. When it hit the verse he started doing double "Cincinnati's" backwards. Brush, heel, shuffle, heel, step heel. He did these for eight counts, switching feet after each one. Everyone watched in amazement at how fast his feet were moving and how many sounds they were making. This Q could give Beverly Crusher a run for her money in these tap shoes.
He continued to tap around the floor, making hundreds of sounds by only moving his feet a small distance in a simple step. At the end of the song, he dramatically struck a pose with his arms in the air above his head. Applause erupted, much to Chakotay's dismay. There was no way he could compete against that. All he knew was advanced ballet, break-dancing, and a mean cha cha slide. He couldn't us the cha cha slide in a dance off though, it was a line dance.
Then it came to him. Q may know every style of dance in the universe, but maybe he wouldn't know this-- Dance Dance Revolution. It was one of Chakotay's all-time favourite 21st-century video games. He couldn't think of any other video game--in any century-- that was all about getting up and dancing. Of course, you could always dance in the Holodeck, but that wasn't really a "video game."
"Well, Commander, I'd like to see you top that!" he laughed haughtily at Chakotay. "What kind of dance are you going to attempt next?"
"Well, Q… actually, I'd like to challenge you to a DDR battle."
"'DDR?'" Q asked, puzzled for a moment. "Oh yes! That dancing video game from Earth in the 21st century. I never thought of you as a DDR player Commander." He said.
"Did you ever see him as a ballet dancer?" Tom asked from the corner of the room. Q nodded in agreement.
"I guess he's right. Well, Chakotay, I accept your challenge. I've never tried this 'Dance Dance Revolution,' but nothing's beyond my omnipotent abilities, now is it?" Chakotay rolled his eyes. "Let's get this started then!" he snapped his fingers.
The Bridge finally turned back into the normal Bridge, except for one minor detail. The helm station had completely disappeared, and in its place were two large metal platforms with red bars for balance on the back of them. On the floor of each platform were four arrows, two pink, two blue, facing up, down, left, and right. It was a genuine dance pad that someone living in the 21st century would see at any popular arcade. They seemed to be hooked up, by ancient 21st century-looking wires to the view screen, which was acting as the "television" for the video game.
"Show of hands who think this game should be permanently on the Bridge!" Tom said, looking excitedly at the DDR platforms, completely breaking the seriousness of the moment by raising his hand high in the air. No one raised their hand, but some were probably thinking it. How many starships had DDR pads right on the Bridge?
Chakotay and Q stepped up onto the platforms. Chakotay stepped forward and pressed a green button that had appeared on the viewer. He quickly selected the song "Pink Rose" on Heavy Mode. He pressed the green button again. Q pressed an identical green button on his side of the viewer. It began.
As soon as the "Are you ready?" was said by the video game voice, the song started and Janeway could hardly keep track of their feet, they were moving so fast. She watched, amazed, as hundreds of luminescent arrows went up the screen and Q and Chakotay hit the corresponding arrows on their platforms. Not only must you be extremely coordinated to hit every arrow when it came to the top of the screen, but you must also be quick, and in rhythm. It was no walk in the park. And she noticed it was taking a toll on Chakotay. She didn't think he'd ever break-danced, ballet-danced, and DDR'd all within the same hour. He certainly seemed to be tiring, but Q showed only little signs of fatigue. There was no question who was going to win this dance-off, and Janeway didn't like it.
Her feelings never failed her. Q had won the first round. The letter "A" came up on his side of the screen and the letter "B" came up on Chakotay's. Chakotay had only missed an "A" by a few "boos" and misses here and there, but they added up. And there were two more rounds to go. Kathryn didn't know if he would make it, but she hoped he would. If not for her, than for him. She really didn't want to spend eternity with Q. She knew rules were rules, though. This was a serious dance-off, and she couldn't interfere.
"Look who's just second best." Q sneered, motioning to the screen where their grades were.
"This still isn't over, Q." said Chakotay once again. "I'm not backing down, so don't even ask."
"Aww, but Commander, wouldn't it be better for your health if you did? After all, you are only a biped." He folded his arms across his chest and kept sneering at Chakotay. Unfortunately, when Q had made this comment, a brilliant idea had blossomed in Kathryn's mind. She smiled at Chakotay reassuringly, and tried to come way convey to him that she had a plan. He gazed back but didn't seem to understand, turning away.
"Let's finish this, Q."
"If you insist on suffering a horrid, humiliating defeat… then who am I to stop you?"
Once again, they stepped up to their platforms, ready. This time, however, Q selected the song. He chose "B4U" on heavy mode. Chakotay hit his green button in agreement and another song began. This one was very fast paced from the beginning, having a quick, steady beat of base throughout. Again, every eye on the Bridge watched, amazed at the two men's feet that seemed to be flying over the metal arrows on the platforms, stamping in unison. It almost looked like tap dancing, actually, Janeway observed. No wonder Q was so good. But then she thought again, because he was, after all, omnipotent. There was no dance he couldn't do. She smiled to herself.
The fast song ended, and Chakotay was panting from exhaustion. Q was as crisp as ever, ready for anything, showing absolutely no signs of fatigue except for the perspiration on his forehead.
"At least you're getting a good workout!" Q said to Chakotay as he slapped him on the back like an old friend. He was, however, anything but. Chakotay did not speak, instead he selected the song for their final stage. It was "Tsugaru." An extremely difficult, Japanese sounding song that only the best could pull off. "I don't know what you're thinking, Chakotay." Q said shaking his head as the song began. "But I guess you want to go out in a brilliant flame of glory, eh?" He cackled mockingly to himself and started dancing as the song started.
Again, they stomped in unison The only one stumbling once and a while was Chakotay, who was breathing in sharp gasps. Kathryn looked on, concerned. She knew he was physically fit, but this was too much, and he knew it. Why had he chosen such a difficult song if he wanted to win?
Right. Left. Up. Down. Just one more step, he thought. Just one more step here, and then there…. It was no use; he was missing almost every other arrow that flew up the screen at an amazing speed. It was just too much for him. The Japanese song flew on. The arrows started getting blurry before his eyes. He could step no longer. He swiped his eyes, but it was no use. The blackness that was overwhelming them wasn't dissipating. He could hear Q stepping, as energetic as ever, beside him on his platform. "Well, I tried didn't I?" he thought as he stumbled onto the hard platform.
"Chakotay!" Kathryn cried as she lunged forward and then fell under his weight as she caught him on the platform. The song had ended. The other senior officers on the Bridge rushed to her aid. Q merely stood on the other platform, unconcerned, a triumphant look on his mischievous face.
"Ha! I won, Kathy!" he announced, though the fact was obviously clear. Chakotay had dropped, and rules were rules… or were they? She left Chakotay's prone body to Tuvok and the others, standing to face the omnipotent being.
"No, Q, you didn't."
"Are you blind, Kathy? Of course I won! Just look at the Commander. He's passed out."
"Yes, Q, I can see that, but you haven't won."
"And may I ask why not?" he said, frowning.
"You cheated, Q. You had an unfair advantage, being omnipotent."
"But he knew all the styles of dance we used, I don't see-" she held up her hand to silence him. She walked right up to him, looking him in the eye.
"You're omnipotent. You don't tire."
"So? He challenged me! He knew the risk!"
"If I remember correctly, Q, you challenged him. You took advantage of his blindness in his anger. You knew he'd agree, and you knew you had an edge!" she snarled, wearing him down with her words.
"I… but…well… fine. Just, fine." He looked down angrily.
"Good." Said Kathryn sweetly. "So leave us now, and don't come back."
"Oh, I'll leave, Kathy… but this was unfair. Don't expect me to be gone for too long…" and with that, he was gone, a maniac cackle echoing dramatically on the Bridge long after he'd disappeared.
Out of the corner of her eye, she noticed Chakotay slowly sit up, bringing his hand to his head.
"What… what happened?" he asked groggily.
"Chakotay!" Kathryn rushed to his side. "You won." It was all she needed to say. Memories suddenly flooded his brain as he swept Kathryn into his arms. Right there in the middle of the Bridge on top of the DDR platform, he kissed her.
"We should have dance-offs more often, don't you think?"
"Of course! It's really the only civilized way to settle disagreements!"