Summary:The Doctor suffers the consequences of Van Statten's torture.

Pairing: Rose/Doctor

Rating:PG/PG-13

Disclaimer: I own nothing, yadda yadda yadda...

Feeling strangely shaky, the Doctor decided that the inclusion of Adam wasn't a debate he really wanted to get into. "On your own 'ead." was all he could say for now. He just needed to get out of that graveyard posing itself as a museum.

He breathed a brief sigh of relief upon entering the TARDIS, his home, the only place that could so effectively remind him of what he'd lost yet comfort him at the same time. He vaguely heard Adam's protests and calls from outside the TARDIS but he didn't have time to give the boy a formal invitation – he had to leave, clear his head a bit.

He walked over to the console, spun the dial and felt grateful for the TARDIS' lack of protest this time; with a whir and a sudden jolt she was lurching through time and space.

The Doctor turned around sharply, perhaps too sharply, as a wave of dizziness came over him; he blinked a few times to clear his vision. It seemed the boy had managed to get on board after all; he couldn't quite decide if he liked this latest development. It would ultimately mean that he wouldn't have Rose all to himself any more; now there was another companion to watch out for, to take responsibility for, and after today he doubted his skills in that area.

"Welcome to the TARDIS!" he said as cheerfully as he could muster, desperately trying to ignore the new wave of dizziness washing over him, this time accompanied by an unpleasant feeling of nausea. He'd rarely felt this way before and tried to put it down to the stress of the day. Daleks and Time Lords didn't mix well.

The boy, Adam, squinted curiously around the console room before gingerly taking several steps further into the room. "TARDIS?" he asked questioningly.

The Doctor smiled proudly. "Time And Relative Dimension In Space," he answered, "Isn't that right, Rose?" he asked looking over at her.

"You think you're so impressive," she said pushing herself off the wall and looking at Adam. "He thinks he's so impressive," she repeated jerking her thumb at the Doctor. The boy had the decency to look only mildly amused.

Normally the Doctor would continue his banter with Rose but the headache forming in his mind turned him off the idea. Rest. Rest is what he needed right now; for once sleep was actually needed and welcome to him… then maybe this sickness would disappear – or so he hoped; he really didn't have much experience in these areas.

He rubbed his temples carefully, trying to relieve some of the pressure; however, that just seemed to create another wave of nausea. Rapidly blinking his eyes, he looked around to find the room spinning wildly. What had happened to him in that place?

Rose noticed the Doctor's distress and was immediately by his side. "Hey," she said gently, holding his arm. "Are you feeling all right?"

Taking a few steadying breaths, he answered faintly, "What's happening to me?"

Rose's concerned features swam in front of him; he was only partially aware of her taking hold of his hand.

Rose cursed, "Your hands are shaking!" She looked up into his eyes only to find them glazed over. "Shit!" she cursed louder whilst trying to steady the Doctor who was now swaying dangerously.

"What is it?" Adam called, walking up to the two companions, trying not to feel useless and intrusive. "What's-"

He was cut off by the Doctor's sudden drop to the floor; he quickly jogged over to Rose, who was kneeling by his side.

"Doctor? Doctor? Can you 'ear me?" she called.

She looked up at Adam. "He's all clammy and his pulse is racing. I-I only know basic first aid. Even then I'm not sure what good it would do." She paused looking fearfully into his eyes.

"We can't lose him, Adam."

He nodded and bent down next to her; he didn't know much more about first aid than her either, but he did know about aliens. Although he wasn't entirely sure how to put that knowledge to use. He quickly checked the temperature of the other man.

"Okay," he said, taking a deep breath, "he's burning up…. Looks like some kind of fever. Maybe an allergic reaction to something. Is there anywhere on board with medical supplies? Has he got a sick bay or something?"

"It's not Star Trek on here, y'know," Rose said, exasperated. "But I do remember there being a medical room of some sort…." She thought for a moment, desperately trying to recall its location on board the huge time ship. "I think it's on the way to the wardrobe; I remember passing it once."

Adam nodded. "Right, all we have to do is get him there. Ready?" he asked, gesturing to the Doctor's prone form.

Grunting with the effort, they successfully managed to pull the Doctor up off the floor by holding onto an arm each around their shoulders. Carefully and as quickly as they could, they made their way down two flights of stairs, through five long corridors and past one garden. All the time a silent prayer for his survival was running through Rose's head; she couldn't afford to lose him…. Despite only knowing him a few weeks, he'd become such an integral and important part of her life, more than a best friend, more than anything – she couldn't describe her feelings for him, just that they were strong and she'd be damned if she'd let anything bad happen to him.

Entering the white-washed room which passed for the TARDIS' medical bay, they carefully lowered the Doctor onto one of the two beds, panting with the exertion of carrying him so far, so fast.

"What now?" Rose asked hurriedly. His condition seemed to be getting worse.

Adam pursed his lips and spun on his heel to get a better look round the room, searching for a device he recognised that might be of some use. There was a whole wall of what appeared to be medical equipment, all organised on shelves and stacked in big metal boxes. Finally he hit gold. A computer!

"Rose!" he called, rushing over to the machine. He quickly pulled out a chair from underneath the desk and searched for the 'power' button.

Rose was at his side in an instant, "A computer?" she asked, puzzled. "He doesn't need the lottery numbers! He needs medicine!"

Adam swung round on his chair. "I know!" he said irately, gesturing to the confusing array of alien equipment. "But this thing's here for a reason. Maybe it can tell us what we need from those boxes to help him, okay!"

"I'm sorry," Rose muttered. "I'm just worried is all."

Adam nodded, looking at the computer screen and apparently selecting a language. "It's okay. I'm worried too, all right?"

Suddenly the computer vibrated and the keypad in front of them abruptly changed to recognisable English keys. "Whoa," he said before quickly refocusing on the screen.

Rose anxiously looked at the screen with him. "There!" she said, pointing at the screen. "'List conditions of illness'. It looks like it can tell us how to treat them."

"Fantastic!" Adam said and Rose felt a tug at her heart at that word. She associated it with her Doctor and right now she'd give anything to hear him say it.

They rapidly listed all the identifiable symptoms the Doctor seemed to have and waited for the machine to turn up a result. Finally, after what seemed like years to Rose, a list with just two items appeared.

"Right. So it's one of them then, yeah?" she asked Adam, noticing the frown slowly appearing on his face.

"Yeah," he said carefully. "But by looking at this, if we give him the wrong treatment it could kill him. We've got to be sure of what he has."

Rose swallowed heavily; they couldn't afford to get this wrong. "Well, you're the genius; what d'you reckon?"

He sighed. "Well, this first one says 'illness can be caused by prolonged exposure to the mud pits of Saltar'. Have you, ummm, been to a place called Saltar?"

"No," Rose said, shaking her head. "But remind me to give it a miss in the future. What's the second one say?"

Before Adam could reply, they were distracted by a loud noise of anguish from the other side of the room. Rose's head shot up; the Doctor's mild shakes had apparently increased ten-fold and the whole bed was shuddering with him.

"Oh, God..." Rose said, hurrying over to help him, Adam directly on her heels. She quickly turned back. "No! Let me handle this. Try and find out more about the second one."

Adam paused, hesitating uncertainly.

"Please!" Rose urged. "We don't have much time!"

Reluctantly, the boy turned round back to the computer.

Rose hurried to the Doctor's side; his face was screwed up in what appeared to be pain and his fists were clenched at his side. Sweat was pouring off him in buckets and the trembling seemed to be getting more violent by the second. "Doctor!" Rose called, placing a hand on his arm. "Doctor, it's okay. Calm down."

It didn't seem to have any effect on him and the tremors racking his body continued. Rose was starting to feel helpless and in a last ditch effort to help him she put her hands tightly on his shoulders and braced him to the bed, stopping the violent jerking his body was inflicting upon itself.

Finally he started to calm a bit, just twitching every now and then. "Shhh…." Rose whispered to him, gently wiping away the film of perspiration that had formed on his forehead. "I'm gonna help you," she continued. "I swear; you're not getting away from me this easily." Carefully she leant forward and placed a light kiss on his cheek, squeezing his hand before heading back over to where Adam was.

"Have you found anything?" she asked, rubbing her head wearily.

"Oh, I've found something all right," Adam said bitterly.

Rose had expected more information, not a long pause. "Well, what? What is it you've found?" she demanded.

Adam folded his arms tightly across his chest. "Van Statten tortured him. That's what."

"What? I don't get it. How? How d'you know?" she asked, alarm and shock clear in her voice.

"Because the conditions he's suffering from are all caused by a particular radiation, a radiation which is used in one of Van Statten's x-ray devices for alien life forms."

"How d'you know?" Rose asked, trying to keep her rising hatred for Van Statten under control.

Adam suddenly stood up and whirled round to face her. "Because I gave it to him!" He pointed a thumb at his chest. "I found it at auction! I bought it!"

Rose flinched a little at his erratic breathing before reaching out to him. "Hey. It's not your fault. All right?"

He slumped back into the chair miserably. "It is."

"Did you tell Van Statten to torture him? No," Rose said firmly. "So stop wasting time feeling bad and help me help him."

It was a few hours later before the Doctor was making any kind of progress. After finding the medicine and equipment, it hadn't taken Adam, with Rose's help, long to figure out how it all worked.

Rose was keeping a constant vigil by his bedside, his hand gripped tightly between hers. They'd had to divest him of his trademark leather jacket and jumper for what Rose could only describe as some sort of IV line and several monitors. She'd been slightly surprised to discover he had two hearts, but that was just another thing to add to the list of questions she prayed to get a chance to talk to him about when he woke up.

The odds of that actually happening looked more promising now. He certainly wasn't shaking as much, although he was still white as a sheet and occasionally his hand tightened perceptibly on hers. She wondered what internal torture he was inflicting upon himself and it was all she could do not to cry when a pained expression crossed his features. She wished she could help him more but the computer had assured her that there was nothing left to do but wait for him to come out of it by himself.

She shivered slightly; the room temperature had been lowered in the hope to decrease his temperature and bring down the fever. It seemed to be working but it made things bloody cold for Rose; however, she had absolutely no intention of leaving his side for a moment to get another hoody. She let her eyes flicker away from his face for a moment to search the room before spotting his worn jacket tossed on a chair by the wall. She hesitated for a moment before placing a light kiss on the back of his hand and going to pick it up.

She carefully pulled it on and was almost at once overwhelmed by the familiar smells she'd come to associate with the Doctor; sandalwood for some reason, the TARDIS' oil for the console and something else, something uniquely him. It was strangely comforting and she pulled it tighter round herself to stave off further shivers.

She looked over at him. "Hope you don't mind," she said conversationally. "I was getting a bit cold." She would have given anything to hear a witty retort from him at that moment, but he didn't even stir.

She sat back down and clutched one of his hands in hers again. "You've given me a real scare, y'know? Stupid git. What am I gonna do with you, eh?"

Silence.

She sighed. "Guess you don't like feel like keeping your end of the conversation up," she surmised. "Not to worry. You can just sit and listen to me harp on. I know how much you love to do that." She smiled, imagining his eye roll about now.

"Adam's getting all settled in now. Gave him a room on the floor beneath us for now…. Dunno why. Stupid really, but I just felt like keeping our floor… ours, y'know? This is your cue to call me 'silly human'." His grip on her hand tightened slightly, almost giving her the courage to plough on with what was on her mind.

She smiled a little. "How is it that you're the one comforting me even though you're unconscious?"

She looked down at their interlocked hands. "Remember when we first met?" she asked. "I thought you were mad – living plastic? Sounded like one of them sci-fi shows on TV." She paused for a second. "I never really thanked you for inviting me along; I guess in a way, you saved me…. That life; that life isn't what I'd wanted. I wanted this, adventure, danger, fun and," she took a breath, "and I wanted you. I wanted to share those things with you. You made me feel different about myself… worth something. More than a shop assistant living on an estate at any rate."

She bit back the threat of tears. "I keep wondering if what the Dalek said was true…. Do you love me, Doctor?" His brow creased for a moment. "I want to believe you do; you mean more to me than anyone else I've ever met…. I think I fell in love with you the first time you grabbed my hand." She smiled. "You really know how to get a girl's heart pumping, don't ya? I loved you even when you let Cassandra die, the last human, the last of my race. I think in a strange way it made me love you even more; it was like you'd shown me a little piece of what was inside you…."

She paused, drawing in a long breath. "I know you hurt a lot. I saw some of that today with the Dalek. I saw that dark side of you which I'm starting to think you try and shield me from, but you don't have to; d'you 'ear me? You don't have to. I want to be there for you because… because that's what people do when they're in love, yeah?"

The hand twitched more forcefully this time.

Rose exhaled heavily. She'd been thinking about all that for a long time but to actually come out and say it was completely different than she'd imagined. Of course, she'd pictured him awake in her mind, awake and ready to turn her down. She supposed it was better this way; at least he couldn't protest and make her feel like the world's biggest idiot.

The hand twitched again.

Rose wiped a stray tear away and looked up sharply. "Doctor?" she asked, allowing a tiny bit of hope to shine through.

He was still for a moment and Rose was just about to settle back into a patient waiting when she saw him swallow heavily and clench his jaw. "Doctor?" she called again. "Can you 'ear me?"

He let out a shuddering breath and Rose felt her heart leap to her throat.

"That's it," she coaxed. "Can you try and open your eyes, Doctor?"

Another swallow and deep breath.

Rose leaned over him, stroking his hair. "Come on…." she whispered desperately.

Ever so slowly and in what felt like an eternity to Rose, his eyes cracked open slightly.

"Hi," she said softly. "How're you feeling?"

He blinked rapidly for a few seconds…. "Rose?" he asked quietly, his eyes focusing on her face.

"Yeah. It's me," she said, smiling.

"Thank God," he whispered passionately before letting is eyes drop closed again.

Rose frowned, "Doctor?" She looked at his heart monitors. Everything seemed normal. Well, as normal as they could to her. She looked back at him and noticed his breathing had evened out again. Rose let out a sigh of relief; he was just sleeping again.

She sat back down, her brow furrowed in confusion. What had he meant by 'Thank God'?

The next time he awoke it was well into what Rose guessed was the middle of the night of the following day. All his machines had been removed earlier; Rose was just waiting for him to wake up by himself. She wasn't sure how long that was supposed to take because his body needed time to relax and heal itself, so she passed the long, quiet minutes by plotting the different ways she could make Van Statten suffer and talking about the different adventures they'd been on together lately.

She guessed she must have fallen asleep at some point because she awoke with a hand stroking the hair out of her face. She stirred slightly and opened her eyes blearily only to see him smiling down at her from his position on the bed.

"You're awake!" she exclaimed. Then without really thinking about it she leant over and hugged him fiercely.

"Yep," he said cheerfully.

Rose pulled back. "Don't mess about. I was really worried about you"

He took hold of her hand, his features darkening. "I'm really sorry," he said sincerely.

She squeezed it back tightly, feeling all the emotions of the past day begin to crash down on her. "I thought you were going to die."

He pushed himself up into a sitting position on the bed with some difficultly and managed to pull her down next to him, holding her tightly. "What is it you're always telling me? 'Can't get rid of me that easy.'"

She laughed a little at this and he smiled thankfully.

"How're you feeling?" Rose asked.

"Like I've been battered by an entire Auton army. You?"

"Worried," she answered and he pulled her against him tighter.

"Out of curiosity, what are you doing wearing my leather jacket?" he asked after a few minutes of silence had passed.

Rose resettled herself so she was lying next to him and smiled sheepishly – she hadn't had the heart to remove it. "I got cold," she explained.

"Hmmm…." he said considering. "Looks better on you anyway."

She hit him playfully. "Be serious."

"I am bein' serious!" he said indignantly.

"Yeah, right," she said sarcastically.

"You, Rose Tyler, need to learn how to take a compliment," he stated.

"So you keep telling me," she said, scratching the side of her head, only to be somewhat alarmed when he grabbed her wrist.

"What happened?" he said, his voice filled with concern at seeing the bandaged hand in front of him.

"Dalek," Rose said, noting him stiffen slightly beside her.

"I'm sorry," he said quietly.

Rose shook her head vehemently and turned to face him; she was prepared for this. "No. Not your fault so don't you dare start thinking it."

He swallowed and looked away. "I already have… for the last two days. All the time. Constantly."

She stared at him silently.

"Its been haunting me, Rose," he said, his voice breaking slightly. "I shut those bulk head doors. I left you down there to die. I-I sacrificed the one thing that's most important to me." Silent tears tracked down his cheeks. "And for what? Revenge? To protect Van Statten?"

"No. Christ, no," she said firmly. "For all those other innocent people in the world it would have killed. It wasn't your fault; I signed up for this, remember? I knew the dangers, the risks, everything. And look, it didn't kill me. I'm still alive."

He turned to look at her. It was almost as though he could see right through her. "Not in my dreams," he said so heartbrokenly it hurt.

She pulled him closer to her, entwining her legs with his under the sheet. "But that's all they are, yeah? Just dreams," she said, cupping his chin. "Besides I was the one to let it out. I thought it was innocent, dying…. Instead it used me. Used me to kill all those people; used me to get to you. If it's anyone's fault, it's mine."

"What? No, Rose. You couldn't possibly have known what it was capable of."

"I know. But with all the places we've been to, you'd think I'd know better than to just willy-nilly touch something unknown."

There was a moment of silence. "You never stop making mistakes, no matter how much experience you have," he said quietly and Rose got the feeling there was more meaning behind those words than he was letting on but she decided against pushing.

"Blimey, listen to us. All doom and gloom. Wouldn't think we just survived life threatening attacks and illnesses, would ya?" she said, trying to lighten the mood.

He looked at her square in the eyes. "I was that bad?"

"Yeah," she said quietly, fiddling with a bit of loose thread on the sheet covering them. "Adam figured out you'd been tortured by Van Statten, using an unauthorised x-ray thingy-majig. You collapsed in the console room. You had a hellish fever, shaking all over you were. Took us ages to figure out what medicine and equipment to use. Luckily, Adam figured out how to work it all before your internal organs gave out on us…. We were really worried."

"I know," he said apologetically before changing the subject. "How is the pretty boy? Settling in nicely on the third floor?" he asked with a snide grin

She dug her elbow into his ribs. "The 'pretty boy' helped save your life. And he's set-" Rose cut herself off, frowning as she looked at him.

"What?" he asked cluelessly.

"How did you know Adam was on the floor beneath us?" she asked suspiciously.

The Doctor went very quiet all of sudden; his whole demeanour changed and the tension in the room felt palpable to Rose. Surely he hadn't heard everything she'd said the day before?

"I heard you telling me," he said quietly, refusing to meet her eyes.

"What, exactly, did you hear?" Rose asked, trying not to panic.

What if he hates me now? Or demands that I return home?

"Everything," he said solemnly, finally meeting her eyes in a gaze so intense she wasn't sure if she could hold it.

"O-Oh," she stuttered, unsure of how to proceed. He wasn't giving any clues to how he felt about her confessions. "What d'you reckon then?" she said with a self-conscious shrug, feeling as if her entire world was balanced on his answer.

"I reckon I say 'you're welcome' but you're not the only one who was saved, Rose." He took a breath. "It's a lonely life out here for me. When you agreed to come with me, I'd never been happier. In all my 900 years I've never needed anyone as much as I need you and you're right. There's a lot of darkness in me, but you keep me stable and drive away that despair. I just…." he sighed nervously. "I don't do speeches for a reason, Rose. Maybe if I loved you less, I'd be able to talk about it more. I don't know." He ran a hand through his short hair.

Rose smiled; she couldn't believe he was saying all this. With a laugh, she tightened her grip on him. "You soppy git, c'mere."

Gladly obliging, he caught her lips with his in a slow tender kiss that set his entire body on fire; they'd waited far too long for this moment and he wasn't going to spoil it with his worries for the future. All that mattered was that he needed her and she needed him.

"I'd give anything not to be stuck in this tiny hospital bed," he said with frustration when they finally broke apart.

She laughed quietly in the crook of his neck. "What, even the TARDIS?" she asked jokingly.

"Well, let's not push it, Rose. There are some things even Time Lords can't be without." He smirked at her before cutting off a further retort with a kiss.

When Rose pulled away for air she shot him a disapproving look. "Don't think that's the key to winning all our arguments in the future, mister."

"All right then, just the ones in the past." He grinned, apparently pleased with his own joke.

Rose simply groaned. "I can't believe you just said that; honestly, you're lucky I love you."

"More than lucky," he said, kissing her again.

"Hmmm…. I could get used to that," Rose commented, snuggling down against his chest.

"Well, we have all the time in the world, after all," he whispered before gently resting his head on top of hers and drifting off into a thankfully peaceful sleep, one that was devoid of Daleks and the screams of the people he'd failed.

That was how Adam found them in the morning, curled up around each other. He smiled to himself. He'd guessed they felt something for each other and while he was disappointed, it was clear their attachment wasn't meant to be broken by anyone – let alone him.

Maybe he could convince the Doctor to let him take a pretty girl onboard the TARDIS as well one day.

FINIS