my MarySue parody. I needed to purge. Enjoy.

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Sakura was practicing one morning when she was interrupted by an incredibly melodious voice.

She looked up.

The girl standing in front of her was incredibly, shockingly beautiful, with eyes like huge pools of endless sapphire, with tints of purple and red. She had a full, soft mouth, and an ankle length curtain of shining blonde hair.

She was thin enough to be anorexic, but with curves in all the right places. She wore a tight little red tank top with a logo on it and tiny white shorts that showed off her fabulous legs, and big platform shoes that made her petite form a little taller.

"Konnichiwa!" She chirped, smiling to show blindingly white teeth and flashing a V-sign with her fingers (long, slender, and perfectly manicured, nails painted bubblegum pink). "My name is Ashley Miranda Krystal Princess Shimmer! I'm the other survivor of the Uchiha clan, Gaara's long lost fiancé, and the kyuubi's little sister! Can you direct me to Konoha?"

Sakura's terrified, blood-curdling scream could be heard for miles.

But only after there came a curiously wet thunk….a little like the sound made when a knife was thrown into someone's head…