Now That You've Gone Away

Author: Emma
Rating: PG-13 (or T if you're ff(dot)net…) probably closer to PG though (K+…grrr)
Pairings: JiraiyaxOrochimaru, one-way TsunadexOrochimaru
Genre: probably angst
Disclaimer: That's right, in fact I do own Naruto…eeps! Or not…
Warnings: Shounnen-ai, character death…?
Summary: Orochimaru was a pretty bad person for a pretty long time. But he wasn't always like that. Tsunade and Jiraiya reflect back on their friend at his lonely grave.

Inspired by the song, Gone Away by the Offspring.

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Jiraiya plopped un-ceremonially onto the ground in front of a tombstone. For a moment he simply sat there, relaxing into the grass until it seemed as though he had melted. Not a thing moved. The trees sat still and not even an animal dared scamper by the grave, putting into sharp relief the fact that Jiraiya was the sole mourner. After so long it seemed he had fallen asleep, Jiraiya opened his eyes and sat up more to look at the grave. You could tell it was new, the ground was still slightly damp from being dug up and the tombstone showed no signs of wear or tear. He dug around in one of many pockets to pull out a slightly squished bouquet of black roses. Laying them in front of the stone, Jiraiya reached forward to touch the name engraved into it. There was little writing, only a name, date of death, and date of birth. No epithet, nothing commemorating the body that lay six feet below. Jiraiya sat back again, covering his face with a hand and sighing deeply.

"Orochimaru-kun." Jiraiya paused for a moment, not sure what to say, even though he was only talking to a rock. "I brought black roses, they were the only flower I could find that was dark enough to fit you."

A slight breeze rose up, almost an answer to the statement, making the grave seem less lonely. Jiraiya heaved another all mighty sigh before continuing, "Nobody in the village wanted you to have a proper burial, in fact they practically wanted to rip your body to shreds. I agreed with them at the time, lucky for you Tsunade-chan is more level headed. You would probably hate this and maybe it is more than you deserve, but you were our friend, whether or not you acknowledged it."

Jiraiya moved slightly to scratch his face thoughtfully. He wasn't crying, a good shinobi never shows emotion, but he still couldn't stop his voice from breaking somewhat. "I never really understood why you left us. Being a genius, I thought you would have seen that techniques aren't everything. I guess it's Tsunade-chan's, Sandaime-sama's, and my own fault for not stopping you while we could, but I can still never forgive you for nearly destroying Konoha. Things could have been very different…"

A slight sound from behind caused Jiraiya to stop, trying to identify the intruder. A familiar chakara caused him to relax and call out quietly, "Tsunade-chan."

"That's Hokage-sama now," she corrected softly, moving to sit down next to him.

"Like you could ever get me to call you that," Jiraiya replied with a slight laugh, still focusing on the tombstone.

Tsunade sighed and placed a bouquet of deep red irises next to the roses. "I thought I might find you out here. Alone, of course."

"You know sandaime-sama would have been sitting right by us if he were alive."

Tsunade shifted to pull Jiraiya into a hug, "I know…"

They parted and sat side-by-side for a while, silently expressing their thoughts to the person deep below. Tsunade cleared her throat a little, to pull Jiraiya out of his thoughts and said, "Regret having to kill him?"

Jiraiya shook his head fervently. "Never. I regret letting him leave us in the first place. He brought death upon himself. Still I wish there was something I could have done when we were young to stop him…"

"Don't beat yourself up. I feel the same way sometimes, but there's no point in agonizing over the past."

Jiraiya sighed for what felt like the hundredth time that day. "You're right."

Again there was silence between the two. Behind them, the sun began to set, painting the sky a variety of reds and oranges. The Hokage Mountain was backlit, outlining their faces. It was beautiful, but as Tsunade looked at it she was only reminded to the blood that had just been shed to defeat her former friend. Not liking the sight, she turned back to look at Jiraiya and the tombstone.

"Long before Dan, I was in love with him," Tsunade whispered.

"So was I," Jiraiya replied, not looking at her.

Tsunade raised her voice somewhat, "Nani? You mean as a friend?"

Jiraiya shook his head. "No, we were lovers for about a year. Although I guess lovers isn't the right word when talking about Orochimaru-kun, more like fuck-buddies. That's not right either, but it's closer."

Tsunade was surprised. Her eyes widened and when she spoke her voice was slightly higher. "Why didn't I know about this? That seems somewhat out of character for Orochimaru…"

Jiraiya almost laughed, "You almost caught us once. We had just finished…and you were about to bang down the door asking what we were doing. Good thing Orochimaru-kun was so fast at putting up illusions."

Tsunade pulled a face at the thought of what she had almost walked in on. "Still, I can't imagine him letting anyone get that close. He took the 25th ninja rule to heart."

Jiraiya stood up, turning away from her to look at the sunset. "We weren't like that. I was more of a convenience for him. At the time I wanted to be more, but he would never have allowed it. I haven't felt that way about him for a long time. It hurt so much when he betrayed Konoha."

Tears fell softly down Tsunade's face. She made no move to stand up and comfort her friend, knowing he had to fight off his own demons. Un-interestedly she watched a snake slither through the grass towards the tombstone, probably the only animal that would dare cross this ground.

Jiraiya turned around, face devoid of tears, but looking solemn. "Did you tell Anko about the grave?"

Tsunade shook her head, "No, she wouldn't have wanted to come. The Orochimaru she knew wasn't the friend we had. He left a mark on her that she will never forget."

"I suppose he deserves this…loneliness."

"Don't say that. We will come and visit. Through us his good side will never be forgotten." Tsunade stood up to pull Jiraiya into a quick hug. "We will never forget."

Jiraiya stood there, watching the snake curl around the tombstone and begin to slither a way. He heaved a sigh and began to walk away. "Sayonara, Orochimaru-kun."

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(Edit- Thanks to Irukasensei22 for pointing out my mistake at the end!) Thanks for reading! I hope you liked it, this was my first fanfic here…please read & review! If there's enough interest I really want to write more sannin fics, there just aren't enough out there. Any suggestions can be sent to fight4foo(at)gmail(dot)com.