Author: Jess J PM
There was no shadow of my father in that gaze, in that face. I looked at him as if he was a stranger, because that was what he was.Rated: Fiction K+ - English - Angst/Drama - Words: 691 - Reviews: 5 - Favs: 5 - Follows: 1 - Published: 05-11-05 - id: 2389588
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Author's note: I rarely ever write L/S from this character's perspective (outside the almost completely dead fic of mine, The Covenant), which is kind of sad. So it was time to write a ficlet from her POV. Though it's not completely L/S, nor is L/S the main focus, but it's there. Anyway, here it is, hope you enjoy, reviews are wonderful.
Disclaimer: I own nothing, please don't sue me.
I knew the moment he walked up to my cell, the familiar blue eyes I had always found cold yet somehow comforting, firm yet like a resource of strength and not a glare of judgment and sentence now icy and detached. There was no shadow of my father in that gaze, in that face. I looked at him as if he was a stranger, because that was what he was.
I tried not to let the despair overwhelm me before he had even spoken. I fought back the tears and the cries and the shouts and the pleas. I knew he would kill Lucian, I had known from the moment he had entered my room and found us together. I had feared her would sentence me as well, and that I could have faced. But the moment I looked in his eyes, I knew he would take not only my husband and mate, but my child, and my life.
I would lose my family. I would be killed, my child still inside, and my love would follow us. Perhaps we would be reunited in the afterlife, if it exists. Perhaps tonight I shall pray to the humans' God to spare myself and my family and take us into His Heaven. Perhaps He will listen and forgive us and take us in when my own father will condemn us to death.
I remained silent as this stranger before me tells me my sentence, his voice lacking any and all emotion, his eyes cold and impenetrable. I stared at him, forcing myself to be as cold as he is, to steel myself to this horrid, cruel fate. I did not show any more recognition than he does, and I watched as he left me, alone and broken in a dirty cell.
I wept after he leaves and I could no longer hear his footsteps. I fell to the ground, soft whimpers escaping me as I weep for my child and my husband and myself. I thanked the humans' God that I would die with my family. It would have been torture enough to go on without Lucian, but to lose my own child as well, I would have no reasons to live on, to continue to exist in such a decadent world.
I barely slept that night. So cold, so empty. I gently stroked my stomach and sung soft lullabies to myself and my child. I prayed the child will forgive myself and Lucian for not keeping a better ear out, for not being more careful. I prayed to the humans' God that we will find peace, and that no pain will come to my child. Myself and Lucian, we will not be so lucky, but surely God will see to it my child will not suffer any pain.
I knew they were hurting Lucian already. I knew they were beating him, torturing him for loving me. He would die because of me. My wonderful, wonderful mate and sun, they would kill him because I had let him touch me, I had returned his love and given him every signal to come to me, to claim me. I knew he would be a pitiful sight should I see him again before my death.
And I knew my father would be the cold, impassive stranger he had been earlier. I knew he would not consider the life in my womb to be his grandchild and his heir and a prince, nor would he look at Lucian and see a son-in-law. And he would not look at me and see his daughter and his heir and a princess. And I would not see my father.