Disclaimer: Don't own Yugi-oh or it's characters. They belong soley to people who made a shit load of money off all my younger siblings during the initial craze.

Warnings: Strange, hints of yaoi, and very strange.

Notes: I admit I'm not very familiar with the show or manga right now, and I'm not entirely pleased how this turned out. Strange ditty here, it's supposed to be a dialogue from one person. Thanks to Silver for proof reading.

Down the hole
by fairady

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Hey! New kid!

Hey, wait up!

What? Surprised that I know you're new here? Well that's because I used to stalk you at your last school and- Quit that, I'm just joking!

Really, you just have that look all the new students have when they first come here. No, no. It's nothing bad, really. We call it the 'Alice' look. You know, all lost and confused. It must've been the look Alice had when she first went to Wonderland. Not really sure if she should run in fear or join in the insanity dancing around her.

Would you quit that? I'm not a psycho or anything. I'm just trying to tell you a few things you need to know about Domino before you find out for yourself. Trust me, it's better if you don't find out on your own. There are some really weird people here and really weird things always happen around them.

If you're going to try to run at least pick a place that isn't a dead end.

So anyway, I was trying to warn you about some of the people here. Come on, it's time for lunch and I can point them all out to you in the cafeteria.

You really need to stop that. If I was going to do anything to you do you think I'd be leading you to the most populated part of the school? No, I wouldn't. I would've led you through that hole in the wall right there, which leads to the basement boiler room where no one could hear your screams. It's very big and no one ever goes down there...Ever.

Damn, you know, you're really starting to annoy me. I'm just trying to help.

Here we are! See, I really was bringing you to the cafeteria. Now don't you feel like an idiot? Quit that, no one is going to 'save' you. You don't need to be saved. So listen up while I fill you in.

Hm, well the easiest way to start is with her. The pretty little girl over there is Jounouchi Shizuka and she has all but three of the male population at school chasing her. You don't have to worry about her, but it's just easier to start with her and work outwards.

See that taller girl to the left of her? She's Mazaki Anzu. She's not really weird either, but her boyfriend is. She keeps getting herself kidnapped and threatened just to get to him. Oh, under no circumstances should you attempt to hit on her. You'll have to deal with her boyfriend, and trust me, that's not something you want to do.

Ow! What was that for! Well, how was I supposed to know your tastes didn't run that way? I'm trying to help you here, you should be more grateful.

Anyway the midget with the freaky hair next to her is her boyfriend, Mutou Yugi. He's one of the three guys not chasing Shizuka-chan. You heard of him before? I suppose you must like those cards then, he's won a bunch of tournaments. Anyway, he might seem nice but don't be fooled. If you piss him off he'll just snap and kill you. Don't believe me? You should. People are always trying to pick fights with him, but you never see any of them again once he's snapped. He's probably got bodies stashed everywhere.

Moving on then. That really big guy next to Mutou is Hiroto Honda. He used to be in a gang and gets into a lot of fights. A cute thing like you should stay far away from him. He can be rather...agressive if he takes a liking to you. I bet he helps Mutou hide the bodies when he's done with them.

The pretty looking guy is Otogi Ryuuji. Yeah, he's famous too, quit drooling on me. You'd best stay away from him too. He's just as bad as Honda with cute things, uses his looks to make people lower their guards and then- Well, I'm sure I really don't need to elaborate any more. No one ever really believes someone like that could do those things but trust me, he can.

That blonde kid over there is another one of the guys not chasing Shizuka, but that's only because he's her brother. He's called Jounouchi Katysuya, yeah he's big on those cards too. Better watch him though, he also used to be in a gang and he beats on every guy who tries to get close to his sister. Real short fuse too, just about anything can set him off into a rage. Especially that guy over there.

That's Kaiba Seto. I know everyone knows him so I won't explain. He's the third guy who isn't chasing Shizuka. Most people find it unsurprising due to his being an unfeeling bastard who drinks the blood of virgins. While he is and he does, personally I don't think that has anything to do with it. I think it's just because the only Jounouchi he wants to get inside of is the brother.

See. That wasn't so bad now was it? Now you know all about the people you should be avoiding around here. Isn't it better to have been told rather than to have found out first hand?

Whoa, you don't look so good there. Why don't we step out of here. I'm sure you'll feel better if you walk around for a bit.

Calm down, you're starting to hyperventilate. Don't let them worry you too much. The reason I told you about them was so that you knew to stay away. Of course there are some others you should watch out for too, but those guys are the worst. As long as you're smart and stay away from them you'll be perfectly safe.

You are smart aren't you?

I thought so too.

Me? Oh, that was pretty rude of me not to properly introduce myself wasn't it? My name is Bakura.

It's so nice to meet you Alice, watch that hole.

---

Yeah V. strange. Don't know what compelled me to write it as Yami Bakura's dialogue since he and Ryou are the characters I know the least about. I'm pretty sure I made Bakura too patient.

Just thought one day that Domino is a strange school and how would a new person see it? Then I thought there would be some sort of an orientation speech like this. Then I thought Bakura would love to give his own version of it just to fuck with people's minds. And I don't know what happened after that.