Chapter 1: The Trouble With Sadists

Horo: -Twirls around does summersaults, and other Olympic things-... WHAT"S HAPPENING?

Shadow: -pops outta nowhere-

Shadow: i want REVENGE!

Shadow: I'm wet! Dammit!

Lyserg: -screams- the demons are back!

Shadow: uhmm... she never went missing... -points to Tsumi-

Hao: Tsumiko's been doing her own revenge...

Shadow: now it's time for MINE! -Brings out wand- DANCE LITTLE IDIOTS DANCE! MUHAAHAHAHAHAHA!

Tsumiko: -sits in a corner, stabbing something with nails, and daggers- Die!

Tsumiko: Oh… Hi, cuz...

Shadow: hello there Tsumi, how've you been?

Tsumiko: fine...

Tsumiko: just doing something...

Shadow: what?

HORO: -Keeps on summer sault-ing-...

Hao: Is that a voodoo doll of Horo?

Shadow: should you keep him like that?

Tsumiko: yup!

Shadow: ok then! -Flicks wand and Hao, Ren and Lyserg start dancing around like morons-

Ren: Get her away from us!

Shadow: who? Me?

Ren:(sarcastic) nope, get Tsumiko away from us...

Shadow: can't and won't.

Lyserg: She's tormenting us!

Shadow: so? What's your point?

Horo: -hits his head on the ceiling-

Shadow: Hehehe... funny...

Tsumiko: mwahahahahahahahahahahaha!

Yoh: What's going on?

Tsumiko: Ooops...

Shadow: -sets fire to Lyserg and Hao's pants- that'll teach you not to throw me down wells...

Tsumiko: hi Yoh...

Tsumiko: -Hides doll-

Horo: ...help...

Shadow: hello Yoh, I'm back!

Yoh: Hi!

Shadow: You're damn brother hit me over the head with a chair and threw me down a well. With the help of broccoli tops, Lenny and the floating acrobatic snow bunny over there...

Tsumiko: THEY WHAT?

All but Yoh and the authors: Uh...

Shadow: -goes to the bathroom muttering darkly-

Shadow: - comes back with new DRY clothes- where's Hao? HAO!

Yoh: Tsu-chan, is that a cursed doll you're hiding?

Hao: Get away!

Shadow: -chases Hao-

Tsumiko : NOPE!

Tsumiko: I swear it isn't!

Shadow: Tsumi, i need to borrow your Hao doll... left mine somewhere...

Tsumiko : Kay... oops...

Shadow: what?

Horo: help...

Shadow: why?

Tsumiko : wait a sec... -hands over Hao voodoo doll-

Shadow: -takes doll- and makes it dance in the air with wand-

Hao: -floats around in the air dancing and hitting stuff- PUT ME DOWN!

Tsumiko : I promise I won't do it anymore! Kay, Yoh-kun?

Tsumiko : -crosses fingers-

Shadow: huh? -still playing with doll

Yoh: you're crossing your fingers behind your back...

Tsumiko : Damn...

Shadow: no she's not!

Tsumiko : Shadow, a little help...

Shadow: what do i do?

Kitty: Yes she is!

Shadow: who the HELL are YOU?

Yoh: Tsu-chan's alter egos?

Kitty: YUP!

Tsumiko : Die!

Shadow: crap! not again! Tsumi, want me to kill her?

Tsumiko : sure...

Yoh: -stares at her-

Tsumiko : Fine. Don't.

Shadow: Aww.. why?

Kitty: Let it be known... our mistress' only flaw...

Shadow: is Yoh?

Kitty: She can't say no to Yoh Asakura

Tsumiko : Shadow, are you lost?

Shadow: kinda am...

Tsumiko : sorry...

Tsumiko : -Looks at Yoh-

Tsumiko : Damn! Those eyes! Ahh!

Tsumiko : -Vanishes in a trail of smoke-

Hao: Shadow, what's wrong with her?

Shadow: she's fine. just needed some time to herself. now i wanna kick some ass. that well was stinky, dirty and i had to share it with samara! she's major-ly cranky... and ugly too...

Shadow: wait...- vanishes as well-

Shadow: -pops back- got her!

Tsumiko : -Gets back holding 5 huge boxes and dumps them on the ground to reveal thousands of voodoo dolls-

Shadow: OOOOH! I WANT SOME!

Tsumiko : Get it as fast as you can...

Ren: Yoh, do something...

Shadow: -GRABS A WHOLE BOX-

Horo: -Still on the ceiling- Help me...

Lyserg: They're demonesses i tell you!

Shadow: ! no one can stop my revenge now!

Yoh: Tsu-chan...

Tsumiko : ARGGHHHH!

Tsumiko : Fine!

Tsumiko : -Burns dolls-

Shadow: NOOOOOO! Yoh?

Tsumiko : -Cries- ...Why? Why? Why can't I stand those damned eyes! If you just didn't suffer as much in your past and if you weren't so friggin' kind, I could have endured you! But no! Why must I suffer this?

Shadow: -hides her box of voodoo dolls-

Shadow: Yoh...

Yoh: Umm... what did i do?

Shadow: do me a favor will you?

Horo: Dude, ...you made her cry...

Shadow: -screams at Horo who is still on the ceiling- HE WASN'T TALKING TO YOU!

Horo: -gapes- okaaay...

Yoh: what?

Shadow: hide your eyes behind contacts. -hands him container-

Hao: Why?

Tsumiko : -Still crying- I can't stand to say no to his eyes!

Shadow: - brings out sword- NONE OF YOUR DAMN BUSINESS!

Tsumiko : He's too damned kind!

Ren: Get off it...

Shadow: true, now go to the room and get Jun, Tsumi... kay?

Tsumiko : Kay!

Tsumiko : Cross-dressing time!

Shadow: yuppers!

Yoh: Sorry 'bout that... didn't mean to offend you...

Tsumiko : It's nothing!

Tsumiko : It's Horo's fault in the beginning!

Tsumiko : Never yours!

Shadow: go! go, i need to extract my revenge on these 3

Tsumiko : -vanishes into the bathroom-

Shadow: -turns to Hao, Horo and Lyserg- now for some fun... brings out dagger...

Tsumiko : -drags Yoh with her- ...Sorry... can't let Yoh be alone with these idiots, points at

Ren, Lyserg, Hao, and Horo-

Tsumiko : What about Ren?

Shadow: take Ren! he's not finished with the uh- treatment...

Ren: What treatment?

Shadow: i need to make these three dumbasses see what pain is...

All but the authors, Ren and Yoh: OO

Shadow: happy you dropped me in a well?

Horo: Yes.

Hao: IDIOT!

Shadow: -narrows eyes- prepare to experience hell! -grins evilly-

Horo: I'm innocent!

Shadow: -brings out sword-

Ren: It was your idea, aho

Shadow:-turns to the purple clad shaman- what're you doing here?

Shadow: do you wanna take part in the torture?

Tsumiko : Oops... sorry 'bout that

Shadow: I was all wet and cold and it's ALL YOU'RE DAMN FAULT!

Shadow: TSUMI!

Ren: Nope. Tsuki, hurry up

Tsumiko : Why are you calling me "Tsuki"?

Shadow: i have no idea...

Yoh: Her penname's Silent Darkness Tsumiko...

Shadow: so?

Ren: Well, her livejournal name is Moon Essence Tsukiyo...

Hao: What does Moonlight and Child of Sin have together?

Shadow: still. SO?

Lyserg: Both are symbols of the darkness!

Hao: Moonlight is?

Shadow: OK... I'M LOST...

Tsumiko : Shadow, just kill them all except for Yoh...

Tsumiko : need help?

Shadow: nah I'm fine. but wait...

Tsumiko : Yoh-kun, Anna's calling you.

Yoh: -Vanishes-

Tsumiko : What?

Tsumiko : -Brings out more voodoo dolls- Just made them a while ago...

Tsumiko : I hate having to lie to Yoh...

Shadow: we won't have any1 to play with... we'll have to settle for torture...

Tsumiko : Guess you're right...

Shadow: you take Lyserg and Ren ne? broccoli tops is weird..

Lyserg: HEY! Just because I'm of faith...

Hao: Whatever.

Shadow: I'll go kill Hao and Horo. Hao's my torture toy.. Hehehe...

Lyserg: Shut it, murderer!

Shadow: I'm NOT A MURDERER...

Hao: Get lost, freak! Author, get the hell away from me...

Tsumiko : Actually, he was referring to Hao...

Shadow: ok then!

Shadow: I'm fine with that... totally fine... fine just fine!

Tsumiko : Shall we?

Shadow: oh we shall!

Tsumiko : -Takes out homicidal stuff...-

Horo: We're dead...

Shadow: no REALLY? i never would've known!

Tsumiko: Hehehe

Hao: Spirit of Fire!

Shadow: - squeezes Hao doll making the real Hao's eyes bulge-I DON'T GIVE A SHIT!

Shadow: ooh.. moon...-googly eyes-

Shadow: -throws the Hao doll out the window along with Hao himself and stares at the pretty moon-

Hao:- falling down the window- SHIIIIIT!

Tsumiko : Is there a crimson moon?

Tsumiko : I need a symbol for death... -smirks at Horo-

Horo:-sweat drops-

Shadow: dunno... but there's a near orange one...

Shadow: u get that?

Tsumiko : Nope... can ya send it to me?

Lyserg: Hey! We're still alive here!

Hao: Dumbass brat...

Tsumiko : Hmm... kill them?

Tsumiko : torture?

Shadow: -brings out doll from pocket and feeds it to rabid dogs- you were saying?

Horo: SHIT! Fuck it, Diethyl! You're gonna get us killed?

Shadow: no really? (sarcastic)

Tsumiko : Aren't you already in hell?

Hao: shut the fuck up.

Shadow: How'd you get up Hao? Tsumi, did you know that there's an anime called Crimson moon?

Shadow: and Hao?

Tsumiko : -Burns hair of Hao voodoo doll-

Tsumiko : nope

Tsumiko : kinda forgot

Tsumiko : Arai Tsuki by any chance?

Shadow: and i found a pic of a blood red moon for you!

Hao: - runs around putting the fire out of his hair- Sure!

Tsumiko : Thanks!

Shadow: send it to ya later kay?

Tsumiko : Kay!

Shadow: and Hao stop running around like an idiot. Its just hair...

Shadow: it's only burning

Hao: NO IT ISN"T!

Shadow: really? shit! then I'll make it!

Hao: IT"S THE ONLY THING THAT MAKES ME DIFFERENT FROM YOH!

Tsumiko : no, really?

Shadow: so? being bald will make you different.

Hao: NO WAY IN HELL!

Tsumiko : This is so amusing... Mwaahahahahahaha!

Shadow: I'm from there remember? besides, who's gonna stop me? yoh doesn't affect me in the same way as Tsumi. - lights up a candle-

Tsumiko : -Juggling voodoos of Lyserg and Horo-

Shadow: how fun! i wanna try!

Tsumiko : How about him?

Shadow: who?

Tsumiko : -throws her voodoo dolls and the two collides on the wall-

Shadow: are they dead yet?

Tsumiko : a six hundred year old samurai

Tsumiko : Nope.

Shadow: AMIDAMARU!

Hao: you like that samurai?

Tsumiko : Shut it, asshole.

Shadow: CRAP! they're not?

Lyserg: you kill us, otakos gonna kill you...

Shadow: -looks askance at Hao- why do you ask?

Tsumiko : -brandishes scythe- let them try...

Shadow: otako?

Tsumiko : fan girls...

Tsumiko : but... they won't kill us 'cuz they don't know us...

Shadow: oh... Pfft! Like i CARE? besides, they can't kill us...

Tsumiko : Yup!

Tsumiko : Besides, I'm too suicidal and homicidal!

Tsumiko : I'll kill them first!

Shadow: we died already... and she has a point... they'd die before they can even get near us.

Kitty: I'll tell Yoh that you lied to him...

Tsumiko : So?

Shadow: Hehehe

Tsumiko : Cuz, do ya have an alter ego i could borrow?

Shadow: sure! which one?

Tsumiko : anyone sadistic enough to torture Kitty here without killing her... just make her

have a mental breakdown...

Kitty: oops...

Tsumiko : Hey! I just realized we don't have a plot!

Horo: Killing us is one...

Shadow: kay... (shouts) GRIFFIN!

Griffin: WHAT shade?

Shadow: your not allowed to call me that shitty bastard. go get your chains and torture stuff and go to my cousin's house.

Shadow: what's her name Tsumi?

Tsumiko : Kitty.

Griffin: killing is it?

Tsumiko : you can't miss her... well, maybe except for Cathy but annihilate her too if ya like

Griffin: alright. I'll be there in fifteen minutes. do you have a padded room. it drowns out the sounds of their screaming

Shadow: Okay… back to us, eh? Where's Yoh?

Tsumiko: One word. Anna.

Hao: Poor Yoh…

Lyserg: I'm wondering why you don't have a fiancée, you murderer.

Hao: Come off it, Jackass.

Horo: Somebody get me down from the ceiling.

Ren: Its better this way. At least your stupidity doesn't affect others from there.

Horo: Shut it, asshole!

Tsumiko: -Writing-

Amidamaru: What are you doing, if I may ask?

Shadow: AMIDAMARU!

Ren, Lyserg, Hao and Horo: You like the samurai? That's a shock…

Tsumiko: Hey, We're not the ones with the obsession with his little brother, obsession for revenge, obsession to rule the world, and the habit of doing something because of stupidity here…

Horo: Get off our case!

Ren: As much as I hate it, I agree with the snow bunny! I'm not obsessed with taking over the world!

Shadow: Look who's talking…

Shadow: Amidamaru, you're a six hundred year old samurai, right?

Amidamaru: Yes.

Shadow: The greatest warrior? Yippee! Thanks a lot, Tsumi! Anyways, wanna get some revenge?

Amidamaru: Revenge upon who?

Shadow: -Vanishes with Amidamaru to somewhere-

Lyserg: -Looks at the remaining author who continues to write while doing more Olympic things to Horo weirdly-

Hao: -Gives the same look-

Ren: what the hell are you writing?

Tsumiko: -Takes out miniature size of Ren's Kwan-dao and positions it at Ren's neck- NOYB

Horo: HUH?

Hao: Let me guess, None Of Your Business

Tsumiko: -Takes out miniature scissors and threateningly places them near the voodoo Hao's hair- YNBOA

Lyserg: I don't get it…

Yoh: -From afar- Yes, Now Back Off Asshole

Ren: It's scary that he knows her very well…

Lyserg: -Nods-

Horo: HELLO! Have I become invisible or something? I'm still stuck in the ceiling if ya haven't noticed!

Tsumiko: -Ignores him but says- …IAAAFOMWLYAIWHTS

Ren: …

Hao: …

Lyserg: I have no idea what she just said…

Horo: Hmm… -Dreamy eyes- I'm Angry At A Friend Of Mine Who Likes You And I Want Her To Suffer?

Ren, Hao, and Lyserg: The odds of that are a trillion to one…

Tsumiko: OMG… he's right…

Ren, Hao and Lyserg: WTF?

Shadow: -Pops outta nowhere with Amidamaru- That was fun!

Amidamaru: Though he may have been evil and greedy… maybe we were too much…

Shadow: Nah… that emperor's the one at fault when you and Mosuke died and it's because of him that you were believed to be an assassin…

Amidamaru: I suppose you're right…

Shadow: Hey, Tsumi! Whaddya doing?

Tsumiko: -Grins-

Ren: I don't like that look…

Hao: I don't even know what it means but I have a bad feeling its something reaaaaaaaaaally bad…

Lyserg: -Nods-

Tsumiko: -Hands over papers while grinning sadistically-

Shadow: -Reads it really fast-

Shadow: -Smirks-

Shadow: -Looks up…- this is gonna be fun…

End Of Chapter One

Yoh: What were you writing…?

Tsumiko: …

Yoh: Tsu-chan…?

Tsumiko: -Grins- a script for a certain play…

Tsumiko: -Grins even more evilly- For the next chapter…

shadow: now for some fun! r/r!