Donna Moss zipped up her small blue suitcase and set it on the floor next to her bed. She walked out into the living room and glanced around her apartment one last time. Donna was grateful that her roommate Sarah was out of town for the week. It had given her a chance to pack things
up without any tense confrontations. Those were the last things Donna needed right now. So far she'd been successful at avoiding everybody.

Josh had been with the President on the trip to the African summit that week so it'd been easy for her to call in sick. At the thought of Josh fresh tears sprang to Donna's eyes.....They had been dancing around the
thing between them for the past three and a half years. Now with less than three months together as a couple Donna was forced to break the heart of the only man she'd ever truly loved.
Donna hastily wiped the tears away and stepped back into her bedroom.
She picked up the suitcase and shut off the light before retracing her steps to the living room.

Donna left her keys and a note for Sarah on the kitchen counter. The sun was barely coloring the Washington horizon but knew she had to leave now to beat the morning rush hour. With luck she'd be well on her way to her destination before anybody knew she was gone.

************

Josh Lyman stumbled into the West Wing two days later amazed that he seemed to be the only one from the Africa trip affected by jetlag. He passed CJ's office and glowered at her way too cheerful 'Good morning'.
The Deputy Chief of Staff walked through the communications bull pen and was almost out of it and in his office before it sank in that somebody besides Donna was sitting at her desk.

"Where's Donna?"Josh demanded as he approached the twenty year old red haired man with green eyes and wire rimmed glasses.

"Who?"

"The woman who's desk you're sitting at."Josh replied starting to get worried. Donna rarely if ever called in sick.

"I don't know."The youth replied as he turned the chair so he could kick his feet up on the desk. "I just got a way too early phone call from the temp agency saying to report to the White House. Is there any coffee around here?"

Josh glared at him missing Donna every second. "I believe that falls under your job description. Feet off the desk."He replied as he turned and walked out of the bull pen hoping that Sam was in by now.

Sam glanced up from his laptop as Josh walked through his open office door. "How was Africa?"

"Busy and hot."Josh replied as he slumped down into one of the chairs. "Have you seen Donna?"

"Today?"

"I'd settle for recently."

"Lose your assistant?"

Josh leaned forward. "I'm worried, Sam. She never calls in sick."

"Have you called her at home?"

Josh shook his head. "Just got in haven't had a chance yet."

Sam frowned in thought. "You know come to think of it I haven't seen her much this week."

The worry Josh was feeling earlier began to form into cold fear. "She hasn't been here all week?"

Sam looked at him strangely. "You didn't touch base with Donna at all while you were gone?"

Josh rubbed a hand over the back of his neck. "You know what it's like at a summit, Sam. Everything's crazy and hectic by the time you remember to sleep it's time to do it all over again. I meant to call her but I just never got a chance."

"Wish I could help, Josh, but I haven't seen her."Sam replied. "Why don't you talk to Cathy or Margaret? They'll know more than anybody."

Josh stood. "Yeah."

"I'm sure it's just the flu or something."Sam assured his friend before turning his attention back to the speech on his laptop.

*********

Josh stepped into his office and quickly picked up his phone and dialed a familiar number. He swore silently as the answering machine picked up.

"Donnatella, it's me....if you're there pick up.......okay, you're probably asleep or in the shower. I'll come by as soon as I can.....hope you feel better.....I love you."

It was only as he hung up the phone that Josh glanced at the schedule the temp from beach bum school had scratched out.

Josh picked up the paper and held it up to the light. "And I thought Donna's handwriting was illegible."

He either had a meeting with Toby in an hour or he was five minutes late.
Josh decided on the later and pocketed his schedule and moved quickly for Toby's office.

Twenty minutes before Toby and Josh were due to complete their meeting Leo McGarry tapped on Toby's door.

"There's going to be a meeting in the Oval in ten minutes."Leo reported skipping any pleasantries. It'd been a hell of a day already and showed no signs of getting better.

Josh frowned. "What's going on?"

Leo stepped in and shut the door behind him. "American cruise ship was sunk off the coast of England."
"Was sunk?"Toby asked trying to recall how many people a modern cruise ship could hold.

"Scuttled."Leo confirmed grimly. "Coast Guard was only able to rescue a hundred survivors."

"A hundred?"Josh repeated shocked knowing that was a tenth of what a ship that big carried no matter what the time of the year.

Leo nodded sadly before opening the door. "Oval, ten minutes."He reaffirmed before leaving the office.

********

For Josh the rest of the day was spent dealing with the cruise ship disaster. His original plan to check on Donna at lunch became checking on her during a late dinner break.

In between meetings with CJ to keep the press from treating this as the next Titanic Josh was burning up the phone lines. All his calls to Donna's apartment went unanswered which caused his fear to skyrocket. Even her Super wasn't there.

By five o'clock Josh was racking his brain to remember her roommate's last name....if he could track her down at work maybe she could tell him how Donna was.
A search through Donna's desk had come up with the roommate's last name and work number but it was seven before Josh had a chance to call and by then the place was closed.

At eight thirty Josh had his coat on and was half way across the bullpen before CJ's voice snagged him.

"Whatever it is, Claudia Jean, I'm out the door."Josh called even as she stepped out of her office.

"Josh...."

"Half hour, CJ."Josh replied not turning around. "Half hour, forty minutes tops and I'll be back."

"Josh."CJ stated quietly as she stepped into the bullpen. She knew how worried her friend was about Donna so she had done some checking of her own. "I don't think you'll find Donna at home."

Josh froze midstep and turned around. "What? CJ, she's sick....where else would she be if she's not at home buried under a pile of blankets and two cats."

"I knew you were worried so I did some checking."CJ replied as she crossed the space between them. "I called Mrs. Landingham who called personal....Josh, Donna didn't call in sick....I mean she did but she also quit."

*******

It took Josh thirty-three minutes to reach Donna's apartment. It was the longest thirty-three minutes of his life. None of this was making any sense.
Before he left for Africa things were perfect. They had been dating seriously for nearly four months.
Both of them were deliriously happy or so he thought......why would she quit so suddenly? The Donna he knew and had fallen in love with would've talked with him first.....so they could sort out whatever was bothering her.

Josh pulled over and parked near the alley by Donna's apartment building. He went inside and took the stairs two at a time to her second floor apartment.
He knocked on her door....waited......then knocked again.

"Donna, it's me."

Silence was his only answer so Josh found the spare key she had hidden above the door. He quickly let himself in and was surprised to find a dark apartment.

Josh flipped on the living room light and moved through the small apartment. "Donna?"

It was only when he stepped into her bedroom that Josh realized CJ was right. Donna was gone....her closet was empty, her suitcase missing.

Josh crumpled down onto the edge of her bed his head dropping into his hands. His mind was reeling...his heart racing......why? Why now?
Did she finally give up on him and leave?
Deep in his heart Josh knew that wasn't true.

Donna was in trouble somewhere he could feel it. It had to be something major for her to leave everything that she knew in D.C.
What scared Josh most of all was that whatever it was she couldn't come to him.

"Where are you Donnatella?"Josh whispered into the empty apartment.

***********

Sam Seaborn lay still for a moment not sure what had awaken him. Then he heard a sharp noise and for a brief moment was transported instantly to that dark night in May. Sam realized the sound was knocking and shook away the dark memories. He glanced at his alarm clock on his nightstand....three twenty two.
Sam tossed the covers off and padded blearily to the door.....nothing good ever happened at three twenty two in the morning.

"Josh?"Sam asked as his best friend brushed past him into the apartment. At first Sam assumed Josh was drunk....it wouldn't be the first time he showed up at his door at this hour smelling of scotch.

Josh turned to face him running a hand through his short brown hair and Sam could see that Josh's eyes were clear. Clear and worried.

"She's gone, Sam."

Sam closed the door behind him and crossed to the living room. "Who?"

Josh sank down onto the sofa. He'd spent the past four hours calling area hospitals, airports and bus stations. "Donna....she just left, Sam.....her suitcase is gone....everything's gone."

Sam sat down in a chair across from his friend concern driving the remnants of sleep away from his mind."Are you sure? Maybe she took a trip."

"Without telling me?"Josh shook his head miserably. "CJ checked with personal, Sam....she quit."

"Did something happen between you before you left for Africa?"Sam asked with a frown. "I mean not work related?"

Josh shook his head as he stood and walked over to the window. "No, everything was fine....perfect. Or so I thought. She pieced me back together after the shooting, Sam. She wouldn't just leave like this."

"No, she wouldn't."Sam agreed quietly he'd watched Donna closely since the shooting worried for her as much as he had been for Josh. She had been his strength, his protector, his nurse all wrapped up into one. On a number of occasions Sam had meant to talk to her but time just got away from him.

Josh turned to face his best friend. "I need to find her, Sam. I can't just let her end things like this. This isn't her....something's wrong I know it."

Sam stood and walked over placing a reassuring hand on Josh's left shoulder. "We'll find her, I promise. First let's get some food, then we'll talk to Leo."

*********

Donna Moss walked along the pier in Clearwater, Florida. She still had a couple days before she was due to start her new job.

Donna sat down on the corner of a bench and stared out at the ocean ignoring what the early afternoon sun was doing to her unprotected alabaster skin. Her mind was miles away....back in D.C.
Had Josh noticed she was gone yet?
Was he looking for her?

Donna swallowed hard and fought the fresh wave of tears that threatened to spill. She had thought leaving Madison to drive to New Hampshire had been tough but this was far worse.
She just hoped that someday Josh would understand.

*********

Leo had to threaten to lock Josh up in the freezer of the White House kitchen. The threat was the only thing that seemed to get a response from Josh that wasn't yelling.
All morning Josh had been ready to strangle the next D.C. police detective who told them that it was too soon to put out a missing person report on Donna.

The week that she wasn't at work wasn't enough for the police to put out an APB.

"Leo."

"I'm sorry Josh but you can't get out of those meetings."

"Donna's missing and you expect me to sit in some Senator's office on the Hill for four hours and listen to...."

"We need those votes Josh."Leo replied patiently hoping that it would take Josh's mind off of Donna if only for a few hours.

"Forget it, Leo."Josh said angrily as he turned and walked toward the door nearly toppling Margaret in the process.

"Josh."

Josh froze in the doorway he knew that tone all too well. It was one that Leo usually reserved for Congressmen and other heads of State who didn't do what the President wanted. But still he didn't turn. If Leo wanted to fire him that was fine. Donna's life was more important to him at the moment than his job.

"Josh, go to the Hill....I'll place a few calls on this end and see if I can get in contact with Donna's brother. We'll set up a call with him when you return....."

"Fine."Josh replied stiffly as he stormed past Margaret and into the communications bullpen.

"No word?"Margaret asked as she watched Josh's retreating back worriedly.

Leo shook his head as he came to stand next to her. "No, get me Norfolk on the phone."

Two hours later Sam had just grabbed a sandwich from the mess and stepped back into his office when his phone rang. He juggled the sandwich and soda to his other arm as he picked up the receiver.

"Seaborn?"Sam answered as he walked around his desk and sat down.

"Do me a favor."Josh replied as he held his cell phone to his ear with his shoulder. He was standing just outside of Senator Grantham's office at Capitol Hill and the hallway was crowded. Somebody bumped his left elbow and Josh moved closer to the office door.

Sam deposited the sandwich and soda on his desk. "I thought you were meeting with Grantham?"

"I am. We took a break."Josh explained as he navigated the crowd to move to the window. "Sam, do you remember Paul Robbins?"

Sam reached for his unopened soda. "Vaguely wasn't he a rookie reporter on the Hill beat when we were there?"

Josh nodded. "Yeah, now he's a P.I. I need you to find his number and get him over to my office before I get back."

Sam opened the soda and reached back for the sandwich. "Josh, I know sitting there must be tou...."

"Tough?"Josh snapped as he whirled away from the window. "Sam, you have no idea. I'm sitting there listening to Grantham drone on about the disastrous winter his district had and all I can think of is Donna. I know Leo thought this would help but it's making me crazy. I sit there and my imagination works over time coming up with different possibilities as to why she left. She would've left me a note or something at least, Sam if she could....this is bigger than us....something or someone made her leave."

Sam caught Kathy's attention as she passed by the open door. "I'll try to find Robbins but I can't promise that I can get him here.....who knows if he's still in D.C."

"Thanks Sam."Josh replied quietly as he looked back toward Grantham's office. "I gotta head back in. I'll call and let you know when I leave."

"Okay."Sam confirmed as he hung up the phone. Unfortunately the cord of the receiver caught the edge of the full can of soda sending cola everywhere.

"I'll get a towel."Kathy offered as she stepped out of the office.

"Thanks Kathy."Sam replied as he franticly picked up his laptop in an attempt to keep it away from the growing lake of soda.

************

"You're setting up a conference call with Norfolk?"Jed Bartlet asked as he stepped into Leo's office. His reading glasses were still on the tip of his nose a pile of folders were under the President's right arm.

"Yeah."McGarry replied as he stood. "It's nothing official."

"Donna?"Bartlet guessed as he sat down in one of the chairs across from Leo's desk.

McGarry nodded as he rubbed the bridge of his nose. "I tracked down her brother. Hopefully he can tell Josh some good news."

Jed took off his glasses. "She didn't tell anyone she was leaving?"

"No."

"That's unlike her."Jed agreed worriedly. "Let me know how the call goes."

"I will."Leo promised as he glanced at the files in his friend's hand. "What do you have there, Mr. President?"

"Aftermath from the African trip."Bartlet replied with a tired smile. "Want half?"

Leo grinned. "With all due respect, Sir I have my hands full without taking on your work load."

**********

Pedestrians scattered as Josh stalked out of the Capitol building and headed toward his car. His last meeting with Congressman Lake had run long so Josh had lost an hour. An hour where he could've been searching for Donna.

By the time Josh reached 1600 Pennsylvania Avenue it was nearly six thirty. The Deputy Chief of Staff could only hope that Sam had been able to track Robbins down.

Leo snagged him as soon as Josh stepped into the West Wing. "We were able to track Tom down but he's not stationed in Norfolk."

Josh felt his hopes plummet as he turned to face his boss. So much for getting any useful information out of Donna's older brother. "Where?"

"He's on the U.S.S. Kitty Hawk off the coast of Japan."Leo replied as they walked toward the Roosevelt room where the call was set up. "The call's set up we're just waiting for you."

"Thanks Leo."Josh replied quietly knowing the strings that Leo had to pull to track Tom down.

McGarry placed a gentle hand on his friend's shoulder. "If we don't find Donna and bring her home we won't have a functioning White House."

***********

Donna sat in her small beachfront apartment and picked at her dinner. Her gaze kept drifting to the phone on the kitchen wall.
Donna knew she should at least call Josh and let him know she was okay. But a voice inside of her was insisting that this be a clean break.
It would be best for both of them in the long run.

Donna sighed and returned her attention to the tv dinner on the plate in front of her. She knew she had to eat something but her appetite was completely gone. She was now keenly remembering her life before Josh. It had not been a happy place and neither was this.

Donna stood and carried the untouched meal to the sink. She tossed the now cold food in the trash and stacked the plate and silverware in the sink to clean them later. Donna knew it would be impossible to forget Josh and the impact he made on her life but she also knew that she had to move on.
No matter how tough that was.

*********

Josh sat down at the end of the small conference table in the Roosevelt room and picked up the phone.
Sam stood just inside the doorway leaning against the doorframe. He had a draft of a speech to polish but he wanted to be close by just in case Josh needed him.

"Lieutenant Moss?"Josh greeted.

"Mr. Lyman."Tom replied from the communications room of the aircraft carrier. "Has something happened to my sister? They told me that's what this call was about but nothing else.....is Donna hurt?"

Josh closed his eyes fighting to keep his emotions in check. "So she hasn't talked to you in the last week or so?"

"I haven't talked to Donna in a month."Tom replied concern clearly in his voice. "Between her schedule and mine it's just impossible to connect even through email. Has something happened?"

"She quit and cleared out her apartment without telling anyone where she was going."Josh replied worriedly as he opened his eyes. "She's done so much to help me the last few months that I just can't see her leaving without at least leaving me a note."

"Donna quit?"Tom repeated in surprise he knew how much his sister treasured her job. "I have to be honest Mr. Lyman I asked her to quit after the shooting but she refused. Donna wouldn't leave now....not like that."

" Call me Josh.....can you think of anywhere she would go?"Josh asked trying to mask the desperation in his voice. "Any college friends she's still in touch with? Or a childhood vacation spot that was special to her?"

"Only college friend that I can think of is an ex-roommate by the name of Rebecca Slate. I know my Mom mentioned that Rebecca and Donna would touch base when she went home to Madison."Tom replied quietly.

Josh reached for a pad of paper and a pen and jotted down the name as Tom continued.

"As for vacations....."Tom trailed off as childhood memories surfaced. Birthday parties, sleepovers, family gatherings at the holidays. He hoped Donna was okay.....Tom just wished he wasn't stuck in the Pacific. "There weren't that many....with my father in the Air Force we moved a lot."

"Thanks for your help."Josh replied as he stood. "I'll let you know when we find her."

"I appreciate that."Tom commented as he glanced at his CO and got a nod....time for his flight. "I have to go.....if Donna needs anything......I'll try to get leave."

"I'll make sure you're her first call when I find her."Josh promised as he motioned Sam over. "Fly safe."

"Thanks."Tom replied quietly. "Take care of her."

"I will."Josh promised as he hung up.

Sam approached Josh. "I tracked down Paul Robbins but he's in New Mexico on a case and won't be back till tomorrow night."

Josh tossed down the pen he was holding and sank back into the chair. "We're batting a thousand today."

Sam sat down next to him. "I gave him some preliminary information and he's going to start working on it tonight. He said he'd fax us if he came up with anything before he returns."

"That's something I guess."Josh replied part of him still expecting Donna to walk through the door and tell him he was late for a meeting.

"We'll find her Josh."Sam promised as he stood.

Josh nodded and looked back at the name on the pad of paper in front of him. "I'm going to call this Rebecca Slate and then head back to Donna's apartment. If her roommate's not back yet maybe I can find something that Donna left behind."

"You know where I am if you need anything."Sam replied quietly as he started toward the door.

"Thanks Sam."

**********

With the White House being the White House it was another hour and a half before Josh was able to leave. Helplessness, worry and fear consumed Josh as he drove the familiar route to Donna's apartment. He'd tried twice but had been unable to make contact with Donna's friend, Rebecca Slate.....he'd left a message on her machine and one with her super.

His mind kept going back to one question.:Why? What could possibly have happened to make her leave? To make her rip herself out of his life without so much of a trace that she had ever been there in the first place.

Josh racked his brain struggling to remember their last conversation. A memory finally surfaced as he pulled his car into the parking lot of Donna's apartment building.

-----------

'Josh!'

Silence.

'Josh!'

'Joshua, I'm not going to have Leo and Toby yelling at me because.....'

'I heard you, Donnatella.'Josh replied as he snagged his assistant's arm and pulled her into his office and shut the door. 'Leo can wait five minutes.'

Donna smiled but he could tell she was trying to remain stern. 'Josh, you know what Toby threatened last time you were late.'

Josh pulled her into an embrace. He would leave in twenty four hours for the African summit....normally he'd be thrilled to be a part of the historic summit but now it felt like he was going to another planet and wouldn't be back for years.

'Are you sure you can't come with us?'Josh asked even though they had this conversation a million times before. 'I could get the President to order it.'

'Josh, you know my mother's coming to visit this week. She's had this planned for months. I can't change it even if I wanted to.'

Josh slapped his hand against the rim of the steering wheel. Donna had lied to him. When he had been able to track down her parents earlier that day they had been in New York City and had been there for two weeks.
So there was no way Donna could've been visiting with her mother last week.

Cold dread formed a knot in Josh's stomach as he exited the car. Donna never lied to him....she didn't have it in her body chemistry. She had a worse poker face than Sam. Josh could always tell when she was trying to hide something from him.

So why couldn't he have seen through her lie the day he left?

Josh shook his head as he took out Donna's spare key and let himself into her apartment. He knew the reason why....he'd been so busy getting ready for the summit that Donna could've told him that Elvis was alive and he would've believed it.
Okay maybe not for long but still.....

The apartment was as cold and dark as it had been the last time Josh had been there. He flipped on the light and sat down on the sofa. Josh needed a moment to get his thoughts and emotions under control before he started to search.
No matter what Donna was hiding from him Josh had to find her. Whatever it was it had to be something they could overcome together.

********

Josh had been searching the apartment for about a half hour before the silence became deafening. Going into the small kitchen Josh hesitated only briefly before flipping on the radio that was resting on top of the refrigerator.
As the music began to play Josh stared at the radio for a moment shaking his head at the irony Stanley would be proud.

Josh opened a drawer next to the refrigerator and began to sift through it. Mostly junk....paper clips, pens, pencils, spare batteries, stationary. It was only then that the lyrics of the song caught his attention:

/Baby I bought wine and roses on my way home
Yeah I know we can't afford it but life doesn't last too long
This world has gone half-crazy
And knocked us both to our knees
I'm fumbling for the words to try to tell ya
I love you for hangin' onto me

When anyone else would've been long gone
Packed it up and headed back home
And not a soul would blame you after what I put you through
Yeah anyone else would've gone insane
Called the game on a count of rain
Anyone else, anyone else
Anyone but you/

Josh froze, one hand still on the drawer contents. Had he not told Donna how grateful he was for everything she had done?
Had he not told her that she had healed him as much as the fourteen hour surgery had?
Josh shook his head and returned his attention to the search.....he had to believe that he had. Just that wouldn't cause her to leave, would it? Donna would've said something.....

/Mayday baby, all the rivets popped loose, it's a total tailspin
Too much grindstone, too little time with you
Girl, you know it's wearing thin
Baby let's trade in these teardrops
For warm kisses on skin
You got a drawer full of IOU's
And it's high time you called those things in

When anyone else would've been long gone
Packed it up and headed back home
And not a soul would blame you after what I put you through
Yeah anyone else would've gone insane
Called the game on a count of rain
Anyone else, anyone else
Anyone but you

You've passed up so many chances
To walk right out that door
Instead of dodging a champagne cork
And watchin' the wet clothes fall to the floor

When anyone else would've been long gone
Packed it up and headed back home
And you can hide behind a Cheshire cat grin but you know it's true
Yeah anyone else would've gone insane
Called the game on a count of rain
Anyone else, anyone else
Anyone but you

Anyone else
Girl, anyone but you/

Somewhere in the back of his mind Josh noted that the song had ended but he wasn't paying any attention to the radio. His entire being was focused on the small item in his right hand.

It was a torn piece of a doctor's appointment card....the type that they handed you as you walked out the door to remind you of the next appointment.

Of course the half that Josh had found yield no clues. It only showed Donna's last name, time of appointment, date of appointment and the doctor's first name.

Josh felt fear race up his spine as he noted that the date of the appointment was two days before he had left for the African summit.

Josh closed the drawer and turned around and leaned back against it forcing himself not to panic. This could mean nothing it could just be a routine checkup that she had failed to mention to him.

Swallowing hard Josh pocketed the torn card and left the kitchen. Maybe Robbins could get some information from it that he wasn't seeing.

Donna was fine....he had to believe that.

**************

When Sam arrived at work for the five thirty staff meeting he wasn't surprised to see Josh asleep at his desk. Sam frowned worriedly as he stepped into the doorway of his friend's office....he had thought Josh had went home.
Sam stepped into the office and walked around Josh's desk placing a gentle hand on Josh's left shoulder. "Josh?"

Josh jerked awake his head nearly hitting Sam's right arm. "What?"He asked sleepily.

Sam moved so he was in front of the desk. "I thought you went home."

At Sam's statement the memories of the last twenty four hours assaulted Josh full force. Josh squinted and tried to focus on his computer clock...five twenty a.m.

"Is there news on Donna?"Josh asked hoarsely his sleep induced mind not coming up with any other reasons why Sam would be here this early.

Sam shook his head. "No, not yet. We have a five thirty staff meeting."

Josh blinked in surprise as he began to hunt around on his desk for the schedule. "We do?"

Sam nodded. "I'll tell Leo you'll be a few minutes late."

"Thanks."

Sam retraced his steps toward the door when Josh's voice halted him.

"Sam?"

"Yeah?"

"If you see the beach bum before I do lock him up."Josh replied as he stood and walked around his desk to look out into the bullpen.

"Beach bum?"

"The guy from the temp agency."Josh explained as he hunted around for his sports jacket which he knew he had tossed somewhere last night. "Never mind I'll just fire him."

"Okay."Sam replied as he left.

At nine a.m. Donna walked into the small law office trying to force down the feeling of paranoia. Relax,she told herself sharply, there's no way anyone could know that you used to work at the White House.
Unless they watched C-span.
Donna glanced around the group of five people working and shook her head slightly. Nope, C-span was not high on this group's must see tv list.

A thin woman with short brown hair and green eyes stepped around one of the desks extending her right hand toward Donna. "You must be Donna Moss. My name is Andrea Norton I'm the senior partner here."

Donna shook her hand. The smile she put forth felt false...it'd been so long since she'd smiled. "Nice to meet you, Ms. Norton....I know I wasn't due to start until tomorrow...."

Andrea smiled as she stepped aside and gestured for Donna to follow her into the main part of the office."That's fine, Donna we can at least get the paper work out of the way today. My office is just down this hallway."

********

"Did she have a history of abusive relationships?"

The word abusive brought Josh back to the matter at hand. Between lack of sleep and his imagination working overtime Josh felt like he was walking around in a fog.

"What?"Josh asked as he looked at the two people gathered in his office for a noon meeting.

Sam glanced at Josh with concern as Paul Robbins repeated his question.

"Does Donna have a history of abusive relationships?"

Josh sank down onto the corner of his desk. "No."

Paul raised an eyebrow."Are you sure? Most cases where a woman leaves like this it's....."

Josh glared at the younger black haired man. "No. Donna is a much stronger person than that. Before we got together she dated a few losers, sure....but if it was something like that, someone from her past coming back, she would've told me."

"Okay."Robbins replied as he pushed his wire rim glasses back up his nose."I'm just trying different possibilities since we have no idea where to look. Her family hasn't heard from her. She cleaned out her checking and savings accounts and there's been no traffic on her credit cards."

Sam leaned forward an idea nagging at the back of his mind."Josh, there's one part of Donna's past that we haven't considered."

Josh met his gaze. "What?"

Sam shifted uncomfortably in the chair. "The reason she came to New Hampshire."

Josh jumped to his feet and started to pace the tiny area between his desk and the two chairs."You're wrong, Samuel."

Paul glanced from Josh to Sam and back again sensing a lead."Why did she come to New Hampshire, Josh?"

Josh ignored the question and looked back at Sam."Donna's not the same person she was then. There's no way she'd give Dr. Free Ride the time of day."

"Still it's a lead to check out."Robbins's replied."Do you know Dr. Free Ride's real name?"

"Calvin Matson."Josh stated as he fought the wave of doubt. "But you're wasting your time."

"He has to check everything out Josh."Sam replied quietly. "It's the only way we'll find her."

Josh glared at his friend."We'll find her. It just won't be through him!"

Before Sam or Robbins could reply Josh snatched his coat off the coat rack and slammed out of the office.

Sam pinched the bridge of his nose and closed his eyes briefly before looking over at Robbins. "Sorry, Paul, this is...."

Paul held up his hand as he stood. "Don't worry about it, Sam. If my girlfriend was missing I wouldn't want people suggesting she was with an ex either. I'll track down Dr. Free Ride just in case and get back to you."He picked up his coat and lap top."Any other ideas where Donna might be?"

Sam frowned in thought. "It's a long shot but you might want to check warm climates. She was always after Josh to take her to Hawaii."

Robbins nodded. "Since there hasn't been any activity on her credit I think Hawaii's out of the question. But I'll check into California, Florida, and Texas."

"Thanks Paul."Sam replied as he stood and walked the P.I to the door.

"I'll call you as soon as I find anything."Robbins promised as he stepped out of Josh's office.

**********

Donna returned to her apartment around four feeling drained. She let herself in and sank down onto the sofa flipping on the tv. Donna had thought that being around people would rejuvenate her....reinforce her belief that she was doing the right thing.
But as the day progressed Donna had felt nothing but miserable. Every time one of the male attorneys passed her desk Donna thought of Josh.

Donna sighed and curled up into the corner of the couch as she drew her knees to her chest. She missed Josh more than she ever thought possible. Donna stretched out on the sofa and leaned her head against the pillow and felt the tears start to flow.
It had barely been a week since she had left the Nation's Capital. If she was this unhappy now how would she be in six months? In a year?

Donna wiped away her tears and slowly sat up. This was for everyone's best interest, she reminded herself sternly, especially Josh's.

**********

At six o'clock Josh sat at The MadHatter staring alternately between the half empty glass of scotch in front of him and the cell phone lying next to it.
He had turned the phone off hours ago after he had stalked out of the White House. Turning it off hadn't been an easy decision for Josh....part of him had wanted to leave it on in case there was news on Donna. But the other part, the one not wanting to hear Leo's lecture had won out.

Now more than anything he wanted to turn the phone back on. More than anything Josh wanted to hear Donna's voice telling him that she was okay. Donna's voice telling him that Sam was crazy to think that she would drop everything to be with 'Dr. Free Ride.'

Absently Josh noted that the crowd behind him parted slightly to allow a woman to sit down next to him. For half a second Josh hoped it was Donna. That this had all been a bad nightmare and Donna had come to drag him out of a bar and safely home just like always.

"White wine, please."A familiar voice told the bartender and Josh winced.

"Go home, Claudia Jean."Josh stated softly as he picked up his glass of scotch and took a sip.

CJ shook her head. "Not on your life, Joshua."

"I'm in no mood for a lecture."Josh snapped as he set the glass down a little too forcefully causing some of the brown liquid to sloush.

"You're going to get one."CJ replied as she turned in her seat to face her friend. "Josh, how could you not tell me what was going on?"

"Aren't you always quoting deniability, CJ?"Josh asked bitterly. "If you didn't know about me and Donna then there was nothing for you to deny."

"Stuff the party line, Josh."CJ replied quietly just as the bartender arrived with her wine. "Besides I've known about you and Donna since the campaign. You were the blind one."

"CJ...."

CJ reached forward and placed a hand on Josh's arm. "I wasn't talking about not coming to me as a Press Secretary I was talking about you not coming to me as a friend. I thought you knew that you could come to me with anything, Josh."

Josh sighed and rubbed his hands over his eyes. "It wasn't you, CJ. Since you told me she quit I've been reacting and not thinking. "

CJ reached for her glass and took a sip of wine. "I'm sorry Josh. I should've talked with you before I just thought that you had tracked Donna down by now and that you were working things out."

"I have no idea where she is, Claudia Jean."Josh whispered sadly as he picked up his glass.

CJ blinked in surprise and sat the glass down. This she hadn't heard....she knew there was a temp working as Josh's assistant but she had assumed that Donna was taking some much needed time off. CJ shook her head sadly by now she should know not to assume anything.

"Did you check..."

"Her apartment?"Josh finished as he took a swig. "Empty except for her roommates stuff."

CJ reached over and gently took Josh's shoulder turning the stool and him to face her."No note?"

Josh shook his head. "Not even a 'Dear Josh' letter.....I'm scared CJ, she wouldn't just disappear...not after everything...."

CJ nodded and stood. She reached into her purse and placed a few bills on the bar before turning back to Josh."Come on."

Josh shook his head. "I'm not going back to work, not without Donnatella."

CJ grabbed his arm and gently helped him down off the stool. "I'm taking you home and we'll call Sam."

Josh wobbled slightly on unsteady feet as CJ led him toward the door."Why?"

CJ placed an arm around his shoulders as she opened the door. "So we can figure out where Donna is."

Josh shook his head as the stepped outside. "Hired a P.I."

CJ glanced at him as she raised her hand to hail a cab. "You did? They find anything? Never mind we'll talk about this at your place."

*********

Sam arrived at Josh's townhouse around eight....traffic had been a nightmare.

"Sorry."Sam apologized as CJ opened the door. "Traffic was hell."

"No problem."CJ replied as Sam stepped around her and into the apartment. "Josh was just filling me in on the PI you guys hired."

Sam winced. "CJ, we were going to tell...."

CJ placed a hand on his shoulder. "Forget it. Let's just pool our information and figure out where Donna is."

"Where'd you find him?"Sam asked in a lowered voice as they paused in the hallway.

"The MadHatter."CJ replied worriedly. "I don't think he'd been there long enough to get very drunk."

"With Josh it doesn't take very long."Sam pointed out as he shrugged out of his coat.

"He's sober enough."CJ replied in a hushed tone glancing toward the living room where Josh was sitting on the sofa. "I've been pumping him with coffee since we got here. We've got to find her, Sam, the not knowing is...."

"I know."Sam stated sadly."I just have a bad feeling about this, CJ. Donna would've contacted him by now. If nothing else to tell him she was okay."

"Something scared her off."CJ agreed quietly. "We just have to figure out what it was."

"Are you two through whispering about me?"Josh asked from the living room doorway a tired grin on his face. But CJ could see that the smile didn't quite reach his eyes. "I just got off the phone with Paul....he thinks he might have a lead."

"On Dr. Free Ride?"Sam asked then mentally kicked himself for bringing up the subject.

Josh glared at him slightly ignoring CJ's blank look. "No, on Donna. That warm climate tip you gave him might have panned out. He's on his way."

***********

Around eight o'clock Donna pulled herself off of the sofa. She headed toward the kitchen and grabbed the phone book. Donna picked up the phone and ordered some Chinese take out for dinner.

Donna returned to the sofa and flipped on an old movie. She wasn't hungry but knew she had to eat something and get a good night's sleep. Tomorrow was her first full day at her new job.
Her first full day of her new life.
Her life without Josh Lyman.

*********

Paul Robbins wiped rain from his glasses as he stepped into Josh Lyman's apartment. A typical early spring downpour had started as soon as he had left his office and showed no sign of letting up.

"Where is she?"Josh demanded as soon as Robbins stepped into the living room.

Paul glanced at the others gathered before pulling a computer printout out of his briefcase."Florida."he replied quietly as he handed the paper to Josh.

"Are you sure?"Josh asked as he read the address. After everything he didn't want his hopes to be pinned on a false lead.

Paul nodded as he set his briefcase on the floor. "Yes. I got lucky on one of the apartment searches....she didn't use a false name on the lease."

"At least we know she's okay."CJ said with relief as she sat down on the sofa.

"Thank you."Josh said to Robbins before crossing over to the phone on the desk.

Sam watched his friend closely. "Who are you calling?"

"Airlines."Josh replied without looking up. "I have to see her, Sam."

"Josh."Sam stated carefully."She may not want to be seen."

Josh met his gaze. "I'll deal with that when I get there."

CJ and Sam exchanged a concerned look as she stepped past Robbins to come to Sam's side.

"Josh, I don't think going down there now is a good idea."CJ warned.

"She's been gone a week, Claudia Jean, I have to know why. I have to know what I did so I can fix it."Josh replied struggling to keep his voice from wavering.

Sam reached over and placed a gentle hand on his friend's shoulder. "Josh, matters of the heart aren't dealt with best by jumping in head first."

"No offense, Sam, but you're not one to give relationship advice."Josh retorted as he returned his attention to the phone.

"At least give it till morning, Josh."CJ advised quietly.

Josh shook his head as the airline finally let him off of hold. "Sorry CJ, I have to see her, now that I know where she is."

'TransGlobal Airlines how can I help you?"

Josh jerked his attention back to the phone. "I need you next flight to Clearwater, Florida."

"From?"

"Washington, D.C."Josh replied automatically almost wishing he could borrow Air Force One.

"The next flight we have leaves at 11:38. Will this be one way or round trip?"

"Better make it round trip with an open leave date. I'm not sure what day I'll be coming back on."Josh replied hoping against hope that he wouldn't be coming home alone.

********

Clearwater, Florida

Josh stared blearily out the cab window as the city flew by. Due to the thunderstorm his 11:30 flight had been delayed out of D.C. for nearly an hour. So here he was at three a.m. going to Donna's apartment.

Several times Josh almost told the driver to drop him at the nearest hotel. But after all the hours of not knowing Josh had to find out what was going on with Donna.

On a basic level Josh could feel that she needed him desperately and he needed her.
The cab pulled to a stop in front of the beachside apartment building and Josh got out. He paid the driver and paused on the sidewalk pulling out the sheet of paper Robbins had given him.
Josh double-checked the apartment number and headed up to the second floor.

It was three knocks before a bleary eyed Donna opened the door. Even rumpled and sleepy she took Josh's breath away. He hadn't realized how much he had missed her until he saw her again.

"Donnatella."Josh whispered tenderly as he reached out to touch her.

Donna backed away quickly barely keeping control of the tears that were threatening to overwhelm her."Josh, please leave."

"I can't."Josh replied quietly his brown eyes wide. "I know it's late but I hopped the first flight I could as soon as I found out where you where. Can we talk? Please?"

Donna hesitated her right hand still clamped to the door. She didn't know how he found her, but Donna knew that if she let him inside her resolve would crumble. "I can't...."

Josh blinked in surprise. "I've been going crazy since I came back and discovered you had left without a word. Please, Donna....after everything....you owe me....no you owe us a chance."

Donna stepped back allowing Josh entrance to the apartment. Josh was right.....after all they had been through in the past three years he deserved an explanation.

Josh broke the silence as they reached the living room. "Why didn't you talk to me?"

Donna turned slowly back to face Josh before sitting down in a chair to the right of the sofa. This was not at all how she had pictured this conversation....if it had happened at all.

"How did you find me?"Donna asked in a shaky voice not quite being able to meet Josh's gaze.

"Sam."Josh replied softly as he sat down on the sofa taking off his coat. "I hired a PI and Sam gave him a tip about you liking warm climates. We lucked out with you not using a false name on the lease for this apartment."

Donna shook her head slightly. "Guess I should've paid more attention to those bad spy movies."

"Donna...."Josh pleaded as he scooted closer to her. "Please tell me what's wrong....did I do something....to make you leave?"

The sadness in his voice made Donna reach out and instinctively grab his hand in hers. "No, Josh, no....you didn't do anything."

Josh reached out with his free hand to touch her face needing to be close to her. "Then what....what was so bad that you had to run? What was so bad that you couldn't wait for me to come home and we could talk?"

Donna swallowed hard and pulled away from him settling back into the chair. Now that the moment was here she didn't know how to say it....wasn't sure how Josh would react.

"Donna."Josh prompted anxiously she was really starting to scare him.

"I left for you, Joshua."Donna replied as she stood and walked over to the window.

Josh blinked in surprise that had been the last thing he had expected her to say. "What?"

Donna folded her arms across her chest her gaze never leaving the ocean below. "If the Press found out...."
She had said the last part so softly that Josh barely heard her. He stood and crossed over to stand behind her. "Found out what, Donnatella?"

Donna closed her eyes tightly and yet a few hot tears still escaped. "I'm pregnant, Josh."she whispered.

Stunned Josh rocked back on his heels. When he had found the torn doctor's appointment card Josh had feared the worst....feared that some disease might take Donna from him. He had never contemplated the idea that this might be a happy thing.

Recovering his voice Josh grasped Donna gently by the shoulder and turned her to face him. Her eyes were still closed.

"Donna."Josh began in a choked voice. "Donna, look at me."

Slowly Donna opened her eyes and met his gaze tears streaming down her face.

"Did you honestly think I wouldn't be happy about this?"Josh asked as he cupped her face with his hands drawing her closer.

Donna swallowed hard. "I'm your assistant, Josh....this could....is a scandal."

Josh shook his head fiercely. "I don't care what people think, Donnatella. All I care about is you....and I need to know....do you still love me?"

Donna nodded. "Yes."she whispered. "I just didn't want to.....everybody's been through so much this year....if the Press got this....if Ann Stark got this...."

"This....is our baby, Donnatella....our family."Josh replied tenderly his voice catching. "We'll find a way to make this work."

"How, Joshua?"Donna asked tearfully. "There's two years till reelection....I don't want to be the reason..."

Josh gently led her back to the sofa and they sat down. Josh pulled her into his arms and leaned back against the armrest. "I don't have the answers right now, Donnatella, but I promise you we will find a way to make this work."

********

Josh woke when sunlight filtered through the glass doors and splashed across his face. For a brief moment Josh was disoriented then the memories of the night before slowly came back. He looked down and saw Donna curled up against him his arms wrapped around her waist. Josh smiled and pulled her close careful not to wake her.

Truly amazing what the difference a year could make. Last year he was working a job he loved, but lonely in all other aspects. He still missed his father, seeing Mandy again had rekindled bad memories.

Josh started for a moment....something somewhere had interrupted his thoughts. Then he found the source and relaxed back against the sofa. Donna's alarm clock had clicked on and was playing the local radio station.
The music drifted out into the living room but it didn't bother Josh. He closed his eyes with Donna in his arms the music wasn't affecting him. Not that it really had the last few months Stanley had done a good job with his fractured psyche.

/It was no accident... me finding you.

Someone had a hand in it... long before we ever new.

Now I just can't believe... your in my life.

Heaven's smiling down on me... as I look at you tonight./

Josh's eyes snapped open as the lyrics of the song penetrated his thoughts. He strained to hear the rest of the song. He couldn't have heard right....the words seemed to fit him and Donna perfectly.

/I tip my hat... to the keeper of the stars.

He sure knew what he was do...in... when he joined these two
hearts.

I hold every... thing... when I hold you in my arms.

And I've got all I'll ever need... thanks to the keeper of the
stars.

Soft moonlight on your face... oh how you shine.

It takes my breath away... just to look into your eyes.

I know that I don't deserve... a treasure like you.

There really are no words... to show my gratitude.

It was no accident... me finding you.

Someone had a hand in it... long before we ever knew./

Donna stirred in Josh's arms and looked up at him a bright smile on her face. "Good morning."

"Yes it is."Josh replied tenderly as he caressed her face. "Did I wake you?"

Donna shook her head. "No I heard the alarm...."she trailed off as she remembered Christmas. "I'm sorry, Josh did the music..."

"No, I'm fine."Josh assured her.

Donna held his gaze for a moment then looked away. "What time is it?"she asked sleepily.

Josh squinted at his watch. "Nearly eight."

"It's your watch which sucks so that means I'm late for work." Donna replied as she sat up.

Josh sat up and placed an arm around her shoulders. "After last night I thought...."

"That I was coming back?"Donna replied quietly feeling the tears starting to form once again. "I thought about it before I fell asleep Josh and I just can't. I've built a life here....."

Josh took her hand in his as he met her gaze. "In a week? Donna, we can work this out....I'll talk to Leo."

Donna stood and turned to face him. "Do you have any idea how hard it was for me to leave? Especially after the doctor told me.....but I knew that if the Press got a hold of it...."

Josh stood and pulled her into his arms no matter what happened he wasn't going to lose her again."Nothing is more important than our family, Donnatella. Come home with me, please?"

Donna melted against him all the tension and worry of the last few weeks draining out of her."I love you, Joshua."

Josh pulled away slightly so he could see her face. "Is that a yes that you'll come home? You know I'm useless without you."

Donna smiled teas flowing freely down her face. "Yes, Joshua,I'll come home."

"I love you."Josh whispered as his lips captured hers.

end