Impossible Words

One-shot

Elricest

He’d been afraid. Ever since day one, after he started recovering. Since before he’d even gotten his automail, and since before he decided to go after the Philosopher’s stone. He had always been afraid.

He was Edward Elric, the Full Metal Alchemist. He could deal with almost anything, whether it was by pure luck, or an overkill effort. But there was one thing Ed couldn’t deal with.
He couldn’t deal with the thought that his brother, Alphonse Elric, might hate him.

It shouldn’t have been something he considered. He shouldn’t have been afraid. Al was his brother after all.

But sometimes, no oftentimes, Ed would stay up thinking. What must it feel like for Al to be trapped in a suit of armour, a bodiless soul? What must it be like not to feel human skin, or taste food, or be able to smell?

What followed those thoughts was even worse. Did Al blame him for it all? It had been his crazy idea after all. Al had protested along the way, but he never once abandoned Ed to do it himself. Al had trusted Ed, and Ed had let him down big time.

Did Al hate him for it? It was Ed’s fault that he was simply a soul. It was Ed’s fault that people gave him odd stares on the streets; you can hide automail but you can’t hide a suit of armour. It was Ed’s fault that Al wasn’t really ‘human’ anymore, and Ed knew it. It ate at him every time someone asked why Al was in a suit of armour.

And the worst part was Al put up with it all with such good-natured kindness. But Ed couldn’t help but worry anyways.

Al was all he had left. Ed wouldn’t be able to bare it if Al hated him too.

So he was afraid to ask, afraid of the response he might get. Do you hate me? Four simple words, and he, Edward Elric, the Full Metal Alchemist and dog of the military, couldn’t even get up the nerve to say them.