The knock at her door broke her sleep and Seras found herself sitting up, blearily. What kind of person comes knocking on your door at 3 in the afternoon? For a minute she was tempted to just lie down and go back to sleep but then the knocking came again and she stumbled to her feet and towards the door, automatically.

As soon as she got the door open, she froze. The person she least expected to see in the world stood in the doorway looking at her almost desperately. For a second she was horribly aware of how awful she must look, half asleep and in an oversized novelty t-shirt, but before she could think further or act she was being held, crushes tightly.

"Integra," she mumbled, almost in awe. Then she reached up slowly and returned the embrace, trying to control herself. If she let herself go and hugged as hard as she'd like to she'd break bones and that wasn't the way she wanted this to go.

But…what? What was this? Why was this happening? She'd been thrown out. She'd committed an unspeakable act and been so scared, too scared to even go back herself to try to make things right. Not that she hadn't been thinking of it, even earlier today. She didn't really know how to live alone any more. But, still.

She wanted to ask the other woman why she was here. She needed answers, really. How could she be expected to function without them?

But, questions would only spoil it. Wasn't it better to enjoy the moment, to let things be as they were for a minute? After all, in a moment, Integra might come to her senses and walk straight back out the door.

Slowly the arms around her began to loosen and Seras pulled back a little so she could actually look the other woman in the eyes. She didn't get much of a chance though as Integra pressed forward quickly and kissed her, almost desperately, and there was no chance of thinking while that was going on.

Eventually, the kiss ended and Integra pulled back, finally letting Seras get a look at her. She didn't look too good at all. She looked exhausted, really. Seras reached over and ran a hand down the side of her face without thinking. Integra moved to say something but she interrupted.

"You should get some sleep, we can talk in the evening…"

For a moment, once she realised she's just interrupted, Seras wanted to flinch away, but it passed when Integra smiled at her and held her again, whispering "thank you" into her ear.

Seras took a minute to lock the door while Integra stripped to her underwear and slid under the covers, then Seras followed. It was much harder for them both to fit in her tiny single bed, but Integra didn't seem to mind her snuggling close and she was more then willing to take advantage of that, if need be.

She barely even had time to enjoy it before she fell asleep.

Integra had never been one to sleep deeply or for long so she wasn't surprised to find Seras still asleep next to her when she woke. It was nice. It had been far too long since she'd woken up next to someone else, she'd missed it. Missed the feeling of connection.

She quite quickly saw the downside of the arrangement though. She'd have liked to have a little time to think, now she'd actually had a chance to sleep, before being engaged in conversation, but was a little wedged in, and couldn't think here. Not to mention, she needed to get out of the bed for…other reasons.

It took a feat a acrobatics for her to get out of the bed, first pushing herself up on her knees, then straddling Seras for a moment (where she wasn't afraid to admit she stayed for a second, looking down at the other woman's body below her) before kind of rolling of and onto the floor. Somehow, Seras slept through that, or at least gave the impression of it, and Integra stumbled to the bathroom.

She finished up quickly and found herself stood looking in the mirror. Why was she here? Was this a mistake? Should she just run like a coward before Seras was awake enough to confront her about it? She knew even as she had these thought they weren't ever going to happen. The reasons she'd come here were genuine, she wasn't going to be able to go on like this, something needed to be done.

Or, more accurately, she could force herself to go on like this but she didn't want to. Her reasons were worthless, or easily altered. Or so she wanted to believe.

Drawing a deep breath she went back out of the bathroom. Seras had rolled onto her back but still seemed fast asleep. That was fine for now. She scooped up the shirt she'd thrown on before leaving the house yesterday and put it back on, fastening just a few buttons to cover herself, before hunting for some tea bags. She found the tea but no milk and soon found herself sat at the table, black tea in hand, watching Seras sleep and wondering how long this would go on.

Not long, in reality. Before she even hit the bottom of the cup Seras began to move. First rolling over, throwing an arm out, then a pause where she went tense, then suddenly she sat up and looked around. As soon as she saw Integra sat at the table she let herself relax again, smiling.

It didn't take long for Seras to run through her morning routine, chatting as she did about inconsequential things. Neither of them were willing to deal with the big issue yet, being themselves. Instead they talked about the new recruits and Walter and the best way to eat pancakes and if you should put the milk in before or after the hot water when making tea. Integra took the chance to root through her clothes and find her cigarettes and light one. It was undoubtedly the best way to start the morning.

All too soon, though, they were sat across the table facing each other. Integra found herself wrapping her hand around the cup in front of her, as if it was a shield.

"I guess we should talk," Seras said, almost looking sad, and tilting her head to the side.

Integra nodded, but then she stood up. She knew what she had to do. She knew what she'd come here to do. If this was worth having another go at, it was worth giving her all. She walked to here her jacket had dropped the night before and rescued the letter from the pocket, then walked over and held it out to Seras.

"I wrote it in prison," she said by way of explanation, as Seras took it from her, "the time when you couldn't find me."

Seras nodded, then opened the letter. Integra had the immediate urge to run. Within that letter, she was laid bare. Stripped and splayed out in all her nasty selfish needy glory for Seras to read. The things about that time she'd never meant to admit, that she hadn't been supposed to feel. She didn't run, but she couldn't watch either. Instead she found herself turning and looking out of the window, finishing her cigarette for something to concentrate on. Seras had opened the curtains when she'd fallen out of bed. There was nothing interested to see but it was better then watching Seras' face as she read the letter.

She was just about to give up hope when, suddenly, there were arms around her waist, and a face pressed into her shoulder. She hadn't realised how tense she'd been until she felt Seras against her back, a reassuring weight.

"I love you too," Seras mumbled into her shoulder.

For a moment they let it hang, content with the world and the truth out in the open. They loved each other. Whatever else was between them, there was love too. They both appreciated that it came at no small cost to Integra to share that love, and that made it all the more precious.

But, as all moment, that one had to end. Seras pulled back, taking a step away.

"I know," Integra said finally, "is it going to be enough though? I mean, it doesn't change anything, does it? You're still a vampire. You still nearly killed me."

"I know," Seras whispered, her hands balling into fists and a tear running down her cheek. "I'm sorry, I was wrong. But we can change things. There's no reason we can't. I want to. I want to try to fight this…I mean, maybe we should sit down?"

Integra nodded and turned, returning to her chair. She was a little shocked to see Seras' eyes were red and there was new tear marks on the paper, but it made her feel a little gratified too.

"I, I want to try to live like a normal human," Seras said, her voice low. "You were right about everything. I was letting it take me over, and that's not what I want. That's not who I am. So I'm going to fight it. Fight, being a vampire. I'm not sure if I can but, I want t try."

"I understand," she sighed, leaning back in the chair. It was quiet. What did she say other then she understood. If Seras wanted to be normal, maybe it would be better for her to walk out of the door right now and for them to never have anything to do with each other again.

"I can't do that without you," Seras said. Integra looked up sharply, and her gaze was met immediately by Seras, tears still running down her face but her expression serious. "I want to do this for me, but I also want to do this for you so, please…"

"Where does this leave us?" Integra asked, leaning forward and sighing.

"I don't know…" she mumbled, "Even if I say I want to be normal, I think it might be impossible for someone like me. But I can't fight any more. You understand that, right?"

"I understand," she said simply. Then she stood and walked round the table to stand in front on Seras. "Come back with me. You don't have to fight, there are other things to do. We'll be more careful this time. I need you, it's worth one more try."

It's over.

I just want to take a minute at the end to thank everyone who's been reading this. It's been two years today but it's finally done. It's especially like to thank Kya. Without her I'd probably have dropped this entire thing long ago. But, to everyone who's read, and especialy those who have commented, thank you.