Strong Enough

Summary: This starts towards the end of the episode of the Fugue in Season 1. What would have happened if Felicity never slept with Eli?

Author’s Note: I have used some of the original dialogue from the episode “The Fugue”

I have added my own creative twist to help develop this story line. The words in italics represent the characters thoughts. The way Noel got off for his behavior in these series of episodes always bugged me. I haven’t made any decisions about possible parings. You’ll just have to wait and see…..

Chapter 1: Wait for Me

“Wait for me to make up my mind,” said Noel.

Felicity could hardly believe what she was hearing. This is not happening to me?

“You’ve already made up your mind. If I wouldn’t have walked in here and found you, you’d be gone already.”

Noel closed his eyes and whispered, “Felicity”

This was a nightmare. This was her nightmare. How could he do this? She couldn’t bear to look at him.

“Could you just leave my room already?”

She stood there staring at him. She just wanted him to go already. He obviously didn’t want to be there with her. He wanted Hannah; that was patently obvious. He looked down at the floor and up at her once more and whispered an apology before leaving her room. Felicity slowly walked towards the door and watched him walk of with his ex-girlfriend.

A little over an hour later, Felicity was standing at the back of Epstein’s bar watching Julie play. The song was sweet and so full of sorrow. In a way it mirrored how she felt. She stood back and let the sound of Julie’s voice wash over her. She watched as Ben made his way through the bar. A look of pure joy and pride came over her face. In that moment, her loneliness rang through her like an obnoxious church bell. Watching them filled her with envy because it was a stark reminder of what she thought she’d found with Noel. She should have known better. Why did she ever get involved with him? The whole boggle incident was like a giant precursor to this sad day. She’d convinced herself that what they had was real. But, she wasn’t so sure anymore. She quietly left the bar and made her way back to the dorm. For the first time since she’d arrived in NY, Felicity felt completely alone. She sat in her room and tried to focus on other things. She got out her tape recorder and tried to make a tape to Sally. But, she couldn’t think of what to say. The sound of someone knocking at the door stirred her from her thoughts.

She opened the door and found Eli standing there.

“Eli?”

“Hi”

“Hey”

“I thought I’d show you some sketches I made, but if now is a bad time…”

Felicity tried to concentrate on what he was saying, but she was still so taken aback by his presence here.

“I feel like I interrupted you,” he said.

“No, I’d love to see the sketches; let me just get my coat.”

The two of them headed over to the Arts studio together. They didn’t say much on the way over there. Eli had tried to think of things to say, but he could tell something was bothering her. They walked into the large room and he walked over to the drawers and took out the sketches.

“I’ve only seen you a few times. So these are mostly from memory.”

“Wait, these sketches are of me?”

“Yeah, I usually have a photo as a reference or something.”

He laid them out on a nearby table and showed them to her. She looked down and was taken aback by this beautiful likeness of her. She never really thought of herself as beautiful, but these pictures made her look that way.

“Wow, this is weird; they’re really good. I’m just not used to being drawn”

“Pose for me?”

“Like now? Tonight?”

“Yeah, it’s quiet and there’s no time like the present.”

“I don’t know”

“Come on; it’s just us.”

She bit her lip as she mulled over the thought of posing for him. She didn’t have anything else to do tonight. She didn’t want to think about Noel and Hannah and this might be the only way to get her mind off of it for the time being.

“Sure”

Eli stood back and watched her as she sat on the coach babbling about some old woman she had drawn once. Her whole face lit up as she spoke. There was something earthy and truly feminine about Felicity that just drew him in. She had the most beautiful face and the wildest untamed hair. A calm came over her as she slowly began to relax. She could feel his intense gaze. It was almost like he was trying to see right through her. It was pretty wild. This feels good, but in a bad way

He made his way over to her and adjusted her pose. She looked up at him and wondered what it would be like to kiss him. God, what’s wrong with me? Just because Noel ran off with Hannah doesn’t give me the right to be lusting after Eli?

Eli bent down and brushed her lips with his own. She tasted soft and sweet; exactly as he’d imagined. She moved her hands behind his neck and lost herself in the kiss. This is so nice. I haven’t felt like this in ages. He makes my stomach flip. Noel never made my stomach flip. The only other person that had ever made her feel this giddy was Ben. No matter what she did, he was always there in the back of her mind. You’re evil. He’s your best friend’s boyfriend.

She watched him as he removed his shirt and that was went it hit her. This is so wrong? This is not how its supposed to be?

She heard his gentle words.

“Do you want to stop?”

“No, um, yes. Yes, I want to stop

Eli sat back on the cushions next to her and ran a his hand through his dark hair.

“Look, Eli, I’m sorry. I shouldn’t be here like this with you. I have a boyfriend or at least I did? I just, I can’t do this. It’s not you. I’m just really awkward and messed up right now.”

“Hey, you don’t have to explain. It’s cool” It’s far from cool. It sucks.

“Well, I guess I should go”

“Do you want me to walk you back?”

“No, it’s okay”

Felicity grabbed her coat and left the Art studio and headed back to her dorm. When she got there she found Noel sitting on the floor outside her room.

“What are you doing here?”

“Where were you?”

“You do not get to ask me that?”

“Come on Felicity we need to talk?”

“What, Hannah was too busy”

“Ouch, I deserved that.”

“Haven’t you done enough damage for one night? I get it. YOU WANT HANNAH. Now just leave me alone,” retorted Felicity as she shut the door behind her. She locked her door and sank to the floor.