Chapter 10- Anxiety: Sorry for the delay and the shortness of this chapter :D

Felicity could feel the beating of a heart as she slowly drifted from her deep sleep. It was slow and steady. Her eyes fluttered opened and she looked up to see Ben looking down at her softly. “Morning,” he said.

“Morning. How long have you been awake?” she asked.

He smiled and said, “For awhile.”

Felicity sat up quickly and said, “What time is it?”

“Um around noon, “he replied.

She leapt out of bed and started searching frankly for her jeans. “Where are my pants?” she asked.

Ben got out of bed and stood beside her gripping her shoulder. “You need to relax,”he said.

“Relax? Relax. I think I missed my midterm,” she said.

How could I let this happen? I am so dead.

Ben looked through a pile of clothes on the floor beside the bed and handed the jeans to her. “Here you go. Its gonna be fine. Maybe you haven’t missed it yet. Let me call you a cab.”

“How can you be so calm,” she asked as she quickly pulled on the rest of the clothes. Felicity new that she shouldn’t have stayed over. Nothing had ended up happening between them but being with him was so nice. She had totally lost track of the time. Ben just stood their looking at her with a lopsided grin. “Stop that,”she demanded.

“Stop what?” He asked.

“Looking at me like that,” she replied.

“You don’t want me looking at you?” he asked as her ran his hand down her arm.

“Ughh, no. What, what are you doing?” she asked.

“Me? I’m doing nothing,” he said as he wrapped his arm around her waist and pulled her towards him.

I can’t breathe. What is he doing to me?

Ben bent his head and kissed her softly on the lips. She sucked in a breath and softly parted her lips giving him the invitation that he was longing for. This kiss was softer less frantic than those that they had shared the night before, but its intensity seemed to unnerve her. She clung to him desperately as he deepened the kiss. Ben pushed her up against the doorframe. His hands left her waist and roamed up her back and through her long curly hair. He was lost in her. He didn’t know when this strange attraction for her had first begun, but he knew that without a doubt that he wanted her. He was used to girls that exuded obvious sexuality, but Felicity’s hidden sensuality excited him beyond imagination. Felicity broke the kiss and said, “I should go.”

“When can I see you again?”

“I’ll call you when I figure out what’s happening with the exam.”

She kissed him lightly on the cheek and left the loft. Once she was in the elevator she leaned against the wall and sighed.

Is this really happening to me?

The cab dropped her off in front of her dorm room. She ran up to her grabbed her books and practically sprinted to the exam hall. Once she got there she noticed that students were still lined up outside of the room. “Has the exam started yet?” she asked one of the students.

“No, it’s going to start in a half hour,” a young man replied.

Relieved that she still had a few minutes to gather her thoughts and review the material, she opened up her bags. Organic Chemistry was her least favourite course, but something she needed if she was going to get into med school.

Why do am I even premed? Is it cause Dad told me too?

Felicity blocked the stray thoughts from her mind and focused on the tasks at hand. She noticed Elena heading her way when she looked up to see if it was time to file into the exam room. “Hey where were you last night?” Elena asked.

“Out,” Felicity replied.

Elena rose on eyebrow and said, “the night before a midterm? That’s not exactly smart.”

“I’m here aren’t I?” she replied in disgust. She hated how Elena always had an opinion about everything and everybody.

“What’s with the attitude?” Elena asked with concern.

“Nothing. Its nothing,” Felicity insisted. She packed away her books and filed into the exam room with the others and waited for the exam to begin. When the test was in front of her she stared at the series of equations that she knew the answers to, but she couldn’t bring herself to answer any of them. She no longer knew why she was even bothering it. She looked up at the exam clock and saw that she had a little over an hour to go. Felicity bit her lip before signing her name and submitting the empty exam.

She was sitting in the dark in her dorm room when someone tapped on the door before letting themselves in. Ben stood in front of the open door watching her sit there. He could see that she was in some sort of mood, but he knew more than most that sometimes you just needed to reach out. He walked towards her and said, “you okay?”

Felicity simply shrugged her shoulders.

“Talk to me,” Ben asked. He wasn’t use to seeing her so down. It was another facet of her personality that he was learning about. There were so many layers to Felicity that he wondered what other secrets she held. But, seeing her like this made him feel sad for her. “What happened today?”

“I bombed the exam.”

“Why what happened? I thought you were ready?” he asked.

“I was. I just didn’t see the point,” she stated matter-of-factly.

“What? That doesn’t make sense,” he said.

“Why am I taking organic chemistry and anatomy classes? What’s the point? All my life I’ve been doing things cause that’s what was expected of me, but its like I had a moment where I was like who cares?” Felicity said.

“Maybe you just need to figure out what you wanna do. That’s what college is about after all,” Ben said.

She looked at him through her tears and said, “how do I do that?”

“Just take it day by day,” he said as he sat next to her on the bed.

“I think I’m gonna fail this class,”she said.

“Hey, it was one midterm. You can make it up with your final,” he said as he wrapped an arm around her shoulders. He held her to him and rubbed her back soothingly. She looked up at him and said, “I’m scared.”

“Hey, it’s going to be okay,” he said as they sat there.

Felicity clung to him and wondered how they had happened so quickly. How had she gone from thinking she could never have this guy to lying in his arms. The fear that had enveloped her when she’d left her exam was all encompassing. She had spent most of her day in the room just sitting there instead of preparing for her next set of finals. Felicity was so used to being focused and in control that her current state of confusion left her feeling empty. She didn’t know what she wanted at all. Her whole life had been planned out for her and suddenly she was in this big city full of possibility and for once she had no clue where to go.

Ben woke with a crick in his neck and sore back. He could feel the soft feel of her curls against his cheek. He smiled to himself and held her a little closer. A part of him was trying to wrap his mind around the way things were now; they way she was. He thought he had her pegged as the cute overachiever who knew exactly what she wanted. Ben was beginning to realize that Felicity was an enigma. She was as confused as she was about who she wanted to be and somehow that made him feel better. All those expectations that seemed to be weighing him down slowly started to drift away. There was just something about Felicity that had made him a little bit weary, but as he got to know her better that weariness was fading and being replaced and odd emotion. It was something he couldn’t quite pinpoint or define, but he was fine with that.

He stepped out of bed and kissed her softly before tiptoeing towards the door.

“Ben where are you going?”

“Home. Go back to bed.”

“Is everything all right?” Felicity asked.

Ben smiled at her softly and said, “Everything is fine.”

“Okay, goodnight Ben,” Felicity said as she drifted off to sleep. He watched her by the doorway for a few minutes before leaving.