"George! George, wake up!"

George muttered and rolled over, ignoring the commotion.

"I can't clear all that Solar Bamboo out of the lab by myself, you realize!"

There was the sound of scraping as the Doctor nudged the coffin lid aside to try and more directly roust the Lab-Ruling Immortal. George cringed at the noise; really, it was worse than Dr. Inasnum merely banging on the lid. He hurt all over after being burned to a crisp by a flood of solar bugs, and the last thing the vampire wanted to do was help the scientist clean up the mess that had caused him such burnination.

I swear, if he touches me, I cannot be held accountable for my actions. George sleepily thought, bracing for a hand to clap him on the nearest burned shoulder.

"George-?"

"?"

George listened to the confusion in the Doc's tone, as well as the confused inquiry from Boki-chan (the Sixth!). He'd made the new ghoul before going to sleep in the hopes that it would keep the Doctor from bothering him while his impressive display of solar burn injuries mended.

"That's strange, I could have sworn he would be in here." George heard the Doctor address the bok. "He's your master, surely you know where he is?"

"..."

Did he go blind while he was high? George wondered. I'm right here!

"Well he has to be around the complex somewhere, and I doubt he'll like to hear we found a rat in his coffin!" The Doc's footsteps indicated he was leaving the room. "Even if he almost never uses the thing!"

"Rat?!" George squeaked, eyes snapping open in a moment of panic.

"..."

The Lab-Ruling Immortal looked up at the ghoul. And up. And up some more. Because it seemed that everything had grown quite large, and the bok seemed a giant from George's vantage.

"..."

"I what?" The vampire asked incredulously, taking the ghoul's recommendation to look himself over.

He was on all fours, and felt a great deal fuzzier than he generally did when he neglected to shave for a few days. Not to mention the pointy nose he could see out in front of his face, or the bald tail sticking off his hind end. There was a rat in his coffin.

HIM!

"AAAAAAAAAAAH!!" George tried to jump up, tripped over his own four feet, and felt flat on his tail.

"..."

"It's not funny!" The Lab-Ruling Rat whined. "I didn't know I could do that!"

"?"

"It's not like I spend my free time practicing the dark arts!"

"..."

George paused to consider the ghoul's statement. It was true he'd been pretty badly hurt by the solar bug infestation. Maybe the shapechanging thing was merely temporary while his injuries healed. In any case, he didn't ache, and the Doc hadn't recognized 'the rat in George's coffin' for the vampire himself.

"Okay, I'm gonna have some fun with this!" George declared. "If the Doc doesn't know it's me, he can't bug me with his inane experiments! I'm off!"

Boki-chan waited as the Lab-Ruling Rat boldly strolled...

... into the side wall of the coffin.

"... Um... Crud." George tried to jump high enough to catch the edge of the coffin, tiny little forepaws scrabbling against the wood to no avail. "Boki-chan?... Help?"

"..."

"STOP LAUGHING AT ME!" George squeaked at his insolent servant.

"?"

"Yes, I can't get out of this thing like this!"

"..."

"Wait, what?"

"..."

"Hey, that's not a bad idea! So... how do I do that?"

"?"

"... You don't know, do you?"

"..."

George sighed. So vampires could shapeshift, and a rat wasn't his only option. It just wasn't the option most suitable for getting out of the stupid coffin. He sat down and contemplated his options.

"Wait, of course! I know, what do most vampires turn into to get away from... I dunno, pitchfork-weilding villagers?"

"?"

"Bats, you nimwit! Bats! Or... uh... a bat, I guess."

George concentrated, trying to tap into that reserve of dark energy that he usually forgot he had most of the time. After all, being a vampire was going to be a temporary condition, curse it all! After a few seconds that the Lab-Ruling Immortal could only describe as 'tingly', he fell flat on his face, no longer balanced properly on four legs.

"Oof!" He shoved himself upright, precariously balanced. "Boki-chan, did it work?"

"!"

"A what?"

"!"

"Fruit bat?!"

"..."

"Stop laughing!" George commanded for the umpteenth time. "I don't like how blood tastes anyway!"

"..."

"I know fruit bats eat like, bugs... and plant stuff. Shut up!"

"..."

"Hold your horses! How hard can flying be?"

George stretched, checking out the leathery wings that usually were his hands in human form. He'd seen plenty of flying things before. A simple matter of flapping hard and he should be airborne in no time!

Luckily for the Lab-Ruling Immortal's dignity, or what broken remains of it were left, anyway; apparently vampirism came with the animal instincts built in. A few clumsy flaps and George was in the air, wobbling around his room. The place really did seem a great deal bigger as a rat or a bat. Heck, he could probably finally get all the stuff he crammed under his bed this way!

"Boki-chan!" Dr. Inasnum's voice sounded from down the hallway.

"Oh cra-"

George learned that doors being slammed open into your face hurt a lot more when you're a rat or a bat, as the Doc flung the bedroom door open, slamming the Lab-Ruling Fruit Bat into the wall. He slid to the floor with a pained squeak as the Doctor entered the room.

"?"

"I can't find George anywhere!" The Doctor explained. "So we'll have to search this place top to bottom! Every nook and cranny!"

George dazedly flew into the air again, wobbling disoriented into the middle of the room. The Doc, being observant and not a complete idiot spotted the flappy thing. He fell silent, watching the little bat shake off an apparent daze.

"... George, is that you?"

George almost fell out of the air a second time. If the Doc knew George could shapeshift, he'd never have a moment's peace again! The years of working as Dr. Inasnum's assistant would be pleasant in comparison! He had to fool the scientist into think he was just a regular bat!

"Uh... squeak?" George hazarded lamely.

"Drats... I bet this little fellow has brought plenty of his friends to poop up the tower. I'll have to see about chasing them out before more of them get into the lab!" The Doctor snatched George out of the air with an indignant squeak. "Out you go!"

"Lemme go you crazy idiot!" George squirmed, but apparently his voice was high pitched enough that the Doctor couldn't make out the words.

"!"

Boki-chan chased after the pair as the Doctor jogged through the complex to the nearest window, and pulled the shades aside to toss George out into the daylight. Thankfully that window let out to the shaded side of the lab, a sheltered corner where the pet cockatrice liked to sleep.

"Ow..." George complained to no one in particular, silently thanking whatever deity spared him being tossed into direct sunlight. Flying back into the lab didn't seem like a good idea, and he suspected being caught as a rat wouldn't go over well with the Doc. Perhaps there was another option?

One tingly changing moment later, and the Lab-Ruling Immortal looked himself over with satisfaction. Okay, so the black fur was completely and totally cliche, but the Doc wouldn't react badly to seeing a cat slinking around the lab. And now the window was an easy leap away!

"Meow, baby! Hey, girls like cats... I'll have to try this out!" George purred to himself, making the jump to the roof of the cockatrice's pet house, and then to the window.

"!"

Boki-chan shoved past a surprised Doctor Inasnum and darted outside to rescue its unfortunate master!

... And completely forgot that the door opened into direct sunlight.

PAMF!

Meanwhile, George shoved the shade aside with his head and snuck back inside the lab. A few carefully timed jumps and clawing his way up lab equipment, and the Lab-Ruling Cat had a pleasing view of the lab and the confused Doctor from the safety of the rafters.

Maybe this immortal creature of darkness thing actually had some perks!