Chapter Four

In Which the Kids Discover the World Outside is a Wonderful Place for Morphs, Except for the Occasional all too Stereotyped Bigot

To all my dearest of dear Readers!

I've just finished the latest batch of writings (not on toilet tissue this time – thank you, brave reviewer who busted me out! ) for you all! It's been a while since the last update, I'm sure you in your raving horde of story craving mob mentality have noticed, and for that I'm truly sorry. It's hard to find time to scribble the latest news of our beloved Foursome when you’re in college and have so much on your plate (which, for the average college student, is probably pizza and hot wings), but I’ve finally got something to show for it! Weeeee!

That established, I hope you enjoy the following. And I'll leave you with a question, one and all...what is it with jocks and tail pulling?

Still sincerely pondering,

Pink Parka Girl

(The time – 7:30 AM. Mary Sue, always having to be the leader, begins to make her way down to the town below, hopping along the sloping incline with so typical foxlike grace. Clint, Rachel and Laura, though not allowed to be quite as graceful as Mary Sue, follow along without one iota of trouble.)

Mark Sue says gleefully, "Isn’t it wonderful how we never get any negatives out of being morphed, only the positives? Lookit meeeeee!"

(She makes another graceful leap unto a rock several feet below, landing gently on her foot-paws, her nine tails swirling beautifully about her body.)

Clint, Rachel and Laura stare in awe. "You truly are the definition of beauty, oh Lady Arianna Creamfur!"

Mary Sue nods. "And you’d better not forget it!"

(She hops again, never once making a mistake, as the others follow.)

Rachel says, "I think Lady Arianna is right...I could never have climbed down this neck breaking incline as some pitiful human before!"

Laura nods. "Of course not! The morphic process always gives us enhanced physical abilities. We can always run much faster, despite our still overall human body shape –"

(To demonstrate, she scurries at breakneck speed towards where Mary Sue waits at the base of the incline as foxes, of course, are so much more graceful than rodents, stopping on a dime right before she runs headlong into her beautiful leader.)

Laura finishes off by saying, "And do it all without having to drop to all fours! "

Rachel ooooohs in admiration.

States Laura, "We can totally outperform human athletes in every form of sport imaginable, and all without ever having to practice walking on our funny new paws, learn how to hold our tails so we don’t trip over them, fight the animal instinct that would tell us the best way to travel fast is with all four paws on the ground, or remembering the fact that in some things, humans would be better adapted!"

Clint, by now long over his angst, says "We can just plain do everything better than humans!"

Laura grins. "Even calculus!"

Rachel, taking Clint’s paw and racing down the incline with the same perfect poise as Laura, squeals "Wheeee! I couldn’t do that as a human!"

Laura just grins. "Rachel, differentiate y (3x +1) squared."

Rachel beams. "D (3x + 1)squared 2 (3x + 1)squared-1 D (3x + 1) 2 (3x + 1) (3) 6 (3x + 1)." Finishing with a grin, she states, "I could have never done this before being morphed!"

"See my point?" said Laura.

(Taking Rachel’s paw in one of her own, and Mary Sue’s in the other, she gestures with her muzzle towards the city)

Says Laura, "The sun is up, and the day is dawning! Let’s go make our entrance!"

(After Clint takes Mary Sue’s free paw, they all race towards the city of Periwinkle Port, shouting with glee.)

------

(Six dashes later, the group has split up, each one reaching their individual houses. As Mary Sue raises her paw to knock on the door, the mailman saunters by, whistling. He stops when he sees Mary Sue.)

The Mailman, looking like he’s just seen the most beautiful thing in the world, says "Oh, lala! Such a sexy costume. Is that you, Miss Celeste?"

Mary Sue says, smoothing her STILL shampoo-commercial perfect hair with a paw, "Celeste? Celeste is gone...in her place is Lady Arianna Creamfur, better than that hyuuman ever was! For this is no costume, mailman dear – it’s my new honest to goodness body!"

The Mailman, bemused, approaches Mary Sue, feeling her body (but not like THAT though, you damned perverts). "It sure feels real...how did it happen?"

Mary Sue says with vigor, "Those scoundrels Team Rocket! No one else could have done it!"

Says the Mailman, "You mean no one else has the technology to -"

Mary Sue shakes her head. "No, you silly, I mean no one else is allowed to! The other groups, or even any independent labs, just aren’t as eeeeevvvviiiilll as Team Rocket! Which is why, much as I love what they’ve done to my body, I just can’t let them get away with it! They must be taken down once and for all!"

The Mailman, totally nonplussed with the idea of morphs and Team Rocket, hides a yawn. "Well...good luck with that."

(He saunters off, again whistling. Mary Sue, still feeling slightly flattered by the mailman’s calling her sexy, knocks on her parents’ door.)

Her Mother opens the door, staring down at her daughter, knowing her child’s brilliant skilligimink colored orbs anywhere. "Cel...Celeste?"

Mary Sue dips her muzzle slightly in a nod. "It’s me, Mom...it’s me."

Her Mother grabs Mary Sue and pulls her inside, wrapping her in a huge hug. "Baby, baby...how did it happen? Who did this to you? My poor, poor baby..."

Says Mary Sue, "It’s not so bad, Mama...it’s okay...it’s all okay..."

(Mother and daughter continue to cry and cling to each other, in a scene that would be heartwarming were this not supposed to be a parody fic.)

Says Mother "I’ll never turn you away, being the totally morally straight person all parents are in these stories with no ambiguous feelings or conflicts whatsoever. I’ll love you always, Celeste...what sorts of jerks did this to you, baby? It was that horrible Team Rocket, wasn’t it?"

Mary Sue nods. "Who else could be responsible?"

Her Mother sits down on the couch. "I know you’ll get your revenge, sweetie...but, you do remember that this is a school day, yes? School first, then saving the world, my love. The obligatory school scene is always important, you know!"

Mary Sue, for once looking excited for school, shouts out with glee, "Special treatment and bullying, here I come!"

-----0-----

(After passing by Saturn and its rings, Mary Sue met up with Clint, Laura and Rachel in front of the school, staring up at the building.)

Laura, clutching “Pokemorphs – a History” closer to her chest, says "Well...here we go, gang...

(She looks in the book briefly.)

Asks Laura, "Corny tail high-five for good luck before we go?"

Rachel nods gleefully. "Yay! The cornier, the better!"

(The four whack their tails together, shouting BFFs for life, never minding the contradiction that phrase is, and other such nonsense in a corny, head slamming display of solidarity.)

Laura nods, flicking her tail away. "Let’s do this."

(They enter the school, where, predictably, everyone stops to stare at them. Most look on with wonder, some with envy, some with curiosity, and a few with disdainful sneers. The disdainful sneerers, the typical bully clique of oh so unintelligent but well liked sports stars, push the other aside, advancing towards Mary Sue and co.)

The Leader, speaking in near-incoherent two word babbling, to show just how stoopid he and other jocks are and how much lovelier and smarter and nobler the morphs are, says "TAIL PULL!"

The Others brainlessly chorus. "TAIL PULL! TAIL PULL! TAIL PULL!"

The other kids instantly group around the morphs and jocks, chanting as well. "Fight! Fight! Fight! Fight! Fight! Fight! Beat! Jocks! Show! How! No! Ble! You! Are! Make! Us! He! Ro! Wor! Ship! You! Fight! Fight! Fight! Fight!"

Rachel, showing her simpering side, squeals "They’re gonna pull my taiiiiilll! Eeeeek!"

Says Laura, "Remember, Rachel – you have the power of CALCULUS! They’re just stupid jocks! You can beat them!"

Rachel babbles to herself. "Just stupid jocks...I’m stronger then them, have better senses, so much prettier, better because I’ve got the tail and they don’t, and can do calculus without thinking about it! I...you stupid jocks! I may have had the attention span of a rodent even before being morphed, but I can still beat you! Arrrrrrrrrgh!"

(Cheeks sparking, Rachel advances, Clint and Laura not far behind. The jocks back up a bit, cowed. Mary Sue, not liking this upstaging, steps in front of them all.)

Mary Sue says, "Guys, guys! Remember your places. You can help fight – but remember, I’m the heroine here!"

(The others retreat slightly, meekly, but still sparking. Rachel’s strawberry scented pink Thunderbolts flicker, along with Clint’s dark Gawth, Hot Topic dressing Thunderbolts that smell of pasty white face makeup and Laura’s red and yellow striped ones that stink like HeadOn medication. However, the truly blinding light came from Mary Sue, who was surrounded by brilliant golden flames, that smelled of Heaven and angels and all that is good and noble and honorable. The crowd ooooooooooooooohs in admiration.)

The Jock Leader closed his eyes. "Ignore light! Must pull! Pull tails! Must!"

(Mary Sue blazes brighter, as a massive Flamethrower attack surges straight at the jocks, not only giving them a roasting but humiliating them further by giving them wedgies and sticking their heads in the nearest toilets.)

The Crowd, along with Clint, Laura and Rachel, cheer, waving their hands in the air. "You showed them! Yeah! Whoooooo! Enter Hero Worship Mode!"

(The whole group immediately drops to their knees, as if Mary Sue were a god or a Legendary pokémon. After letting them all kiss her paws, a teacher, wondering at the noise, sticks his head out into the hallway.)

Yells the Teacher, "Get to class, all of you! The bell rang two minutes ago! Move it!"

(Grumbling, the crowd disperses, until only the morphs remain. The teacher looks them over, bemused by the various scents in the air, along with the numerous origami swans from Rachel’s efforts.)

Says the Teacher, "You kids! This isn’t Halloween, you know!"

Mary Sue nods. "We know it isn’t, Mr. Corrigan, sir, but we can’t help it. We..."

(She turns on the waterworks, making her eyes huge and glassy and using her amazing charm powers never mind the fact ninetales can’t learn Charm. The others follow suit, but not as impressively as Mary Sue, despite the fact that raichu can know Charm.)

Mary Sue pleads, "We know it’s not Halloween, sir, but we can’t do anything about it! We’re stuck in these forms! Team Rocket morphed us! Evil, evil Team Rocket!"

(Mr. Corrigan’s face softens.)

Mr. Corrigan states, "Team Rocket? Is that so?"

(He sighs.)

Says Mr. Corrigan, "How do I know they won’t endanger this town to get you experiments back?"

(Laura sticks “Pokemorphs: A History” in Mr. Corrigan’s face.)

Mr. Corrigan nods in understanding. "I...I see. I’m sorry I ever doubted Team Rocket’s stupidity, kids. Now, I know you clogged up the halls and beat up other students, but really now, you’ve been through enough, haven’t you? I mean, you were morphed! You deserve special treatment."

(The morphs grin at each other and have another tail high-five, which makes even Mr. Corrigan groan from the sheer tackiness.)

Mr. Corrigan says, "In fact, I think your bravery deserves a special class with me every afternoon. I’ll show you all about your amazing superpowers!"

Rachel beams. "Wow, Mr. Corrigan! You can do that, even though you didn’t even morph us?"

Mr. Corrigan says, "Of course!"

Rachel squeals. "Whee!"

Says Mr. Corrigan, "Now, run off to your morning classes. Meet me here straight after lunch, kiddos!"

(As the foursome runs off, back in the Lab, the Rocket Grunt looks up at Giovanni.)

Says the Rocket Grunt, "They escaped, sir...just as I knew they would!"

Giovanni smacks the grunt. "Silence! I knew this would happen, as well...but it’s not like there’s much we can do to stop it. The author’s whims are a hard force to fight against..."

Asks the Rocket Grunt, meekly, "But we at least have to try and recover the morphs, yes?"

Giovanni nods. "Of course! Though for some reason, I don’t even know where to begin to look..."

The Rocket Grunt nods as well. "It’s like someone stuck a hose in my brain and sucked away all my common sense..."

(They sit there, completely and totally dumbfounded.)

Giovanni, crying to the heavens, screams, "How do they manage to vanish into thin air like that? It’s not fair!"

(Elsewhere, television newscasters lament similarly.)

Laments a News Anchor, "How is it that absolutely NOTHING has managed to happen in Periwinkle Port this morning, Bob?"

Cries Bob, "Not even a heartwarming last resort human-interest story, Nancy. Nothing!"

Bob and Nancy wail together, "It’s just not fair!"

(And on that note, I shall end for now. But look forward to the next chapter...”In Which We Learn the Extent of the Hero’s Powers, Team Rocket Bumbles About, and We Follow Ash Around to learn about OMG morphs being trainers!!112111.” But before we go...a poetry recital by PPG!)

Pink Parka Girl ahems. "Is this thing on?"

(She taps the fanfic.)

Pink Parka Girl: Now...

Oh Mary Sue, with eyes of jade,

To see you on the Just In page

It sends me into fits of rage!

I’d like to stuff you in a box

And seal it with a million locks

And send you, post rate, to Brazil –

Or kick you off a window sill

And watch you land with a big SPLAT

And feed your innards to my cats.

It makes me groan, it makes me howl

To see the Suthors on the prowl.

Their updates pop up everywhere

For quality, they do not care!

Thank you for reading, and farewell till next time!