Authoress’ Notes: Like I said in my bio some time ago, I made this story in honor of the fact that Kirby is back on TV again! YAYSIES! This is completely random and based off “Kirby & the Amazing Mirror” because I always do something stupid in that game and I like it bunches. Okay, I’ll shut up now. /

Potato Salad

Prologue: The Potato’s Awakening

Okay, so once upon a time, there was this guy, right? No, scratch that; it sucks... There was this guy named Kirby... and he was pink. Well, anyway, he went on a lot of quests during his lifetime, one of which involved mirrors... and bad guys... and... stuff!

After putting the Amazing Mirror back together and saving the Mirror World, Kirby then found out that he couldn’t get himself back together after Dark Meta Knight sliced him up! I mean, like mentally, not physically... no, wait... maybe not... ANYWAY!

Through his journey to fix the Amazing Mirror, Kirby also realized that he was actually divided into different Kirbies, based off of his emotions, allowing them to act on their act own and not listen to word Kirby said to them, which was usually a bad thing!

Kirby, of course, was the Star (Ha, Star!) of the entire gang because he was pink and pink is very sexy on guys and girls like it because we’re supposed to (or, at least, I do), therefore making Kirby the leader!

Sasha was Kirby’s yellow happy side, although she was anything but! She often griped and complained about what Kirby was doing and never came when he called her on his phone, unless it was by accident! She was, in fact, the smartest of the four, but never followed the group and never brought Kirby any nourishment just because she’s always mad at him for something! She does have a small crush on Kirby, though!

Mizu was Kirby’s red angry side, and it didn’t take much to set him off! He often kept to himself and practiced with his swords and blades and stuff! He was a master at the ability of Sword and Cutter, along with just about all the others. He one day hopes to best Meta Knight’s in a sword fight, ever since he lost to last one to him, along with his left eye. He was a strong fighter, but he only came to help Kirby whenever he fought a Boss or a very big enemy with an unfair advantage!

Finally, François was Kirby’s green scared side, but he was also classified as critically insane! François was a weird one, all right, but he helped Kirby whenever he could, the little freak. A total coward, François came to Kirby’s aid when he needed it, but he usually ran away the second someone got hit by the bad guy!

Now, he’s back in Dreamland! Or Pop Star! Or the Mirror World! Or some randomly-placed green flowery spot in the universe that’s not Earth with his other three-halves! Somehow, that didn’t sound quite right...

Kirby sat in the grassland of Rainbow Route, with his little, yellow girlfriend, Sasha. Of course, Sasha was a girl and she was one of Kirby’s friends, hence her name. Unfortunately, Kirby was too focused on other things to even notice she was there. He assumed she was probably a Waddle Dee, or something.

“Kirby, aren’t you bored...? Wanna go do something?” Sasha asked, obviously smitten with Kirby!

“If it rhymes with ‘decks’ and starts with an ‘S’, then no,” Kirby absent-mindedly replied.

Sasha smacked Kirby with a random Scarfy! “Eww, that’s gross, Kirby! I can’t believe you actually said that!”

“Well, I can’t believe it’s not butter!” the pink one replied, holding up a piece of cheese!

Sasha scoffed. “You’re not making any sense!”

Kirby stood tall! “Of course I’m not making any sense, and do you know why?”

Sasha frowned angrily. “No. Why?”

“It’s my phone! I finally get the damn thing working and then Verizon Wireless goes and disconnects it! Those bastards!” Kirby rampaged!

“Kirby, you’ve got better things to do than to sit around and worry about your stupid cell phone!” Sasha said.

“Then, let me break yours for you and see how it feels,” Kirby said, holding out his hand.

Sasha held it behind her back. “Okay! Okay! I get where you’re coming from!”

“Mizu, are you gonna teach me how to fight?’ François asked, watching an idiotic Pengy wander around a lava pool!

“No,” Mizu replied, practicing his swordplay.

“Please?” François begged, giving Mizu the oh-so-cute Kirby eyes!

“...No...” Mizu refused.

“Aw...” François whined. “Why?”

Mizu turned around. “Because... potato.”

“Potato?” François inquired.

Mizu pointed behind François. “Potato.”

François scoffed. “Is this some kind of joke? Are trying to say that I’M a potato?”

Mizu calmly walked over and yanked the confused François around.

François gasped. “POTATO!”

Lo and behold, like Mizu said, there was a potato rolling along the ground. Coming between Mizu and François, it stopped.

Mizu starred at the spud.

François starred at the spud.

Mizu starred at the spud.

François starred at the spud.

Mizu starred at the spud.

François starred at the spud.

Mizu starred at the spud.

François starred at Mizu.

Mizu starred at François. “What?”

“Hey, Mizu... I think it’s trying to tell us something...” François whispered loudly.

“Yeah...right...” Mizu backed away from François, withdrawing a sword and resuming his training!

François picked the potato up. “No, really! It wants us to take it to our leader!”

“Kirby? Fine, whatever...” Mizu paid no mind to François, slicing a Hot Head in half!

François starred at the potato some more. Its shape was so... interesting... After a few more seconds of starring, his eyes glazed over and he began walking around like a zombie!

“Must... eat... DONUTS!” François barked, turning into a microwave!

Mizu turned around again. “Stop it, Fran; you’re breaking my concentration...”

Without any warning, François sucked up a random Foley and turned into Bomb Kirby! With his newfound Bomb power, François began blowing up all of Mustard Mountain, causing rocks and boulders to fall near the irate red Kirby! In the blink of an eye, Mizu sliced a rock in half! Then another and another, and so on! Seeing as this was good training, for his reflexes, Mizu danced about the rocks and kept breaking them, as François continued to blow up stuff. Well, that can’t be good...

Elsewhere...

Kirby and Sasha were in the Candy Constellation, trying to see if Kirby’s cell phone could get a better signal from up there!

“Kirby, this’ll never work, and you know it! Let’s go and find Mizu and François already!” Sasha complained.

With the Spark ability, Kirby waved his phone around in the air. “NO! Not until I get this damn thing to work!”

Sighing, Sasha used her cute, little cell phone to call Mizu.

Mustard Mountain... or what was left of it...

Mizu picked up is phone just as it started ringing! “Yeah? Whaddya want?” he asked rudely!

“Mizu, Kirby’s acting stupid again. Go get François and meet us in Candy Constellation,” Sasha demanded.

“I can’t,” came the reply.

“WHY?” Sasha shouted.

“François got possessed by an evil potato and now I think he’s trying to take over the world with the powers of...um... I think he said processed cheese...” Mizu said, frowning.

“Take over the world? François can’t take over a damn coffee table! Go get him and come hereNOW!” With that, Sasha hung up.

“Yeah, easy for you to say...” Mizu mumbled to his phone.

François ran past him, tossing another bomb his way. “Hey, Mizu! HEADS UP!”

“Okay, François; I’ve had enough of your silly games,” Mizu scowled. He swiftly took out a sword and sliced the bomb in half, somehow causing it to explode in François’ face!

Clutching the potato, François fell to the ground, also giving up his Bomb ability. “Ouch...”

“Come on. Sasha wants us and I don’t feel like having to kick her ass today...” Mizu explained, dragging François to the nearest exit.

Candy Constellation

Sasha went over and smacked Kirby in the back of the head. “Kirby, Mizu and François are coming, and when they get here, we’re leaving!”

“More like ‘when they get here, no one’s going anywhere until I can make long-distance calls to Dedede about how much of an ass he is!’ That’s what it’s going to be like!” Spark Kirby retorted, still holding the phone up.

Then, Mizu and François arrived, the latter holding a potato for some reason.

Sasha threw her hands up. “What took you guys so long?”

Mizu tossed François on the ground. “It took us, like 10 seconds to get here and all you is gripe and moan bout it?”

“Because you could’ve gotten here in 5 seconds if you’d used your Warp Stars!” Sasha complained.

“Mine’s broken, remember?” Mizu said.

“And I think I lost mine, but the potato doesn’t care about that! It’s a cruel, cruel world, Master Potato! A CRUEL, CRUEL WORLD!” François spazzed out.

Sasha looked at the potato François had. “What’s with him?”

“That’s the evil potato that’s trying to take over François and turn him into a zombie,” Mizu replied.

“Oh,” Sasha simply responded.

Then, Spark Kirby got an idea! “I know! Let’s go to the evil Verizon Wireless Company and settle this mess once and for all!”

Sasha shook her head. “Kirby, you know we can’t do that...”

François nodded and grinned crazily. “Oh, yes we can, Sasha, dear... Yes, we can...”

Sometime later, everyone was at the Verizon Wireless Company building!

Mizu looked surprised. “How’d we do that?”

François dropped the potato. “EVIL SPUD! EVIL SPUD!”

Kirby snatched the potato and glared at it. “What the hell is this all about?”

François hid behind Mizu. “Kirby! Don’t look directly at it! It’ll turn you into a zombie!”

“Whatever!” Kirby started pushing buttons on his cell phone again. “Hello? Hello? Damn it, I said HELLO?”

Sasha sighed. “What’s it gonna take to get Kirby to listen to me for more than five seconds?”

“Hello? Hello? Hello? Verizon Wireless? HEY!” Kirby screamed into his cell phone in a very unintelligent way.

“Give it up, man. If you don’t pay the phone bill, then you don’t get to talk on the phone,” Mizu spat, being the mean-butt, as usual.

“Well, then... In that case, the Verizon Wireless Company must die!” Kirby declared, running off and into a nearby tree across the way.

“...Does this mean I can’t have my donuts today?” François asked.

Mizu couldn’t help but glare angrily at the weird François, who was green, by the way, and growl. Not that Kirbies can growl, mind you. They laugh, and giggle, they squeak, and occasionally scream, but I don’t think I’ve ever heard one growl. Interesting...

After recovering from his earlier incident, Kirby marched up to the Verizon Wireless building and chucked the potato at it! The spud splattered against a window, then Dedede popped his head out.

“It’s impossible, Kirby! You can’t get into the almighty building of the Verzion Wireless Company! This is payback for not letting me be in KATAM!” the penguin shouted, shaking his fist at the pink ball of fluff on the ground.

Kirby frowned. “KATAM?”

“Is that some kind of a cult, or something?” François asked.

“No! He means “Kirby & the Amazing Mirror”! HELLO?” Sasha spat.

“Oh. Well, um... you suck, Dedede, and I don’t mean the good kind!” Kirby taunted!

Dedede threw his Hammer out the window! “Yeah, right! Well, take this! And don’t even think of trying to suck it up!”

But Kirby was too pigheaded to listen, and he liked to suck up things, so he did and he became Hammer Kirby!

Dedede grabbed the smushed potato and flung it at Sasha! “Damn you, Kirby!”

Hammer Kirby slammed the potato down on the ground and away from Sasha!

Sasha blushed. “Aw, Kirby! That was so sweet of you! See? I knew you had some common sense in your little brain somewhere!”

François freaked out. “OH, MY GOD! LOOK!”

The potato was completely unharmed! Just a moment ago, it was smashed, smushed, splattered, and not looking too good, but now, it was fine! And... getting bigger?

Hammer Kirby backed away. “What the...”

The spud had begun to grow! And grow! AND GROW!

Dedede, who was none to happy that his plan to join up with the Verizon Wireless people and overcharge Kirby’s phone rates wasn’t working, jumped out the 89th floor with a laser machine gun in tow! Too bad he didn’t notice the alien potato in his way on the street.

“All right, Kirby! Today, you shall die!” he shouted in his descent.

“Not today, Dedede! Maybe when the video game industry crashes, or they run out of ideas for the TV show, but NOT TODAY!” François shouted. And with that, he proceeded to inhale the laser machine gun Dedede had idiotically brought with him, and turned into Laser Kirby!

The King fell headfirst onto the potato with a THWUMP! Confused, he sat up and looked around.

“Hey! What’s going on? Where’s inevitable boom and Kirbies flying all over the place?” Dedede demanded!

Dedede got his wish just as the enlarged potato shot off and into the sky, farther than the eye could see!

Hammed Kirby cocked an eyebrow. “Well, that was awkward...”

“Yeah...” François added, but immediately switched to attacking mode and shot a laser at Dedede and the flying spud, exploding it on impact. The result was raining French fries, which Kirby considered to be a good thing... and it was, too.

Then, the idiotic Cappies ran out of nowhere and danced about. “Food! Food! Yay! Kirby has brought us back the food... AGAIN!”

Hammer Kirby starred at the large assortment of idiotic Cappies. “...yeah...”

Mizu turned to the group. “Anyone wanna go out and eat?”

“Yeah...”

“Sure...”

“Whatever...”

And so, the gang set off in order to find something to eat, probably something big, like a Phan-Phan, or something...

But little did they know of a strange figure watching them as the sun set in the distance...

“Kirby... you have grown with your powers and coped with your problems in so many ways... but this... potato threat... is not over yet...” the shadow said.