Title: A First Time For Everything

Author: Keily Shinra/Soshite

Scenario: AU Vader has legal custody over his son after the death of his wife. These are the series of stories of the poor man raising the boy. OOC, weirdness, stupidity and bad grammar abound

Disclaimer: I do not own SW or any of its characters.

A/N: Don't say you weren't warned. And why is the story the way it is? Because I said so….either that or everything will be explained in their own due time…Oh, yeah…beware of Phantom of the Opera references…

Chapter 1 – A First Time For Fatherhood

He had no experience really. What with being born of a woman and the Force…

He didn't know the first thing about being a father. Was it like being a mother? Well, in that case, he had seen quite a few of the best mothers in action, one of them being his own. Shmi Skywalker…She had been a kind and gentle woman, bless her soul! Too bad his son would never know her. Maybe one day he would take him to visit her grave, tell him about his days as a youth in the desert world of Tatooine, but not until he came to terms with a few things first…

…like his wife's death.

If he could kiss little Luke's forehead he would. The best that he could do for the tiny slumbering babe was to gently caress his cheek with a leather glove. Sith, how he wished he could touch the child, but as it were…too much oxygen at this stage for him might blind or deafen him for life and the last thing Lord Vader needed to deal with at the moment would be to find out that his own son had gone blind or deaf because of his carelessness.

His little son…

Force, he was being overly sentimental, but that was all right. The Sith were in control now and they could make up their own rules! But he still had a lot left to do…the destruction of the Jedi Order and the approval for the custody of his son was just the beginning. There was still much left to do and he would do anything his master said. But he had to remember his duty to his departed wife as well. He had failed her as he had just let her die, as he saw in his dreams so he had to take care of their child. Yes…he would do whatever he could for their son.

The little child opened his eyes to the galaxy and glanced about. He gave a little yawn and pawed the air with his clenched hands. Vader chuckled softly and brushed a thumb along Luke's brow gently. He noted that the baby had his eyes, his hair, his hands…But he was fair like his mother, not tanned and weather beaten as he had been before his transformation. Anger welled up unexpectedly within him and he turned away from the baby before he did something rash…or at least if he had to do something to let off some steam he wouldn't spook the baby. He could already see Padmé chastising him for it and telling him off for being so angry with his friend and master.

But he had every right to be angry! He had caused the death of his wife with his mere presence! He helped turn him into the being he was now! Sure, it helped to keep the officers assigned to him in line, but he was a little worried that it would scare his son as well. And whose fault was that? Obi-wan's of course! And not just Obi-wan…but the entire Order! He clenched both of his hands as a few things around him began to shake or shatter, frightening his son. The shrill cry of the baby was enough to shatter his dark thoughts and bring him back to the reality of things.

"I'm sorry Luke." He said apologetically as he reached to pick up the bundle babe. The boy suddenly began crying louder, his small limbs flailing about wildly in his blankets, making the Dark Lord of the Sith withdraw his hands. But that action had the opposite effect. Vader was really an inexperienced father and he knew and felt his inadequacy. He wished Padmé were still alive. She'd know what to do in a situation like this. "Luke…" he tried again, trying to soften his voice, but his blasted mask made his voice sound so…ominous. "Luke…"

After a while Vader figured out that Luke had wet himself after the initial terror that took over his body when his father went into his rage and that meant a change of diapers. The thought of switching the filthy things alone was enough to make him groan. How had his mother done it? First things first, he had to find some diapers. Right now he was in the apartment that he had shared with Padmé until new quarters could be supplied to him with his newly acquired son, so there was nothing for the baby as his birth was supposed to have been a secret.

"Waaaaaaaaaaah!"

He could still hear the baby's cries in the bedroom where he left him as he searched the home for anything that could be a good substitute for actual diapers. He bet the Force was laughing at him right now. He must look very foolish, crouching and looking under tables and perusing storage units in the search for a fresh diaper while Luke cried himself hoarse in the bedroom. He let out a strangled moan of despair. Screaming in anguish seemed like a good option at the moment.

"!"

The Dark Lord sighed. So this was fatherhood? Who knew it to be so rough. Finally, he decided on using a clean towel and some safety pins he found in the bathroom closet. They were the only things he could use. He carefully unwrapped the stinking mess and found more than just wetness.

"What a mess." The man remarked, wrinkling his nose in disgust.

"!"

"Alright, alright…I'll clean you up!" the man said as patiently as he could muster as he went back to the bathroom to search for disposable towels so he could clean up the baby, change his diaper and everyone could get on with their lives! It was his first family crisis as a father and his nerves were already beginning to get shot. He wondered vaguely if he could find a manual for babies on the Holonet…A podracer he could handle…a starfighter alright…a baby? They might as well have shipped Luke off to the Lars homestead!

Luke's cries became even more desperate as Vader finally rushed back in and cleaned the infant up while getting all sorts of fluids on his black armour. The child even…urinated on him halfway through putting on the new diaper which caused him to find yet another towel. Thankfully, he took much less time in procuring it than during his first attempt. Well, crisis number one averted for the moment so now Luke could stop—

"Waaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaah!"

"Oh, what now!"

The man slumped into a chair as he reached a hand to rub his temples only to remember that a mask and helmet were concealing his entire head. He gave a sigh. Luke had finally fallen asleep. He turned his head to look at the chrono to find that it was getting into the wee hours of the night. Too right the boy was asleep…it was past any child's bedtime. Still…it had been a rough first day on the job. Changing his diaper, feeding him, keeping the child entertained and clean…he really wondered how anyone could stand it.

With a wave of his hand all the lights that were still on in the apartment were turned off. He was going to need a lot of meditating to keep his sanity intact and no better place than to do it in the dark. The neon lights of the city filtered through the windows, casting shadows throughout the living room and lighting up his mockery of a face. If only he could bare to look at himself in the mirror…he probably looked like some freak monster from a holovid.

He silently cursed Kenobi and the Jedi Order once again and mentally sang his thanks and grievances to Chancellor…er…Emperor Palpatine. Once again his mind began to spiral into the dungeons of his darkest despair, plunging once again into the horrific prison of his mind…Once again along that path into darkness as deep as hell…

He had once been a man. Why was he not a man now? It was because that he was more machine than anything else; that was why. He could never be what he once was…physically at least. He'd never go back to being that useless, weak and poor excuse for a man…for one who would just let his loved ones die as he had…He'd never go back.

This was probably the fortieth night that he had been fuming about what had transpired in what seemed like an eternity ago. He knew it had been only a short amount of time since the fight between him and his former master, but it still felt so long ago…and had happened to someone else. Still, his hatred still burned with the fury of a thousand Tatooine twin suns. He hoped that wherever Kenobi had went that he was rotting away…

An hour passed on the chrono as Vader continued his angry thoughts before he stood up to check on his sleeping son. The door slid open with a soft hiss and he quietly stalked inside the room, surveying the precious sight before him. It made a small smile tug at his lips. Just as he first met him…the lights were dim, he was lying on his back and swathed in white linen, his hands clutched in tiny fists around his blanket. His chest rose and fell gently with each breath, his eyes closed lightly against the world around him. Such an innocent thing…

The man stood there for a few moments in quiet bliss before turning around so he could try some proper meditation when he heard the early morning wails of his son. He let out a slightly aggravated sigh that sounded rather ominous through his respirator though he didn't mean for it to.

"…So this is fatherhood."

A/N: From here on out...it gets ridiculous.