Anthology of Elliot Stabler

Muse:01

Children

Hands were folded in a sense of nervousness, a prayer-like position as Elliot sat, staring up at one of the many glass-stained windows inside the church. The echo of people walking in was something he barely noticed because of his mind being buried in thought. He wouldn’t wake from this nightmare until his children arrived, sat beside him, and hugged him, the wife at the opposite end of the children.

Elliot couldn’t imagine losing his children… Even now that he might as well be, he still couldn’t. Slowly, but surely, they were each slipping away somehow. Maureen was off at college, Kathleen going to parties with friends, Dickey being the only man of the house left, and then poor Elizabeth... she was so innocent...What would become of them without a stable father figure around? He’d see them now and then, but when he only had so little time before, how would he find time now?

Dark blue eyes shifted the gaze from the rainbow portrait to each of his children, as they seemed to file in. Kathy was at the far back as usual, giving a psuedo smile for the kids before sitting down.

Kids… that was definitely what his focus seemed to be today. However, it wasn’t only his own children he had in mind, but the children from his job, too. Just today he had dealt with a horrendous case (but then weren’t they all), where a little girl was abused and all the mothers acted like a cult. He probably ended up half-ruining a man’s life yesterday… And once Elliot remembered that it just led to another memory, another piece of string that was slowly being weaved together to become the story of his life. His job was his life.

Elliot’s mind went back to the kids in his cases again as he looked at his own. Maureen gave him an invisible look; she knew something was bothering him—but then what wouldn’t be bothering a man separated from his family, who has to hear and see people’s darkest innards every single day? The father recalled telling the shrink five years ago about how he had seen children with no souls… he could remember the way his voice choked and his eyes glimmered, but he refused to cry, refused to show any weakness at all, and he just held in all this rage… and hate for the people that have such wicked spirits… But then that made him hold in all of his emotions, and maybe Kathy sensed that.

Kathy wasn’t feeling any emotion from him. No anger, no love, no joy… no… nothing.

Elliot looked towards the window again at his right and he traced the invisible line forming in between the crevices as he formed it with his imagination, distracting himself. He felt like he shouldn’t be there, like something was wrong. But what could be wrong? His family was right there next to him… right?