Prologue
"Autolycus, come on!" Xena shouted into thin air. "I haven't got all day."
"Go away Xena, you're interrupting my beauty sleep."
Xena sighed and looked around her. Where the hell was he?
"Come on, Autolycus, Hercules told me you stole it. Again"
"What? No way, I worked hard to get that stone!"
Xena looked behind the altar and some of the statues. If there's one person who could still trick her, it was Autolycus. But even he couldn't outsmart her forever.
"Autolycus, tempering with time is dangerous. You remember what happened last time!"
"How would you know about last time?" he replied mockingly
"Hercules told me" she said even more mockingly than him. "Come on, Autolycus, Gabrielle is waiting for me and I'm already half a day late."
"How is Blondie, by the way?" Autolycus asked as if they were having a nice little conversation over a cup of tea.
"She's fine, you know, she's torn between the greater good and personal justice – romans, countrymen, that sort of thing."
"Ah, the usual then, that's nice. How're you doing?"
"You know: Warlords, personal justice, saving Gabrielle from trouble, getting your ass down from the ceiling."
"Ah, how… Wait a second, did you say?"
"Come down here Autolycus" Xena looked up and saw the green-dressed thief hung upside down from the ceiling bars.
"Come on, Xena" Autolycus pleaded and slowly descended towards her, still hanging on to his grapple. "It's only a stone; we both know I've stolen… I mean… 'Artistically removed' more valuable things in the past."
Xena smiled "The past is exactly the issue here, it's not just any ordinary stone you've… 'Artistically removed' this time."
"Yeah, well," Autolycus smiled and took a couple of steps back. "I'm not just an ordinary thief…" He extended his grapple again. "I am the king of thieves!" he threw it out a window and flew right out, yodeling away.
Xena sighed, took out her Chakram, and threw it out the window. The Chakram flew straight through Autolycus' cable, and then hit a tree.
Slowly Xena walked out of the Temple and walked with an innocent face towards the grounded Autolycus, whistling a nice little tune.
"Oh, I'm sorry; did my Chakram hit your grapple? I could have sworn I was aiming at that bird."
"Very funny" he got up and cleaned himself. "You almost killed me with that thing."
"I'm stunned with sorrow, now give me the stone."
"What stone?"
"Come on, Autolycus, you don't want me to keep Gabrielle waiting, now do you?"
"Yeah, well, the kid can take of her self, and…"
"Autolycus… if I don't return by sundown, this Warrior Princess is going to have one very angry Amazon Queen to deal with. Now you see, when the queen gets angry, she gets irritating. And when the queen gets irritating, well… You don't want to be the one to take the fault, trust me."
"What's the hurry Xena?" Autolycus smiled and took out the Chronos Stone. "Time, is on our side" he started rubbing it. "Or should I say… My side?"
"Autolycus!" Xena jumped on him and took the stone from his hand.
"Come on, Xena!" he grabbed it back, and now they were both battling over it.
"Autolycus, this is…" Xena now had the stone.
"Mine, and it'll stay this way" Autolycus snatched it away again.
"If anything, it's Chronos'"
"But Chronos is dead, now isn't he?"
"Don't get technical on me!"
"That's funny, coming from you!"
"What do you mean by that?"
"Come on, Xena, like you don't know!"
"Ahm… Autolycus… why is the stone lighting up?"
"Oh please, you really thought I'd fall for a trick as old as…"
"Autolycus, the stone! It's glowing!"
"Oh no, not again!"