NOT THE LIFE I LEFT YOU FOR

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I owe nothing: Veronica and most of the characters in this story are from the UPN series ‘Veronica Mars’ and belong to the responsible creators thereof.

I started this fanfic at work. Yes I am really bored…

I hope you'll like it. If you do please feedback, I need toknow if it's worth to go on with it...

As for my English skills: Uhm I am not English, so if you find any mistakes you can keep them :-)

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Prologue:

„Riley hide, go and hide!“ Veronica rushes her little toddler: “Hide so Daddy won’t find you!” she hurries her on in her bedroom, opens her closet and puts her inside: “Be calm okay darling, don’t say any word please, no matter what happens okay Darling?”

The little girl stars at her with big eyes, not really understanding what is going on. But the sound of her mother’s voice is frantic, tells her to better follow these new rules. Veronica nods as if she had realized that her daughter will play the game with her, at least she was hoping her little girl did understand and there wasn’t much time left, she already hears his footsteps on the stairs.

She went to her bedroom instantly listening to his heavy breathing, thinking of how awful it would feel, how his breath smells when he’ll kiss her. She wanted to puke right here and now. But she had to be brave, strong, for her little girl! Having him kiss her instead of her Riley was much better; having him hit her instead of her daughter as well. She realizes she was shaking and biting her lip nervously and for a brief second she asks herself where that brave girl was, she once had been.

But right then in that moment Thomas, her drunken husband, opened the door, freezing, realizing his wife was still up. “Veronica!” he said thickly approaching her.

Veronica backs away instantly: “Thomas you’re drunk! Again…”

The man in front of her just laughs, his green eyes piercing into hers: “A man can drink Veronica, I can drink whenever I want to, and I can kiss you whenever I want to, I can do whatever pleases me, whenever I want to, remember!” he was now standing right in front of her, leaving her – enclosed from the wall and him – no way to escape. He reeks of beer and smoke; she wonders how much he had drunk this evening, this time, how much it needs to turn him into this.

Thomas Arlington was a nice, hardworking man, a loving husband and father. At least he used to be! It was her fault he had changed that much, that he was an alcoholic now, an abusing husband and father. She had destroyed everything, that’s what he keeps telling her, that’s what she believes, even though that one mistake she had made, had given her more joy than everything else in her life and for nothing in the world she would want to go back in time. She loves her little girl!

Partly she knew that she wasn’t responsible for Thomas’ drinking problem and she started to hate him for the things he did say to her and to their daughter, for the beating and kicking, the bruises and knobs.

But there was still that other part left in her, the one that loved the man he used to be and wanted him back so badly. There was a part that blamed her, made her feel guilty and responsible for everything he did. She had tried to talk to him at times when he hadn’t been drinking, he had often admitted that he has a problem and after a long talk about the reasons he had promised to stop. He had promised they will become the family again they once had been…

But he never stopped, it just got worse as the months, years flew by…

Still Veronica couldn’t leave him, wanting to believe him every time he said he’d stop. She had cut down contact to all her former friends who had realized what was going on in her not so faultless home. She didn’t like them telling her what she was supposed to do, as she knew that what she was doing was not making any sense, that it was destroying her and that it was bad for Riley as well. But every time she had made up her mind and thought she was ready to leave him, her heart told her otherwise.

But last night he had definitely crossed a line. Now she wouldn’t stay any longer, not after what she had seen and she wouldn’t let him touch Riley ever again, she wouldn’t even let him get close to her… Thinking of the events of the other night she closes her eyes, smelling Thomas breath, feeling it on her face…

flashback
She had been thirsty and went down to the kitchen to get a glass of water. Thomas still wasn’t at home; at least that’s what she believed. When she passed by the room of her daughter she heard his voice though and her daughter crying. Fear shot through her veins and she opened the door to Riley’s room without making any noise. She hadn’t been able to believe what she saw then, and the things he did... It was horrible, too horrible… He had been all over her, holding her down to the bed, hissing words like bitch and… She didn’t even want to recall the words he had used for her daughter. He had slapped her, had touched her, kissed her brutally… A girl of for years, the girl who called him Daddy, how could one do such horrible things to his own daughter!

Veronica started shivering only by thinking of that night. It had only been yesterday but to see what he had done to Riley was what she needed to finally admit the truth: He would never stop drinking; he would never stop hurting her and especially never stop hurting their daughter!

As she now realized that he never looked at Riley that way, he never accepted her as his daughter even though he had promised her back when she was pregnant. The little girl always remembered him of her mistake, her unfaithfulness…