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A/N: A Repunsal Parody that defies logic, and anyone's sense of humor but mine. It'll probably go over everyone's head anyway.
So the less-than-pretty-pretty-more-of-a…well you get the point, could steal the pretty-pretty-princess-oni's Prince Charming.
But the (particularly sexy) Prince Charming was much smarter than that, and came to the bottom of the pretty-pretty-princess-oni's room in the highest tower of the…well you get the point.
And she would send down the long strands of hair attached to her fingers and he would climb them to the room in the highest tower of the highest castle. And the pretty-pretty-princess-oni would…
(Have hot monkey sex)
No, they would talk about their feelings and how they would run away together some day and live happily ever after since this is a fairytale and that's how it works.
"I'd be happier if the omniscient-third-person-narrator would quit sugar-coating everything," said the slightly annoyed pretty-pretty-princess-oni as she stroked Prince Charming's hair.
"Oi, Yura, I don't think the narrator cares what we want," Prince Charming (whose real name was Naraku and he was still extremely sexy) said waving a hand dismissively.
"Yeah, but, why don't I ever just use my hair to escape so we CAN live happily ever after instead of just talking about it?" the pretty-pretty-princess-oni asked curiously.
"Wanna try it?" Prince Charming asked looking at the little window.
"Yeah!"
And the pretty-pretty-princess-oni and Prince Charming ran away together and lived happily ever after and Prince Charming magically spawned lots of full-grown children because the pretty-pretty-Queen-oni didn't feel like going through the pains of childbirth or raising them herself. (Because stretch marks are so not fitting of a pretty-pretty-Queen-oni)
As for the less-than-pretty-pretty-more-of-a-just-pretty-stepmother? She found her Prince Not-So-Charming and they also lived less-than-but-more-or-less-happily-ever-after.