Nothing is Forever

Summary:Yamato and Taichi share a bond that exceeds friendship and challenges the boundaries of love. Their relationship appears to be indestructible, but cracks are starting to appear on the surface. Nothing is forever. Taito/ rape/drugs

D-Angel: So here we finally are... Final chapter, after just over three years (I think) of working on this story. It really does not feel like a month since my last update; I guess being in the Caribbean for 2 weeks can mess with ones mind! Here it is anyways... Partly written in Grenada... The final chapter of NiF!

Rating: M

Chapter 15

It was a day I remember almost vividly. Yamato stood there at my door pale and gaunt but looking as beautiful as ever. A small forced smile appeared on his face before I nodded stiffly and turned my head away. I knew I would have been unable to hold back my tears if I gazed into his comforting azure eyes. It had taken him a month in total, but finally he had phoned me and said that I deserved to see him.

The air was cool and crisp, the aroma of damp concrete was all I smelt when we walked side by side. A small groan escaped from Yamato's lips as he followed my gaze up to the ominous dark clouds looming above us. I knew we thinking the same thing- great weather. It appeared we also had the same location in mind. Odaiba Park was pratically empty, apart from a few teenaged couples, and middle aged people walking their dogs.

Yamato and I occasionally glanced at each other. The uneasy expression on his face caused a bubble of anxiety to swell in my stomach. We strolled around the lake and I started to silently reminisce about the times we had fooled about behind the trees. Yamato smiled briefly as he looked at one particular Sakura tree, which had seen things it could have lived without.

We sat down besides that tree in the end. Yamato stretched his legs out before slapping his hands against his thighs as if to say 'well, lets get down to business'. I wasn't sure how to start the conversation. For once in my life I was lost for words.

Yamato shrugged his shoulders then curled his legs towards his body. He hated heavy silences, especially around me. I watched as his eyes became fixed on a duck that was swimming across the lake. As I rifled through my brain for a conversation starter I was aware that time was of an essence; I had promised to do some shopping for my mum, and to phone Sora. Yamato probably had things to do too, though the way he was just gazing idly at a duck suggested otherwise.

When the duck had dunked its head under the water for a third time I took a small breath inwards.

"Did you hear about Sora?" I asked, finally breaking the ice. Yamato snapped out of his trance and raised an eyebrow in curiosity.

"What about her?"

I took a small breath in.

"She's pregnant..."

"Yeah, she told me a few days ago," Yamato admitted sheepishly. I had a gut feeling Yamato already knew, but at least we were talking.

"Shocking, ey?"

Yamato nodded. He drummed his fingers against his kneecaps for a little while. I watched the duck as a rough looking gang of geese approached it. They honked cruelly in his face then chased him as he swam off in the opposite direction.

"Look after Sora, ok?" Yamato said in a serious tone.

"Huh?"

What he said next was unexpected.

"I'm moving away- today. The flat's all packed up."

My heart skipped a beat.

"You're moving?" I repeated. Yamato nodded casually while he gazed up at the grey sky.

"My dad knows a place in the countryside; he's been thinking about moving there for quite some time- said he wanted us to be closer to Takeru."

Why hadn't he mentioned that before? I fell flat on my back- my mind went blank for a few moments while the bubble in my stomach expanded.

"At least now he'll be closer to my mum to keep an eye on her," Yamato said as he chewed on his lower lip. "She's already tried topping herself twice since Takeru's death."

There was barely a trace of apprehension in his voice. No surprise really.

I slowly sat back up when Yamato looked down at me with a still expression on his face. He was trying to lock away his feelings in that shell of his again, but I knew it wouldn't do him any good.

"What about you, Yama?"

A vacant look flashed in his eyes while he lowered his eye line to the grass he was subconsciously tugging out from the damp soil with one of his hands.

"My dad's throwing me into one of those rehab clinics," he quietly explained although I could still hear the anxiety present in his voice. I did sympathize with him, but I felt relieved that something was being done about his drug addiction. I knew that the hospital had kept him in for a few weeks, to help wean him off drugs- but there was obviously only so much help they could provide.

Eventually, Yamato stood up and I followed suit. It had become a lot darker- rain was definitely on the horizon. The Sakura tree's branches croaked painfully in the wind, like an old man struggling to climb of his rocking chair. Yamato's hand brushed against mine out of habit; our fingers almost entwined until we realised what was happening. We continued walking in silence although I had strange phantom-like twitches in my hand. I could in fact feel the soft warmth of Yamato's hand holding mine, despite he was trailing behind me by a couple of feet.

I stopped walking when we reached our special spot- the place where Haru had kissed me, and the only outdoor area where Yamato and I had made love. It felt like such a long time ago now. A small unintentional whimpering sound escaped from the depth of my throat as Yamato stood by my side.

"We had some good times," he said while I started to tremble. I really needed a cigarette, but I soon remembered, as I dug through my coat and jeans pockets, that I had left my only packet on my bedside table (such a horrible feeling).

Yamato leant against a tree and pulled a cigarette box out from his pocket.

"Want one?"

What a saviour I thought. I smiled and took one from the packet. Yamato smiled warmly then tugged a box of matches out from his jeans pocket.

"It's gonna be weird, living a life without you." Yama admitted as he struck a match against the box, successfully lighting it on the first attempt.

"You'll have to get used to it," I sighed as I slid the cigarette between my lips while Yamato lit his own cigarette. He then leant forward, the way he used to do whenever he went to kiss me, but all he did this time was use the burning end of his fag to ignite mine. One final kiss to say goodbye I mused.

"I'll never stop loving you, Chi," Yamato sighed as he ran his slim fingers through a few strands of his hair, while he partly shut his eyes. He then riskily placed a hand on my cheek, and this time I was the one who flinched.

"Please, don't," I uneasily whispered as I tilted my head away from his hand. I did feel bad as a look of hurt appeared in his eyes, but I knew that he didn't expect me to take him back after everything that had happened. He still managed to smile and gave me a small nod. I was shivering and my throat was gradually tightening while another awkward silence clouded over us.

Minutes later, Yamato stubbed his cigarette out on the tree trunk and chucked the butt onto the ground. Rain had started to spit down from the sky. I took one final drag on my cigarette before I threw it onto the grass and stamped on it.

"Lets head back," Yamato said.

We strolled side by side again, only this time all I could smell was Yamato's aftershave. We walked past Haru just as we were approaching the park's gates. He had a football clutched in his hands, which he dropped when he saw me with Yamato. I felt a little guilty, but I strictly told myself not to look back.

As Yamato and I were reaching our apartment block complex he turned his head to the side.

"Was I ever as obvious as Haru?"

I chuckled softly before elbowing Yamato in his ribs.

"You were worse."

Yamato half-smiled. I wondered if he was thinking about the first time we kissed. What a night that had been- I had almost forgot. We had stayed awake for just over six hours straight, groping and kissing. Fourteen years old, and no cracks in the foundation of our relationship. Now we had practically fallen apart- although it was apparent that some structure remained standing. It was a positive thought although I knew not to be naïve.

We reached our floor quicker than I had anticipated. I really wanted another cigarette as I stood by Yamato, who was opening his apartment door.

"Come in for a while," Yamato offered as he peered over his shoulder. I suddenly found myself blushing. He smiled and said in a warming voice that he wanted to play me a song. I hesitated for a minute, remembering what had happened the last time I had set foot into his apartment.

"It's safe," Yamato promised and in the end I followed him in.

Reality hit me square on when I saw the numerous amount of cardboard boxes piled up around the living room. This would be the last time we would ever be together in the place we had discovered our love for one another. Yamato disappeared into his room. I nervously tapped my fingernails against a sealed box as I waited. He returned several seconds later, cradling his electric guitar- not the metallic blue one (I later learnt he had sold it for drug money and regretted doing so afterwards)

We sat down on the carpet, where the sofa had once been before Yama started to strum his fingers gently against the strings of his guitar. I leant back against the wall and listened intently to the lyrics he sang.

'I felt for sure last night,
That once we said goodbye;
No one else will know these lonely dreams,
No one else will know that part of me.'

The melody was slow and calm, almost tranquil. Yamato shut his eyes as he continued to sing in a harmonious tone.

'I'm still driving away,
And I'm sorry every day.
I won't always love these selfish things
I won't always live not stopping'

His voice began to quiver a little, yet he still managed to maintain the hypnotic rift he was playing on his guitar. My eyes started to water.

'It was my turn to decide
I knew this was our time
No one else will have me like you do
No one else will have me, only you'

Yamato's guitar harmony faded out when he saw that I was crying. He placed his guitar down next to him then crawled opposite me. I squeezed my eyes shut when he planted a small kiss on my forehead. His affection made my body glow with a reassuring warmth, making me wish that things had turned out perfectly.

'You'll sit alone forever
If you wait for the right time
What are you hoping for?'

We walked to my apartment slowly, as if trying to delay what we knew would be our last few moments together for quite some time. I was reluctant to open my door, knowing that once I stepped into the apartment and closed the door Yamato would no longer be part of my life.

The time had come though.

He placed a hand on my shoulder, wishing me good luck as he desperately tried to hold back his tears.

"I'm truly sorry for everything," he sighed taking one final glance at my tear stained face. Then he turned around. Watching him walk away from me was one of the hardest things I had to endure, but I knew it was for the best.

The stress, the anxiety, they ended there. Of course things weren't perfect- they never are- but I was able to look forward since there was no point in wallowing over what could have been. People say that everything goes in full circle, that eventually things can revert back to way they once were. I never believed that. Nothing is forever, that was my philosophy. I thought I would never see Yamato again- too much water underneath the bridge. Things would have been too awkward.

However, Fate drew us together four years later, and although we had grown up and life had changed, neither of us were ready for it.

'I'm here I'm now I'm ready
Holding on tight,
Don't give away the end
The one thing that stays mine'

Song lyrics-

"23" by Jimmy Eat World

I love 23, tis one of my favourite Jimmy Eat World songs :) Next to Spangle anyways (an awesome cover song on their singles album! Go check it out)

D-Angel: Eugh, I hope the ending wasn't too bad! I tried my hardest not to make it sound too corny... Corny is not good. I really enjoyed writing this story, I hopes you guys have found a special place in your hearts for it too, or that you at least believe you didn't waste hours reading this. Lol.

Well, a sequel is in the making, although I can't confirm when it will be posted up because I really want to work on old stories, and a couple of new ones I started writing this year! Be on the look out... Keep checking my profile page for updates!

Thanks very much for reading, will appreciate your wonderful reviews :)

Bai bai for now!

Yamato and Taichi: Bai!

(Curtains fall down. Relieved sighs fill the air)

-D-Angel-

21/07/08 (I turn 20 in 8 more days! Eeep!)