"I do not make this decision lightly."

He sighed softly and tilted his head as he gazed out his window. Philadelphia possessed a wonderful evening view, especially in the location of Speed's apartment complex. The city lights graced the horizon, creating a contrast between where the night sky ended and the artificial glow began. On occasion, he could see the Liberty Bell, but only when the streets were not quite so crowded with pedestrians and motorists alike.

Tonight, it seemed, was not one of those nights, but then Speed really did not care. His thoughts remained on Trixie's announcement and on the advice he asked for and received from Ryan and Torie.

"Do what's best for you, Greg. It's your life, not theirs. No one can live your life for you. Whatever you decide, though, know we'll be behind you one hundred percent, okay? We'll always keep a position open for you."

The words Ryan and Torie had spoken to him was their way of saying "We don't want to see you leave, but we'll understand if you do." They were cool like that, and Speed doubted he would ever find another employer like the O'Connell/Cronkhite team. However, he also understood his sudden departure, if he returned like Sparky and Trixie said he could, would send the duo scrambling to find another waiter to take Speed place. Ruby's was constantly busy thanks to the lunch and dinner specials, even in the middle of the week, and the couple had placed the ad Speed answered to keep up with the demand. Leaving Ryan and Torie high and dry with no real explanation had Speed feeling sick to his stomach. They had taken a chance on him. He was not about to repay their kindness by leaving them in a lurch.

"In fact, it's with a heavy heart that I even say this, but . . . I'll be taking the next year off from racing."

His own words haunted him. He said he was taking a year off at that press conference, and he had held the press conference only because of the ultimatum given to him by the racing commission. Speed told them, and the world, he needed a break from racing and that his year off would allow him to re-focus on what was really important to him. At the time, his words were a little white lie, carefully chosen so his racing team would not suffer from his stubbornness. What would happen if he returned before the designated time? Would the world see him as a liar? Granted, his announcement had taken the press, and his fans, by surprise, and he knew they wanted to see him back on the track. However, his own life had thrown him for a loop. Did he even want to return to racing? After all, he liked his job at Ruby's, he liked his co-workers, and he liked his bosses. No one truly knew who he was, and it had been a very welcomed relief to not be mobbed by large groups of screaming, squealing fangirls. His words for requiring a year off no longer felt as false as when they had first been spoken.

Finally, as Speed gazed at the barely darkened sky of the Philadelphia horizon, he thought of something he had not been able to face since he started his racing career. What would he do if he could no longer race? Many things could happen on the track, events that no one could control and that could end a man's career. Some drivers lost their lives on the track, sometimes during practice and qualifying runs and sometimes during a race. Others were seriously injured in similar situations, their careers over in a single crash. While Speed had always been lucky, he understood his luck would not always hold out for him. Was he prepared for something slipping out of his realm of control and robbing him of the one thing he loved doing more than anything else?

The answer was 'no', he was not ready for his racing career to ever end. Racing was the one thing he knew how to do, what he loved to do, and what he wanted to die doing. The racing commission with its ultimatum had forced Speed to consider what his life would be like if he could no longer race, and what he was discovering was scary. He possessed no skills other than the ability to drive a car and listen. His entire world had centered on racing. It still did, but, now that he was aware of what could await him, Speed wanted to do something more than wait tables at the end of his career. The final question remaining was how was he going to accomplish what he wanted?

"Speed? Are you all right?"

He turned to face Trixie, smiling a little, and he nodded. At the same time, Speed wondered when she had approached, as he had not heard her walking up behind him. A light frown touched her features.

"Yeah, I'm fine," he replied. "Shouldn't you be asleep? I know it was a long flight from San Francisco to here."

"I couldn't sleep," she said, joining him next to the sliding window. "I was worried about you. I still am."

"I'm fine, Trix. Really."

"But you're not," Trixie murmured. "I can tell you. You had this strange look on your face when I told you the racing commission reversed its decision. I thought you would have been happy to hear that you could race again, but you weren't happy at all, Speed. Why is that?"

"I don't know," Speed replied. "I guess I just got used to the idea of having a year off. And I guess the commissioners were right. I really don't know what it's like to lose a race. I've always won at everything I've ever set out to do. Not everyone has been lucky like that. Maybe it's just time for me to be out of the spotlight for a while."

"Speed, that's just ridiculous! You won those races through hard work, talent, and skill!" Trixie retorted. "It isn't your fault that you're the best race car driver out there! Everyone else is just second-rate!"

"And how many of those drivers just quit trying to catch me?" Speed murmured, keeping his voice low. "You know how fast the Mach 5 is, Trixie. There are some people who would simply give up trying to catch me and beat me in a race. Some of them probably already have. Where's the thrill in that?"

"Then they don't deserve to be racing," Trixie said with some heat. "They're not real race car drivers. Not like you."

"They probably think the same thing about me, Trixie, that I'm not a real race car driver because I've never lost a race. I don't know what it's like to lose. They also probably think that I don't deserve to be racing. They're probably right, too."

"Since when did what other drivers think become important to you?" Trixie asked.

"Since I don't want to lose the thrill of racing," Speed replied quietly. "Where's the thrill if the competition simply gives up?"

"Racer X hasn't given up," the petite brunette pointed out.

'Because he's my brother,' Speed thought. 'He won't ever give up trying to beat me in a race. He's like me. He wants the competition to be real, the victory to be honest. He just hasn't realized it yet.'

"That's because Racer X is Racer X," he replied. "He's always looking for ways to improve his skills."

"You can do the same thing!"

"I know . . . but I don't think I'm ready to go back to racing just yet," he murmured. "I think . . . I want to stay here . . . in Philadelphia for a while . . ."

"And at that bar?"

"Yeah . . ." Speed slowly nodded. "I guess so. Ryan and Torie, they've become like family to me, you know?"

"Especially Torie?" Trixie asked, her tone leading. Speed resisted the urge to sigh and shake his head.

"There is no 'especially,' Trixie. She is so into Ryan, it isn't even funny. She doesn't even look at other guys like that. Watching them drove me crazy because I missed you so much. I wanted you here with me."

"Really?" Trixie sounded surprised and very relieved.

"Yeah. Really. Ryan and Torie like a brother and sister to me. That's all."

"I can relate to that," she said slowly. A smile started to replace her frown and her expression of indignation. "And I can see why would you feel that way, too."

"Can you?"

"Yes. Speed, I saw how they stood up for you tonight," Trixie said. "I also saw how concerned they were when you were talking with them after that whole Snake incident. They truly care about you. We all were."

"Yeah," Speed said, laughing a little. "I was afraid there was going to be a huge fight after you, Racer X, and Sparky got up. The last thing I wanted to see was you guys getting kicked out for brawling."

"Would they have really kicked us out?"

"They would," Speed confirmed, moving to sit on his couch. Trixie followed, and Speed leaned back his gaze on the ceiling. "Ryan and Torie don't tolerate things like that in their establishment. It really is a good place to work."

For a moment, Trixie watched him, her expression unreadable. She was not going to like what he was about to say next, and she seemed to anticipate what his words were going to be. She rested a hand on his arm.

"You're going to stay here, aren't you? With Ryan and Torie?"

Speed nodded his head slowly. His heart ached when he saw how sad she looked, but he knew there was not much for it. Life was offering him something different, and he wanted to see where this road in front of him was leading. He continued to stare at the ceiling.

"Yeah," he murmured. "I am. It's time I learned a few things, and I really like this place a lot. I can't leave them scrambling to find someone new. It's just not cool, you know?"

He heard Trixie sigh and sensed her shaking her head more than he saw it.

"You're a stubborn man, Speed Racer," she exclaimed, keeping her voice quiet. "But I love you anyway. I'll see what I can do about joining you."

"Won't that leave your boss scrambling to find a new pilot?" he asked. The ache in his heart grew with a decision he knew he could not make on his own. He only hoped he and Trixie could remain as friends once he made his suggestion.

"I can always train another person, Speed," Trixie said. "They really don't need me . . ."

"Actually, I think they do," Speed murmured. "If they hadn't needed you as badly as they did, they wouldn't have hired you, Trix."

"I know, and I know it'd take me longer than two weeks to train someone . . ."

At this, Speed sat up and turned to face her. He shook his head, silencing her.

"I don't want you to do that," he said. "I don't want you to give up something you're enjoying because of me. You like what you're doing, and you've made new friends out there. I know you have. You've talked about them. I can't ask you to leave them like that, not when I can't leave Philadelphia like that. It's just wrong."

"Speed, it's no big . . ." Her words trailed off, and she lowered her head. "I want to be with you . . ."

"I know, Trix," Speed murmured. "Believe me, I know, I love you, and I want to be with you, too. But I think . . . I think we need to live out what it is we're doing, and see where things take us. This whole thing with the racing commission, it happened for a reason."

"What are you saying?"

"I'm saying," Speed inhaled a little then continued. All the while, he hated himself. "I'm saying we should be friends for now, and see where our lives take us. We're in two different cities right now for whatever reasons, and we're working jobs that we enjoy very, very much. I know you like what you're doing. You always have enjoyed flying a helicopter more than driving. I can't, and I won't, ask you to give that up."

"You're such a jerk," Trixie muttered, pulling away from him. Tears were spilling down her cheeks.

"Trixie . . ." Speed started to reach for her.

"But you're right."

He paused. Slowly, she lifted her head.

"You're right," she continued. "A part of me doesn't want to leave San Francisco. I do like it there. I just wish we could go back to how things were."

"We can't, though," he said, his tone quiet. "I don't want to pretend this part of my life never existed or happened. It wouldn't be right to the people we've met and turned into friends and family."

"I know," she said with a sigh. "I know . . . It's just . . . this hurts."

"I don't want to hurt you, Trixie."

"How long?"

"How long what?" Speed blinked.

"How long ago did you decide you wanted us to be friends for right now?" she asked. Trixie wiped away some of her tears.

"Since you and Sparky showed up at Ruby's tonight," Speed replied. "I mean, you seemed really happy when you told me the racing commission relented and said I could race again, but it just didn't seem . . . right, I guess. When we talked before on the phone, you were always talking about your friends and how well your job was going. It made me wonder if you really wanted to leave all of that behind."

"I never really thought about it . . ."

Speed walked over and wrapped his arms around her. Trixie leaned against him as he did, and she let out another sigh.

"This is then, isn't it?" she murmured. "This is . . . goodbye . . ."

"No," Speed said. "It isn't goodbye . . . we're not ending anything."

"Then what are we doing, Speed? If we're not saying goodbye, then what are we saying?"

"We're starting something new, Trixie, and we're saying hello to whatever the future has in store for us."