Chapter Nineteen

Elli Cole

I love you.

Did he love her too?

He wanted to say he did… he desperately wanted to think so. But it wouldn’t be right. Because he only liked her and quite possibly, only lusted over her. Syaoran didn’t want to seem that he only went after her for her body. He liked her for her wit, for her charm, for her beauty but… it wasn’t the reasons why he should be in love with her.

Eriol was right.

It was hard not to fall for Kinomoto…

But how would he know?

Syaoran gritted his teeth as he watched the slumbering form of the auburn-haired card mistress before him. It had been a while since they had any trouble with the cards. It was almost a discomfort for him. Was there something going to happen? Was there something waiting just for the right time to strike?

“Syao—”

Syaoran’s hearing perked up. He looked at the emerald eyes that contrasted against his amber ones. “Sakura?”

Sakura drowsily rubbed her eyes and peered at him. “What—what happened?”

Syaoran turned away nonchalantly. “You lost consciousness.”

“That part is obvious,” Sakura wryly muttered under her breath. She looked at him curiously. “But—I really don’t remember anything.”

Syaoran smiled softly. “It’s better that way, Kinomoto…” He murmured. “Trust me.”

“Huh?”

“Oh, nothing.”

Sakura glanced around confusedly. “Where are we?”

“My room.”

“You changed it.”

“Yeah…”

Silence befell between them. Sakura bowed her head and whispered softly, “Syaoran—”

He peered at her, a blank expression spread across his face. He hoped she didn’t remember what she said last night. He hoped she would forget. He hoped—

She smiled at him and her bright green eyes glistened at the morning sun’s rays.

Syaoran looked away.

He doesn’t know what he really wanted.

And he doesn’t know if he was going to be okay if he let her go.

“I have to go home,” she said confidently. “Is—is that okay?”

But he knew it was the right thing to do.

So he nodded his head and let her walk away. It was the right thing to do, that was what he kept telling himself. But the restriction around his heart was telling him otherwise. The light that surrounded him seemed to hurt his skin and his eyes seemed to stay shut. Images of Sakura plagued his mind and his emotions and thoughts started to become jumbled up.

Confusion settled in.

Did he love her?

oOo

“Sakura!”

Tomoyo’s voice reached her ears as soon as she entered her room tiredly. She weakly smiled. “Hey Tomoyo.”

Her dark-haired friend grinned back. “What did Syaoran say?”

Sakura tilted her head to the side. “Say about what?”

Tomoyo rolled her eyes playfully. “When you told him you loved him!”

“When I told him—I—” Sakura trailed off. She inwardly cursed at herself as she scowled. “I—forgot.”

“Sakura!” Tomoyo’s screech resonated throughout Sakura’s room. “What were you thinking?”

“Clearly,” Sakura’s annoyed response came, “I wasn’t thinking.”

“Damn right you weren’t!” Tomoyo screeched. Sakura jumped back from the angry ambiance Tomoyo started to emit. She was sweet, innocent Tomoyo. Sakura never assumed that—

“Sorry,” Sakura murmured. “I—I was nervous.”

Tomoyo’s expression softened. “Sakura…”

“Tomoyo… I…”

“Kaijuu!”

oOo

“Kaijuu!”

Syaoran’s eye twitched.

“I didn’t know that monkeys can scream that loud,” Syaoran insulted dryly. “Or else, I would’ve brought earplugs.”

Touya gave him a scathing look. “If my sister didn’t protect you like she do I would’ve…”

“Touya?”

Sakura took quick steps down the stairs and paused half way as she asked obliviously, “what do you want now?”

She looked up and saw Syaoran’s expectant face. A small smile was touched upon his lips and he nodded his head at her in acknowledgment.

Touya gritted his teeth. “This baka wanted to see you.”

Sakura strained a smile. “Syaoran…”

Syaoran looked at Touya’s angered form wearily and looked at her slightly defeated. “Do you want to take a quick walk with me?”

Sakura instantly agreed as Touya began his chain of curses.

They ran out, laughing, before Touya had the chance to lock the door in panic. Sakura squealed in delight as they stopped in a certain distance away from her home. She looked at Syaoran with a crazed, flushed look and grinned widely at him.

“That was fun,” she laughed. “You should whisk me away from Touya’s grasp more often.”

Syaoran smiled at her and gave her a small chuckle of his own. “I would… if I could.”

Sakura whipped her head towards him in confusion and halted on her steps. “If you could?”

“Sakura…” Syaoran started. “I—I can’t love you.”

Reality harshly crashed down on Sakura and she couldn’t think. She wouldn’t think. She couldn’t understand him. Why? She wanted to ask him so desperately but the word wouldn’t pass her lips. She was frozen on her spot and her lips were sewn shut.

Syaoran’s eyes glittered lightly in the cold evening. “I have to go back to Hong Kong in a few weeks.”

Sakura turned her head slightly away from him and forced her lips to move. “I love you.”

“Sakura,” Syaoran took a step closer towards her. “Please try and understand.”

“I love you.”

“Sakura…”

“Syaoran,” Sakura turned her eyes towards him, eyes glistening. “I love you.”

Syaoran ran his fingers through his hair and looked down. “Our contract is done. You’re free.”

Sakura let her tears fall freely.

“I love you.”

Syaoran turned his back on her. “I’ll see you at school.”

He walked away and left Sakura on her knees, tears not halting.

oOo

Sunlight emerged from behind the blinds and passed through Sakura’s eyelids. She moved uncomfortably in her bed and opened her eyes gradually. It was the dreaded morning wherein she will finally see Syaoran after the nights before. She frowned.

“Get up, kaijuu,” Touya’s voice rang through the house. “You’ll be late for school.”

And she can smell the waft of her father’s cooking. A little smile appeared on her face. She just had to be positive for today. Syaoran was just Syaoran. She loved him but he doesn’t control her in any way. She didn’t need him to live.

She didn’t need him.

She stood up from her bed and entered her bathroom. She took a glimpse of herself on the mirror and saw her tired reflection staring back at her. Dark bags appeared under her eyes and her hair was tousled. She frowned.

“What’s happening with me?”

oOo

“Ohayou,” Hatake greeted the class with a small frown. They greeted back in a throng of choruses. He looked around the room and saw two empty seats. He sighed. “It seems that I’ve taken news about Li-san’s whereabouts from the principal.”

The class waited in silence for his next words.

“It seems that he’s off to Hong Kong in a few weeks so we won’t see him as much in the school.”

A small gasp escaped the crowd.

“Yes…” He murmured as he heard footsteps echo from across the hall. He gave out a tired sigh. “I know.”

“Ohayou!” The door to the classroom slid open and a panting Sakura gave him a sheepish look. “Sorry, sensei.”

“Sakura,” Hatake gave her a soft smile. “Please, take a seat.”

Sakura looked at him quizzically but nodded her head, nonetheless. She made her way towards her table and looked at Syaoran’s empty seat. She turned to Tomoyo’s side and she quickly avoided Sakura’s gaze.

Sakura frowned.

What happened?

oOo

“Young Master,” a voice evidently aged in experience and time echoed inside the mansion. “Young Master?”

“Wei?”

Syaoran appeared from behind the door of his bedroom. He looked down the stairs and saw his faithful butler smiling at him. Syaoran smiled back and quickly opened his door. He ran down the stairs and greeted Wei with a large grin.

“I’m glad you’re here!” Syaoran said as he gave Wei a gentle pat on the shoulder. “How’s the clan?”

“Waiting for your arrival as we speak,” Wei said politely. “Are your suitcases prepared to be carried out, Young Master?”

“Yeah…” Syaoran’s voice faltered. “But before that… can we drop something off to a nearby house?”

Wei raised a curious brow but nodded his head at Syaoran’s request. “Of course, sir.”

oOo

“From Li Syaoran, you say?” Fujitaka asked with a smile. “I’ll be sure to give it to her as soon as she arrives.”

“Thank you, sir.” Syaoran bowed his head courteously. “Goodbye.”

Fujitaka’s lips curved downward as he watched Syaoran’s retreating figure, a box covered in cherry blossom wrappings held in his hands. “Goodbye.”

oOo

Sakura’s eyes bulged wide open at her father’s words.

“What?”

“Your boyfriend came over to drop a gift for you,” Fujitaka chuckled. “It’s on your bed.”

“Papa!” Sakura shook her head in denial. “He is not my boyfriend!”

Touya appeared from the kitchen with a scowl on his face. “Who is? That gaki?”

Sakura narrowed her eyes at him. “Syaoran is not my boyfriend!”

“If he is or not,” Fujitaka waved the tense ambiance away. “He left you a gift, Sakura.”

Sakura blushed as she felt the stares of her father and brother. She hastily excused herself as she ran up the stairs and into her room. She rested her back against the wooden door of her room as she stared at the carefully wrapped gift on her bed.

A smile started to creep on her face.

Syaoran.

He gave her a gift.

For her and only her.

Does that mean that he was telling her he loved her back? Was this his plan?

She took her time as she gradually walked closer to her bed. She took a seat at the side of the bed and it dipped down as her weight rested on the plush mattress. She reached out for the gift and opened it.

She stilled.

A dress of pale pink and white rested inside the box with a note attached to it. A rose was at the side with a drawing of her tied to the tip. She shakily held the note in her hands and raised it to eye-level.

Sakura,

Wear this when I come back.

Syaoran.

She was confused.

Back from where?

She then noticed the drawing again and she gently held it. It was uncannily drawn like her. She smiled at it and noticed some writing at the back. She flipped it over and froze.

These were the words she was waiting for to hear from him.

I love you.

Tears were materializing from the tips of her eyes when her phone rang. She clutched the drawing firmly in her hand as she took the phone from its cradle and put it against her ear.

“Moshi moshi?”

“Sakura…” Tomoyo’s worried voice echoed from the other end of the earpiece. “Are you alright?”

Sakura smiled. “Better than ever.”

A moment of silence reigned.

“You’re over Syaoran, then?”

Over?

“Over what?”

“Syaoran,” Tomoyo’s voice was soft. “He left early for Hong Kong today. Hatake-sensei told us it’ll be in a few weeks but Eriol told me it was today.”

Sakura’s eyes widened as tears freely fell.

“Didn’t he bid you goodbye?”

… He told me he loved me through writing.

Wasn’t that the same as telling me he wasn’t going to leave my side?

“He told me he loved me,” Sakura murmured. “But he didn’t say goodbye.”

oOo

End Note: A different kind of ending. Epilogue will be up in a matter of days. PLEASE REVIEW!