Shattered Minds

Chapter 20

Disclaimer: I do not own any part of Naruto.

Author’s Note:

Told ya all that this chapter would come out a lot faster! Anyway, thanks to all the people who reviewed (as always!). You guys really make my day with every comment, and I write a lot faster for it. Also, I’d like to say a SUPER!thank you to 777777, SorceressMyr, and Nadja-Neko for making beautiful fanart and doujinshi (the links are at my profile), which were probably the best incentives I’ve received this entire run. You two are amazingly talented and truly awesome for taking time to draw for moi!

In this chapter... The secret comes out and some realizations come rolling in. ENJOY!

‘What will become of me?’

She asks the night sky.

‘What will become of us?’

Talking to a silent moon

Sakura let her rose-colored hair be pulled and brushed and twisted and pinned as she stared at the empty space in front of her. The silver kimono Ino had picked out for her to wear lay folded in its box, the shimmery threads reflecting light and color like a polished opal. The design suggested of frigid winds and smooth-flowing water. Swirls of ash-colored threads wove in and out around the matching obi.

She still did not know what she was to do after her mission was complete. In their earlier meeting Itachi insinuated that he would not mind telling her the secret of the Mangekyo at all. Rather, he seemed to know of her goal before she had even made any advances towards it.

There was little doubt in her mind that she would have the information soon. However, that didn’t stop her from wanting to know exactly why he was so calm and nonchalant about it. Any ordinary man would be reluctant, to say the least, to openly speak of his weakness.

Then again, no ordinary man would have murdered his entire family, save his younger brother, either.

Once again she reminded herself that Itachi was dangerous, this entire mission was dangerous. Her feelings about Sasuke were dangerous.

She exhaled slowly, turning around slowly as Ino silently opened the makeup box to transform her face. For the past half hour neither of them had spoken, each in their own reverie.

Ino broke the quiet first. “I don’t know why exactly Itachi would call you so soon, but there’s something about the situation that makes me uncomfortable.” She looked up from mixing the white cream that would cover Sakura’s face. “Do you think anything’s happened?”

“What do you mean?” Sakura was careful not to let the expression on her face change.

Ino grimaced slightly. “It’s just questionable. Why he’s calling you back so soon. You don’t think that he knows anything, do you?”

Sakura attempted to smile without moving her forehead, where Ino was carefully spreading the white base. “I don’t think so.”

She didn’t know why exactly she lied. All she knew was that she didn’t want to worry Ino, and that she wanted, for whatever reason, to keep her suspicions to herself. Not even Sasuke would know exactly how deep she had gotten.

Still looking troubled, Ino clamped her mouth shut and continued her work. Sakura now knew why Ino had decided to offer to do her makeup and help her dress instead of telling her to ask a fellow geisha. Their friendship, though amiable from the start, had progressed to something so much stronger.

“Ino... I know you’re worried. But I’m a big girl now.” She laughed, then sobered up again. “I mean, I took this onto myself.” Sakura closed her eyes and allowed dark liner to be traced over her lashes.

She heard Ino heave a sigh. “Sometimes I think that this is just a game,” she continued. “But then I have to keep reminding myself that it’s more than that. I knew there were going to be risks from the beginning, you know?” She opened her eyes again and watched Ino, whose bent head and furrowed brow more than told her that the other girl was still worried. “Please don’t worry about me,” she pleaded.

Ino looked up and smiled weakly. “You’re right. You can do this. I don’t know why I’m being like this.” She looked heavenward and dramatically dabbed the corners of her eyes with her sleeve, where a few tears really had gathered. She sniffed comically. “I feel like a mother bird pushing her chick out of the nest.”

Sakura laughed. “Thanks.”

Ino motioned for Sakura to rise as she herself walked over and picked up the kimono. As the apprentice maiko was already dressed in the white under-robe, there was little to do than drape over the additional layers. Ino’s deft fingers pulled and adjusted, then wrapped and tied the dusk-colored obi into a perfect butterfly knot.

As Sakura looked into the mirror and at her finished self, she was once again struck with how much her face could change from simple to striking with simple cosmetics and her presence from girl to dignified geisha with a luxurious kimono. Ino had given her smoky eyes and understated red lips, had tied the obi so her figure seemed flawless.

“Hubris,” Ino teased lightly. “Vain, much?”

Sakura wrinkled her nose and stuck her tongue out at Ino’s reflection in the mirror. “Is it almost time to go?” she asked.

Ino thoughtfully nodded. “Probably. One of the maids will announce the arrival of the carriage, so all you need to do now is wait and not mess up your makeup.”

Her ears pricked up at the delicate padding of feet coming towards them. “Well, speak of the devil,” Ino commented. She voiced acquiescence when the maid relayed the affirmed message. “Time to go, Sakura.”

The pink haired girl resolutely nodded and began following Ino out of the room. She had a feeling in the pit of her stomach that tonight... Tonight something would happen.

The entrance to the manor hall was no less impressive the second time, Sakura decided as she stepped foot into the grand room. And like last time, there was seemingly no one in the room.

Calming her fluttering hands by smoothing out wrinkles in the kimono, Sakura carefully let her eyes dart around the room. She half expected Itachi to appear out of no one and catch her unawares again.

“Sakura-san.” A feminine voice caught Sakura’s attention and she looked up again to see a young maid dressed in dark grey. “Itachi-sama will be with you shortly. He asks that you make yourself comfortable.”

“Oh! Thank you,” Sakura smiled. For a moment she didn’t know what to expect. Was the girl there merely to relay the message, or was she a spy of some sort? Her heart jittered uncomfortably from one delusion to another.

“Shall I bring tea, Sakura-san?” The maid’s hands gestured towards the table she had sat at–could it be?–just a night ago.

Sakura nodded, for a moment uncertain. She hadn’t been in Dream long enough or received enough training to know what to do when the host was missing. Would it be considered rude if she merely sat? Fervently hoping Itachi wasn’t a stickler for traditions and manners, she nodded towards the girl, murmuring her thanks as she watched the girl disappear.

She didn’t have to wait long for the tea to arrive. As the girl set down the tray silently and Sakura prepared to reach for the teapot, Itachi appeared.

He was dressed in black robes so reminiscent of Sasuke’s that Sakura fought to keep from distracting herself with thoughts of him. His dark hair was tied back neatly and his face was smoothly collected. He gave the barest of nods to the maid as she backed away again.

Itachi bowed slightly to Sakura as the girl prepared to rise. “Please, Sakura-san. No need for all these formalities.” The corners of his pale lips rose slightly. “Forgive me for calling you so soon after our previous visits. I hope I did not interrupt any previously set engagements.”

Sakura smiled slowly in return. “There was no trouble, Itachi-san. It was an honor to return to you so soon.”

Strangely enough, much of her nervousness had faded with the arrival of her supposed enemy. Any pressure she might have felt earlier melted away as she focused single mindedly on Itachi.

He seated himself in a manner so fluid she wondered for a moment if he had taken lessons from Ino. He paused to stare at her for a moment, so long that she realized that she had forgotten to pour the tea.

“If I may?” She reached hesitantly for the tray, which he gently pushed towards her. She looked up him shyly as she lifted her arm to pour the tea. “May I inquire why you asked for my services tonight, Itachi-san?” After her alarmingly rude behavior the night before, Sakura felt shamed enough to resort back to geisha politeness.

His red eyes were really quite unarming, she decided as she delicately gestured towards the filled cups. Itachi took his time taking a sip before setting the cup down and staring at her intently again.

“I wanted to talk to you about my brother.”

And with that, Sakura knew that her earlier hunch had been altogether too right.

If there was anything he wasn’t, it was rash.

Why then, he asked himself, was he rushing into this... relationship... of sorts, with this girl? How dare he start thinking about where they could go after this had all gone over? How could he possibly think about a life after this? It just wasn’t supposed to be this way.

Hell, nothing was supposed to be this way. If Itachi hadn’t betrayed the Uchiha, then he would have a normal life. He might have stayed in Fire Country, might have become ANBU or into the force like his father. And they would all be alive.

He clenched his fist too tightly. There he was again, thinking about what could have been. ‘It happened. And that is why you have to kill Itachi.’

He was being naive if he thought there would be a life after this. He would drop her off at a safe village as he had agreed to do and stay out of her life forever, because that was the only thing he could do. What happened to him after Itachi didn’t matter.

All that mattered, he reminded himself again and again, was that that man would die.

What happened to Haruno Sakura after this was no business of his.

Sakura fought between wanting to know exactly what have driven Itachi to kill his family and retaining her facade. She knew that it was only a matter of time before the mask she had crafted so hurriedly would fall of, and the truth would be revealed. Still, it didn’t stop her from clinging onto the safety of the lie.

“What is it that you would like to talk about?” she asked, keeping her face as impassive as his.

Itachi’s eyes were unblinking, the commas unnerving and still. “I understand you met my brother at a brothel house.”

Suddenly defensive, Sakura felt herself grimace slightly in discomfort. “How we met should have nothing to do with what he has to do with you, Itachi-san.” She forced her eyes up to meet his.

“It is nothing against you, I assure you, Sakura-san.” He stopped. “In fact... To see you make this amount of progress is rather stunning.”

“Thank you,” she said stiffly before adding an afterthought “And yes, we did.”

“You never answered me last night why you were doing this for Sasuke,” Itachi reminded softly as he swirled the broken tea leaves at the bottom of his cup. “Does it have anything to do with how you met?”

Sakura forced her voice to be polished and collected. There would be no good in angering Itachi, no matter how impassive he seemed to act. “Yes. He bought my freedom.”

Itachi nodded. “I see. Generous...” He smiled slightly as she refilled his cup. “He thought you would make a good spy,” Itachi reiterated. His lips curved up higher, revealed rather sharp, white canines so that the smile turned into something more terrifying than a leer. “He doesn’t care much for your safety, does he?”

“I beg your pardon?” The words slipped without thinking.

She received no answer in return, just a mere nod.

Sakura wanted, all of a sudden, to jump up and defend Sasuke. How he had cared for her. She wanted to tell him of all the things he had done to protect her, of the dagger tucked within her obi should things go terribly wrong.

Because Itachi was too twisted. The silence which permeated everything, even their conversations, caused her mind to go overboard even when she thought she was in control.

“I do not know what Sasuke-san thinks,” Sakura carefully worded. “All I know is that he asked for a task to be completed in exchange for something that is valuable to me.” She paused for a moment. “How dangerous the task actually is depends entirely on who’s talking, don’t you agree?”

She knew her sauciness could cost her later but had still decided to take the risk. If Itachi took the bait and allowed his pride to lead his tongue, it could all work out to her advantage. As long as she kept the wheel spinning, sooner or later she would have her reward.

Itachi set down his cup lightly, but before he could open his mouth to ask his next question, Sakura interrupted him.

“May I ask why you did it?”

He leaned back just the slightest bit before moving close again. “I’m sorry?”

Sakura knew that his inquiry was just his way of allowing her think again before asking her real question. He thought he was being merciful and sparing her from an awkward moment that could lead to her demise. What he didn’t know was that Sakura was far past desperation and wanted the secret to the Mangekyo now.

“Why did you kill your family?”

Itachi looked at her blankly. “Is an explanation really in question, Sakura-san?”

She smiled sweetly. “Indulge me.”

In a sudden movement Itachi was standing up, facing her with the table between them. He walked a slight perimeter of the room before looking at her again with his crimson eyes. “I did it for Sasuke,” he finally said. Either he was an amazing actor or he was truly distressed–either he was playing her along or she now had the upper hand.

Sakura could barely contain the shock within her face. “For Sasuke?”

That drew a soft chuckle from the older man. “Yes, for Sasuke.”

“How does... Why... How does that possibly... How could that possibly be for Sasuke’s benefit?” She stumbled over her words as she fought to communicate in a non-accusatory manner.

“Some people need motivation to reach their full potential,” Itachi started. “And inspiration comes in all forms. Hatred, in particular.” He paused before continuing. “I assure you, Sakura-san, that without me Sasuke would not be as he is today.”

She felt faint. She honestly did. For someone to... For someone to murder their entire family to motivate anyone was just sick. She fought, so hard, to keep herself from rising up in anger and yelling at him.

He had to be insane.

It was the only logical explanation she could possibly draw.

Itachi waited in silence for Sakura to find her tongue again. He had been waiting for the question, of course. But he had not expected the girl to have the courage–or lack the brains–to ask so tactlessly and so soon. And his truthful answer, it seemed, was not what she wanted to hear.

“You... You know that Sasuke wants to kill you, though, right?” Her voice was weak with strain.

“Of course.” Itachi’s voice was cool, as if he were merely confirming his name, or age, or some other mundane fact. Sakura didn’t know how he did it.

Sakura twisted an edge of a sleeve between her fingers. “How can you be fine with this?”

“The same way you could be fine with sleeping with men for money, and the same way Sasuke has become fine with killing others for his livelihood.” Itachi walked towards her again, his words silencing her further questions.

As he sat down next to her again, Sakura couldn’t help but feel a peculiar sense of foreboding. He leaned close to her–a little too close for comfort, she realized too late–and whispered gently in her ear.

“Why did my brother send you, Sakura?”

Sakura felt shivers rise up and down her back and fought not to shudder in revulsion and fear. Orochimaru might be disgusting, she thought to herself, but Itachi... Itachi was honestly evil. Too careful to be caught and too cunning to be safe, he was one person she would be happy to never have to see again.

“To learn... To learn...”

“Go on.” His words were melting silk, encouraging almost.

“To learn the secret of the Mangekyo Sharingan,” she finally whispered out, closing her eyes.

There was a heavy moment of silence as Sakura scarcely dared to breathe. In an adrenaline-filled moment she feared that he would kill her.

A chuckle–a true laugh–caused her to open her eyes again. Itachi was... laughing. His head was thrown back slightly and his eyes were closed in mirth. Sakura thought him more unstable than she had the moments before.

Almost as suddenly as he started laughing he stopped. He leaned back and studied her face again, expression once again unreadable. “The secret to the Mangekyo, Sakura, is simple. My brother wants to know how to attain it. You can tell him...” The commas in his eyes spin wildly. “That the wielder simply has to kill the one he holds most dear to his heart.”

Somehow she found herself back on the carriage again after stumbling madly through niceties with Itachi. He had been cordial once more after telling her exactly what she wanted to hear and had walked her to her carriage soon afterwards.

Confused as she was about how he was simply letting her go, Sakura couldn’t stop from reeling from all that she had heard and achieved in the last few hours.

Itachi was a madman.

Sasuke was a victim to a senseless plot.

She had the key to her freedom.

Now she wondered exactly what the Mangekyo was. What... weapon, maybe? What weapon could only be achieved through the death of the one most dear? And did Itachi have it? Or was it the only way that he could be destroyed? There were so many questions and she knew that unlike when she was with Itachi, there was no way she could ask all–and expect them to be answered–with Sasuke.

And now that she knew this secret, she would finally be free. What would she really do now? She cared for Sasuke so much... And Ino was now closer than family to her. She knew that with Itachi constantly around there was no way she could stay in Dream. However, there was a dull ache in her chest when she thought about never seeing Sasuke again, too.

The carriage rolled to a stop before she could compose an entire inquiry to Sasuke about her future. She stepped out silently, looking hesitantly towards the lights shining through the windows. It was early yet, but she couldn’t bear to face anyone right now. She had to think about... everything.

Waving the driver off, she waited until he was out of site before creeping towards the gate that Sasuke had helped her jump the night before. She didn’t have his physical prowess, she admitted, but the lock looked so old and rusty that she wasn’t too surprised when she was able to wiggle it clean open.

She closed the gate before turning and nimbly walking towards her room. It was a warm night and she was confidant that the shutters would be open. She smiled delightedly as she found her beliefs confirmed and hoisted herself over the window sill with as much grace as possible.

She was in the process of dusting herself off when a voice shocked her almost straight out of the window again.

“What are you doing?”

Even though she recognized it as Sasuke, she still couldn’t stop her heart from pounding so hard she thought it would jump out. “I’m getting into my room,” she nervously explained. “I didn’t want to talk to anyone outside, so I decided to take a leaf out of your book and...” She trailed on before finally getting to the point. “I saw Itachi tonight again.” Shocked by his sudden presence, the words slipped out of her mouth before she could finish organizing her own thoughts on the fruits of her visit tonight.

Sasuke’s eyes gleamed as red as his brother’s as he swept forward and grasped her by the forearms. His touch was hard and unforgiving. “What happened?”

His gaze was so intense she had a hard time holding it. She fought to bury her face into his chest because she knew that the moment she let out the truth, nothing would be the same again.

She might not have been truly free around him, but Sakura knew that without him she wouldn’t feel it even if she was.

She wasn’t just grateful to him for rescuing her, she realized a little belatedly. She truly, honestly cared about him. And she wanted to be with him, even if it meant giving up her freedom.

“Sakura,” he prodded, shaking her just the slightest bit and completely oblivious to her thoughts and worries and revelations.

She took a deep breath and tried to smile. “I found out the secret of the Mangekyo.”

Ending Note: BOOOO! WE WANT TO KNOW WHAT HAPPENS NEXT! WHAT A BAD CLIFFHANGER!!! YOU SUCK!!!

I know, I know. I’m amazing with my mind reading (–grin–). Just kidding, but we really must end this chapter. Just wait to the next one! We’re really winding down here. Only one or two more chapters to go, and that’s just plain scary. The next chapter will be romantic and angsty and all that other good stuff.

Until then, have fun and see you next time!

(Did I mention that “next time” comes a lot faster with feedback?)