|Afraid To Lose Again
Author: finalitylife PM
Raven stumbles on to Robin having a private conversation with himself and finds out some things she never even imagined. RobRaeEpilogue posted: Now and Forever.Rated: Fiction T - English - Angst/Romance - Robin & Raven - Chapters: 4 - Words: 9,729 - Reviews: 52 - Favs: 45 - Follows: 10 - Updated: 09-06-05 - Published: 06-23-05 - Status: Complete - id: 2451658
|A+ A- Full 3/4 1/2 Expand Tighten|
1A/N: Why I wrote this, I do not know. Is it good, I think so. This story assumed The End happened mostly the way it did. This goes out to anybody who read this story when I wrote it back at the end of June, anyone who has ever said a kind work about my writing, anyone who has ever reviewed and anyone who has ever made me smile one way or another because something things are simply beyond words to explain though never any less appreciated. Peace.
Afraid to Lose Again
The bright sunny day found no way to penetrate the never-ending gloom that seemed to sit over the cemetery at the edge of Jump City. It was an old, gothic place, the first body put to eternal rest there when the city was just a small town. Large crypts and statues decorated the grey, lifeless landscape, the place representing the truest sense of foreboding. The cemetery was almost no longer used and even less visited as most of the permanent resident's had died long ago, those who lost them either passed away themselves or were long gone from the city, pursuing the remaining life somewhere else. However, one month ago, one last person was allowed this place as a final resting spot by special request of the cities greatest residence ever. He knew that she would have liked to be laid to rest somewhere private, somewhere with an eerie peacefulness that she would have loved to mediate in. Where this place would have been creepy to most, to her it would have simply represented the natural order of life, defining the end that all mortal beings had to face eventually. She always did look at things so logically. The lone visitor who glided through the cemetery like some type of phantom smiled to himself. Always so logical except when it came to him, always so controlled except when they were together.
Eventually, the grey haired man found his way to the grave he had come to every day for the past month. Normally he would simply stare at it for a few minutes, say a small prayer, before again disappearing into the night, the night that had always welcomed both him and her. However today, something refused to let him walk away from that spot, something compelled him to stand there, soaking in everything around him. He knew exactly what the simply, granite tombstone had on it as he had been the one to design it. It was intentionally plain as he knew she would have wanted it that way. She had never been flashy or obvious about things. It was her way and he loved her for it all the same. In the top center engraved was a bird with full outstretched wings as if it was flying completely free through the sky. Below it toward the middle was a single name, no last name as the truth of it could still potentially endanger the old man who stood in front of the grave. However, the first name did not need a last. By itself, it had its own powerful presence that would stand forever. Below the name was a short inscription, one he knew all to well. She had made the same promise to him everyday since the first time they had revealed their love, had basked in the true reality of it all.
"I'm never going to leave your side, not now, not ever."
The old man let out a deep sigh. He recalled the one time she had almost broke that promise, the one time she had nearly shattered his entire being though she did it to try and save him as well as all of her family. She had left him when the prophecy finally came into being, when her Father finally returned to the world of mortals. He remembered the devastating numbness that overwhelmed his entire body when the realization hit that day that she was gone and the glimmer of hope that returned when he saw that raven overhead. It lead him to his friends but not the one who held his heart and soul. His journey to find her was just beginning at that moment, his journey to make her keep her promise only starting, and it lead him into the very heart of Hell itself and never once did he feel fear to that curses place. The only fear he ever felt was that he would never see her beautiful face again, the only fear he felt was that he had lost the most important thing in his life once again and this time, he knew he would not survive with her gone. In only the short time they had been together, he had become completely dependent on her touch, her taste, her love and without it, he knew he would shrivel up and die. In the very depths of the raging inferno, he encountered his one and only though it was not fully her. What he found was the innocent child that never existed, that was never allowed to exist because of a destiny crueler than any other ever known. It hurt his heart to look upon the young girl, knowing that there was a chance his love was really gone forever though he would be reminded of her face every time he looked upon this young girl. He wasted no time helping her, never once fathomed the idea of not rescuing this girl though every time she asked who he was or that she didn't remember anything, he felt his heart shred into a millions and bitterness grip his mind because fate had been so cruel to both of them.
The old man remembered that dark time with more clarity than someone his age should have but one does not easily forget the end of the world nor the ultimate battle that finally brought destiny to a close, and his beloved back to his side. He remembered her throwing her arms around his neck, nestling tightly into his chest as tears of joy flowed down her face, though no random object exploded, no black storm of telekinetic power erupted around them. He remembered sharing that long, passionate kiss with her as the world returned to its normal path as if nothing ever happened, as his family looked on with smiles of perfect contentment. He remembered just how beautiful she looked in white that day and how she looked just as beautiful the next time she wore white, at their wedding, and she had held him the same way, and they had kissed just as passionately then as they had following the end. And she told him the same words on that wedding day as she had following her father's defeat: "I'm never going to leave your side my love, not now, not ever."
The old man thought back to the years he spent with the most perfect being he ever knew and would ever know. Her intelligence, her grace, her beauty were of the highest perfection, all things one would associate with angels yet they were easily outmatched by her compassion, her hopefulness, and her capacity to love him. In public, just like him, they rarely showed there true emotions, both preferring to appear strong and stoic in the eyes of the people, in the eyes of the people they protected. The reason was never because they wanted to appear above those they protected but rather that was just who they were, who they both had been long before a group called the Teen Titans ever existed, long before the two ever met. However, those that knew them best knew the deep, all consuming feelings that existed between the two when they were alone or the brief moments they, at the same time let their guards down to simply be.
The old man gazed down at the tombstone still with a knowing look on his face. No one ever could truly understand just how deep the feelings were between him and her were. Words could never describe the true essence of their love, actions themselves could never properly display the undying passion that existed between the two. There are some things that are simply beyond comprehension, some things that no matter how hard one looks, can not be seen. There are some things that simply are, eternal and perfect, only understood between the two who feel it every second of every day they are together.
His thoughts continued to drift threw time, remembering that even though no child was ever produced between the two of them, they cared for their friend's offspring as if they were there own, even being the godparents to little Robin when he was born to their dearest tamaranian friend. He remembered how heart broken she had been when she found out she was not able to have children and how upset both of them had been that they would never have the chance to give their own child the loving parents for all their life that had been denied to both of them. However, as long as they had each other, they would survive, as long as they had each other, they would be happy and he remembered with a small smile, that everyday when they would wake up, she would curl next to him, kiss him softly on the lips, and tell him that she would never leave him, not now, not ever.
He felt his eyes stinging behind the mask he still wore, still serving its purpose as he still actively aided the cause of justice as a leader. He removed the mask slowly to allow the few tears to escape. His thoughts had finally drifted to the end, when she became sick with cancer. She had fought bravely but even her demon blood and healing powers were not strong enough to stop the disease that ravaged her body. He remembered that even as her body grew weaker, she never once looked any less beautiful to him, never once lost that glowing beauty that he had been fortunate enough to admire every day for 55 years. She tried to suffer in silence as the pain became worse but he knew she hurt. He could look at her and simply know her every thought, she never could have hid something like that. As time went on, as she surpassed the time she should of had, as she continued to fight on, she still told him everyday, though her voice had lost some of its strength, that she would never leave him, not now and not ever. One day, he remembered lying down next to her, taking her small body into his arms and whispering gently into ear.
"It's okay my Raven. Its okay to leave.. You don't have to stay here anymore, you don't have to fight anymore.' He remembered she tried to weakly protest but he silenced her with a kiss and whispered to her, hovering just above her face.
"Its okay my love, its okay because I know you will never leave me just as I will never leave you. Not even the end will separate us." He remembered one last small smile from her face, one last kiss, and then, Raven Grayson, passed away peacefully in the arms of her lover, her husband, her life.
Richard felt a few more tears fall though not many. He knelt down in front of the grave and pulled out a single white rose from under his cloak and placed it on the ground as he quietly spoke words only meant for one other person's ears.
"I am no longer afraid to lose my beautiful Raven because I now know, something that you helped teach me, that some things can never be lost because they will always be found again." The old man stood up, pulling his cloak around his body as the sun began to set in the far off distance. He turned to leave smiling as he left, as he knew the spirit of his beloved followed closely by his side, awaiting the day when he would finally join her because in the end, they would never leave each other, not now, not ever.