What Love Feels Like, a Sailor Moon fanfic

Disclaimer: I don't own SailorMoon, no mater how much I wish I did. Naoko Takeuchi does, and whoever else pays for it.

Summary: A one shot look into the lives of one senshi and her guardian, spanning through the entire series.

The young princess sighed as she watched the Earth transport make its way back to the blue sphere that hovered above the Moon. Blue eyes threatened to overflow with unshed tears as a lunar wind gently played with strands of her long blond hair. She shifted about slightly, her dress ruffling as she leaned against the smooth stone railing and continued to watch the ship move swiftly through space. Thoughts and visions of the man she loved drifted through her mind, and she smiled at the memory of the past few days, and the great enjoyment it had brought to both of them. They had both so desperately needed a vacation from regular duties that the rulers of the Moon and Earth virtually commanded the two to take time off. Convenient that they should both choose to be off at the same time. But now that time was over, and she was watching her lover drift off back to his command. A crystal tear slowly slid down her cheek, and with another sigh she slumped down onto a stone bench, and burying her face in her hands, began to cry.

“Baka…its not like you aren’t going to see him again…next month as a matter of fact.” She scolded herself for her weakness and the absurdity of her tears. She was able to hold back from crying as they parted, and for a good time after that, but now the tears were coming, and there was nothing she could do to stop it.

“Excuse me princess…but are you all right?” A soft voice asked, and a gentle touch was felt on her knee. She started upright and tried to hide her tears, frowning slightly at the white cat that sat next to her. After a moment of confusion she recognized him to be one of the ambassadors from the planet Mau, and an advisor to the Queen.

“I am. Thank you.” She looked away, back towards Earth, and expected the cat to leave. Instead, he did something she didn’t expect a highly intelligent species to do, he climbed into her lap and rubbed against her hand, purring softly. She blinked down at him, but began to stroke his fur, as if by reflex.

“Pardon me for being so forward princess, but you don’t appear to be all right…would you like to talk about it?” He quietly asked, his green eyes concerned.

“I’m not sure that you would understand…Artemis is your name correct?” He nodded and she nodded once. “Artemis…not a typical male name in our society…”

“Not really one in mine either. But its fitting I suppose.” Artemis curled up in her lap, laying so that he could look up at her. She gently scritched behind his ears, and he purred.

“Yes, fitting…I suppose mine is as well.” She stared off into the darkness of the space around the Earth.

“So you think I might not understand? Well…I might not, but I can listen quite well princess. I assure you that anything that you tell me will not be shared with anyone else.”

She smiled softly. “Have you ever been in love?” she suddenly asked, and he blinked.

“Well…no, not madly. I have had a few crushes in my life, and I care deeply for several others, but no, I don’t suppose I’ve really been in love.”

“So you don’t really know what it feels like…”

“No, I suppose I don’t.”

She sat quietly for a few moments before picking him up and walking towards a bench that was in a more secluded position on the balcony. She was silent for a few more minutes while she thought of his answer, and how to continue.

“Love is pretty important in this kingdom. In the Venetian court, the princess is practically expected to marry for love, and not some arrangement…I’m not worried about that at all…no…not that.” She continued to stroke his fur, and he sat quietly, gently kneading his paws against her leg, not using his claws. He hadn’t been on the moon for that long, but he knew that humans seemed to really enjoy the kneading sensation. They also found enjoyment and relaxation in stroking his fur, and finding it to be a pleasurable experience, he was happy to accept and encourage that activity. He quietly waited until she felt ready to speak again.

“No, I’m not worried about that. I’m not even really worried about never seeing him again, even though Earth is in civil war. He promised to return, and I shall hold onto that. Its just that…my heart aches to be away from him…I've never felt this sort of feeling before.”

“I may have never felt such a feeling, but I do understand what you are saying princess.” He began to purr softly.

“Please, call me Minako. I have to hear “princess” all the time when I’m not around Serenity, and then I have to hear “Venus” when I am. You wouldn’t think I had a name…”

“Minako. Aye, your name is fitting.” He nuzzled her hand and she smiled.

“For a child of Venus, yes, it is.” She smiled down at him for a few moments before sighing softly and again turning her eyes to the planet that hovered above. “I just…want to be with him forever. Every time we have to separate, its like part of me is ripped out and walks away…and when he comes back, it’s like being whole again. I know that when the Princess and the Prince get married, we’ll be able to be with each other, but until then…each time we’re together…I cant help but feel like it’s the last. Each time is so precious to me…”

They sat there quietly for around an hour, she gently stroking his back and he softly purring, both thinking about love, life, and duty. A shout accompanied by a crackle of lightening and then laughter caught their attention, and they both leaned to look down at the grounds below the balcony. A girl with long brunette hair held up in a ponytail stood below, clad in a green fuku reminiscent of that of the sailors on Earth’s oceans. Her green eyes shone with mischief as the antenna that emerged from her golden tiara sparkled with electricity. Several yards away sat another girl, shaking her head to get her ocean blue hair back into place. Her midnight blue eyes glared up at the tall girl as she stood up, smoothing her blue fuku down and dusting herself off. They heard something about water conducting electricity before a shouted command from the short girl had the brunette running as a blast of water rushed towards her, and quickly caught up and doused its victim. A few unladylike curses came from the tall girl as she was shocked by her own powers, and then she burst out laughing good-naturedly at the deserved revenge. The shorter girl walked over to help the other girl stand, and the two on the balcony were able to see the scorch mark on her back which had undoubtedly been caused by the green eyed girl. Minako shook her head and smiled.

“Glad to see I trained them so wonderfully…” she chuckled and trailed off, leaning back against the railing.

Artemis looked up at her and smiled. “You did Minako. They’re just playing…everyone needs to forget about duty every now and then…” he trailed off, noticing her eyes darken slightly at the mention of duty.

“Duty…I’m so bound to mine…and he to his. Somedays I just want to walk away from it all. Half of my heart just wants to run away from it all and just spend the rest of my life with him…and the other half is so tied to this that it would break if I left it. Another reason why it hurts so much…”

“Things will work out Minako.”

“Promise?”

“I promise.” She smiled at him and he purred loudly as she gave him a tight squeeze. The two spent the rest of the afternoon sitting quietly together, talking idly of dreams and wishes, planets and kings, of the fantastic things they had seen, and letting their bond begin to grow.

Though he was meant to be an advisor to the Queen, he was content to leave most of those duties to his dark furred female companion, and to spend time with the girl who was commander of the senshi that protected the Moon Princess. The bond between the two of them continued to flourish, and they became each other’s support when things weren’t going right, and each other’s partner in revelry when things were. She was the first he showed the human form the Queen had given him, and he was the one she would save the first dance for during the many royal balls. She always saved the last dance for the man she loved, and he was happy to protect her from those who wished to steal her away for a dance or two. When her father passed away and her lover was unable to leave the front lines, he comforted her into the late hours of the night when she was unable to sleep, and was always there as a shoulder to cry on when she needed it. He saw through the mask she wore on the outside, the person she showed to the majority of the court was a strong, powerful and loyal warrior who never wavered. He knew her to be strong, powerful and loyal, but to also be fragile and self doubtful of herself and her ability to perform her duty. He knew how to tell when she was brooding over the subject their first conversation was about, and how to tell when she needed to be distracted lest she kill someone in barely concealed anger. He wished he were able to take away those things which caused her such internal conflict, but was more than happy to be there to give her support to get through tough times.

The Queen was an observant woman, and certainly noticed from the beginning that he was more concerned with the Venetian princess than with anything else, and while some would be angry at him for brushing off the duties he had been assigned there to do, she was not. Rather, she was quite pleased that the two had such a connection. She knew that her daughter and her guardians were the closest of friends, but even they were separated into pairs, leaving the child of love to fend for herself in most cases where the others would have someone to lean on. Minako took her duty seriously, and would rarely let even these closest of friends see the person inside. True, they knew her better than the rest of the court, and knew of her strong and weak points, like they knew each other’s, but Minako had distanced herself just enough from even them from the very beginning. So the fact that she had opened up and formed such a bond with the Mau made the Queen quite happy. Especially now. Oracles from Pluto, Mars and Neptune had come to her with news that was quite disturbing and did not bode well for the future. The war on Earth had not gotten worse, rather, it seemed that the people we beginning to unite again. But the cause for their alliance was disturbing to her…it seemed as if they were beginning to speak of overthrowing the Silver Kingdom, and she sensed an evil force behind it, and did not like it one bit.

Time came to prove the oracles correct. An evil force twisted the minds of the Earthlings against the rest of the Moon kingdom, and one day an attack came against the Moon itself. It was the Princesses 16th birthday, and a ball was being held on the occasion. The situation on Earth had prompted the Queen and the other rulers to ban all Earthlings from visiting the kingdom, much to the dismay of the Princess and her guardians. The ban prevented the Earth prince and his generals from visiting, which meant that the girls we unable to contact the men they loved. The Earth prince was of determined stock, and had managed to sneak onto the Moon, and danced with the Princess at the costume ball. They had stolen away for a private moment when the attack suddenly came. Forces of men filled with evil power marched against the unprepared castle, quickly breaching all defenses and bringing the battle into the castle itself.

Minako and the other planetary princesses had transformed into the Sailor Senshi and were quite effectively holding off the troops, determined to protect their Princess. Suddenly, a demon loomed over the castle, and a scream was heard which wrenched through the hearts of each of the girls. Rushing to their Princess, they were horrified to find the Earthen prince struck down by a blow from a woman who radiated demonic power. The Princess held her lover’s lifeless body in her arms as the senshi fought to get to her. Then, to their ultimate horror and nightmare, the Princess lifted the holy blade of the Moon, and with a swift movement, joined her love in death. The senshi each screamed out in pain as the Princess fell, and finally breaking through, Venus ran her blade clean through the woman who had killed the Prince. Yet they were too late…and their nightmare was to end with one final horrifying blow. The four Earth generals, the men they loved, came to them. Their eyes were lifeless; they had been taken by the evil power that was destroying their kingdom. Simply unable to continue to fight, each senshi was struck down by the man they loved in the ultimate act of betrayal, Venus falling last, and next to her Princess.

The Queen and the two cats came upon this scene of terror, and the Queen screamed out in anguish at the death of her daughter, and anger at the demon that laughed above her. Using the holy power of the Silver Imperial Crystal, she sealed away the demon and all of its followers deep within the caverns of Earth’s polar regions. Using this power came at a price, and the Queen was greatly weakened. Gazing upon her daughter and her court, she used the last of her powers to send them into the future, to live the normal life they all longed for, and to be free to love those they wished. Being a smart woman, she realized that her spell might not be unbreakable, and that the planetary powers of the Sailor Senshi may be needed to destroy the demon that had destroyed them. So she sent the two Mau advisors into the future as well, but with the most important memories intact, should they need to awaken the senshi again. And with that final act, she let the last of her energy drain away, and joined the rest of her kingdom in the silence of death.

Thousands of years went by, and the princess and her court were reborn. None of them had any memories of their past together and each lead a somewhat normal life, the princess living the most stable life of the group. Though they had no memories, each felt a nagging need to be with someone, and spent their life searching through the faces of the people who passed, looking for a spark of recognition. The two cats kept quiet vigil, watching over the girls should the need to awaken them ever arise. Remembering some of their past together, Artemis naturally gravitated towards Minako, and much to Luna’s disapproval, was living with her. He never spoke to her, wanting her to live a happy life, and not wanting her to suffer through all the old pains of the past. One horrible day, Artemis discovered the awakening of the evil force that had destroyed everything in the past. He was torn inside…he didn’t know if he should make Minako remember.

One night, he woke to hear Minako crying. Sitting up, he meowed softly, but got no answer. Investigation showed that she was asleep, and crying in her dreams. The dreams turned into nightmares, and she suffered through them for several nights, finally talking to him and telling him of the strangeness of them. He didn’t answer, but from what she was telling him, he began to think she was remembering on her own. He hated to see her confusion and pain, and finally, came to a decision.

And so Sailor V was born, and the two were able to resume old roles of being each other’s best friend. He found it somewhat amusing that she found enjoyment in being a senshi again, even if it wasn’t her true powers. Especially since she had begun to loathe it so much in the past. They observed from afar as Luna began to reawaken the other senshi and train them to fight, and waited for the right time to rejoin the rest of the team. He was thankful that she didn’t remember all of the past, and was spared the pain of remembering that the man who killed her, and who was now fighting against the senshi was the man she used to love, though somedays he thought he could see it in her eyes. Eventually, they grouped up with the rest of the senshi, and after several years, they did remember. He knew he would never forget the day he returned from a walk to find her slumped over and sobbing, a pang of déjà vu in his gut. Smiling softly, he jumped up on the bed next to her, and gently placed his paw on her knee.

“Excuse me princess…but are you all right?”

Many more years went by, enemies came and were eventually destroyed by their sacrifice and power, the pure hearted senshi and their beloved Princess proving to be a force that no evil could overcome, fighting through trials and hardships to keep the world at peace. A new era came as humanity slept for the thousand years as the Princess and the senshi saved the world yet again, and in the process created Crystal Tokyo. The Prince and Princess became King and Queen, and presently a child was born. The new princess kept the senshi busy, constantly curious, just like her mother. Evil is never truly destroyed, another war broke out…the princess disappearing into the winds of time, the enemy strong and numerous. Visions from their childhood came and saved their own future, and life began again. Being immortal was difficult for the senshi, men they loved and married grew old and died while they seemed to never age, and their own children would follow suit, leaving each alone in the end. The ancient Queen’s wish for them to find love and happiness wasn’t forgotten by the powers that had placed them there, however, and one day, the four generals appeared on the castle steps, reborn, and cleansed. At last, the senshi had their lovers, and the happiness that the Queen had wished for them finally came.

Minako sat in the window seat of her private study, gazing out at the castle grounds. She smiled softly, watching her husband, her love, playing with their daughter and the daughters of the other senshi. She glanced across the courtyard and saw her Queen and the teenage Princess, and old reminders of her past conflicts returned. The other senshi joined their husbands and children, but she stayed inside. She had had an argument with her love, and felt that he needed time to be with their child. She watched as her extended family enjoyed the day outside, and frowned at herself, and her old, extremely old, habit of distancing herself from the rest of them. A footfall caught her attention, and she turned to see a white form quietly making its way across the carpet. Smiling, she lifted Artemis up into her lap and once again affirmed the bond that the two of them had spent lifetimes building.

With the birth of their daughters, the heirs to their powers, the senshi finally began to feel the affects of time upon their bodies. Slowly, they began to finally grow old, and happily accepted it. The King and Queen felt it as well, and they all embraced their newfound mortality. Years went by and each senshi passed her powers down to her daughter, who grew strong in their duty and knowing that they would carry on the peace that was the trademark of the Crystal Kingdom. The elder senshi weren’t the only ones growing old, their husbands aged as well, and they all made it a point to enjoy the twilight of their lives, each living the way they wished.

A bit of that old age defying magic held on to the senshi, and one by one, each of their husbands passed away before they did. The King and Queen felt it coming and passed on the crown to the Princess and her love, the guardian Helios. Soon, death began to quietly come for the great guardians of the Earth, and one by one, the elder senshi passed on. Soon, Minako was the only senshi left.

“I was the first, and now I’m the last of us.” She quietly whispered to the old white cat curled in her lap as she gazed upon the moon from her window seat.

Artemis purred, a bit rustily. He and Minako were the last, Luna had passed away shortly after the Queen, and he and his lifelong companion were spending what they knew to be their last days together. Minako coughed, and he looked up at her, concerned. “Are you all right?”

She smiled. “You seem to ask me that a lot.”

He chuckled. “Yes, I suppose I do.”

They both smiled and sat silently, she gently scritching behind his ear, he gently kneading her leg with his paws. “Being alone…missing him…missing them…sometimes it hurts so much.” Minako whispered, a crystal tear sliding down her cheek.

“Things will work out Minako.”

“Promise?”

“I promise.”

A soft wind blew, and fate opened a final door. Minako held Artemis close, and together, they began the final journey. “I’ll always be here for you Minako.”

“Thank you Artemis.”

“Minako?”

“Yes?”

“I know what love feels like now.”

Authors note.

Heh, well…the reasons behind this are rather odd, so I’m going to leave them be. I really liked this; I might change the ending, so this might show up revised at some point…but I did enjoy writing it. I hope you enjoyed reading it…please, leave me a review, or drop me an e-mail, I’d love to hear from you

Thanks again for reading!

Sincerely,

Ataramos

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